Didn’t Spring Training feel good for a few minutes there? Every day, there was a new story about how Prior and Wood were both healthy, Wade Miller was coming along, and Alfonso Soriano and Lou Piniella were happily shampooing each other’s hair and gossiping about Scott Eyre’s diet. Then, Prior took the mound the first time.
When the people sitting in the first few rows during Prior’s first start needed helmets and shields to survive the game, maybe we should have been suspicious. Especially when those fans were sitting in the first few rows of the bleachers.
But at least, for once, the Cubs weren’t counting on Prior, right? They had starting pitchers coming out of their ears, right? True. If the Cubs are comfortable going with a starting rotation of Carlos Zambrano, Ted Lilly, Rich Hill, Wade Miller and Jason Marquis, then the Cubs are set.
But is anyone happy with that rotation? At least, anyone other than Wade Miller, who is just happy to be in a Major League uniform.
And then came the news this weekend, straight out of Commissioner Gordon’s mouth. Mark Prior is out of the Cactus League, into the minors.
What a shame that The Franchise might start the season in a place where between innings they fire tee shirts out of a cannon. Even more of a shame that the way Prior’s pitching, he might be the guy holding the cannon. It may be time to face the suddenly very real possibility that Prior may not be back. Ever.
So, why aren’t we up on a ledge?
Angel Guzman. The kid who has been teasing us with talent for years has looked like the kid who has been teasing us with talent for years. Wait, what?
Guzman is throwing hard, and he’s throwing well, and it’s starting to look as though Guzman may be the fifth starter when the team goes north. Even his picture is of better quality than Prior’s, and certainly his fastball is in better shape.
Wait. That would make Jason Marquis the FOURTH starter, right? Damn.
- The Cubs actually played well for the first time all spring and beat the Brewers yesterday. After starting off 0-3, the Cubs are 6-2-1 since. That’s something, right? Right? Oh, and catching prospect Jake Fox is hitting everything in sight.
- Here’s hoping the Cubs traded everyone’s favorite sack-shaver for the 2005 version of Neal Cotts instead of the 2006 version.
- Former Cub Jeromy Burnitz is calling it quits. I’m good at rhyming. While I didn’t particularly care for Burnitz on the field, he seemed like a cool guy. And at least he wasn’t Jacque Jones.
- Now that I hopefully have you back off the ledge, Seabiscuit’s jockey encourages you to go ahead and butter up your feet and climb back out there, as he reflects on “what might have been” in 2004.
No, hell yeah, no, maybe, and WTF?
“What a shame that The Franchise might start the season in a place where between innings they fire tee shirts out of a cannon.”
So you do think he’ll make the big club? Because we love it when people fire T-shirts at us through a cannon. We also have cheerleaders like looking at chicks and Bronson Arroyo if you don’ t like looking at chicks.
Come open the season with us. Insanity should ensue.
Yes, in fact, we do.
Too bad the Carp is gone.
Where the hell is everybody today?
It has been quiet around here lately. Right around the time I started writing doses, actually. Sorry, Andy.
Quite a group there: Prior, Rally Carp, Lance Bass, Michelle Kwan, Jim Nabors Jr….
I killed half of your website! MUHAHAHAHAH!
Mark Prior is The Franchise again! Too bad that franchise is the Iowa Cubs. This is fucking sad, campers.
We’re all over at CHUD.com getting our asses handed to us in the political forums by an insane genius with a dolphin fetish. (by sophistry natch)
We may come back around 3 p.m. for the Dolphin-cast. If there is one.
That’s not me!
Real? I mean what was Prior doing with Lance Bass? Don’t answer that.
What’s up, losers? It made my day to see something from Bad Kermit today. I didn’t want to say anthing to Mr. Piniella because I have a lot of respect for the manager of the Cubs. [and I want him to marry Mother] Now, if Jim Hendry ever submits a column, then I’d be on him like mustard in my mustache. Seriously, we propose literally THOUSANDS of genius trades on Northside Baseball every single day that would put the Cubs over the top, but Jim Hendry won’t put his ego aside and listen to us. I know he reads the site. That’s why I try not to rip him over there. But, here? This is fringe, baby. I can say what. I can even attack the poster. [Side note: this one time, i had a poster of carmen electra on my wall hidden behind my ‘hang in there’ kitty poster. i used to do all sorts of evil things to my body while looking at that poster and Mother didn’t ever have a clue as to what i was doing. but one day i got myself so worked up that i literally attacked the poster on my wall. it wasn’t all my fault, though. i was all hopped up on twinkies and tab and almost out of my mind with lust. Mother heard the commotion and stormed down into my room{your’e supposed to stay OUT no matter what, Mother!} to find me naked{except for my socks which i never take off} and bits of carmen electra stuck to me{not the real carmen electra, the poster pieces}. Long story short—the relationship between Mother and her son was never the same and now we have rules against attacking posters on NSBB]
Anyway, you guys suck and I’d make a great general manager.
…and, why is the broad he’s standing next to (assuming she’s his date) a little “so-so?” It’d be hard to play “Would Ya?” with that picture…
My favorite part of the picture is that Prior looks completely terrified of that girl. Also, Lance Bass can’t be more than 5’5″.
Prior’s just trying not to queef (spelling?). I think he pulled a muscle. Just let it go next time, Mark.
The girl next to Prior is swimmer Natalie Coughlin, who was a medalist at the 04 Olympics and is smokin’ hot nowadays. I believe that pic is from the Sullivan Award banquet back when Prior was at USC.
So let me guess. Baseball, swimming, soccer, tennis, track?
not tennis, figure skating. Don’t know about the guys. Well, except that they look like they enjoy the company of other men.
Are you sure that’s not me in that picture? It looks like me.
You didn’t go to Southern Cal, Jennie. Ditz.
Um…Jennie Finch went to UCLA, right? And, she’s so way hot…She’s actually married to D’back Casey Daigle…I think.
Jennie Finch went to me.
Maybe we can trade Prior, Marshall and Fox for Senior VORP?
Coughlin went to CAl. And what the hell is wrong with being 5’5″?
When I was a freshman, Mark raped me. He raped me good. The girls of Southern Cal paid dearly for four years.
Make that five years. Sorry…when I bring up what Mark did to me I forget things.
Her fastball is faster than his
who the fuck is Lance Bass? why are you taking my picture? Where’s Sick Boy? I just need to score some junk.
Hey Kermit – I just gotta ask you one thing, tough guy…can anybody flip a bat after the admittedly rare long ball like me? Jacque Jones do what he do and what Jacque do is flip his queer red bat after meaningless home runs. Beeyotch! Burnitz got nothin on me.
Is Michelle Kwan hot or what (is that Michelle Kwan?) anyways, my favorite part of figure skating the past 15 years has bee the evolution of Michelle’s Ass and Breasts…..loved when she skated backwards with her booty towards the camera, little skirt blown up somewhere around her waist…