It’s been 34 years a day since the Cubs last swept the Cardinals in a four-game series at Wrigley Field and it’s been almost an hour and a half since they traded a Hall of Fame starting pitcher. Good times.
On Thursday, Jim Hendry gave Dusty another in a long series of tepid votes of confidence. This one was designed to change the question Dusty gets every day from, “So, you fired yet?” to “You’re not going to come back for more of this shit next year, are you?”
Then the Cubs took the field full of verve and vigor and pantsed the Cardinals four days in a row. It’s been a bad year full of bad moments, and really, a rational, mature person wouldn’t derive a tremendous amount of satisfaction at a four-game winning streak in July. But nobody ever said I was rational or mature.
In many ways, the fact that the Cubs are going nowhere made the second Wrigley sweep of the Cardinals even better. It’s easy for the Cards’ fans to shrug, tug on their loose teeth and say, “You guys is purty good this year,” but what do they say when the Cubs have nearly a quarter of their season win total against their beloved Satanic Fowl? I shudder to think.
On Thursday night I was there with longtime Desipio readers Mike D. and TJ, and with one of the Goatriders (Jason, who is either Pestilence or Destitution, I always forget).
You’d have been proud. Mike screamed “Kidney Hoarder” at David Eckstein whenever he got a chance, I barked when The Genius came out for pitching changes, and our conversations were about the kinds of things that are the topic of upscale cocktail parties all over the largest cities in the world. Stuff like:
– Just how much better would the Barrett-Eyechart brawl have been if the pitcher involved in it wasn’t Rich Hill, but was Carlos Zambrano? Would Carlos be serving time right now?
– If you’re Barrett and Eckstein comes to bat couldn’t you get in his head with stuff like, “Hey Dave, I saw your nephews the other day. Cute kids. Why are their eyes so yellow?”
– How many years was Albert Pujols ahead of Juan Marichal in high school?
– Is Edmonds jealous of Juan Encarnacion that the Wrigley glory hole is in right and not center?
– Did Joe Morgan really say, “Well, I still have two more,” on the air when Jon Miller consoled him on the Sunday, July 24 broadcast about the death of his sister? (He really did say it.)
– Why not give Carlos a few starts in left field, or at least first base. Maybe he could break his home run tie with Derrek Lee?
We saw some astounding things. We saw Jock Jones make a catch in the right field well when he actually “had” to jump, instead of just jumping because he’d run himself out of position.
We saw Rich Hill throw a 1-2-3 inning. Seriously. He did it. Once.
Bobo Novoa came in and got Albert to hit into a double play.
We even got to berate some dumbass Cardinals fan with a Bartman 03 jersey. Asking him where his Jorge Orta jersey was.
But the whole weekend was grand. The Cardinals defense was atrocious all weekend long. From Scott Rolen giving the “Roger Dorn ole!” to a grounder on Thursday, to Carlos Marmol’s mad dash home on Friday where he easily beat a Cardinals’ relay throw, to Angel Pagan’s steal of home (thanks to Ron Ce getting ‘picked off’ first and getting out of it) to the classic Hank White hookslide around a bad Eckstein throw to the plate on Sunday. Perhaps the Cubs have found out that by actually putting the ball in play occasionally, they open up the chance of some things actually happening like this?
I still have no idea what Ronny was doing when he pretended to get hit by a pitch on Saturday, but it was cool to see Dusty get tossed, and to be genuinely upset during the argument. I wonder why it takes The Genius’ visits for Dusty to come out of his dugout coma? If he’d manage like that all year, who knows who many wins the Cubs might have. (Fifty?)
If you think Rich Hill looked awful in his Thursday night performance, you missed the pitch of the night. The ceremonial first pitch that Rowdy Roddy Piper (yes, that Rowdy Roddy Piper) throw a good six feet–straight down.
Today, the Cubs said goodbye to Greg Maddux again. The 14 year olds at the four-letter messageboard have been calling for his departure since he came back in 2004. They just don’t get it.
I’m glad Greggie came back. I didn’t expect him to pitch like it was 1993 again. There was something gratifying about the Cubs making some effort (no matter how late and inconsequential) to make up for the biggest mistake in franchise history. We saw Greg’s 300th win, his 3,000th strikeout and for three years only he and Carlos have been worth counting on. When he’s on (like he was in his final Cubs’ start on Saturday) he’s still as much fun to watch as any pitcher, ever.
It’s fitting that he’s going to LA to pitch for the Dodgers, because in the past three years, on those days when Greg Maddux was “Greg Maddux” again, I always thought of the great Vin Scully in the otherwise forgettable Kevin Costner movie “For the Love of the Game.”
“Can he push the sun back up in the sky and give us all one more day of summer?”
Greg gave us plenty to cheer about in his first six and last three years. We just kind of admired him from afar with the awful kick-in-the-nuts feeling of regret when he was in Atlanta.
Greg Maddux was the guy we all think we’d be if we had made it to the big leagues. Cool under pressure, always in control, always ready to take the blame if the shit hit the fan. People think his postseason numbers are awful. Go look them up. You’ll be surprised.
Rooting for Greg Maddux has never been hard, and it was never unsatisfying.
Today’s trade, for former Gold Glove shortstop Cesar Izturis isn’t a bad deal for the Cubs. There’s more baseball left in Cesar than Greg. Cesar can do amazing things on defense. (He can do amazing things on offense, too–like make rallys disappear.) But it’s hardly worth it in a less tangible sense.
Greg Maddux’s presence was a reminder that not all of the Cubs are loathsome pieces of feces. If Greg is hanging out with them, how bad can they be? Now that’s gone.
There are still Cubs to root for. Derrek Lee’s a great guy and a great player, but he’s hurt. I have to admit, that for no good reason, I really like Juan Pierre, even if he can’t throw and didn’t start hitting until the season was over. We all love Carlos. But I’ll miss Greg. He was a genius among idiots. Now it’s just all idiots.
No shout out for Hank White?
Andy,
Season’s been over since Arbor Day.
When will you start writing about us?
Great entry. We’ll miss Greg for all those reasons that you stated. Not many 5’11” 170 lb pitchers are mythic.
For the past couple years we’ve all hoped that the real Roy Hobbs (minus bullett and plus hall of fame career) was really a short, soft pitcher with an impish grin.
Suddenly, for only one reason, I’m rooting for the Dodgers.
“My dad wouldn’t let me and my brother donate because my sister has two boys who will probably have some sort of kidney problems and will probably have to have a kidney transplant later on in life, so they wanted me and my brother to save ours for them.”
So uhh, I guess you could say I’m a walking harvest.
Fear my arthritic throwing elbow, bitches!
So it takes cash to complete the Todd Walker for some pissant rookie league pitcher deal?
So the Dodgers wanted Maddux and the Cubs end up sending cash to the Dodgers to complete a deal?
They faired better in the Scott Williamson deal…Fred the Baker’s biggest fan strikes again
I will probably up the teams overall OBP HAHAHA
Hey I can fill in for Gre…….never mind.
Didja hear my Hank White Club plug yesterday? i couldn’t have been more excited to get THAT out!
How many .660 OPS middle infielders does it take to ruin a season?
We’ll find out in 2007!
Er- Andy, you mention that we just figured out that putting the ball into play might have helped us score runs. Did you realize we have among the fewest offensive K’s in baseball this year? Despite that, we have the 2nd worst OBP. Anyone still want to explain why K’s are bad?
Say hello to your new #2 hitter, dudes.
Who needs Maddux? I can come into the game and have my second pitch gets hit out of the park. And Mary looked good tonight too.
Good job Glen-done. You sucked so bad out there in just two innings you just might make everyone forget how much I sucked tonight.
What’s “OPS”?
Who needs Maddux? We’ve got Mary and Glen-done. And Carrie will be back from his 400th surgery to pitch again. And Neifi boy looks just great out there at second and batting second.
Hell why wouldn’t any players want to play for a team who lost the previous night 15-4. Shit its not over yet.
Hell why wouldn’t any players want to play for a team who lost the previous night 15-4. Shit its not over yet.
And I double posted too
Yep, correctumundo Dumbass at the Trib. Seriously, who the hell wants to even root for this team?
I wish I’d been traded.
Me too you stupid ginger. Cubs need a real left fielder.
C Damian Miller
1B Nomaahhhish
2B Disgusted Bat Flip
SS Bobbled by Alex S. Gonzalez
3B Bill is it Mooler or Miller
OF Louis Gonzalez (hahaha, idiots)
OF Corey
OF Piss on mE hands Alou
SP Greggie
C Gabor Bako
IF Jerry the Lesser
IF Mark Bellhorn
OF Gary Jr.
OF Steroids Lawton
OF Rondellelellle
SP Abe Lincoln Clement
SP Dontrelle
SP Judy Garland
SP Jon Lieberman
RP Sweaty Joe Bo
RP Latroy
RP Scotty Williamson
RP Mike i got designated for assignment again Remlinger
RP Flash
RP The Farns
Youre telling me that team wouldnt beat the current roster??
23 — you forgot one…buddy.
Yeah, remember me throwing a fastball down the cock to Will Clark in the ’89 NLCS right after a trip to the mound where I was told not to? Or my great starts down the stretch in ’04 when the Reds piss-pounded me? Or that Opening Day ’04 start when I couldn’t find the plate with a GPS system? Yeah, good times.
What, no love for me, #23? Have you seen what I’m doing down here in Florida? Has anyone?
#26 – did you actually grace the pinstripes?
Excuse me if I don’t cry a river over losing a pitcher that’s gone 22-26 over the last two years and who’s departure actually forces Toothpick to start a kid in the rotation over the final two months of his tenure.
And how about one of my best Wrigley appearances: Randall Simon beating me in Game 3 of the ’03 NLDS.
Right, Shizz. The “kids” just haven’t got a chnace to pitch this year. And the one guy they could learn anytning from is gone.
You mean the “kids” aren’t learning anything about pitching from me? Huh? I always wondered why Marshall told me to f*** off, when I told him I could make him the next Prior or Wood.
Well, Phil Rogers is, in fact, completely insane:
http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/cs-060731rogers,1,3710505.column?coll=cs-home-headlines.
He’s claiming that getting Maicer Izturis’s big brother (how bad is it to be referenced as somebody’s “big” brother, and not “little” brother?) Cesar Izturis is a steal? I know many of you have read all the inferences to Neifi Perez already, and they’re not at all completely illigitimate. However handy Cesar turns out to be, he really is a slightly younger Neifi, and a slightly older Ronny Cedeno. However, if this gets Neifi off the team next year, or as early as this year, I’m all for it. In fact, they should have traded Greggie a long time ago, if that meant less of Neifi.
Boy, if the pitchers were actually learning from me while I WAS here, the Cubs are truly fucked now.
I was talking about players who are still employed by the MLB, you washed out steroid stabbing freak show
Who woulda guessed I would be the “kid” to take over for Maddux?
Let’s get real here. Maddux didn’t want to be here anymore. We get a gold glove shortstop (Neifi was never close to one) and can move Cedeno to 2B. You win with solid defense up the middle, so hopefully Barrett is the next one out of town.
If Izturis playes steller defense and hits 250-270 and steals 20 bases, he’s well worth it. He’ll be the first shorstop since Don Kessinger who can actually field his position.
But, I do acknowledge that Maddux was widely considered “a one-man curse-buster” when he came to town in 2004.
Dontcha remember?
Remember when everyone thought Greggie was the answer?
Anyone?
Anyone?
STOP TALKING ABOUT ME! I really am as meaningless as an All Star appearance or a pitcher’s wins. And if you really want to split hairs, Maddux had 15 of me. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Rookies of the Year on Cubs in 2004
Ben Grieve
Kerry Wood
Nomahhh
Todd Hollandsworth
I hope Cesar turns out to be good. I have a hunch that when healthy he will be, and that he won’t be healthy (or good) all that often.
But Shizzlacher can take his Maddux bashing and shove it up his Lord of the Dance.
This just in! The Cubs have traded Jockstrap Jones, no relation to Bootstrap Bill, along with Jeff Samurianinja, to the Bears for Kyle Orton and Thomas Jones. The Bears are excited about Jock as a 3rd string mobile QB. They have seen his potential for airmailing a ball over a cutoff man’s head, they’ve also seen his reckless baserunning. These two skills transfer very well to the NFL. They’ve also noticed that when he does run for a TD, he already has a well-rehearsed spiking of the ball which he has demonstrated when trying to throw out runners. A classic TD celebration. Go Bears
I still am under contract next year Cub fans!! BWHAHAHAHA
Shawon-o-meter,
The only problem with your theory is that the last thing in the world “the one guy they could learn anything from” wanted (or wants, for that matter) to be was/is a defacto pitching coach.
And oh yeah, he sucked. Everybody seems to be forgetting that part.