The men’s basketball job at Illinois pays somewhere in the neighborhood of $700,000 to $900,000. That’s a pretty nice neighborhood. You get a complimentary car. You get membership in a Champaign country club. You get to try on Chief Illiniwek’s head dress. You get to do Jello shots with the Orange Krush…wait, that’s only if Larry Eustachy gets the job.

So what’s the problem? Why does nobody want this job? Bill Self decided he liked Kansas better. I’ve seen Kansas in the movies, it’s still black and white there.

Tom Crean wanted to stay in Milwaukee. I’ve been to Milwaukee, and it’s nice. But it’s still surrounded by Wisconsin.

Dana Altman wanted to stay in Omaha? Omaha?

Omaha
Somewhere in middle America
Get right to the heart of matters
It’s the heart that matters more
I think you’d better turn your ticket in
And leave your money right at the door

That’s more than an insult. It’s downright disturbing. I know people in Champaign are a self-flagellating lot in the first place. This won’t help to say the least.


Am I the only one who noticed how much a drunk Larry Eustachy looks like comedian Jeff Ross?

The nitwits who took the Eustachy pictures think they’re celebrities now.

Here’s an in-depth look at Cubs prospect Jae Kuk Ryu and his hatred for all things osprey.

What are the odds that Shawn Estes could have hit that osprey?

Intrepid reader Dennis Goodman has his own Cubs-related blog. Check it out.

Phil Rogers looks back on Lee Elia’s obscenity laced tirade in 1983. He gives some Web site where you can find the audio version. He should have sent you to desipio.com. We’ve got it right here. (You need Quicktime to hear it. Or some other program that can read mp3’s.)

Michael Haynes is cool.

If Kordell Lupus doesn’t like having a little competition, well, tough noogies.

Dusty Baker returns to San Francisco and all he can think of is how much he misses…his dog. What, you can’t have a dog in Chicago?

Funny, how quickly some things can change.

Like this, for example.

Groucho says it’s over for the Lakers.

Mariotti puts down the doughnut and tells the Cubs to jump on Shea Hillenbrand, pronto. One problem with this trade rumor. Peter Gammons started it yesterday. So it’s not true. Damn. I’d have done it, too. I think the Cubs should wait a couple weeks and then sucker the Dodgers out of Adrian Beltre before he gets hot. But that’s just me.

You have to love this story about new Bear Bryan Anderson hanging up on Mike Sherman. If Jerry Angelo did nothing in this draft but antagonize the Packers, it was worth it.

Barry Rozner with some good stuff on Rex Grossman. I don’t care what you say, I’m driving the Grossman bandwagon.

Mike Imrem is throwing himself on the Rob Judson bandwagon. Watch out for the ears.

Ames, typically, can’t handle Larry Eustachy’s newfound fame. I think it’s sad that the “highest paid public official in Iowa” is drinking Natural beer. It’s not even Natural Light. Yikes.

Peter Gammons with some stuff. Including the Hillenbrand-Williamson-Cruz trade rumor.

Rickey Hendy (how you doin’?) says it’s a conspiracy that’s keeping Rickey out of baseball and Rickey don’t like it.

Spanish-yes.com says that Ohio State is still the best football team in the land and that Notre Dame is 24th. Much worse if they wear those horrendous gold jerseys.

Chewbacca is coming back for Star Wars Three. How cool is that?

Rosario’s got some ‘splaining to do.

Apparently Britney Spears is a prima dona. Who saw that coming?

Who wants to go for a walk in Queens? Anybody?

Alabama is blaming California for this earthquake. But California says, “It’s not our fault.” Get it? Yeah, I know it’s lame.

America’s finest news source asks some “men” on the street about Syria.