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Posted on 10 May 2007 by Andy
Pitching matchup:
Pissburgh: Paul Maholm 1-4, 5.51 ERA
Cubs: Carlos Zambrano 3-2, 5.80 ERA
Lineups
Pissburgh
Freddy Sanchez, 2b
Jose Bautista, 3b
Jason Bay, lf
Ryan Doumit, rf
Xavier Nady, cf
Adam LaRoche, 1b
Ronny Paulino, c
Kirk Hinrich’s half brother, ss
Maholm, p
Cubs
The Fonz, lf
Dance Fever, ss
MV Lee, 1b
E-ramis, 3b
Red, rf
The Rose, 2b
Hank White, c
Angel Fucking Pagan, cf
The Lawnmower, p
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May 10th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Howdy boys! Over/under for how many times Carlos leads off an inning today?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
I am back and you will enjoy it.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Pagan’s still better than Cesar., so we shouldn’t get too upset.
Speaking of that big-eared failure, at what point does he simply get cut? Seriously. What purpose does that fuckstick serve by being a bench player?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Mike D. is my new hero.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Where the **** is my playing time?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Okay, female doges. Get ready to witness the first no-hitter in over 35 years.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
In Iowa.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
BREEEAAAAAVVVVEEEE!!!!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Brave!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Who got sent down for me?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Nevermind, #10.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
I have holes in my intestines.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Guys remember me? How come *I* didn’t make Bad Kermit’s “Bottom 126″? I sucked big-time.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Pay attention, Angel. It was me.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Sending Pie down for Pagan is probably a good move at this point. If I have to defend that stance, I’ll probably do it on the board somewhere. Here’s hoping I don’t have to.
Pagan ain’t great or nothin’, but Felix has to be getting regular ABs, no matter the cost.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
That would be one Felix Pie. Now he can tell all his boys in Iowa about being in the show once, for like 21 days.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Is Theriot in the lineup?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
I agree with SD.
I also agree that Apple Fritter Jim is just too inert to swing a deal this early in May, and that is why we have a logjam in the outfield and it’s also why Angel’s playing. Sure, it’s hard gto swing a deal early in the season, but it’s not impossible. Didn’t we get Eckersley and his drinking habit for Billy Buckner in early May?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
We’ve been getting some love from Andy this week
May 10th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Who do you think dance fever is?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Apparently, all the mainstream reporters and columnists in town are basing their conclusion that Pie’s in over his head based on me.
Even though he’s got, like, 6 extra base hits. That’s certainly more than Izturis, Cedeno, Murton and Blanco (and maybe Jock sniffer?)
May 10th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
If only I were, say, printed on this page or something.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
So, Pie needs to go down because he needes at bats. Check.
Jones is benched, so someone needs to take his at bats in the eight spot in the order. Ergo, bring up Pagan.
******* brilliant I tell ya.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Que Puto
May 10th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
D’ur, sorry…I haven’t been to the site in a long time, so I don’t know what Dolan’s knickname has been for him.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Carlos is off to a good start.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
I want Barry Zito money!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Yeah Z deserves my type of money because he’s pitching like me right now. SHITTY.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Keep in mind that I personally would not start Angel Pagan. I just think that he would be a better option for our bench right now. Felix Pie is obviously the better ballplayer, and is a good option off our bench, but I don’t like him coming off the bench at the expense of costing him at-bats at his age.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
But why bring up Pagan to START??!?!?!?!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Que Puto infuckingdeed.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
There’s a commercial on the radio where Mikey Barret talks about how great it is to catch Carlos. Funny how they didn’t mention that Hank White is usually catching Carlos while Mikey watches from the bench.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
What the **** was I doing there?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Aren’t you glad that I pitched a complete game yesterday? Because it looks like the bullpen is going to in this game by the 2nd inning.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
What? I really ******* suck so far this year.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
When is Dr. Andrews going to look at me?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Because they’re facing a lefty today Chuck. Take a ******* breath
May 10th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
hey guys. sorry i’m late. but Angel Pagan? wtf? starting?
I don’t know if anyone has broght that up yet, but it seems strange to me.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
A complete game from the Frenchie? Watch theees! I go complete opposite!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
when did I become the cubs #4 starter?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
HBP, Double, Double, Single–Gameday shows Z is getting squeezed.
What the **** is going on?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
I have to be injured…..that’s the only explanation for how shitty i’m pitching
May 10th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Sheesh, all these swears and none of them from me. This sure is a ballgame.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Frenchy? I’m from New York dickhead!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
I didn’t know that Carlos did impersonations. He should seriously not do his Wade Miller impersonation on the mound though.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
If anyone feels like doing some research, I would be curious to know what Carlos’ career stats are in the 1st inning in the months of April and May.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I didn’t have a beard last night. Testosterone, anyone?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I don’t think Carlos can tell the difference from Parisian Frommage and New York Kosher.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I think I’ve got another Dune DVD to watch… Shit… it’s at home. Well, I guess there’s always work.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
QUE PUTO
May 10th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
What is a missed catch error on Zambrano?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
what the **** is carlos doing with a pickoff move.
doumit wasn’t going anywhere, and nobody steals on big z with his quick delivery and hank white behind the plate.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Z will be fine. Just wait until the calendar flips to May. You watch.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
I’m not out of the realm of possibility.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
“Missed catch error on Carlos Zambrano”
Huh?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Parisian frommage aint all its cracked up to be.
Pex, you go ahead and watch your Dune. I backread a Gamecast when I got back this week, and saw you light up some Dune while the Cubs were squandering, only for you to pick up the pompoms when they went ahead and on to win. Since I’m here this time, I’ll even let you know when pompom time is!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
ANyone hear my “root canal” voice? it’s hilarious.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Speaking of Dune, anyone think the Others are trying to breed the Kwisatz Saderach?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Now 13 1st inning runs allowed in 8 starts this season
May 10th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Outstanding!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Baby steps. Z’s last start he gave up 4 runs in the first. This time only 3. Baby steps.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
no.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
so who got sent down for pagan anyway? rocky cherry?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
[backwards]K[/backwards]!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Did I get all fired up when I came off the mound after that inning? I know the fans love it when I do my little scream and point routine
May 10th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Now watch me steal a base and get picked off second.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
I guess “In God We Trust” means only 1 thing to me
May 10th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
I am omnipresent!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
How Todd Walkerish of me.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
See what happens when you choke up on the bat with two strikes and try to make contact with anything??
May 10th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Surely, how Jock Jonesish of me?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
I own the Cubs, whoever I am.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
#46, I’ve got plenty.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Why is my last name pronounced Mahalom? Am I hawaiian?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
8-pitch [backwards]K[/backwards]!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
I bet Carlos was saying “Que Puto” in that string of expletives he just let fly on the mound.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Now that’s better.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Is there a way we can get Z to pitch a simulated first inning or something next time?
May 10th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Another solo shot perras.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Mas Puto!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
My sign read, “Cubs Game plus No School = Pricelees
Oh the irony…
May 10th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Patient hitter my ass.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Excellente, 77.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
For Z’s next start someone should pitch the first inning and have him come in the second.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
With my speeling skeels I should consider becuming a fan of teh Cardinals.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
3 runs won’t win this ballgame.
May 10th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Then the second inning would be horse shit, Taylor. At least there would be a chance he get the bottom of the order.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
How about some more tits and ass shots there Arne?
May 10th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
#39. Fourth starter?!? Gooze has been better than Z. Carlos is the five.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Slob, why would you want to see Arne’s tits and ass? That’ really sick.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
K!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
You’re an idiot.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
If the answer is Angel Pagan, I sure as hell don’t want to know what the question was.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
8 in a row, perras.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
You’re an idiot. I was talking about shots of halter top chicks in the bleachers.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
The new desipio buzzword.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Could you please describe the chicks in halter tops? It sucks to hear you talk about it and not know what’s going on.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
I got Crohn’s dude.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
OH NO!!!!!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
BREEEEEVE! Sorry I’m late. – Oh wait…
May 10th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
When did I get reacquired?
May 10th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
D’oh. I’m not going anywhere near Z today.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
What?
May 10th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
This is a hell of a way to win a pennant.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
OH YEAH!!!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
He dropped the ball?
May 10th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
me getting angry
May 10th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Big Z can’t seem to find me.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Let me rephrase that, when did i dye my hair red?
May 10th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Yay?
May 10th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Where’s Steve Stone with the “For all you little leaguers out there, this is why you use two hands to catch a fly ball?”
May 10th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
But man, I can take a pitch like it’s nobody’s business. And I am CHEAP! CHEAP! Don’t want to overpay for these errors now. You gotta admit, I’m better than Soriano too.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
That one play sums everything about Matt Murton. He’s an awful baseball player and if you didn’t believe it, watch him miss that fly ball. just cut him already. Who cares if anyone picks that fuckstick up
May 10th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
How’s the visibility, Matt?
May 10th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
That was painful to watch. It wasn’t even like he lost it in the sun. he just missed it. closed the glove before the ball was in it. it was like little league. guh.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Don’t worry, my ERA for the 4th – 6th inning is 6.75
May 10th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Did you see I was rocking the Pacific Coast League with a .310 on base average? I’m really going to help!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
The Pacific Coast League is tough, mang. Especially on guys named Angel. It’s a lot easier down here in Chicago.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
i have no value at all to a major league baseball team. worthless.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Give me a heet. I smoked that!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Miss me perras?
[backwards]K[/backwards]!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Let’s see if the Big Z-man can pitch here in the fourth after having to run the bases.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Rally-killing time!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
I was kind of hoping that Murton and Jock would platoon this year, that way we could platoon their detractors as well. Especially since they’ll all have bad ACL’s from their knee jerk reactions.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
We’re pretty much the same guy. Jock’s got more haters, Murton’s are just more prolific.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
5 runs might win this game.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
I love baseball! Are the Bears winning?
May 10th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
CT back with the positive! Welcome back, bro (or sis…)
May 10th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
I’m giving Nady a hit on Murton’s flyball. Just because I like to be a contradictory dumbass.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
OW! MY ANKLE!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
I’m gonna go drop a deuce. I’ll be back in a few.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Bye Apex! Hope everything comes out okay!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
It’s bro.
And Apex, I guess we’ll see you in the 8th inning.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Nice to see us make Paul Mahomo look like Cy ****** Young, just like we do against every pieceashit lefty on the face of the earth.
Two hits so far? Two lousy hits against the Pirates 4th or 5th starter?
My wife always says they need to restructure all contracts – you get paid by the win. Losses, all you get is your meal money. In 27 innings against the cheapest team in creation, and we scratch out 5 runs???
May 10th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
What? They didn’t change the rules saying you can only have three people up in an inning? Shit.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
You’re welcome, Derrek!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
What is this shit.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
We are WAY underrated.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
3rd time today. whaddaya gonna do. that’s bad luck.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Dude, this Lou fellow has got it all wrong. Leadoff with the speedy center fielder, then the second baseman.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Not bad luck 139, it’s called swinging at the first pitch.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Well today was fun. See ya tomorrow.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
If anybody is interested you can watch me.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Wasted effort for 75 Million, Alex.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Hey, maybe the club was smart holding off on my contract – I kinda suck.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
is more fun than this game right now.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Maybe the club WAS smart holding off on my contract – I kinda suck.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Classy.
Real nice.
You bastard.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
What’d I miss? Oh, really? Jeez. I hate this team.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
**** yourself.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I’ve taken a real dive today.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I’ll get it right in the 6th
May 10th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
There is definatly a direct correlation between me and message board fights.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Lou brought him back out for another inning? The bullpen must be REALLY tired.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
No, more like Cubs Dead!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Perras!
May 10th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
**** all you sonsa bitches. **** you all. I hope you die of AIDS.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Five more and we will be ahead.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
K.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
I think the Pirates may have figured out how to pitch to me…
May 10th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
I was just about to say, that on the bright side, there is no lame-ass “Cho Time” on the boards today. But alas…
May 10th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
The Cubs are who we thought they were.
May 10th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Or maybe the poster in #156 was just emulating my retardo faux-conservativism.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Everybody has AIDS
May 10th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
This is a rough outing. On a side note – the I-Cubs will hopefully roll their 3rd win against Fresno tonight.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Makes the dogshit poster seem downright eloquent.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
I’m the anti-Cliff Floyd. When I hit the ball, it actually falls ASLEEP.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
We want to finish this game quickly so we can finally have a beer in our clubhouse
May 10th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Too bad its been banned.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Maybe I can pitch for the I-Cubs.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Will be banned after May 18. Still time to get smashed before the charter flight to Philly.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
2-3 with a homer. Not bad you bunch of perras!
May 10th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
FYC
May 10th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
‘Nuff said.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
Crap. I’m back. Down by 2.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
I know how to kill something good, don’t I?
May 10th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
One swing MVLee, that’s all we need.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
I just struck out
May 10th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Actually, a swing with some contact.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
he swung at ball four
May 10th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
No, really, I think they have my number…
May 10th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
I’ve struck out a lot this week, haven’t I?
Also I’m on pace to hit about 14 home runs. that’s positively Murton-esque, isn’t it.
Shades of Sadnberg in ’93. Any of you guys STILL want to play down my wrist injury? Once again, you have fat tub of cum Scott Eyre to thank for that.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Gee. Barrett actually did the one thing he can do. Maybe he can be the new Thad Bosley.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Wow, those 2 unearned runs look positively huge.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
The official drink of Desipio.com
May 10th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Maybe so, #182, but if Big Z’s going to be the Cy Young candidate that he deludedly thinks he is, then he has to pick up his stone-handed, limp-wristed, slap-hitting, quasi-retarded redheaded teammate in that situation. To allow that error to lead to runs is something you expect out of a lesser pitcher, not some so-called “ace”.
This WAS the Pissburgh Pirates he was facing, no?
May 10th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Mike D, I would also expect an “ace” to have an ERA under 5.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
did Salomon Torres become Mariano Rivera?
May 10th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
#185,
Answer: When he’s facing the Cubs
May 10th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
One run scored on that play.
May 10th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Damn, that game was maybe kinda sorta brutal.
May 10th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Boy did I really **** with you guys for the better part of a week. HA HA! I may return at some point once I pull the rug out from under the AL East and Yankee haters world wide like I do every.*******.season.
May 10th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Will I turn out to be the most absurd free-agent signing from this past offseason? I’m on pace to hit about 18 home runs and bat about .240. Christ if I wind up playing everyday this team’s in trouble and your corpulent GM will be searching the want-ads in October.