Some of you have been around long enough to remember that Desipio, “The only site you’ll ever need.  Oh, that’s so sad,” used to be far more than a Cubs “blog.”  We used to follow everything and make fun of everybody, well, not everybody, we’ve never paid any attention to the White Sox.

And so, with the Cubs season smoldering in ruins, it’s hard not to look at the Bears, with a shiny new, boy band haircutted, diabetic superstar at the reigns, and think, “We really ought to be spending more time on THAT.”

So that’s exactly what we’re going to do.  We’re going back to our roots.

And besides, does it really seem fair that no-talent hacks like David Huh and rat faced Dan Pompei get away with their simplistic blather and we don’t call them on it?  Hell, I’ve got like five years of Jeff Joniak jokes I haven’t even gotten to yet.

That’s not to say that Gordo and Maude should feel safe.  I’m not going to spare them, but how anybody can actually sit and watch what the Cubs are still referring to as “baseball’ right now without trying to kill themselves, is far beyond me.

And what better time to start?  The experts (most of whom suffered upwards of 30 concussions during their playing days) always love to tell us that the third preseason game is the most important.  The Bears’ third preseason game just happens to be coming up on Sunday night, on national TV with one-eyed Al Michaels and the pencil necked douchebag, Cris Collinsworth.  It’s in Denver, so not only will the former Jay Cutler fan club be out to get their old quarterback, we get to watch the neckbeard (which he’s shaved off) play for somebody else.

So far, training camp and preseason have not disappointed.

Every year, Bears fans can be counted on for three things.

1. They will let their mustaches grow out to prepare for the harsh winters ahead, and so will many of their husbands.

2. They will fall in love with the backup quarterback, and while watching an overmatched dope put up mediocre numbers against guys who won’t even make their NFL team, will decide the guy is OK.  Somewhere, and not just rattling around in the cobwebs of Erik Kramer’s head injury addled brain fans have actually said, “Hey, this Caleb Hanie is pretty good!”

3. A backup wide receiver will capture the fancy of the fanbase to the point that he’s destined to become the next Jerry Rice.  OK, I suppose Mike Hass was really going to be the next Tom Waddle, but still…

This year that man is Devin Aromashodu.  Admittedly, there’s a lot to like about him.  He’s kind of tall (6’2) and his name is cool and fun to say.  He even went to Auburn where they throw the ball around like…it’s made out of lead.  And, he’s now played for five teams in three seasons.  He’s like Milton Bradley without the paranoid racist part.

OK, maybe Aromashodu will be the exception to the rule.  Other than his stint in Indianapolis (the only place where he’s really gotten to play so far), he’s been on teams with shitty quarterbacks, and Cutler really likes him.

The same Cutler who told Mike Shanahan to stop dicking around last August with Eddie Royal on special teams and get him into the starting lineup on offense.  So maybe our slacker dude QB knows something?  Or maybe he just really wants there to be a good receiver in camp, even if there isn’t.  Guh, that’s probably it, isn’t it?

So hey, we made it all the way to the end without me pointing out that Dan Pompei’s profile of Cutler and Greg Olsen made it sound like they were gay.

I mean I almost did.

Jay Cutler-Greg Olsen could become great together

Subtle headline.  You left out the word “assfuckers.”

Jay Cutler might not be at the point where he can finish Greg Olsen‘s sentences. But he probably could finish his pass routes — or even his route adjustments.

I’ve heard these two talk.  I could finish their sentences.  They usually end with, “uhhhhhhh…”

The Bears new quarterback and the team’s third-year tight end hit it off as soon as they met April 3 at Cutler’s introductory news conference. They quickly figured out they should be friends — both off the field and on.

Hey we “should” be friends!  I mean, I don’t want to, but I guess we should be!  Awesome!

At first glance, they appear to be a bit of an odd couple. Olsen is a Jersey kid who went to the urban University of Miami, also known as The U. Cutler is more country, having his roots in Santa Claus, Ind., and having played his college ball in Nashville at academically prestigious Vanderbilt.

At first glance, Pompei can’t understand why a dreamy surfer looking blonde like Olsen doesn’t like it when he’s getting dressed at his locker after practice and Pompei starts helping him button his shirt.

Or, what Olsen sees in Cutler who Pompei thinks kind of looks like what you’d end up with if Donny Most had raped the Jonas Mother.

Cutler, we should point out, is no dummy.

No, Dan, we’ve heard him talk.  It’s exactly what he is.  But he’s also a football player, not something you need to be really smart at, like getting fired from The Sporting News.

Asked to explain why they have clicked as a quarterback-receiver combination, Cutler said, “He’s a good player. He gets open a lot. It’s hard not to want to get him the ball and let him get the ball in space.”

Hey, there’s a nice, direct sentence from Cutler.  No further explanation necessary, right?

Apparently, there is.

What that means is Olsen should make a lot of catches even when he is not the primary receiver on a play call. When plays break down and Cutler leaves the pocket, Olsen probably will be his target more often than not.

I don’t think that’s what Jay meant at all there, Dan.  Because if that’s what he’d have meant, that’s probably what he would have said.

There is a chemistry between them that cannot be manufactured. You could see it on the practice fields at Olivet Nazarene during training camp, and you could see it at TJ Donlin’s, the Bourbonnias nightspot where they shared a table in the middle of a sea of fans.

It’s not at all creepy that Pompei wants you to have the mental image of him spending hours staring through the window of a dive bar in the middle of nowhere watching a couple of guys in their mid-20s sitting there drinking Corona and thinking it’s “totally awesome that we both like to push the lime wedge down into the beer while drink it!”

“Off the field, they hang out,” tight end Desmond Clark said. “They always sit by each other. They always are talking, even if it isn’t about football. So you can see they have a natural combination going.”

I’ll take this one, Dan.  What Desmond means is that he’s sick and tired of the way they write notes to each other on the back of the playsheets and then try to pretend they’re not giggling every time Ron Turner says the word “scrimmage.”

Olsen said spending time away from football with Cutler has helped them as teammates.

“It gives us more chances to talk things out,” he said. “If this situation came up, what would you think? So when you see something for the first time on the field, it doesn’t catch you off guard.”

I think this is awesome.  They can relate real life situations to football.  So, if during the third quarter of the opener at Green Bay a bar skank runs into the huddle and asks if they want to pull a train they’ll know what to do.  Tremendous.

“This year I feel we have a guy who really understands what he wants out of the guys catching the ball, whether it be backs, receivers or tight ends,” Olsen said.

I agree Greg, it always annoyed me how you guys were never sure if Kyle Orton actually wanted you to catch a ball when he threw it to you or just bat it into the air to a Carolina Panther for a touchdown?  Damn Orton and his inability to hang at your condo playing Modern Warfare and drinking tequila until his blood sugar meter went off.

And Pompei sums up the article with an ambiguously gay couple of sentences that only he could have pulled off.  Kudos, Dan.

Cutler always has shown an affinity for throwing to his tight end.

And he never has had a tight end like this one.