There was a point yesterday, probably just before the half when you realized that not only had the Bears scored on offense, defense and special teams, but that we might actually be watching the end of Joey Harrington’s career. I for one, wasn’t sure what was more enjoyable.
The Bears go out of their way to tell anyone and everyone how great Kyle Orton is and how he’s so composed and confident in the huddle. In fact, they go so far out of their way, that you can’t help but question their motivation for it. You hope it’s because they feel strongly about it, and you fear that it’s that they’re trying to convince themselves of it by saying it out loud.
But if you asked the Lions about Joey you’d have to break out the five-second delay to keep your FCC license. The words they’d use to describe their erstwhile franchise quarterback would rhyme a lot with things like basshole, bumspit and…hey, anybody know what rhymes with pussy?
Regardless, while it would be easy to put all the focus on the epic failures of Harrington and Roy Williams (how about that effort he made on the Nate Vasher interception in the end zone–I’ve seen kids wave goodbye to the school bus with more verve) and that vaunted Lions’ front four, but to do that would be to miss the real point of yesterday.
The Bears were pretty freakin’ good.
On offense the line ripped holes through the defense that were so big, even Thomas Jones could run through them. Muhsin Muhammad abused the Lions’ secondary, and Orton? Well, we mocked the way everybody goes overboard talking about how calm and poised he is, but the fact is, he does seem pretty calm and poised, but the best part is that he’s got a gun. His second quarter TD pass to Muhammad had to be a laser and it was.
Last week’s debut was a recipe for disaster. To open on the road, in the biggest NFL stadium in front of a very loud crowd and against one of the NFL’s best defenses is not how you’d draw it up if you had a choice. Orton made a few mistakes. Had Chad Hutchinson made the team and made the start he’d have made several dozen mistakes and the Bears probably would have lost 119-0.
They always say (and I love “they” whoever they are) a player makes his biggest improvement between his first game and his second game. Orton was better, and so was every other Bear.
Brian Urlacher sacked Harrington twice, and the second one was the best. Harrington actually saw Urlacher coming and tried to run to his left to buy some time to throw the ball away. Only Urlacher closed on him so quickly that all you saw on the replay was Harrington’s eyes get big when he saw Brian, then get cartoonishly big as Urlacher grabbed him. He’s been around for six years and every week you see evidence of another opponent being surprised…no, being horrified at how big and fast Brian is. That never gets old, either.
The highlight for me was Mike Brown making himself into a missile and blowing Lions’ tight end Marcus Pollard out of the sky. The highlight wasn’t the hit, which had too much of the top of Brown’s head involved in it for my taste, but for the Joe Buck reaction to it.
“Oh.
Ohhh!
Ohhhhhhh!
Ohhh!
Ohh!
Oh.”
Those six oh’s were spread over about two minutes. It was annoying, it was unnecessary and another reminder of why while you don’t need a jock as the lead announcer for your NFL coverage, you do probably need somebody with a modicum of testosterone.
You could tell Joe wanted to come out and bash Brown for a dirty hit, but since he sits next to the man who lead the world in concussions in the ’90s he just deferred to Troy Aikman whose analysis of it went like this:
“That was a pretty good hit by Brown there. That reminds me of the time that, actually I don’t remember anything. I’ll be at that ceremony tomorrow night in Dallas to get my name in the ring of honor and I won’t remember anybody. Hey, the Bears are wearing white at home! Hey Joe, when did you get here? Is there a game today? Did I have breakfast?”
By the way, the white jersey at home thing…while I know every home team did it for the noon kickoffs…not a good trend. The Bears’ blue jersey is the best looking jersey in football. That is all.
I think we can all agree that Lovie Smith’s promotion of Chris Harris to the starting lineup over Mike Green (Mr. Irrelevant, 2000) was a rousing success. Harris was late covering for Charles Tillman who took a bad step on the Lions’ only score of the game (a 51 yarder to Roy Williams, who, by the way still does not give a s@#$ about Carolina). Otherwise, Harris was just running around hitting guys.
Walleye Ogunleye hurt his ankle, which, as we know is an every other game occurence for Walleye. They really should take one of the golf carts, paint a big orange and blue 93 on it, paint “Trolling for Walleye” on it and have it ready to drive him off the field and into the locker room every other game.
Bobby Wade was inactive for the Redskins’ game, and apparently so was the Bears’ offensive line…(rimshot, please!), but played yesterday and returned a punt 74 yards for a touchdown. The dumbest thing in the NFL (and there’s a pretty good list) is the fact that you have to have inactive players each week. You pay 53 guys, you might as well play them. But something tells me Bobby will be active next week.
Doug Brien stinks. Only the Bears would sign a guy who was let go by his old team when he became the first player in NFL history (and the dinosaurs played football, so we’re going back some) to miss two potential lead-changing field goals in the final three minutes of a playoff game.
I liked how Aikman and Buck complained about the high grass, necessitated by the fact that the field was all new sod because the real turf got ripped up by people still paying upwards of $200 a ticket to watch what’s left of Mick, Keith, Ron and Charlie. Troy and Joe blamed the high grass for Lions’ kicker Remy Hamilton missing an extra point. I’m sure it wasn’t the fact that Alfonso Boone blocked it, or that the kicker was Remy Hamilton, and Remy’s not exactly…you know, good, that had anything to do with it.
Not to put a damper on one of the most thoroughly enjoyable Bears win in…a long time, but it’s possible that the Lions are just really bad. With Green Bay losing at home to the Browns, and we know the Browns aren’t going to set the world on fire, the Lions’ 17-7 opening week win looks even less impressive than it did then (and even then, it didn’t look too hot). What is promising, however, is that the NFC North could be epically bad. So far the teams in the division are 2-6 after eight games and both wins came in games where North teams played each other, meaning somebody had to win, or tie. If the Bears can scrape together nine wins they could win it running away. Maybe even eight.
Take a look at the offenses and defenses of each team in the divison. Of those eight units, only one is truly dominant, the Bears’ defense. That might just be enough.
Sporting events would be easier to listen to, if I left the booth to be with my dad.
Did you like how my partner was consistently going out of his way to defend Joey Harrington? Yeah, ex-QB turned analyst; that’s not TOO transparent.
Also, I know the Deadbirds were in town and so I may have gotten FOX to dispatch me to Chicago, but do you mean to tell me that yesterday’s game was really the #1 broadcast?
I am insufferable assbag, BTW.
The Sox are 40-37 since taking the first game against the Cubs at the Cell, not 40-47.
“anybody know what rhymes with pussy?”
Uh…. no.
Yes Joe, you are an insufferable assbag.
This comment brought to you by the 2005 Chicago White Sox:
Win. Or suffer the biggest collapse in baseball history.
“To open on the road, in the biggest NFL stadium in front of a very loud crowd and against one of the NFL’s defenses is not how you’d draw it up if you had a choice”
As opposed to playing against one of the WNBA’s defenses?
FYC!
The 93 cart was not put in action yesterday. Me and my ankle walked off the field.
The only thing that comes to mind when I think of pussy (besides Angie Everhart) is the WHITE SOX!!!! Man you guy’s fucking suck!!! I mean, say what you will about the Cubs but we didnt fuck away a 15 game lead in our division in just over a month! CHOKE BITCHES! CHOKE!!!!
I’m unfunny, but at least I’m taking an unfunny swipe at the South Siders:
Honesty compels me to agree with Andy. That pass from Orton to Moose at the goal line was a “laser” folks.
I was appalled when I saw them run out in the whites but honestly, if they keep playing like this they can wear pink with purple polka-dots for all we care.
You’ll see the Bears in me soon.
B. Leftwich does look like a fatass gary coleman! Good one #9!
The fact is, we probably won’t lose our lead. Even if we do, our record will be good enough to take us into the playoffs as a wild card. What you are seeing now, is how good we really are. We all played over our heads, and have since come back to earth. Truth is, we can’t beat good teams. In the playoffs, you face good teams, so expect us home in 3 or 4 games.
Dolan  No Friday summation from the Dwyer/Dolan Wrigley Summit? I’d have thought a protracted story about Dwyer weeping for his team’s loss like Tony LaRussa after being forced to watch 5 hours of dogs suffering in New Orleans would be on these pages. At the very least, you could have mentioned how Kelly did at the Manhole after the game.
15 wins isn’t an important number to me, because I’ll never get there.
It appears that I forgot to shave underneath my lower lip for SI.com picture day.
Either that, or I was tossing salad with Apex, and I forgot to use a napkin.
What? No comment on how only Olin Kreutz heard the snap count to start the fourth quarter giving the Lions a free play to maul Orton?
Geez. You’ve gone soft, Andy.
Olin wasn’t the only one to hear the snap count. He was the only one who didn’t know what it was. When the center snaps it and nobody moves, it means the center is the one who’s wrong.
But I’m a Pro-Bowler!
For a good laugh, read me.
We’d like to see the Yankees be the odd team out, as further proof that trying to buy a championship is an inexact science.
One dude in a White Sox jersey, being choked by another dude in an Indians jersey would be fung mang… that is as long as they actually choke.
This is a lot like 1969. If the Indians come through, you could honestly say that they won it. What are they, .800 over the past few weeks? That’s getting IT done, mister man.
And then, he touched me in my special place…he told me not to tell anyone, and that it was my fault…is this gonna make things weird for me?
Good to see Sloth posted a couple minutes before #28. It greatly increases the chances that he’s still the only creep who thinks children being raped passes for comedy.
Go Colts!
Eric Patterson (Korey’s brother) apparently just got moved up to West Tenn
Stats at Peoria:
110 games, hitting a league-high .333
13 homers, 71 RBIs and 40 steals.
League-leading 90 runs
Ranked top five in his league in the stolen bases, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, triples and hits categories.