Remember when starting pitching promised to be the calling card of the Cubs for a decade? That hasn’t really worked out, unless you live in Des Moines, and then 40 percent of the rotation rolls through town every summer on a rehab start. This year, the Cubs have given four rookies their first Major League starts. Of the four one was pretty good (Sean Marshall), one was erratic (Angel Guzman) one was laughably horrible (Jae Kuk Ryu) and yesterday? Well, let’s just say that the little fella rose to the occasion.
I’ll be the first to admit that when I heard that the Cubs were going to put Kerry Wood on the disabled list, again, and instead give his start to a woodchuck, I was a little skeptical. The only thing I really know about marmots is what I learned when the Germans put one in the bathtub with the Dude in The Big Lebowski. They’re hilarious.
Imagine my surprise then, when I found out that the pitcher was not an oversized ground squirrel, but instead Carlos Marmol, a one-time Cubs’ catching prospect who’s been showing off his filthy arsenal in a couple of cameos from the bullpen.
I was relieved to say the least.
Marmol has a funky delivery and a pretty live fastball, but the fact that he already can throw his changeup and curveball-slider thing for strikes is what gives him a fighting chance. He had the Reds’ lineup thoroughly confused yesterday. Which, when you have Jerry Narron for a manager should be a fairly common occurrence.
What I enjoy most about Carlos is that somehow every fastball he throws looks like it moves up. I know it to be an impossibility of physics, but it looks like it anyway.
Mark Prior is apparently close to making his season debut. I wish I could take credit for my prediction early in the season that it would take Prior so long to come back that Kerry Wood could come off the DL and go back on it before Mark came back, but honestly that was too obvious to brag about.
When he comes back, the Cubs’ rotation will be Zambrano, Marshall, Maddux, Marmol and Prior. Five home grown starters. Even in this morbid season that’s impressive on some level. I’m sure Andy MacPhail is having a memo drawn up to brag about that, and about Eric Hinske and Dontrelle Willis’ rookie of the year awards.
Because I haven’t been writing as frequently as I used to, some things threaten to fall between the cracks. But not this one:
Last week when the Cubs drafted Notre Dame pitcher/wide receiver Jeff Samardzjia, Dusty Baker was excited because he likes baseball players who also play football.
“I like football players as baseball players,” Baker said. “They tend to be tougher. I’ve always said the kids I like to play baseball are football players, basketball players and wrestlers, and water polo guys because they know what hard work and training is all about.
Water polo? Do we have a lot of former water polo players toiling in the big leagues right now? Which ones do you think played water polo? Guh.
Some chucklehead wrote today that the Cubs ought to dump the scoreboard and put in a DiamondVision video board. I was going to rail against this idea, but instead I thought I’d be more succinct, saving all of us a lot of time and getting my point across just as well.
Dear Mr. Eric Benderoff,
We, the hopeless, god-fearing fans of the Chicago Cubs wish to express our extreme displeasure with your notion of tearing down the Wrigley Field scoreboard. Please reconsider your position. The fact that you even thought of it in the first place just goes to prove that you are the leading asshole in the state.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to ramble incoherently about how baseball is screwing the White Sox by waiting so long to suspend Michael Barrett. First off, it’s nice to see Jay still sucks, secondly, baseball’s always slow on this stuff. Just last week they finally heard Juan Maricial’s appeal of the suspension he got for hitting John Roseboro in the head with a bat during a brawl. Get over it.
Bud reduced Maricial’s suspension to time served and had Juan pee in his coffee cup.
Ben Roethlisberger was on ESPN last winter talking about how he rides a motorcycle but doesn’t wear a helmet. In the same piece Bill Cowher said he wishes Ben would wear a helmet, but can’t “make him.” Today, Ben hit a car whilst on said motorcycle and smashed his helmetless head into the windshield. Somewhere, Jay Williams is pointing and tsking.
Never mind that Maddux was “homegrown” by me. MacFail won’t mind. Just like how he was able to hitch his wagon to another player that he didn’t draft but was able to ride to succes–Kirby Puckett.
Who dis Maricial cabron? I hit Roseboro, mang.
I have a 3rbi game with a CS to boot. But I am still Sleepy?
Give this Dose a “Harrupmh!”
Hey! A lot of my first-round picks played for the Cubs. Of course, that was after they washed out in the Twins organization.
I was saying Boo-urns.
A Big Lebowski reference and a Blazing Saddles reference in the same Dose? Bravo. Nicely done sir. Nicely done.
Andy, you talk prettier than a ten dollar whore.
“Forget about the fucking marmot!”
Andy, obvious or not, your Prior/Wood/DL prediction was still a pretty damn nice call.
I slam massive amounts of Kool-Aid, so I had them both back in late April, Prior winning 27 games, Wood winning 23 while saving 48.
To my credit, they look to be on pace for the numbers I predicted. In simulated games (you knew it was coming).
I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that this Andy cat is smarter than the average bear.
I caused a stir at Bleed Cubbie Blue today with my PooPoo steroids comments. I am also a part gay.
Which part, Will? Can I help you figure it out?
Marmot is not the preferred nomenclature dude, Marmota Monax, please.
I also can’t spell “D-e-s-i-p-i-o.”
Hey Ben, When you get out of surgery gimme a call asap!!! I’ll make you a decent offer on a good arm.
Please update the Hank White site. Its the best thing on the net.