Every year the Super Bowl gets bigger and bigger. Along the way it becomes less football game and more mere spectacle. Super Bowl XL had all the trimmings. Dueling four hour plus pregame shows (just who’s the genius who thought Michael Irvin needed to be on free TV today?), 60 year old Brits signing 40 year old songs during halftime and a multi-millionaire winning a free car. Great.
Only the media crush of two weeks with nothing tangible to talk about could turn good guys like Jerome “Did you know he was from Detroit” Bettis and loud-but funny Joey “They shot me in Denver!” Porter into stories we just wanted to go away.
But it was fitting that an NFL season that was filled with more bad officiating than we’d ever seen before showcased a Super Bowl in which even observers without a stake in the game (like me) are pretty sure that the refs strapped it on and anally violated the Seahawks for four hours.
I went into the game hoping Pissburgh would win. I’m no fan of either the Manatee who coaches the Seahawks or their quarterback. Both were Packers and seemed to enjoy it. So screw them. But it seemed to me that while it was a poorly officiated game from start to finish, that the refs were giving it to the Blue Men more than the guys from Pissburgh.
It started in the first quarter on an awful offensive pass interference call that cost the Seahawks a touchdown. Have you ever seen a defensive back literally talk an official into a call? Well, you have now.
It continued on the goalline play when Ben Roethlisberger scored the touchdown. The linesman who finally signalled touchdown didn’t signal until Roethlisberger was on the ground, lying there and pushing the ball over the line. Replays showed clearly (even enough for one-eyed Stu Scott to see) that Roethlisberger was pushed back as he was trying to stretch the ball over. I’ll never be convinced that he scored. However, if that was as bad as the calls got against Seattle, they’d have little to complain about.
It took the barely lucid announcing crew of Al Michaels and new Hall of Famer John Madden a few minutes to figure out that with less than two minutes left in the half, that Seattle didn’t (and in fact couldn’t) challenge the call, the booth had to do it.
Then, any optimism Seattle fans might have been feeling about the call being reversed were quashed when ABC showed an incredible stat that referee Bill Leavy, in the past three seasons has only overturned reviewed calls 23 percent of the time, the lowest in the NFL over that span. That could man that Leavy’s crew is the best in the NFL (which is why they were doing the Super Bowl), or it could just mean that Bill always covers his crew’s asses.
Chip Caray’s honesty compels me to say that Pissburgh got jobbed once, too. In the first quarter, Joey Porter’s boyfriend Jeramy Stevens caught a pass then dropped it and while Madden was babbling on about “Chris” Polamalu, replays kept showing it should have been a fumble. It was all Michaels could do to get a word in edgewise to point it out to Madden, who is clearly distracted by trying to figure out how to sail the Madden Cruiser to Hawaii by next Sunday for the Hall of Fame stuff they always do at the Pro Bowl.
For me, the game, and any credibility the refs were clinging to, slipped away on a Seattle drive that covered the end of the third and beginning of the fourth quarters. Down 14-10, Seattle had just a few moments earlier averted game-ending disaster when Roethlisberger threw a third down and goal interception from the six yard line, a maneuever that very nearly led to Bill Cowher eating his lower jaw. A score there could have put Pissburgh up 21-3 and the game would be over. Instead it led to a Seattle touchdown (a juggling catch of an easy pass from Hasselbeck to Stevens–Stevens did a lot of juggling in the game).
Now, Seattle was moving on a drive that started at their own two. They had moved inside the Pissburgh 20 and a touchdown would give them the lead.
Hasselbeck threw a pass to Stevens at the two, and watching the play it appeared that Pissburgh linebacker Clark Haggans had jumped offsides, giving Seattle a free play. The call would begin a series of awful calls against Seattle.
Instead of being correctly whistled for offsides, the Steelers became the beneficiary of a phantom holding call on the guy trying to block Haggans. Replays would not show any holding, but the ball was brought back from first and goal at the two, to first and 20 from outside the 30.
Haggans jumped early on the next play. No call. Mack Strong abandoned the inside where he was supposed to be blocking to help out on Haggans, leaving Casey Hampton free to sack Hasselbeck. Second and 30 from outside the 40 yard line.
On the next play, Seattle ran a sweep, and Shaun Alexander nearly broke it, only to be tackled by the horsecollar by Joey Porter. No call. Even Al Michaels was compelled to point it out on a subsequent replay.
Next play, Ike Taylor intercepts Hasselbeck. Disaster averted for Pissburgh. To that point Ike had been getting routinely and thoroughly, much like he’d beaten Tina for years.
Oh, Ike Turner. Never mind.
But wait…there’s more. Hasselbeck made the tackle on Taylor, and incredibly was called for “blocking below the knees” when the other team had the ball and he was making a tackle. I have no idea.
A couple plays later, future Bear Antwan Randle-El ends the Super Bowl with a touchdown pass to Super Bowl MVP Hines Ward.
The refs weren’t done with the Seahawks, though.
On the next Seattle drive, Hasselbeck lost the ball as he fell to the ground after a scramble. As the ball was rolling across the turf, the umpire was signalling to stop the clock. Then, inexplicably he signaled for the Steelers to have the ball. Huh? Weren’t you just trying to blow the play dead?
A replay showed that Hasselbeck had been touched as he fell to the ground by former Cubs catcher Barry Foote.
Quick Barry Foote story. He once (on what had to be a very windy day) homered to Waveland and the ball bounced off the street and through a window in one of the buildings. The next day the owner of the building complained to the Cubs. Later that afternoon they put the bill for the window replacement in Barry’s locker. Nice. And you wonder why this class organization can’t win?
You want more screwing?
Third and six with 4:45 to go, 21-10 Pissburgh. The play clock reaches zero before Roethlisberger can call timeout. The referees huddle. They give Pissburgh a timeout instead of a penalty.
Third and three, Roethlisberger bootlegs to the left, Hines Ward clearly holds Seahawks defensive back Marcus Truffant, allowing Roethlisberger to dive towards the first down marker. Rothelisberger comes up short. He gets a generous spot and no penalty on Ward. First down, Steelers.
Even uppity French film director Francois Truffant would have tackled Roethlisberger short of the first down had he not been mauled by Ward.
That’s not to say that Seattle would have won even without the lengthy series of bad calls.
Consider the brain cramps they ended both halves with. The first half being so mismanaged I thought Dave Wannstedt was calling the shots.
As they let 40 seconds tick off the clock before they settled for a long (missed) field goal, normally useless sideline reporter Suzy Kolber had a chance to interview the Manatee as he left the field. He was bushy chewing out Leavy for the bad call at the goalline on Roethlisberger’s “touchdown.”
So all Suzy can muster is, “Mike, what is the story behind the confusion?”
Nice question. Next time, ask it with puppets, it’ll be even less clear.
Holmgren addresses the goalline play, but pauses to see if Suzy wants to ask him anything else. She freezes and fails to ask him about the clock mismanagement in the last minute of the half.
After the Stones creak their way through halftime, Suzy’s overly cheery face shows up in HD saying, “I had a chance to talk to Coach Holmgren about the end of the half…” We know you did. We saw it. You botched it. Go away.
Guh.
But the Super Bowl left me with just a lot of questions.
How wide was Michael Irvin’s tie? Was it a tie or did he tie a table cloth around his neck?
Does he realize that every time he gets busted with a crack pipe in his car it’s five more years before the Hall of Fame voters will seriously consider him?
Wow, Ottis Anderson has gotten fuh-at. Hasn’t he?
Who’s in charge of polishing the Manatees spiffy white coaching tennis shoes?
You don’t think the NFL made a statement by having the Seahawks introduced to “Bittersweet Symphony” while the Steelers ran out to “Right Here. Right Now” do you?
How did ABC miss that Joey Porter held back the rest of the team so Jerome Bettis could run out first?
Who do Lofa Tatupu’s mom and dad look like twins? Twin brothers?
Who told Tom Brady his velvet suitcoat was cool?
Who told Toyota that their Hybrid slogan “A little gas goes a long way” is funny?
Hey, was that Juan Pierre in a Cubs uniform during the first (long) ESPN Mobile commercial?
How did I not kick in my TV during the awful Chris Berman-narrated commercial for the Tim Allen “Shaggy Dog” movie? Especially when it ended with Berman saying, “”He dropped the hamma on gramma!”
Didn’t Suzy Kolber seem too excited when she told us that the Seattle trainers had to put a towel up to shield Marquan Manuel as they dropped his pants to tape up his groin?
How awful was the “Addicted to Lost” commercial? Robert Palmer just asked to die again.
Didn’t Chuck Klosterman correctly predict the Stones halftime set list to a tee?
Since the halftime show was “produced by the NFL Network” wasn’t it a surprise that it didn’t consist of Rich Eisen and Paul Burmeister singing “Islands in the Stream?”
DD Lewis plays for Seattle? Didn’t he play for the Cowboys in the ’70s?
Doesn’t it look like the Manatee has been wearing the same glasses since 1974?
On the second (shorter) ESPN Mobile, wasn’t Lassie Edmonds clearly staring at Baron Davis’ ass at the bus stop?
Did I hear Michaels say that Seahawks punter Tom Rouen was married to Amy Van Dyke? What, Dick Van Dyke’s kid? Isn’t it Amy Van Dyken, the swimmer? And why was Rouen so busy doing his Brad Maynard impression and botching three chances to pin the Steelers inside the 10?
I liked how Michaels and Madden talked about how Seattle might want to hurry up and kick the field goal down 11, but why did they never mention that maybe scoring two touchdowns would be cool, too?
When did ABC get their blimp footage? It snowed like six inches in Detroit Saturday night, right? Why then, when they showed Comercia Park, was their no snow to be seen on the field?
During a timeout, Madden said, “See, there’s Charlie Batch looking at his wristband for a good play.” A good play for Pissburgh is any play with Charlie standing on the sidelines.
And finally, what was with the weird episode Madden had during a scrum on the field, when he yelled, “Watch out! There could be a foreign object on the field!”
Maybe he meant Super Bowl MVP Hines Ward’s mother?
“And finally, what was with the weird episode Madden had during a scrum on the field, when he yelled, “Watch out! There could be a foreign object on the field!—
I was wondering if I was the only one that heard this…
Just an odd game. The officials were terrible (Wasn’t Levy the official that blew the replay call in Detroit against the Bears a while back?). Seattle had about 93 chances to win the game in the first half and blew them. The Steelers didn’t play that great a game, but the trick play was a brilliant call and got them the win.
Yes that was me.
Didn’t you see me too? That wasn’t Torii Hunter, that was me in a Twinkies uniform.
We have been placed on the endangered species list after Aretha’s coat was finished.
Did anyone else hear the news that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit?
How clueless were we that we didn’t know what Holmgren was talking about going into halftime? In fact, the way ABC produced the game, it was as if that Darrell Jackson first down reception–where it looks like his foot just barely kicked the pylon before stepping out of bounds– never happened. They never replayed it, never discussed it, and, when Holmgren was frothing at the mouth about it, we pretended he was talking about the earlier pass interference penalty.
The game has clearly passed us by.
What exactly is wrong with horse collaring someone down? If there’s no face mask involved, its perfectly legal.
When was I ever good?
NFL put that rule in last year. It was direct result of Roy Williams from the cowboys ripping about 5 guys knees out last year with the horse collar tackel.
I should stick to baseball.
That sure looked like Corey Patterson running, not Pierre. You could tell because he overslid the man hole. (I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’)
Andy, you need much better SuperBowl parties. To pay such close attention to a game in this level of detail (missed holds, consecutive uncalled offsides) without having money or a pyacheck tied to it is just wrong. Next year, get a case of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, some Costco 4 layer chocolate cake, a bag of carrots, some spinach dip and an deep dish pizza. Then, have the game on as background noise. Much more relaxing.
More European newspapers are printing cartoons depicting prophet Muhammad causing fury across the Muslim world. If they don’t like that cartoon, they aren’t going to like my Knock Knock joke. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Muhammad. Muhammad who? Last year’s Super Bowl I was so drunk, I couldn’t have been mo’ hammad.â€Â
This would have been much funnier had you told us tales of funny things your friends House, J-Bug and Sal said during the game.
Hack.
#9. Thanks. The NFL always has about a dozen of these rule changes every year. I watch a lot of games without the sound, so I’m sure it was explained.
Someone just told me that the head slap was outlawed. Outrageous.
I suck. Bad.
Not bad bad as me.
Randle-El will be playing for us next year.
Bill loved your Super Bowl diary. What a bunch of unreadable garbage.
7:14– Well, the new Mobile ESPN commercial just broke the record for most second-tier athletes in one ad: Torii Hunter, Lisa Leslie, Stephon Marbury, Baron Davis, Jim Edmonds, Juan Pierre, David Wells, a golfer/bowler/race car driver/sprinter/long jumper/fly fisher I couldn’t recognize, and my favorite one of all … A’s pitcher Houston Street. Where was Dr. John? He couldn’t have made an appearance?
The super bowl this year was in Detroit
Mo Pete, Mateen and I sat at Ford Field watching the Steelers win Super Bowl XL, 34-17.
“He was bushy chewing out Leavy for the bad call”
Guilty as charged, I’m bushy.
BC, if you’re referring to the Bears-Lions game late last year where Berrian’s TD wasn’t allowed, the ref was Terry Macaulay. Ironically or fittingly, Macaulay did get the Super Bowl assignment 6 or so weeks later.
If you’re referring to a different Bears-Lions incident, that may have been the game where Fox had Eugene Levy reffing the game in a cross-eyed crossover promo for one of their offerings. Contrary to popular opinion, Levy can’t see well without his glasses.
Will Lunardi still be sticking with Illinois after Penn State punked them in Champagne-Urbana? And what does it say for Illini students when the storm the court after thinking they beat Penn St. only to find out that the 3 was a little too late and they really lost.
Can there be a lower point for a student body than storming the court after you think you pulled off a miracle to beat Penn St. at home… when you’re a ranked team and were in the NCAA Championship game last year? Wow…
Despite Pitt’s rough week losing on the road to two good programs (the #1 team and a team that beat Duke when they were #1), we were 37 points better than PSU at home. What does that say about how the Big East compares to the Big Ten?
Jay Bilas was on the radio the other night talking about when it’s OK to rush the court, since it’s happening way too often these days.
He contends that these are the circumstances where it’s OK:
1) The home team beats the number one team in the country, regardless of how high the home team is ranked
2) An unranked team beats a top ten team.
3) You win a game on a last second shot, especially a shot that is still sailing through the air as the buzzer expires.
Cut the Krush some slack since they thought it was #3.
Besides Cubs Fan in PA what would you know about having a team in the title game?
If that was Jock Jones and not Tori Hunter, then that definitly was not Juan Pierre in a Cubbie uni. It’s not like anyone here at the mothership cares about those losers or the teams they play on, but how in the hell would we get a clip of Juan Pierre stealing bases in a Cubs uniform when he hasn’t suited up once in the jeresy yet? If you guys were so excited to see someone in a Cubs uni while there was a championship game going on than maybe you shouldn’t have choked with 5 outs to go in 03′. Damn did I just go there?
For the last time. That was not a choke. It was a complete and utter collapse.
Cub Fan in PA,
I’m an Illinois fan but you’re right. Fans and players alike don’t know what the hell they’re doing anymore. When a ranked team beats Penn State at home on a last second shot, they’d be better off putting their heds down and just getting the hell off the court. For fans to take to the court after such a win is just plain embarrassing. I’m almost (ALMOST) happy the idiots got pimped when the call was reversed.
Reminds me of a Bear game I was at in the late 1980s. The Bears were up 28-0 and just before halftime a guy for Tampa caught a TD pass. Instead of just getting his butt back to the bench and get in on planning how his team was going to get its ass kicked up and down the field for the next 30 minutes, this idiot takes off his helmet and poses in the endzone for about 10 seconds. Just embarrassing. No concept of when you celebrate and when you don’t.
im sorry you were too stupid to get accepted into U of I. i really am. No, wait. I’m not. douchebag
Wrong again IR #10
Every game for us is the equivalent of LaTroy in the 9th for the Cubs….
except both of our fans don’t have 50,000 bars to hit up after the game.
I am on de berge of leeding min team to win dee Series Carribe. Can I get son lobe fron jou guys?
I found it amusing to watch the crowd during the Stones’ halftime “performance”. When the camera angle permitted it, you could see the paying audience in the stands quietly enduring it, while the paid audience on the field went wild. You just can’t beat choreographed fun.
Hey, Bruce W., congratulations on your title game that you coached back in April. They’re fun. I’ve even managed to win a couple of them, even vanquishing the evil Jimmy Johnson, 1980s college football’s answer to Roy Williams.
Besides when our fans rush the field of play, they take the goalposts with them!
Usually Joe you’re the one rushing the field, chasing the refs down the tunnel and still not sure what the score was.
Hey Joe,
If a whistle had been blown when Sean May ran over me to score, or when Sean May hit me in the arm while I was trying to get a loose ball, or when Sean May pushed me to get a rebound that UNC eventually scored on, maybe Bruce would’ve been celebrating after that game.
I may be in the CBA now, but at least I don’t depend on Depends.
Git over here, Powell, you punk and I’ll teach you a lesson or two! I shoulda had another national title in 1973 but a bunch of writers voted Texas better than us! And I coached the best team in the country in 1994 but again we were jobbed by the writers! So don’t talk to me about hose jobs!
Hell, I’ve forgotten more about lousy college officials than you’ll ever know!
JoePa, you’re right, you did get jobbed in ’94. Roger Powell is right, too, though – those same officials refereed the Super Bowl this year, I think.
Rosenthal is reporting that I’m close to signing to a one-year, $525,000 contract with Arizona. I plan on blowing the money on a used Chevy Cavalier and Slim Jims.
#30 – I hate to play this card, but I’m going to U Chicago Law next year. Talk more, please.
I could’ve gotten into U I by vomiting on my application and sending my test scores. I’m not knocking it as a school in any way by saying that. It’s about as good of a state school as you could find. I’m just saying you’re dead wrong there.
And Andy – I’m not buying Bilas’ #3 reason. Mostly because I don’t buy anything Bilas says, but I think that the opponent has to still factor in somewhere. Difference of opinion, I suppose. I’d maybe compromise and say if it were a rivalry game. Then all bets are off, I think, on a last second shot. I also loved how they trotted Bilas out for his 5 minutes of softballs about Duke and officials’ bias tonight on PTI before the Duke/UNC game. You may have a tough time proving it… but it’s true, it’s damn true.
And about title games – well, I know about Big East Tournament ones… that has to count for a little.
I suck.
You really want to tell drunken college kids how to celebrate?
Please, call me U of C.
We were the National Champions for 1973. Beat two #1 teams that season, the defending National Champion USC Trojans and the Alabama Crimson Tide in the Sugar Bowl.
Wheee! Cheer, Cheer to Old Notre Dame!
Although Joe doesn’t molest boys, I bet he meant the 1972-73 season.
#33 qwit eempersunachting me.
Who gives a shitabout Notre Dame?
No. 48, I know Roy Williams could give a shit about North Carolina, but I give a shit about Notre Dame. Maybe my defense lawyer will come from Notre Dame.
Oh, and if Cardinal George knew I was maybe getting my rocks off by molesting boys a full year before the shit really hit the fan, is he guilty of child endangerment by not notifying DCFS or by not removing me from the ministry?
Oh well.