I thought he was dead? Oh, this is a little embarrassing. Better call the florist.
Pitching matchup
Astros: Brandon Bacne (Get it bacne, like acne only on your back, oh never mind) 6-10, 4.72 ERA
Cubs: Marquis du Suc 6-7, 4.68 ERA
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Categorized | Cubs Live
Cubs Live! — Astros at Cubs, 1:20 pm, 8/6
Posted on 06 August 2008 by Andy
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August 6th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Astros Lineup:
1. Anal Fissure, 2B
2. Bat Boy, RF
3. Fat Elvis, 1B
4. El Fatass, LF
5. Jeoff Blum, SS (wait, SS? really?)
6. Ty Wiggerton, 3B
7. The Grinder, CF
8. Can’t-Hold-Onto-His-Bat Quintero, C
9. Bacne, P
Cubs Lineup:
1. Alfonso SoriEyreno, LF
2. Ryan ThEyreiot, SS
3. DEyrerick Lee, 1B
4. Aramis RamEyrez, 3B
5. Jim Eyredmonds, CF
6. Mark DEyreRosa, 2B
7. Kosuke FukudomEyre, RF
8. Geovany SotEyre, C
9. Jason MarqEyres, P
That Eyre thing really stopped working after Aramis…
August 6th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I thought it worked all the way through Weebs
August 6th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
How bad will I suck it up today boys? I have on my depends so when I shitmypants, it shouldn’t hit the mound.
August 6th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Should have been
GeovanEyre Soto
August 6th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Glad to be back!
August 6th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Where am I?
August 6th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
I appeared after a refresh, then disappeared on the next. Strange interweb effects…
August 6th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I’m the only guy worse than Suppan.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
1-2-3, kids. This is easy.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Same number Harden needed to get through the first yesterday.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
My favorite (least favorite, really) thing about Santo is when Pat says, “Ron, tell us about Jason Marquis” (or any other pitcher) and Ron says:
“Well, Patrick I think he’s got six or eight wins and his ERA is like six or so. He’s got some strikeouts and walks, and he throws a fastball and a slider and a sinker or a cutter or one of those.”
Are you telling me that WGN doesn’t give him a scouting report to read? Of course they ******* do. Read it. The Sugarbetes hasn’t taken all of your eyesight yet.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I’m making several of these outside called strikes look like awfully bad calls.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
A nice, 12-0 cushion after the first two innings in this start would definitely help.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
That first pitch was just too unbelievably fat to swing at. Aren’t these guys pitching around me?
August 6th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Hi guys!
I thought I’d watch the game with you since the Hire Bruce Kimm guy is so mean to me. He’s always mocking my mailbag.
I’ve got some fun facts for you, and I’m sure you’ll appreciate them.
If the Cubs win today it will be their 69th win, which not only means my husband will expect to be able to tea bag me tonight, but it’ll be the second straight year that the Cubs have won at least 69 games.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I think you should alwayspitch around Carlos Lee, even in the first inning with two outs and nobody on base. I nearly shat myself on Monday when the Cubs threw him a pitch to hit in the first.
Also, why does my face lock up like a jackolantern when I look at a camera?
August 6th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Legs’ scouting reports on pitchers are worse than Mike Downey’s column about the Griffey trade. The only thing you left out was his obsession with the word command.
“Well, Patrick, I shared a sundae with Milo Hamilton, and he told me that if Backe’s command is good, he can be tough to beat. If he has trouble commanding his command, it could be a good day for us, big boy.”
August 6th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Carrie, does this mean I can have the day off? I’m still tired from last night when you insisted I look up when the last time the Cubs were no-hit, even though even the dumbest of shits knows it was a Sandy Koufax perfect game in 1965.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
You know what pisses me off about Ron (nice job of Alfonso playing that out into a double, by the way)? All those years he called Don Baylor and Dusty Baker, and even Bruce Kimm the “fine” manager of the Chicago Cubs. All I get is “Lou Piniella, manager of the Chicago Cubs.” He doesn’t even say the.
He’s a legless prick.
Actually I like Ronny.
But that doesn’t not make him a legless prick.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Whee!
August 6th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Hi Ed!
Can you do me a favor? When was the last time the Cubs scored five runs in an inning? Can you look that up? And show your work.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Yesterday, seventh inning.
Please, go **** yourself with one of the knitting needles you stick in your hair bun.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
My pompous ass is up in the event of Ron’s passing/retirement/DFA, so don’t hate on him too much.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Thankfully, Darin Erstad is allergic to me.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I can’t wait to get back to Chicago. There are still nine women born in the 70s who I have not yet banged.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I don’t want Ron replaced. What I want is for them to record what he says into the mic, but not broadcast it. Then just use what he says when they play back the highlights at the end of the game.
Kind of like this gem from the first game in Milwaukee.
Pat: Bases loaded, one out for Lee. He hits a grounder to short. Hardy flips to second
Ron: Noooooo! Oh, noooooo! Nooooooo!
Pat: The throw to first is a bad one! It gets away from Fielder
Ron: Oh, yessssssss! Yesssssss! Run! Run!
Pat: It’s into the stands and two runs will score and it’s 4-3 Cubs!
Ron: Yeeeee-eeessssss!
Great on tape, unlistenable live.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Damn, I am one weird looking dude.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Did you see how straight and hard that was?
Speaking of that, see you boys tonight at the Manhole!
August 6th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Did I ever tell you about the time Mark DeRosa threw a mini-football to Jeff Samardzija in the clubhouse? I offered to show them my pom poms, but they’re gentlemen.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Lassie, bark twice if you are in Milwaukee!
Is this Wilt Chamberlain?
August 6th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
The Arrested Development “Godzilla” thing at the end was the balls.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
.278/.379/.586
According to Baseball Reference, these are my numbers since joining the Cubs – not including that double I just hit, though.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Ed, look up the numbers and see who that guy in “Guess Who” is.
I think it’s Bill Madlock.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I just hit them at the fat boy and run. Not a bad strategery.
1-0 Cubs.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Don’t worry guys, one run is all I need.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
It’s Jim Edmonds, Carrie. He even gave you a hint.
(I’m going to drink all the Drano I can get my hands on.)
August 6th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I really need to take a swig out of my “rally jug.”
August 6th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
One run is all I need….for me to poop on.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
This is my free-from-criticism year. Another year of these stats and I might be the next Jock.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Don’t worry Cubs’ fans. I’m in for the Reds. I’ll hold the Brewers right here so we can catch up. I’m currently rubbing up the ball with my sexiness.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Unless you start throwing the ball straight into the turf, Kosuke, you’re probably safe.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I’m like having another hitter in the lineup.
A really shitty hitter.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I think the Cubs should be ashamed for making us play in weather like this. What if I get a sunburn?
August 6th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Hey Jockudome!
I don’t give a frying **** what you thinks!
August 6th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Oh, and suck on that.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
I’d say that catch wasn’t exactly Jocktacular.
Kosuke’s all right by me.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I think I’m hitting on Ron’s friends from Seattle
August 6th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Wow, that effort was…just sad, really. Just hit it to Fukky. Anything hit near me or Soriano is a double today.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
How did I miss that? I didn’t think the sun would bother me with my sunglasses upside down on my hat!
August 6th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Ooh, cool, I can give up a shitload of unearned runs now!
August 6th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
The league has been getting Pence out on fastballs in this year. So I’m staying away and throwing all balls. I’m a genius.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I’m tuckered out from running the bases
August 6th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Walking Pence to face Fat Lance is probably not the smartest thing.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Don’t laugh at Jim. It happens. I’m still tired from yesterday.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Our little skirmish really turned us around!
That and the fact the Reds couldn’t take two of three from a Chinese Taipei little league team.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Wait, these runs aren’t going to be unearned are they?
Crap, I should have thought of that.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Prepare for a 4-1 deficit.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Can I get some odds on a 3 run homer?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Poop
August 6th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Don’t laugh, the Cubs are about to lose two out of three to the Asstrolls.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
You didn’t even need to go out on a limb to predict that.
On an 0-2 pitch no less.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
On an 0-2 pitch no less.
My spot in the rotation needs to be examined.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
“How do you throw a fastball right down the middle on a 0-2 pitch?”
August 6th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
And once again, I demonstrate how to get a lead and give it away and then some in the next half inning. I’m just terrific.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I’m not going to write it again.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Ahem.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Why am I not a better option as #5 starter? Having Marquis in the rotation spells D-O-O-M.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Now that Hendry has learned how to fill out the DFA paperwork, how about writing some up for Jason?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I’m available when Carlos Lee comes up.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Seriously what the ****?
Are we going to have to watch this cocksucker lose every goddamn fifth game until the season ends? **** you, Lou, get his dead ass out of there and use a real pitcher.
I’m so ******* mad I can’t see straight.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
With the off days coming up, we might just skip Jason for a while. I’d say his next start will come in March in Mesa.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Playoffs = 4-man rotation
August 6th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
someone takes a bowling ball tonight and beats Marquis senseless.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Comic relief much? I seem to be the easiest of outs immediately after Carlos Lee HRs – Bobby struck me out, and I got myself out on Marquis’ first pitch.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Here you go, Andy. You’re supposed to do something with this key. How about shoving it Marquis’ eye socket.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I would imagine I cleared without much problem (probably a lot of snickering though), how about giving me away to a team like the Yankees who are putting pitchers on the shelf by the barrellful these days?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
TribCo won’t let Hendry eat the contract. I would. Of course, it would also end up costing Jim Hendry his job, but he wouldn’t know that until after he released him.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
My disgusted bat flip nearly hit the home plate ump.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
If we collectively pummel Marquis in the dugout, would that count as unrest or justice?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Let’s replace Marquis with Rich Hill!
August 6th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
No justice no peace!
August 6th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
My control problems are not mental. My back spasms are, though.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
woof
August 6th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Time to atone.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Why are they showing Sammy highlights?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
How about a grand slam? Is that something you might be interested in?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
BONERTIME!!!
August 6th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Unclogging the bases.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Looks like it started on August 1.
It never gets old.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Should I hit third…?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Never fear
August 6th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
I think I would Bob. If you give me a ride home.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
The pathetic Jockudome smartass does know that since the All-Star Break, I’m back to my all-around versatile goodness, right?
Suck on that double, while you’re at it.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
This game would be 36-35 if the starters stay in. Lou, please be the one who pulls your starter first.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I get two more baserunners and I’m gone. Get Marshall or Gaudin ready.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I give up three run homer and I hit three run homers.
Well, probably not the latter, but it would be nice.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Jason Marquis once threw a simulated game, and lost.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Shit, he missed a three run jack by about three feet.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
And then Alfonso hit a three run homer by about 480 feet. Holy crap.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
All-around versatile goodness? Spinning around and striking out?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
BONERTIME PART DEUX!!!
August 6th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I suck.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I didn’t miss.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Bonertime?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
We’re a bunch of pussies. Especially Jockudome.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Just think how pissed the Astros fans are at backe right now. I’m nothing compared to that.
And Jockudome IS a funny name.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Jockudome sucks.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
about 6 more for this lead to be safe.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
of the Cubs hits so far today are for extra bases.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
I’m a magician. Watch how fast I make a 5 run lead disappear.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Kosuke’s looked better, but he’s only hit .174 since the break.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
We’re full of fantastic managers aren’t we. Yost, Dusty and Cooper? I mean how do you leave Backe in there? Holy crap. I love Lou but he really looks really good compared to the craptacular competition he has.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Seriously, we CANNOT blow this game just to try to get me a win, some confidence, or to “save” the bullpen. There are days off tomorrow and Monday, so everybody had better be on deck today.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
And we see Brandon Backe confusing a tantrum for intensity. Your glove and your hat did not give up eight earned runs in an inning, do not throw them. Actually, I’m surprised he could throw them without them being hit.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
If I suck so much, perhaps we should trot out some of the trash that’s patrolled the OF in recent years? When my hitting falls off, I still see a lot of pitches to wear down the opposing pitcher. Plus my defense is the balls no matter how I’m hitting.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Not only did Cecil leave him in, he’s pitching the fourth, too.
Meanwhile, the Cubs bullpen is busy. Thankfully.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
My defense neither slumped, either. My shoulders did, though.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Did somebody move the mound back? That can’t be 60 feet. I can’t possibly get it there on the fly.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
9 runs? This isn’t going to be a pitcher’s duel.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Jason wants to give Backe a shot at a three run homer.
I don’t think it’s an exaggeration that this might be Jason’s last hitter.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Holy hell, get me in there.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
See, I told you Marquis never gets any run support.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I’ll make five moves in an inning to get a match-up of lefty vs. lefty or righty vs. righty when I’m down four late, but I won’t pinch-hit for a guy in the fourth who just gave up eight runs in an inning. I’m not far benind Yost.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Thanks for letting me hit coach! I certainly earned it with that performance in the last inning didn’t I?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
And, I just hit my head on the dugout ceiling. Today’s been great.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I can’t be bothered to cover first.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Wait? I’m supposed to cover second?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
WTF? Why not just throw to first?! Goddamnit!
August 6th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
So Lee figures he’ll take the easy out at second because Marquis is going to get beaten to first by Matsui, and Theriot doesn’t cover the bag.
Ron Stilanovich does not approve.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Can I get some odds on a grand slam?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
*tongue wagging, makes catch*
woof!
August 6th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Yeah, and maybe I should cover second so Geo can throw down there on a dropped third strike with two outs, too. Screw that, that was Lee’s poor decision.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Trust me, second should have been an easy out. Slow runner, my momentum taking me towards second, and the dandy little assclown gets caught watching the game at short.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Jockudome and I are the same person.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
No, no, no! Don’t throw Backe out!
August 6th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Wow! This Cubs Live is crazy. Everybody jumps, land safely and get excited, then they are back on the ledge again.
Jockudome is a dick.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Calm down fellas, 5-run lead and Cecil refuses to pull Bacne
August 6th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
I heard you make fun of my wife, Dolan. I’m after you!
August 6th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
It’s a close race between me and Prince Fielder for Biggest Douche in the NL Central.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
if Lou pulls Marquis before he has a chance to finish the 5th so he can’t “earn” a victory… followed immediately, of course, by his DFA. I can dream.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Seriously, how can Backe and Quintero bitch about the balls and strikes? None of the pitches have made it all the way to home?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Marty, she’s a lovely woman. I mean, she is a woman, right?
August 6th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Time for three more RBI.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Can Mark get to me?
August 6th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Can Mark get to me?
August 6th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Boy, The Pulse readers are really going to fill up the comments this week
(basically anybody who owns a XXL DeRosa jersey)
August 6th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
FYJ!
August 6th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
If you combine my brainpower with that of RonCe, you could toast a piece of bread…lightly. Actual quote from the other day: “You can’t put a premium on health.”
August 6th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
(wakes up)
Shit, it’s 10-4? I better get him out.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Let’s hang this number on Backe.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
All day. What a difference the Live is with Andy in the mix. Why is it better today? Jockudome is a dick. Fukudome does nothing but hustle and take pitches better than anybody else on the team. He’s not so hot away from Wrigley, but it’s quite an adjustment to traveling in the U.S. as opposed to Japan which is the size of one state.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Can Marquis get to me?
August 6th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Pruning shears.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
B. Backe 3.1IP 9H 11R 11ER 6BB 0K 2HR
August 6th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Pay no mind today guys. My mommy forgot to give me my ritalin. Jeeze, when will I grow hair on my peenie guys?….
August 6th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Hey everybody! Did you hear the one about Jockudome?
August 6th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
You don’t actually get hair on your peenie…. Peenie!
August 6th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Carrie’s going to take all of the credit for Marquis’ win
August 6th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Why is there me?
August 6th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
But my mom says dad has hair ON his peenie! Were Jews like Marc, does that explain enough??
August 6th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Ron Sancho, I don’t think 11 is going to get it done today for the Marquis du Suc
August 6th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Marquis may go the whole game. Will we give him any love then?
hell no. He better be able to hold a 7 run lead for 2 more innings so we can get to Howry where he can’t blow it. Eyre is probably watching today with a tear in his eye thinking, “They used to put me in the game when we had big leads or deficits.”
August 6th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Lookie here! I protest de Suc qualifying for a win today. That is all.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Explain please?
August 6th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
I fouled one off my foot. I’m limping a little.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
He needed 12 in the first two innings, my bad
August 6th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Somewhere, Chuck is re-reading the rule about giving the win to a reliever who was more effective than the pitcher of record.
Unfortunately, it only applies when either the starter doesn’t go five (Marquis already has) or when a game ends up tied and a subsequent reliever is more effective than the one who would be due to get a win.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I enjoy balls on my foot.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
I’m cruising now! All it took was an eight spot!
August 6th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Cripes, do I give the error on the bobble or the throw?
August 6th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Uh oh, and error! I feel a meltdown coming!
August 6th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Should I pinch hit here?
Nah. Go get ‘em Byrdak!
August 6th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Hey guys! What’s up? I’m just sitting here at home, watching the game, eating Cheetos and refusing to wear pants. Basically, I feel like I’m in the bullpen.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Chuck still thinks he’s right
August 6th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Ed, dear? Can you do me a favor? Could you look and see how many games in a row the Cubs have won?
August 6th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Please die.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I’m going to have Marquis go 7, even if he has to throw 150 pitches and his arm falls off. On second thought, change that ‘even if’ to a ‘hopefully.’
August 6th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Wow, Lou must have a ton of confidence in me to let me pitch all the way to 7. This is a sign of just how far I’ve come. Thanks for the love guys.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Can we pull Ramirez shortly? Or Lee? I know they have the day off tomorrow, but aren’t we all about resting people?
August 6th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I feel as though I’ve been paroled.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Pat was just lauding Pence for hustling to beat out the back half of a double play even though the Astros are down by seven, and then Berkman hits one to second and doesn’t run at all.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Me this series: 1-9, 2 K. Too much lightning up in this town.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
We are both from planet Mongoloid.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
I know I say some mean things about him once and a while, but I really do love Ron Santo (in a manly way). There are only two people, ever, who can use the word Cubbies without it making me want to kill them. Ron and Harry.
So he’s got that going for him, which is nice.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Fat Lance only runs when lighting is involved.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Hey, was Ron getting a beege from that girl on her knees in the booth before he sang..
August 6th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Coming into today, Berkman was 4-32 against the Cubs .125 with 11 K’s and two walks and not single homer or RBI.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Wow! The Cubs really have their hitting shoes on today!
Me, I have my pall bearer shoes on!
August 6th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
When we wear the blue tops, you can really see that I pull my pants up to my tits.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I’d like to hear Bob reply to the shot of that kid holding up the “Alfonso Knock One Out” sign by saying, “He already did kid. Sit the **** down!”
August 6th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Nice strikeout, Soriano. You suck.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Am I wearing white shoes?
August 6th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
White shoes, white batting gloves and a white shin guard.
Ronnie’s whiter than the Cubs’ lineup.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
This ain’t Deadspin, Chip… that post didn’t even feature me.
Yeah, that was too ******’ soon.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Chuck, I already hit a 3 run shot today. You suck you douche!
August 6th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Jason Marquis is just that. He does what people expect him to do. If someone can name a better number five, then more power to them.
There are 47 games left in the season. Let’s say Marquis loses ALL of his starts, which would equate to 10 starts for 1 and 2, and 9 for everyone else. If Marquis goes 0-9, they still win 105 games. Assuming of course everyone goes 36-0. Even if they play .600 the rest of the way, that’s still 29 wins and 98 for the season.
August 6th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Name me! Name me!
August 6th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Fifth starter, I like your style. Would you like to do a guest piece for me?
August 6th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I think Wally Bell let the Cubs bat in the eighth hoping I would be killed by lightning.
August 6th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Ahhh. I used to stink it up on this very mound on a daily basis. Those were the good days huh Dusty?
August 6th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Let me start the ninth and then have Woody come in and get the save.
August 6th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Shouldn’t Lou be getting Kerry his last inning of non-closing right now?
August 6th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Kermit says I never have a bad at bat. Kermit must not be watching too many games.
August 6th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Good morning, good afternoon, and good night. Just like the good old days indeed. In American Legion ball.
August 6th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
throwing some leather!
August 6th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
I’m not bad.
August 6th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Four and two home stand so far. Four and one when they let the game go nine.
Flappity flap flap!
August 6th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
The magic number is me!
Or is it 43?
August 6th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Magic # is me.
August 6th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
My money is on Fat Elvis. What a creative bunch of names on that roster. Anyone else see this today? http://www.firstdibz.com/all-time-chicago-cubs-team.html – Glad to see old 3-finger made their list.
August 7th, 2008 at 8:38 am
test
August 7th, 2008 at 8:39 am
hey asshole, go spam somebody else’s site.
August 7th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
you suck Dolan.