Lou Piniella doesn’t just say stuff to say it. So when he went off in his postgame press conference after Monday night’s loss to the Cardinals, and challenged his team to “roll up your damn shirt and kick somebody’s ass” he had to be pleased to see one of his players lay out Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina, better known as the kid with the banjo from “Deliverance.”
While it was probably a little disappointing that it took the starting pitcher to do it, at least somebody did it.
The play was perfectly legal, and completely clean, after all, while Ted was running headlong into Molina at home plate, Molina had a) the ball, b) about 14 pounds of protective equipment on, c) an extra chromosome or two.
Lilly was out, but he escaped the play unscathed. Molina moped around like a pre-teen beauty pageant and eventually left the game.
A couple of innings later, Cardinals starting pitcher Braden Looper made a half-assed attempt to brush Lilly back off the plate, and what did Lilly do? He stuck his arm out, trying to get hit by the pitch.
How do you not love this psycho?
He is, after all Theodore Roosevelt Lilly, and like his famous namesake, when there’s a hill that needs to be charged, Ted will grab the flag and run at it. Last year, after Cubs losses he was 9-1, this year he’s 8-3.
(Actually, I just Ron Santo’ed that stat, I heard it once and believe those numbers are right. Hey, they’re close, what more do you want?)
Now, speaking of psychos, the Cubs are headed into Houston after tonight’s game with the Cardinals, where a hurricane is expected to arrive shortly after they do. The Astros are adamant about playing the series as scheduled, or at least trying to. Their contingency plan includes moving Friday’s game up from 7 p.m. to 1 p.m., then potentially having a doubleheader on Sunday (assuming Houston gets a windy bath on Saturday–something Lance Berkman could use), or playing on Sunday and Monday, since both teams have Monday off.
To that, Ryan Theriot says, screw that. The Cubs co-hurricane expert (along with Mike Fontenot), little Ryan doesn’t understand why if all of Houston is leaving town to avoid the Hurricane that the Cubs are expected to fly into it.
Hurricanes and tornadoes are not to be trifled with. While some would enjoy JO’ing into their vortex, the Cubs do not appear to be among those.
So why do they have to?
Because of this douche:
This jerkoff is Drayton McLane, the insanely rich owner of the Houston Astros. He claims that he is demanding the games be played in Houston because his Astros are still in the Wild Card race. They NEED those home games.
First off, they’re sort of in the wild card race. They’ve still got the Brewers and Phillies ahead of them, and the Cardinals are only a half game behind them. But they’re in it enough to value their home games.
But that’s not the real reason Drayton wants the games played at home.
The reason is that he’s sold out all three games. Granted, most of those fans will not be coming to the games this weekend, but if he allows Major League Baseball to move the games to a safer, more sensible location, like Atlanta or (guh) St. Louis, Drayton’s got to give the money back.
He doesn’t want to do that.
No, he’d rather endanger his $100 million payroll of players, the stadium workers, police who work the games, his training staff, his coaches, his broadcasters (actually, he’s probably hoping that Milo Hamilton gets sucked into the gulf) and the Cubs players, coaches, announcers, etc. He wants them to ride out a hurricane, so that he doesn’t have to give back three nights of gate receipts.
And, because Interim Commissioner for Life Bud Selig is a pansy, he’ll probably get his way.
I say we sick Ted Lilly on him.
September 11th, 2008 at 9:57 am
The hurricane taking out Milo Hamilton makes the whole exercise worth it, though.
September 11th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Lou went off in his postgame press conference after TUESDAY night’s loss to the Cardinals.
September 11th, 2008 at 11:34 am
We’re gonna make the Cubs fly to Houston, wait out the storm, play a double-header Sunday and play another game Monday. Bug Selig strikes again.
September 11th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Screw sicking me on Selig, let me at the damn hurricane.
September 11th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Oh…. shit.
September 11th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Any of you homos try to throw me out at home plate, and I’ll kill ya.
September 11th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I looked at that play at the plate a few times, and I’m pretty sure Lilly punched Molina 3.0 in the baby maker…or tried to. But, real big fan of Lilly trotting of field and down the tunnel like he just hit a sacrifice. With that blood going, must have had to go and sacrifice a virgin or eat a baby.
September 11th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Take it easy Theodore.
September 11th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Hey Mang,
Jew tell Teddy I’ma gonna lace his Lilly white ass next series in Cheecago. Jew make a fewl’a meh in my back yard, I’ma make-a jew pay. Jew gonna pay Teddy. (Oh sheet meh bawls be killin’ meh mang.)
September 11th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
It’s about frikin time someone showed real balls.
I have not been as proud of my Cubbies for 20 years as I was at the moment Teddy ran down molina.
For years we were to gentlemanly to run over the opposing catcher or to retaliate for an injustice.
Atta boy Teddy. I was very proud. The elbow thing during the next at bat made a tear come to my eye.
I didn’t think I could love a man. But, god dammit Theodore, I love you man.
You don’t need to be a shit like A.J. Putsinski, but you do need to play hard to win this thing.
If it takes knocking your opponents teeth out, then you do it. This isn’t little league anymore.
September 11th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Hurricane Ike: Meet Hurricane Ted.
September 11th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
You tryin’ to help Ike? You tryin’ to help Ike??!!
September 11th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
For the first time in my adult lifetime I am proud of my Cubs.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:43 am
Doesn’t McLane know that his first baseman’s scared of storms?
September 12th, 2008 at 12:44 am
LOL “Hussein”! What a burn, I am so clever!
September 12th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Lick my ass #15. It feels so good when you and my other mindless worshippers lick my ass. Just keep telling yourselves that I can do no wrong. I am perfect. Just keeping licking my ass.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Yes, #16, because making fun of bigoted douchebags who use Sen. Obama’s middle name as an epithet is *exactly* the same as believing the guy is “perfect.” You so nailed that.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Wait a sec, #16… your party is the one that believes being a part-time mayor of a town of 6,000 and 16 months at the helm of a state that has more caribou than people is qualifications to be one heartbeat behind a 72-year-old for the presidency — a woman that has no fewer than six ethical scandals in her short tenure as governor and was clearly lost on foreign policy in her ABC interview (after two weeks of keeping her in a bubble away from those mean, old Americans who want to find out what her views actually are) — and yet you call *us* “mindless worshippers?”
Okay, sure. Good to see you’re not unhinged or anything.
September 12th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Worship me and defend me, my sycophantic stooges.
September 12th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
This is a sports blog you morans!
September 12th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Obama Supporter………get the **** out of here and take your political bullshit with you.
September 12th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Hurrican Ike will end all of you Neocon assholes! Cubbies for Obama bitches!
September 12th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Tell that to #15 as well, post #21, and I’ll gladly stick to Cubs posts. Heck, nothing would make me happier.
But I’ll be damned, after the last eight years, if my side is going to unilaterally turn the other cheek, especially in the face of hysterical bullshit like #15 posted.
September 12th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Politics makes me angry. Do you fucktards really want to make me angry? I know where you live. I have two days off. You do the math.
September 13th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
thats right screw the politics,this is baseball man!!!!cubs baseball at that!!!!…how bout a cubs/angels world series??if i was in prison id break out for that one…wonder if jim belushi will be there “takin care of business”onward and upward cubs!!!
September 13th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Hoo boy, now THERE is a classic rivalry for the ages.
What the heck is so compelling about the Cubs vs. the Angels? Or for that matter, the Angels vs. anybody?
How about the Cubs vs. the Yanks? The Red Sox? The Tigers?
Or, dare I say it, vs. that other team in Chicago? That would be pretty good, don’tcha think dere, eh?
September 14th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Bring on those F*cking Rays again. We’ll show them a thing or two this time around.
September 14th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
You do realize that the man you worship is a communist, right? Read the books he wrote before he got famous…then look up the people he claims inspired him. Most were card-carrying members of the Communist party.
September 16th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Yeah, Communism is EVIL!! BLACKLISTED!