Milwaukee: Dave Bush 2-1, 3.54 ERA
Cubs: Greggie, 4-0, 0.99 ERA
224 Comments
Todd Walker
on April 28, 2006 at 11:42 am
Why am I not playing?
Todd Walker
on April 28, 2006 at 11:42 am
Wait, I guess I am.
MLB.tv
on April 28, 2006 at 11:45 am
When does my feed start?
Pissed (read: drunk) Aussie
on April 28, 2006 at 11:51 am
Do I stay up for this game? It’s a quarter to 4:00 am right now and I can’t decide. Maddux’s greatness, or my bed? To make matters worse, my father, a Brewer’s fan is at the game, barracking against the Cubs…
Drunk in Korea
on April 28, 2006 at 11:55 am
I feel your pain, Aussie. Although its only 3:00 AM here.
I think I’m going to choose Maddux.
Drunk at work
on April 28, 2006 at 11:58 am
It’s 12:58 p.m. here and I’ve decided to watch the game.
Pissed Aussie
on April 28, 2006 at 12:03 pm
What’s the wind at Wrigley? If it’s blowing out, I’m going to bed. If it’s blowing in, I’ll struggle through a few innings, with the help of a few beers.
Felix Pie
on April 28, 2006 at 12:04 pm
C. Muskrat says I was “born in La Romana, a city that has produced 13 major-leaguers, including former Cubs pitcher Antonio Alfonseca.”
Does this mean I have extra digits?
Muskrat Vs. Marshall
on April 28, 2006 at 12:05 pm
MLB.com: When you’re on the plane, do you listen to an iPod or read a book?
Marshall: The iPod or the PSP [Play Station Portable]. I play games against Matt Murton — usually baseball. We’re in a seven-game series and it’s even right now.
Felix Pie
on April 28, 2006 at 12:07 pm
“Pie” is Spanish for “foot.” Dude, do I have an extra foot?
Pissed Aussie
on April 28, 2006 at 12:12 pm
I’ve been to La Romana, DR. It’s a shit town, but it is quite close to Bayahibe, which is a beautiful fishing villiage, with excellent SCUBA diving and snorkeling and the people are absolutely wonderful.
Mike D.
on April 28, 2006 at 12:12 pm
Is Cub Killer Bill Hall in the lineup?
They’re not as annoying as the Reds, but the Brewers make me ill.
#4, and #5. If you can get the game, watch it till you pass out. I was in Thailand last week and only saw one ballgame (Braves and Phillies) on ESPN. Are you getting the game online or off the dish?
Drunk in Korea
on April 28, 2006 at 12:14 pm
I’m getting it online, but the MLB.tv feed is a Brewers/FSN boradcast. I think I’m going to switch to audio.
Game Info
on April 28, 2006 at 12:15 pm
Umpires: HP: Randy Marsh. 1B: Angel Hernandez. 2B: Hunter Wendelstedt. 3B: Sam Holbrook.
Weather: 64 degrees, sunny.
Wind: 13 mph, In from RF.
Pissed Aussie
on April 28, 2006 at 12:16 pm
MLB’s Gamecast. Foxtel (Rupert Murdoch’s channel) costs to bloody much.
#15
on April 28, 2006 at 12:17 pm
And the visibility?
#11
on April 28, 2006 at 12:17 pm
When you say the people are wonderful, do you mean as in they have a wonderful number of digits?
No, seriously, visiting a country like the Dominican Republic makes you apreciate what it means to live in a country like the US, and it makes you realise what is wrong with the people in the US. Dominicans will bend over backwards for someone that can barely speak their language and are only there for the beaches. They make me sad that Sosa was the face of their country,
JJ Hardy
on April 28, 2006 at 12:23 pm
Show of hands…
How many of you thought I was black before I made the show?
Doubles For Everyone!
on April 28, 2006 at 1:00 pm
And a box of those naked lady tees.
The Kookaburras
on April 28, 2006 at 1:00 pm
We are laughing. That means the sun is about to come up Down Under. What am I doing following a baseball game. Oh, right, my wife is on the other side of the world right now!
cabron
on April 28, 2006 at 1:01 pm
warm as the fury of my feests
Bunt for a hit
on April 28, 2006 at 1:01 pm
Fear Me!
Jeanine Pettibone (David St. Hubbins' girlfriend
on April 28, 2006 at 1:01 pm
The Cubs are hitting in Doubly today.
1-2-3
on April 28, 2006 at 1:02 pm
Hits in a row, that is.
Ron Ce
on April 28, 2006 at 1:02 pm
There is no stopping me. I will bang more chicks than Paul.
mlbtv
on April 28, 2006 at 1:03 pm
so now i’m WGN. Wuh?
#91
on April 28, 2006 at 1:03 pm
That’s not a monkey, that’s me!
The Cubs
on April 28, 2006 at 1:03 pm
Bunting for a hit? Taking third on a single? Are we plaing real baseball?
Howard Cosell
on April 28, 2006 at 1:03 pm
#85, you should see how fast that little monkey can run! What do you mean I’m fired?
Brian
on April 28, 2006 at 1:03 pm
Give Dusty credit for moving Murton up to the five spot. He could have stuck with the whole left right left right bs from last year.
#98, I thought that was an Aussie secret. Yes, all movies that take place in the jungle utilise me as a monkey noise. Click me to hear it…
Pat Hughes
on April 28, 2006 at 1:08 pm
It’s okay, Matt. People with plate patience strike out looking sometimes.
#105
on April 28, 2006 at 1:09 pm
Jimmy said that blacks were bred to be better athletes.
Howie said “look at that monkey run” or something thereof.
Keith Hernandez said women don’t belong in the dugout (even though she is actually on the Padres staff, unbeknownst to him), but he still has a job.
Go figure.
109
on April 28, 2006 at 1:09 pm
I don’t know what you just made me click, but the monitor grew hands and started flinging feces at me.
Ron Santo
on April 28, 2006 at 1:09 pm
Uh, I got a fax here………..
Howard Cosell
on April 28, 2006 at 1:10 pm
No the monkey comment was a mistake made by yours truly, although it was not racist in the least. Jimmy the Greek, on the other hand, was a racist bastard.
Korey Koskie's MLB photo
on April 28, 2006 at 1:10 pm
Crack cocaine anyone?
Andy
on April 28, 2006 at 1:11 pm
I love games on Comcast. It’s like a junior high AV club got rights to the games.
Stewie Griffin
on April 28, 2006 at 1:11 pm
I know the job posting didn’t say “no Portugese,” but yyyyeah. No Portugese.
Comcast picture on MLB.TV
on April 28, 2006 at 1:11 pm
I suck.
Medieval rulers of Venice
on April 28, 2006 at 1:12 pm
We are called doges, Hank, not “doggies”.
109
on April 28, 2006 at 1:12 pm
that makes a good background for baseball. if bill veeck were around we could get a section of those cut little monkeys at wrigley
Junior High AV Club
on April 28, 2006 at 1:12 pm
Come on, we’re not THAT bad.
#113
on April 28, 2006 at 1:12 pm
I am right up there with Steve Stone’s “How’s the visibility?” Priceless, when used correctly.
Greggie with another gem of an inning
on April 28, 2006 at 1:13 pm
I would kiss him where he pees.
Damian Miller
on April 28, 2006 at 1:14 pm
I’m a big reason for the Cubs 2003 Central Division Championship. With talent like mine, that team should’ve been good for YEARS to come. Dusty was blessed to have had me on his roster.
Keith Hernandez
on April 28, 2006 at 1:14 pm
I was joking! Those who don’t know that obviously lack a sense of humor. Hey, I’m Keith Hernandez, the 1979 NL MVP. I can say pretty much whatever I want.
Greg Maddux
on April 28, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Considering the way I’m pitching, don’t head off to the bathroom to take a quick pee while the Cubs are in the field. You’ll miss the entire half-inning.
Neifi/Blanco/Maddux
on April 28, 2006 at 1:16 pm
At least they have Greg to protect them in the order.
RE: 120
on April 28, 2006 at 1:16 pm
Dammit! They’re not monkeys! They’re birds! Crazy ass birds!
Lassie Edmonds
on April 28, 2006 at 1:18 pm
#108, now I can tell you all about female doggies… collies in particular.
#123
on April 28, 2006 at 1:18 pm
So friggin’ disgusting. But funny as hell.
kurt
on April 28, 2006 at 1:18 pm
That Greg Maddux is a pitching maniac. Maybe 30-year-old Greg travelled into the future and is pitching this year in place of 40-year-old Greg.
Hank White
on April 28, 2006 at 1:18 pm
I got the trots, mang. I no stand up there at plate long time.
Does anyone remember Ron Ce’s first big-league blast?
1-2-3
on April 28, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Straight hits, again, that is.
Brewers Bullpen
on April 28, 2006 at 1:36 pm
We’d better get ready.
Ron Ce
on April 28, 2006 at 1:36 pm
Chicks dig the long ball
Chip Caray
on April 28, 2006 at 1:37 pm
Honesty compels me to admit that Dave Bush reaching base and running around the bases last inning affected his mound performance the next frame.
.200 BA
on April 28, 2006 at 1:38 pm
Will Jock be above me or below me after this at-bat?
Brian
on April 28, 2006 at 1:40 pm
Jock is 0/9 against lefties this year. The Cubs have no right handed reserve outfielder (unless you count Jerry the lesser). That might cause a problem down the road.
Hit and Run
on April 28, 2006 at 1:40 pm
Hey, Dusty, wtf are you thinking using me with Jock and his sub-.200 stick at the plate? Not to mention speedy Murton on the path. Ugh.
Jock
on April 28, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Is there a third option?
Mike D.
on April 28, 2006 at 1:43 pm
Things we’ve seen this week that we wouldn’t have the last two years:
–Coming back against a hapless opponent at home after the 7th inning. And not just by tying the game, but by blowing the doors open and finishing it off right away.
–Keeping a team from chipping away at the lead by immediately equaling their run total from their most recent inning.
Jock has never hit lefties, in any year. A good manager would actually know this and give JHJ a start in right today. Or even Restovich. Or perhaps a beer vendor.
Damian Miller
on April 28, 2006 at 1:46 pm
Where’s that Cub Killer app at again?
Aussie Aards Joke
on April 28, 2006 at 1:48 pm
Aardsma is Australian for “prank pulled on you by your mates after binge drinking on cheap American ale.”
177
on April 28, 2006 at 1:49 pm
Hitting a bases empty double isn’t exactly a Cub-killing manuever, unless your name is Juan Pierre.
Applause
on April 28, 2006 at 1:50 pm
For Maddux. We keep expecting him to have one of his “bad” outings from the past two years, and he won’t. Today may have been his worst game of ’06, and it was still a Quality Start. Bravo.
179
on April 28, 2006 at 1:50 pm
Or if Murton is trying to steal.
Greg Maddux
on April 28, 2006 at 1:51 pm
Damn. Took a little longer than I had hoped.
Hope I can still make my 3:30 tee time at Chick Evans.
Greggie
on April 28, 2006 at 1:54 pm
I’m a wrap today
#165
on April 28, 2006 at 1:54 pm
point taken but TODAY’s pitcher throws with his right arm.
Jock
on April 28, 2006 at 1:55 pm
A 2 for 3 day?! What the what?! I’m not supposed to do that.
Wayne Messmer
on April 28, 2006 at 1:56 pm
Brave!
Neifi
on April 28, 2006 at 1:56 pm
A 2 and 2 count? This is as many pitches as usually I see in entire games!
I bet some kids in the parking lot I could throw out at least 2 guy out whenever Dusty manages.
Dusty Baker
on April 28, 2006 at 1:57 pm
What do you mean I’m supposed to hit-and-run with a quality hitter at the plate? Screw you, dude. I’m the Rally Killer today!
Mike D.
on April 28, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Thanks Wayne.
Friday games aren’t at 2:20 anymore you know.
Dusty
on April 28, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Dear Diary,
Today I had my team attempt to execute two hit-and-run plays, ignoring that in both instances I used two base runners with only average speed and two hitters who suck at making contact. Naturally, I’m expecting a contract extension within the next week.
Henry Blanco
on April 28, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Three at bats, three pitches, three outs.
Cubs Bullpen
on April 28, 2006 at 1:59 pm
What’s this? We always get the day off when Greg starts.
Henry Blanco
on April 28, 2006 at 1:59 pm
Squeeze mah nipples, bitches.
Damon Berryhill
on April 28, 2006 at 2:00 pm
Hank’s making even me look good today.
The Comcast Jr. High AV Squad
on April 28, 2006 at 2:14 pm
We are apparently running the server here also.
Tyler Madsen
on April 28, 2006 at 2:24 pm
Thanks Wayne.
Friday games aren’t at 2:20 anymore you know.
Tyler Madsen
on April 28, 2006 at 2:26 pm
For Maddux. We keep expecting him to have one of his “bad†outings from the past two years, and he won’t. Today may have been his worst game of ‘06, and it was still a Quality Start. Bravo.
Tyler Madsen
on April 28, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Jock has never hit lefties, in any year. A good manager would actually know this and give JHJ a start in right today. Or even Restovich. Or perhaps a beer vendor.
Tyler Madsen
on April 28, 2006 at 2:29 pm
Aardsma is Australian for “prank pulled on you by your mates after binge drinking on cheap American ale.â€Â
Tyler Madsen
on April 28, 2006 at 2:31 pm
In the audience Saturday at the Final Four, among the 46,000 hoop junkies, sales executives, movie producers, parents, contest winners, beer guzzlers, hip-hop stars and lucky locals who knew somebody who knew somebody, there were two former stars for Michigan State, Mateen Cleaves and Jason Richardson.
They sat in the stands, in their MSU clothing, and rooted on their alma mater. They were teammates in the magical 2000 season, when the Spartans won it all. Both now play in the NBA, Richardson for Golden State, Cleaves for Seattle.
Tyler Madsen
on April 28, 2006 at 2:35 pm
No, seriously, visiting a country like the Dominican Republic makes you apreciate what it means to live in a country like the US, and it makes you realise what is wrong with the people in the US. Dominicans will bend over backwards for someone that can barely speak their language and are only there for the beaches. They make me sad that Sosa was the face of their country,
Cum Dempster
on April 28, 2006 at 2:47 pm
Glad Dusty didnt use me in a non save situation today.
JD
on April 28, 2006 at 2:47 pm
HUH?
By the way, Jock showin’ his “skillz” is always “tight,” yo.
Dan The Fan
on April 28, 2006 at 2:56 pm
Ending the game on 6 Ks. That’s fun..
Weeee..
Greggie
on April 28, 2006 at 2:58 pm
Let’s see. 5 and 0. 1.35 ERA. That’s NL pitcher of the month, bitches.
Arroyo
on April 28, 2006 at 3:02 pm
Do I get an honorable mention greggie?
Greggie
on April 28, 2006 at 3:28 pm
No. you had a shitty start against the Cardinals.
Tyler Madsen
on April 28, 2006 at 3:30 pm
Ending the game on 6 Ks. That’s fun..
Weeee..
Andy
on April 28, 2006 at 3:53 pm
Who is Tyler Madsen and why does he post so much?
Jayson Blair
on April 28, 2006 at 4:33 pm
Tyler Madsen is a punk bitch.
Tyler Madsen
on April 28, 2006 at 5:14 pm
Who is Kent Mercker and why is he calling the press box?
‘Add Rusch to the list of Cubs’ pitchers who pitch better with Hank behind the plate than Michael Barrett. That list includes…every Cubs’ pitcher’
Except, of course, Greg Maddux.
ERA with Michael Barrett: 0.99 (that’s less than one run every 9 innings)
ERA with Henry ‘Boom Boom’ Blanco: 3.33
This just goes to prove the old saying true: If you give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of keyboards they would all be better writers than Andy Dolan.
ready the horses Ohman, we’re headed to the Hawkeye state.
Big Z
on April 30, 2006 at 2:37 pm
Got room for one more Glendon?
Bulls Fan
on April 30, 2006 at 7:23 pm
I expect a Bulls heavy dose tomorrow. We need to ignore most of this weekend.
That is if we get a dose…
Tyler Madsen
on May 1, 2006 at 9:06 am
‘Add Rusch to the list of Cubs’ pitchers who pitch better with Hank behind the plate than Michael Barrett. That list includes…every Cubs’ pitcher’
Except, of course, Greg Maddux.
ERA with Michael Barrett: 0.99 (that’s less than one run every 9 innings)
ERA with Henry ‘Boom Boom’ Blanco: 3.33
This just goes to prove the old saying true: If you give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of keyboards they would all be better writers than Andy Dolan.
are you fing kidding me?
on May 1, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Last baseball season: 5 doses a week, and if not, it was unquestioned that there would be one on monday
This baseball season: A weekly update if we are lucky.
This used to be the second place I clicked after espn.com everyday, but now I find myself forgetting about it more and more with each Doseless day…..
Todd Donoho
on May 1, 2006 at 4:43 pm
Take a hike #221.
Tyler Madsen
on May 2, 2006 at 7:58 am
Last baseball season: 5 doses a week, and if not, it was unquestioned that there would be one on monday
This baseball season: A weekly update if we are lucky.
This used to be the second place I clicked after espn.com everyday, but now I find myself forgetting about it more and more with each Doseless day…..
Why am I not playing?
Wait, I guess I am.
When does my feed start?
Do I stay up for this game? It’s a quarter to 4:00 am right now and I can’t decide. Maddux’s greatness, or my bed? To make matters worse, my father, a Brewer’s fan is at the game, barracking against the Cubs…
I feel your pain, Aussie. Although its only 3:00 AM here.
I think I’m going to choose Maddux.
It’s 12:58 p.m. here and I’ve decided to watch the game.
What’s the wind at Wrigley? If it’s blowing out, I’m going to bed. If it’s blowing in, I’ll struggle through a few innings, with the help of a few beers.
C. Muskrat says I was “born in La Romana, a city that has produced 13 major-leaguers, including former Cubs pitcher Antonio Alfonseca.”
Does this mean I have extra digits?
MLB.com: When you’re on the plane, do you listen to an iPod or read a book?
Marshall: The iPod or the PSP [Play Station Portable]. I play games against Matt Murton — usually baseball. We’re in a seven-game series and it’s even right now.
“Pie” is Spanish for “foot.” Dude, do I have an extra foot?
I’ve been to La Romana, DR. It’s a shit town, but it is quite close to Bayahibe, which is a beautiful fishing villiage, with excellent SCUBA diving and snorkeling and the people are absolutely wonderful.
Is Cub Killer Bill Hall in the lineup?
They’re not as annoying as the Reds, but the Brewers make me ill.
#4, and #5. If you can get the game, watch it till you pass out. I was in Thailand last week and only saw one ballgame (Braves and Phillies) on ESPN. Are you getting the game online or off the dish?
I’m getting it online, but the MLB.tv feed is a Brewers/FSN boradcast. I think I’m going to switch to audio.
Umpires: HP: Randy Marsh. 1B: Angel Hernandez. 2B: Hunter Wendelstedt. 3B: Sam Holbrook.
Weather: 64 degrees, sunny.
Wind: 13 mph, In from RF.
MLB’s Gamecast. Foxtel (Rupert Murdoch’s channel) costs to bloody much.
And the visibility?
When you say the people are wonderful, do you mean as in they have a wonderful number of digits?
Is Hunter Wendelstedt still fat?
Like a Christmas turkey.
Where’s Wayne?
I should have gone to the ballpark for lunch.
No, seriously, visiting a country like the Dominican Republic makes you apreciate what it means to live in a country like the US, and it makes you realise what is wrong with the people in the US. Dominicans will bend over backwards for someone that can barely speak their language and are only there for the beaches. They make me sad that Sosa was the face of their country,
Show of hands…
How many of you thought I was black before I made the show?
Early indications are that it’ll be me today.
Not a great start.
Hey, the ump actually DOES know what I am!!
I haven’t made life interesting enough for you guys lately. Watch me pull a rabbit out of a hat!
Bases juiced in the first inning…
Will I go over 1.0 or under .99 in the first inning today?
Post #24 is DYNOMITE!!!!!
No sweat.
How ’bout that?
Nothin’ up my sleeve … PRESTO!
(No doubt about it. I gotta get another hat.)
With the way I have been pitching, just to keep things interesting I spotted them 3 runners.
Now here’s something we hope you’ll really like.
Fear me, with bases loaded. Oh…wait…
OK, I’m hooked now.
Howdy!
Duuuude….
looks like the gang’s all here!
We’re setting to find the 1 through 3 batters in the Cub lineup. They seem to have disappeared.
says it all
At what point will I not chuckle when I see that picture of Prior holding the infamous “towel”? I predict never.
I’m hoping we can wax Bush. That’d be slick.
Bet none of you thought of that one.
Do you need to off yourself?
ever notice i never skip or pause during commercials?
Let’s go, Cubs. Or something.
Why is it that I happen sometimes?
know any good leather bars in the area?
My bat is heating up. Cabrones.
yes
am I the equivalent of a female dodge?
I’m up to .219 now, female doges!
Alright, Red Menace. Nice double.
I am the Jesus of hitting. Worship me!
Runner in scoring position? You just KNOW I’m going to get a hit. It’s what I do.
Doubles in a row, that is.
Neifi,
Would it kill you to look at more than one pitch, would it?
if only i was in the field when i hit that, i would have played it for a triple
Two pitches, two outs! Are we not the best rally-killing combo that the majors have seen since … well, since last June on the north side of Chicago?
Female doges? No entiendo.
Female doges? No entiendo.
Neifi is me.
means more like motherfucker
You mean us?
I had to go run around and deliver stuff at work, and I come back to see the score is 2-0 and ask “who hit the 2-run bomb?”
Turns out it was 3 doubles… But doesn’t that say something about the past incarnations of the team if I’m conditioned to think like that?
I just took as many pitches as the last five cubs combined.
We are a fearsome duo.
Maddux saw 7 pitches in that at bat. Just plain ridiculous.
wait, my pitching coach is related to the opposing starter? so everything he told me to do today falls under backwards-day rules?
Or asshole.
i mean dave
The rally killing continues on the wraparound.
Who saw me when I hit that double?
care 2 step outside?
Yeah, if you’re batting below the Mendoza line, No Posing!!
I wouldn’t wipe my ass with one.
So, how old am I, really? 35? 42?
Guys I promise to get on base today. PSYCHE!
God, do I work fast or what?
I wasn’t calling you an asshole, cabron!
#75, sure no problem. I need a break from my day. Not sure why you want to step outside however. Has it gotten warmer?
Slaky hates me more than any Brewer, hands down. He thinks I am gigantic pole smoker.
#75, sorry, my reading comprehension sucks. Has it gotten warmer out though?
Juan Pierre is me.
Greggie is Man in the Yellow Hat.
How in fun am I hitting over .300?
Maddux sure is pitching pretty well so far.
i keel all you cabrones
How you like me now, bitches?
And a box of those naked lady tees.
We are laughing. That means the sun is about to come up Down Under. What am I doing following a baseball game. Oh, right, my wife is on the other side of the world right now!
warm as the fury of my feests
Fear Me!
The Cubs are hitting in Doubly today.
Hits in a row, that is.
There is no stopping me. I will bang more chicks than Paul.
so now i’m WGN. Wuh?
That’s not a monkey, that’s me!
Bunting for a hit? Taking third on a single? Are we plaing real baseball?
#85, you should see how fast that little monkey can run! What do you mean I’m fired?
Give Dusty credit for moving Murton up to the five spot. He could have stuck with the whole left right left right bs from last year.
See, even I can perform in a Contract Year.
i would have jujitsued kotsky on that play.
MIERDA!!!
#100, I thought that was Jimmy the Greek.
I didnt really just strike out looking did I? Something isnt right here.
HC said that about the monkey running. Jimmy the Greek was about leg strength and slaves.
I will break .100 today, and you female doggies will love me for it.
#98, I thought that was an Aussie secret. Yes, all movies that take place in the jungle utilise me as a monkey noise. Click me to hear it…
It’s okay, Matt. People with plate patience strike out looking sometimes.
Jimmy said that blacks were bred to be better athletes.
Howie said “look at that monkey run” or something thereof.
Keith Hernandez said women don’t belong in the dugout (even though she is actually on the Padres staff, unbeknownst to him), but he still has a job.
Go figure.
I don’t know what you just made me click, but the monitor grew hands and started flinging feces at me.
Uh, I got a fax here………..
No the monkey comment was a mistake made by yours truly, although it was not racist in the least. Jimmy the Greek, on the other hand, was a racist bastard.
Crack cocaine anyone?
I love games on Comcast. It’s like a junior high AV club got rights to the games.
I know the job posting didn’t say “no Portugese,” but yyyyeah. No Portugese.
I suck.
We are called doges, Hank, not “doggies”.
that makes a good background for baseball. if bill veeck were around we could get a section of those cut little monkeys at wrigley
Come on, we’re not THAT bad.
I am right up there with Steve Stone’s “How’s the visibility?” Priceless, when used correctly.
I would kiss him where he pees.
I’m a big reason for the Cubs 2003 Central Division Championship. With talent like mine, that team should’ve been good for YEARS to come. Dusty was blessed to have had me on his roster.
I was joking! Those who don’t know that obviously lack a sense of humor. Hey, I’m Keith Hernandez, the 1979 NL MVP. I can say pretty much whatever I want.
Considering the way I’m pitching, don’t head off to the bathroom to take a quick pee while the Cubs are in the field. You’ll miss the entire half-inning.
At least they have Greg to protect them in the order.
Dammit! They’re not monkeys! They’re birds! Crazy ass birds!
#108, now I can tell you all about female doggies… collies in particular.
So friggin’ disgusting. But funny as hell.
That Greg Maddux is a pitching maniac. Maybe 30-year-old Greg travelled into the future and is pitching this year in place of 40-year-old Greg.
I got the trots, mang. I no stand up there at plate long time.
Hank’s making me look pretty good right now.
Anyone got any nt-shaving jokes ready to go yet?
Sitting in the old gum tree.
I’ve seen more pitches in each AB then Neifi and Hank will see all game.
The sign says “No Homers.” We’re allowed to have one.
I have to work this guy by hitting a half-dozen foul balls per AB just to make up for the two swing-happy clowns ahead of me in the order.
So that’s what I look like.
#132, #133 Watch your friggin’ mouths, or you’ll be crapping your teeth out for weeks, if you get my meaning. Female dogs.
Are quickly entering Aardsma territory.
Me too #133.
Q: What does an Aussie say when he gets an Aardsma?
A: Who the hell knows?
How did y’all like my banjo playing in *Deliverance*?
142 and I used to hang out. With our wangs out. High five!
Am I saving Maddux? Or does he not need me today?
Basehits to the pitcher start rallies…
Is looking like all Greggie is gonna be able to go today. Nearing 70 pitches already.
Again?
Q: How do you know an Aussie recently received an Aardsma.
A: Because he’ll limp around and act crikey!
Uh-oh. Is my deal up, or just my pitches?
Where can I get my Cub Killer application?
Not anymore.
If I was catching, Greg would go 9 easy.
How’d ya like that DP turn, Capt. Tootpick?
Am I the only one who winces every time a ball is thrown Todd Walker’s way?
What a turn! Get off Neifi’s ass you lacktards!
Double play!
Maddux’ sub-1.0 ERA was cool while it lasted.
Boo YEAH!!!
See that bunt hit by Juan Pierre? You would have if we were showing the game.
I feel a need, a need to make the baseball bleed! … by uh, hitting a long homerun … … *cough*
pop
G’Day, mate!!!
Does anyone remember Ron Ce’s first big-league blast?
Straight hits, again, that is.
We’d better get ready.
Chicks dig the long ball
Honesty compels me to admit that Dave Bush reaching base and running around the bases last inning affected his mound performance the next frame.
Will Jock be above me or below me after this at-bat?
Jock is 0/9 against lefties this year. The Cubs have no right handed reserve outfielder (unless you count Jerry the lesser). That might cause a problem down the road.
Hey, Dusty, wtf are you thinking using me with Jock and his sub-.200 stick at the plate? Not to mention speedy Murton on the path. Ugh.
Is there a third option?
Things we’ve seen this week that we wouldn’t have the last two years:
–Coming back against a hapless opponent at home after the 7th inning. And not just by tying the game, but by blowing the doors open and finishing it off right away.
–Keeping a team from chipping away at the lead by immediately equaling their run total from their most recent inning.
May 5, 2005 at Brewers
3rd inning off G Glover 0 on, 1 Out
Jock has never hit lefties, in any year. A good manager would actually know this and give JHJ a start in right today. Or even Restovich. Or perhaps a beer vendor.
Where’s that Cub Killer app at again?
Aardsma is Australian for “prank pulled on you by your mates after binge drinking on cheap American ale.”
Hitting a bases empty double isn’t exactly a Cub-killing manuever, unless your name is Juan Pierre.
For Maddux. We keep expecting him to have one of his “bad” outings from the past two years, and he won’t. Today may have been his worst game of ’06, and it was still a Quality Start. Bravo.
Or if Murton is trying to steal.
Damn. Took a little longer than I had hoped.
Hope I can still make my 3:30 tee time at Chick Evans.
I’m a wrap today
point taken but TODAY’s pitcher throws with his right arm.
A 2 for 3 day?! What the what?! I’m not supposed to do that.
Brave!
A 2 and 2 count? This is as many pitches as usually I see in entire games!
I’ve got next
How am I no longer on 1st base?
Did I get picked off?
That’s ok Jock you got caught stealing.
I bet some kids in the parking lot I could throw out at least 2 guy out whenever Dusty manages.
What do you mean I’m supposed to hit-and-run with a quality hitter at the plate? Screw you, dude. I’m the Rally Killer today!
Thanks Wayne.
Friday games aren’t at 2:20 anymore you know.
Dear Diary,
Today I had my team attempt to execute two hit-and-run plays, ignoring that in both instances I used two base runners with only average speed and two hitters who suck at making contact. Naturally, I’m expecting a contract extension within the next week.
Three at bats, three pitches, three outs.
What’s this? We always get the day off when Greg starts.
Squeeze mah nipples, bitches.
Hank’s making even me look good today.
We are apparently running the server here also.
Thanks Wayne.
Friday games aren’t at 2:20 anymore you know.
For Maddux. We keep expecting him to have one of his “bad†outings from the past two years, and he won’t. Today may have been his worst game of ‘06, and it was still a Quality Start. Bravo.
Jock has never hit lefties, in any year. A good manager would actually know this and give JHJ a start in right today. Or even Restovich. Or perhaps a beer vendor.
Aardsma is Australian for “prank pulled on you by your mates after binge drinking on cheap American ale.â€Â
In the audience Saturday at the Final Four, among the 46,000 hoop junkies, sales executives, movie producers, parents, contest winners, beer guzzlers, hip-hop stars and lucky locals who knew somebody who knew somebody, there were two former stars for Michigan State, Mateen Cleaves and Jason Richardson.
They sat in the stands, in their MSU clothing, and rooted on their alma mater. They were teammates in the magical 2000 season, when the Spartans won it all. Both now play in the NBA, Richardson for Golden State, Cleaves for Seattle.
No, seriously, visiting a country like the Dominican Republic makes you apreciate what it means to live in a country like the US, and it makes you realise what is wrong with the people in the US. Dominicans will bend over backwards for someone that can barely speak their language and are only there for the beaches. They make me sad that Sosa was the face of their country,
Glad Dusty didnt use me in a non save situation today.
HUH?
By the way, Jock showin’ his “skillz” is always “tight,” yo.
Ending the game on 6 Ks. That’s fun..
Weeee..
Let’s see. 5 and 0. 1.35 ERA. That’s NL pitcher of the month, bitches.
Do I get an honorable mention greggie?
No. you had a shitty start against the Cardinals.
Ending the game on 6 Ks. That’s fun..
Weeee..
Who is Tyler Madsen and why does he post so much?
Tyler Madsen is a punk bitch.
Who is Kent Mercker and why is he calling the press box?
‘Add Rusch to the list of Cubs’ pitchers who pitch better with Hank behind the plate than Michael Barrett. That list includes…every Cubs’ pitcher’
Except, of course, Greg Maddux.
ERA with Michael Barrett: 0.99 (that’s less than one run every 9 innings)
ERA with Henry ‘Boom Boom’ Blanco: 3.33
This just goes to prove the old saying true: If you give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of keyboards they would all be better writers than Andy Dolan.
ready the horses Ohman, we’re headed to the Hawkeye state.
Got room for one more Glendon?
I expect a Bulls heavy dose tomorrow. We need to ignore most of this weekend.
That is if we get a dose…
‘Add Rusch to the list of Cubs’ pitchers who pitch better with Hank behind the plate than Michael Barrett. That list includes…every Cubs’ pitcher’
Except, of course, Greg Maddux.
ERA with Michael Barrett: 0.99 (that’s less than one run every 9 innings)
ERA with Henry ‘Boom Boom’ Blanco: 3.33
This just goes to prove the old saying true: If you give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of keyboards they would all be better writers than Andy Dolan.
Last baseball season: 5 doses a week, and if not, it was unquestioned that there would be one on monday
This baseball season: A weekly update if we are lucky.
This used to be the second place I clicked after espn.com everyday, but now I find myself forgetting about it more and more with each Doseless day…..
Take a hike #221.
Last baseball season: 5 doses a week, and if not, it was unquestioned that there would be one on monday
This baseball season: A weekly update if we are lucky.
This used to be the second place I clicked after espn.com everyday, but now I find myself forgetting about it more and more with each Doseless day…..
(I need to get my material from somewhere)
I don’t give a sh*t!! Screw you all!