When Jay Cutler left his groin in a pile in DC several weeks ago, we all thought the season was over. Once again, an injury to the one competent Bears QB on the roster would fell the entire house of cards and we’d have months of terrible football to slog through. But lo, there was another.
The Bears rummaged through the scrap heap and pulled out Josh McCown, and he was pretty good. He nearly won a ludicrous shootout in that game, and then after the bye he got a start in Lambeau Field. Shea McClellin made himself useful for once and broke Aaron Rodgers’ collarbone and McCown played well enough for the Bears to win the game.
After Cutler rushed back (too soon) and got hurt again in a loss to Detroit, McCown played well in a tornadic victory against the Ravens and in a head-scratching loss to the Rams. He did not (despite good stats) play well in a road loss to the Vikings, but then last night he went crazy on the Dallas Cowboys (helped in no small part by two dropped interceptions and another that was called back because of a penalty.)
Are you ready? It’s coming. The long wait is almost over. It’s just a few hours away. Our beloved Bears finally take the field for real on Sunday and they face the similarly dressed Cincinnati Bengals. The game starts at noon, and “it” starts for real at about 3 p.m.
“It” of course is the symbiotic relationship between meathead Bears fans and the awful, horrible, local media that cover this team.
“It” never really stops, of course, but an actual game, played for real with standings and stuff on the line, brings out the worst in both the parasites and the hosts.
Meathead talking points have been distributed. They have to be written in all caps and they have to be limited to a syllable or two per word, but they’re out there.
If it’s over (and it sure feels like it’s over), the Lovie Smith era is going to be remembered for a Super Bowl appearance, a strange, turnover generating defense, a strange turnover generating offense, and three paltry playoff wins in nine seasons.
Lovie won lots of games, an average of nine per year, and he inherited a truly bad team, and turned it around in short order. But like just about every other Bears coach, ever, he tried to win for a long time without a real quarterback, and then when he got one, he employed strange men to call the plays, and mostly mediocre (or worse) players to play with him.
The Bears have, incredibly, missed the playoffs five times in the last six seasons. In today’s NFL, that’s nearly impossible, especially when you share a division with the Lions. And so, the turn of events that took them from a 7-1 start to a 3-5 finish, not only made the Bears the second team ever to miss the playoffs after winning seven of their first eight, could very well mean the end of the Lovie Smith era.
Emasculating haircut? Check.
Emasculating dog? Check.
Comfy pants? Check.
Orange running shoes that Steve Prefontaine likely tested in 1973? Check.
Pink bag filled with rolled up dog shit retrieval bags? Check.
Bemused look? Check.
Giving the old fuck you to the paparazzo? Check.