Bleacher season ticket holders are the worst
Mar24

Bleacher season ticket holders are the worst

We take a break from our regularly scheduled tedium of arguing over whether Kris Bryant should start the season in Iowa or Chicago, to bring you something even more unctuous. How about Wrigley Bleacher Season Ticket Holders complaining about not only that the bleachers won’t be ready on opening night, but also about how the Cubs keep ruining the “bleacher experience?” In the Tribune, our good friend Paul...

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Six question interview: Scott Boras
Mar23

Six question interview: Scott Boras

We only get the biggest stars for our Six Question Interview series1 and today we get the biggest sports agent there is. No, not Dicky Fox. Scott Boras. Your reputation is that you only represent the very best.  If that’s true, why don’t you represent me? I don’t represent people who do whatever it is that you do.  But if I did, I’m sure I could get you 1,000x whatever you get paid to do this now. I get paid...

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Cubs’ first division problems
Mar19

Cubs’ first division problems

A sign of how far the Cubs have come in such a short period of time is what their “problems” are.  You’ve heard of ‘white people’ problems and ‘first world’ problems? Well, the Cubs have at least a couple of ‘first division’ problems. 1. Who’s going to be the fifth starter? It wasn’t all that long ago that the Cubs didn’t know who any of their five starters should...

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Six question interview — Clark the Cub
Mar17

Six question interview — Clark the Cub

Our never-ending series of Six Question Interviews continues today with Clark the Cub, the Cubs’ now one-year old mascot.  Best known for being pantless, Clark fills the all-important void of in-game, in-stands irritant that didn’t really ever actually exist. Why don’t you wear pants? My shirt is long enough that it really shouldn’t matter.  Besides, I don’t have genitals, so it’s really not a...

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Do people really worry about spring training records?
Mar11

Do people really worry about spring training records?

Yesterday, one of the greatest things in Cubs history happened.  It’s a sad testament to the history of this “proud” franchise that I’m only slightly exaggerating when I say that. Three players, none of whom have spent more than 90 days in the big leagues, hit back to back to back home runs.  In a spring exhibition game. Everyone within a 600 mile radius of Chicago immediately became erect. Your browser does...

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Six questions with Dexter Fowler
Mar06

Six questions with Dexter Fowler

The never-ending series of spring training interviews continues today with Six Questions with Dexter Fowler.  You were thrilled and sickened by similar interviews with Jon Lester, Starlin Castro and Tom Ricketts, now let’s talk with one of the newest Cubs, a guy with impossible shoes to fill.1 So, you’re really not Luis Valbuena, are you? What?  No.  I’m Dexter Fowler. Are you sure you’re not Luis Valbuena?  I...

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