The Cubs won four games in four days in Washington DC, and fans and media alike are all “Whatever, dude.”  Apparently these games didn’t really count.  It’s just the Nationals, and the Nats suck.  That last part is definitely true, but if it’s not a big deal that the Cubs won the four games, would it have been a big deal if they’d lost one or two?  The same people downplaying the wins would be apopleptic if the Cubs hadn’t won all four.

After a quarter century of Cubs fandom, I’ve finally learned to tune out the overreactionaires among us.  One prominent media member predicted the the Cubs would be 7.5 games out at the All Star break when they lost the opener of that four game series against St. Louis at the end of the first half.

Instead, the Cubs are two games behind St. Louis, tied in the loss column, and alone in second place because the Brewers couldn’t get Felipe Lopez in time to save them from dropping two of three in Cincinnati.

I will admit, as nice as it is to see the Cubs finally get back to four games over .500 (we’re so easily pleased right now, aren’t we?) the way they did it was less than elegant.  They seemingly spent the entire weekend in DC wiggling out of bases loaded jams.

Chances are the Phillies offense won’t be as kind, should those same opportunities be presented to them.

But that’s not to say that a lot of really good things didn’t happen for the Cubs this weekend.

Alfonso Soriano hit not one, but two homers, and in fact if you go back as far as his last 10 games, he’s hitting better than .370.

E-ramis finally hit a post-shoulder injury homer.  He’s still got a ways to go, but having him at 80 percent is better than 100 percent of any of the other turds the Cubs tried at third.

Jake Fox (one of the other turds the Cubs have tried at third) continues to rake.  His complete lack of athleticism showed up at third on Sunday, but he muddled through.  He’s going to play right field tonight in Philadelphia.  That should be interesting.

Micah Hoffpauir and Mike Fontenot got some hits.  Hell, Fontenot made a great defensive play on Friday night two batters after Ryan Theriot punted a grounder like Maury Buford in his prime.

Rich Harden proved that if it’s night time and on the road and not too hot and not too cold, but jussssst right, he’s still dominant.

Kevin Gregg got a five out save.

Carlos Marmol got out of a bases loaded jam and didn’t walk anybody!  Oh, I forgot, he hit Josh Willingham to load the bases, but that’s not a walk, now is it?

And Milton Bradley…uh, well, he’s going to take a little break for a while.  His third year option kicks in at 75 games played and he’s at 74.  Piniella said something about taking Milton up to see the Liberty Bell this afternoon, but he wasn’t sure if it was high enough.  I wonder what that means?

The Phillies have won eight in a row and are starting to run away with the NL East.  They had some injuries early, and even now aren’t completely healthy, but their big guys started to heat up and because they had hung around while they were trying to get their shit together they’re easily winning their division now.

Does that sound like something that could happen to another team in the NL?

And I don’t mean the Reds.

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Keith Moreland has been filling in for Ron Santo who, depending on who you believe either has a bladder infection or a gall bladder infection, and frankly, I don’t really want or need to know.  But Moreland has a lot to learn if he’s going to fill in for a broadcast legend.

First off, Keith has this annoying habit of paying attention.  He hardly ever asks Pat Hughes to fill him in on what just happened to the last four or five batters.

He can tell the difference between pitches.  He keeps boring us with recaps of pitching sequences.  It’s almost like he thinks we want to learn things about the game as it’s being played.  When is he going to learn we just want him to read faxes to us?

He doesn’t yell or scream over Pat enough.  Every time Pat went to describe a play this weekend, you could clearly hear and understand him.  Come on, Keith.  We want our color analysts screaming incoherently during the plays.  If the other team scores you need to moan and bleet like nobody’s business.  If the Cubs score you yell, “All riiiiiiigggggghhhhhht!” and choke on a little of your phlegm.  When a Cubs player doesn’t score from third on a grounder to second base you have to groan and slam your hands down on the table in front of you.

I can’t wait for the Cubs to get home this weekend and for Ron to return.  My brain can’t take two guys in the radio booth having intelligent conversations about the game being played in front of them.  I need stories about getting hit in the face with a pitch and it leading to the invention of the helmet earflap, stories about a rookie debut in a doubleheader against Pissburgh, and stories about buying your first Chevy.

Thankfully in the fifth inning, they split Pat and Keith up so we can listen to JUDD SIROTT YELL AT US FOR NO REASON!

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Last week I e-mailed Jimmy Greenfield at the horrendous www.chicagonow.com and asked him when they were finally going to move Kermit’s blog, Hire Jim Essian over to the site.  Read through these and see if you come to a different conclusion than I do.

July 16, 2009, 4:30 p.m.
Fr: Andy Dolan
To: jgreenfield@tribune.com
RE: Hire Jim Essian

Hi Jimmy,

I see you are adding new blogs to Chicago Now all the time, and I find it curious that you haven’t brought Hire Jim Essian over yet. You know, it might be kind of nice change if you had one sports blog that wasn’t horrendously terrible.

Are you waiting for the end of baseball season to finally make his site live or have you decided to shut him out because he dared to mock Kaplan?

Gotta go, I want to see if Miss Illinois posted another column about how many push ups to do before breakfast.

Andy

July 16, 2009, 4:32 p.m.
Fr: Jimmy Greenfield
To: Andy Dolan

Desip!

Your obsession with Kaplan is the source of many laughs here. Keep it up.

Cheers,
Jimmy

July 16, 2009, 4:33 p.m.
Fr: Andy Dolan
To: Jimmy Greenfield

Greenfi,

How about an answer to the question?

July 16, 2009, 4:34 p.m.
Fr: Jimmy Greenfield
To: Andy Dolan

What was the question again?

July 16, 2009, 4:36 p.m.
Fr: Andy Dolan
To: Jimmy Greenfield

You should have been this funny when you were writing in the Red Eye, maybe somebody would have read it.

July 16, 4:40 p.m.
Fr: Jimmy Greenfield
To: Andy Dolan

Oh Desip!

Seriously, please don’t stop posting on Kaplan’s blog or writing about him every third post on your own. We’ve invented a drinking game going based on it.

July 16, 2009 4:42 p.m.
Fr: Andy Dolan
To: Jimmy Greenfield

Well, why would I ignore it? I mean that blog is a huge hit. He gets two, sometimes four comments a day. You guys might want to add a few servers to make sure you can handle the load.

July 16, 2009 4:43 p.m.
Fr: Jimmy Greenfield
To: Andy Dolan

Good, then it’s settled. What cute little Desip you are.

July 16, 2009 4:48 p.m.
Fr: Andy Dolan
To: Jimmy Greenfield

Yeah, it’s settled. You won’t bring Hire Jim Essian over to your collection of milquetoast Web sites. I don’t disagree with you. Your job would be a lot busier if you started to add sites with actual audiences.

Thanks for the insight.

Sounds like somebody doesn’t have the balls to tell Kermit that by offending the WGN Radio/Comcast Sports Net Man’o’lantern that his site isn’t moving over to the irrelevancy of the Chicago National Organization of Women blogpile.