Hello everybody. You’re looking live at your computer…er…at Turner Field in Atlanta, where the National League Eastern Division Champions, the Atlanta Braves take on the champions of the National League Central…the Chicago Cubs.
Man, I am freaking nervous. I feel like Shawn Kemp waiting for a DNA test result.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:04 pm
Hey, when was the last time the Cubs won the World Series? 1908? I had no idea.
What is with Jeanne Zelasko’s hair? The straightener is a dangerous tool, apparently.
The Twins dumped the Yankees (hee hee) and the Marlins lost in San Francisco. Somehow it’s Jack McKeon’s fault that he walked Barry Bonds intentionally and he scored when Juan Pierre played an out into a double?
Whatever.
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 7:05 pm
What’s up with Jeannie Zelasko’s hair?
Bobby Sura
on September 30, 2003 at 7:05 pm
I’m sweating like me at a calculus test.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:07 pm
Sure. Predict away.
Cubs 4, Braves 1
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 7:07 pm
Okay, next time I read the old posts . . .
Jeanne Zelasko
on September 30, 2003 at 7:08 pm
Hey, don’t you have more important things to worry about than my hair?
Oh, and the drapes match the carpet. ;)
Wait, was that out loud?
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 7:10 pm
These people never heard of the AL and NL championships (i.e., pennants) of which, yes, Boston and the Cubs have won a few over the years (ahem, fewer for Chicago)/ Now Kennedy’s yammering about the goat. Put my eyes out now.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:11 pm
Can we cut the stupid curse crap? I swear to God, the thought of a Red Sox, Cubs World Series and all the angst the media will try and churn up is already making me tired.
Besides, the goat curse is the dumbest one ever. What self respecting team would let a goat into it’s ballpark.
I mean sure, Jim Edmonds is allowed to shag flyballs with a puppy in his pants…but I said "self respecting team."
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 7:11 pm
I’d rather look at Jeannie’s carpet than Kennedy’s rug. . .
Kiefer Sutherland
on September 30, 2003 at 7:13 pm
What is my show about this year? Somebody puts anthrax in cocaine? I think Charlie Sheen has actually done that before.
Or maybe he did coke WITH Anthrax. Those guys rock.
The early 90s
on September 30, 2003 at 7:14 pm
Hey, we want our Tomahawk Chop gimmick back.
If it was a horse, it’d be dead and you hillbillies would still be beating it.
Dennis
on September 30, 2003 at 7:14 pm
Do you think the fans are actually making the chop noise or is it being piped over the speaking Milli Vanilli style.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:16 pm
Did Steve Lyons just say Kerry has an edge because the Braves haven’t seen him pitch in two years.
Don’t they have cable?
What are the odds that Thom Brennaman will work a Diamondbacks reference into the first inning?
Oh, and we will have a special guest in the "booth" tonight from time to time. Fictional former major league manager Lou Brown will stop by to do some color analysis.
Oh, Lou…
Mattus
on September 30, 2003 at 7:17 pm
Didn’t the Cubs have a player called "chop noise"…
Lou Brown
on September 30, 2003 at 7:17 pm
The media thinks the Cubs could save themselves a lot of time and trouble if they just went out and shot themselves.
Me, I’m for wasting sportswriter’s time.
So let’s go on out there and give them all a big s@$%burger to eat.
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 7:17 pm
Maybe the foam tomahawks have a digital chip inside, like those cheap Christmas ties that play "Jingle Bells."
Hee Chop Noise
on September 30, 2003 at 7:18 pm
That’s me!
Dennis
on September 30, 2003 at 7:18 pm
What is more useless?
1.) A bible on Temptation Island
2.) A plot in a porno
3.) The ‘h’ in Brennaman’s name
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:19 pm
Cubs
CF Lofton
2B Gruddy
RF Sosa
LF Alou
3B Ramirez
1B Karros
SS Gonzalez
C Bako
P Wood
WeegiPup
on September 30, 2003 at 7:19 pm
Test
argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 7:20 pm
Lofton strokes a hit!
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:20 pm
Bruce Froemming is the home plate umpire. What are the odds Kerry gets tossed by the fourth inning?
Lofton singles to start the game and the Cubs fan just shouted down the Braves fans.
I love us.
Mattus
on September 30, 2003 at 7:22 pm
I hope Gruddy’s not dyslexic…
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 7:22 pm
Low bridge, Grudz goes down
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:22 pm
Lyons just said you need a run to win the game. So that’s what they pay Lyons for.
Yikes! Gruddy bunts one and his bad snaps back and raps him in the chin. That had to suck.
Foul ball.
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 7:23 pm
"Fabulous trade"–because the Cubs got Grud and Karros and unloaded The Turd Hundley.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:23 pm
That should read "bat." The only guy with a "bad" in the lineup is Bako.
Gruddy goes down and he’s just happy to be alive.
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 7:24 pm
Dig the big Waveland sign in the crowd!
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:24 pm
I’m calling it. Sammy goes yard right here.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:26 pm
Sammy’s locked in. 3-0, Lofton steals second. And now, Booby Cox knows I’ve called Sam’s shot, and they’re putting Sammy on.
Oh, Moises!
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 7:28 pm
Damn, veery close at first . . .
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:28 pm
Pfffft.
Moises hits into a double play, even though Furcal bobbled the ball before he made the toss to second.
I’m not saying we’re slow…
Bruce Froemming
on September 30, 2003 at 7:31 pm
I’m giving Kerry the high fastball.
I think no hitters are cool.
Oh, wait…forgot about Milt Pappas. But I didn’t cost him the no-no, just the perfecto.
Damn, how old am I?
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:34 pm
Well, not THAT high.
Anybody else remember the Cubs-Diamondbacks game on Fox when Brennaman just buried Wood, said he was overrated, he’d never amount to anything. I’d like to see Kerry waste one into the TV booth.
But that’s just the Steve Kline in me.
Larry Wayne Jones
on September 30, 2003 at 7:35 pm
Hey, you guys like my goatee? My twelve year old nephew has one just like it!
D-SAR
on September 30, 2003 at 7:35 pm
I hate the one second delay between WGN radio and Fox Network picture.
The Ledge
on September 30, 2003 at 7:36 pm
Hey, someone get all these Yankee fans off me.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:36 pm
Ortiz threw about 25 pitches in the top of the first and about five of them were strikes. Why, then, is Brennaman so obsessed with Wood’s balls and strikes.
Perhaps he’s just obsessed with Kerry’s balls?
D-SAR
on September 30, 2003 at 7:36 pm
Lidge, Dotel, and Wagner
Pat Hughes
on September 30, 2003 at 7:37 pm
It’s not a delay. I’m prescient.
I knew Kerry would whiff Larry Wayne a second before he did it.
Hideki Matt Suhey
on September 30, 2003 at 7:38 pm
Yankrees stirr go to Worrd Selies!
I read the way!
Forrow me!
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:39 pm
Wait, the new Joe Millionaire is an 11,000 a year ranch hand who fools foreign girls into having sex with him?
I’m going to start hanging out at the immigration office.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:43 pm
Is Javy Lopez the first mongoloid to hit 40 homers in the big leagues?
Keep hitting it at Furcal. He throws every third one into the dugout.
The Sprint Virtual Manager question is what’s better the exprience of the Braves, or the youthful exhuberance of the youth.
I love the youthful exhuberance of Kenny Lofton, Eric Karros, Gruddy, Mike Remlinger’s white goatee and..of course that pup, Moises Alou.
I need to start doing this. After one and a half it’s scoreless.
Boo!
Dennis
on September 30, 2003 at 7:43 pm
That was a little too easy
Spell Check
on September 30, 2003 at 7:44 pm
It’s exuberance.
Though, I wish the Bears had an ex-Hub-erance.
Dennis
on September 30, 2003 at 7:46 pm
Has anyone dipsticked Javy’s urine yet? Just asking.
Dennis
on September 30, 2003 at 7:49 pm
Not getting much slack on the strike zone this evening. Also looks like Kerry is mixing in a little backdoor slider.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 7:50 pm
Andruw pops to Sammy.
Oh, joy, tomorrow night’s game is on ESPN. Do we get the Anti-Christ and John Miller or the buffoonery of Chris Berman and Rick Sutcliffe as they hold Tony Gwynn hostage.
Javy hits one off the ground and drives it to Sammy in right. Two dead.
Bob Fick is creepy looking. I’ll bet the Braves team photog is tempted to take his picture from the front and in profile.
Kerry walks the serial killer.
Steve Lyons is analyzing Kerry’s pitching motion. That’s like hiring Paula Abdul to analyze singers.
Oh…wait.
Vinny Castilla’s mullet is batting eighth.
Vinny taps one back up the middle and Kerry makes a backhand grab (literally) and throws him out.
After two, no score.
Mattus
on September 30, 2003 at 7:51 pm
let’s play Spot The Kobe Reference…
Jim Edmonds
on September 30, 2003 at 7:51 pm
Backdoor what?
Oooh.
midas actor
on September 30, 2003 at 7:53 pm
i brake for a cubs championship.
Shawn Kemp
on September 30, 2003 at 7:53 pm
Kobe likes the brown eye, and it’s an interesting strategy. I’m a camel toe man myself. You’ll notice that while I pay a lot of child support, I have not had to plea on a sexual assault charge.
I’m just saying.
Dennis
on September 30, 2003 at 7:55 pm
Bako just matched his season HR total.
kerry wood
on September 30, 2003 at 7:56 pm
don’t give me one of those wimpy warmup jackets to run the bases
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 7:57 pm
Cubs developing a threat thanks to slugger Kerry Wood and an error by Marcus Giles…
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 7:58 pm
Come on Cubs… Mark Grudzielanek has gotten big hits all year, certainly he can get one here.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 8:01 pm
You shitting me w/ that call??
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:01 pm
Terrible call on that 3-2 pitch… Terrible.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:02 pm
MLB needs to take some lessons from NBA refs on how to throw a game.
Sosa
on September 30, 2003 at 8:02 pm
I am clutch.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:03 pm
Ortiz is obviously afraid of Paul Bako, he goes 3-0 on him.
Bako swings at ball four. Guh.
He swings at it twice and strikes out.
Wood singles to right. Hard. Hee hee.
So far, Kerry’s had the best approach at the plate. This is good, but also bad.
Lofton hits a double play grounder to Giles. Giles makes like Heather Mitts and boots it.
Everybody’s safe.
Brennaman says two thirds of the teams who won the opener in a Division Series won the series. Big whup. Tht means a third of them didn’t care that they were down 1-0.
Lyons says the Franchise is standing on second. What, Prior is pinch running? Oh, it’s Wood.
I’m surprised Calvin Schiraldi would want to even be in Boston come playoff time.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:07 pm
Thom Brennaman at least doing the game. He isn’t great but he’s better than the moron with a good name, otherwise known as Joe Buck. Of course, we all know about announcing morons who have a good name, right Cubs fans??? (Chip ring a bell?)
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:12 pm
Brennaman and Lyons brag about what a good hitter Russ Ortiz is. He whiffs on three pitches.
Lyons describes a big Wood curve as a "yakker." So is Lyons.
Furcal grounds Karros to Wood.
Bako goes to the mound to chat with Wood. Our Desipio mic picks this conversation up.
Bako: Hey, throw this moron a strike.
Wood: Shut up and catch.
Wood throws Giles a strike. Giles hits it out. 1-0 Braves.
Well, I said it’d be 4-1. There’s the one.
Sheffield lines to Lofton.
After three it’s Braves 1, Cubs yet to explode–but it’s coming. Really.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:15 pm
Well, if the strike zone for the Braves is as big as Ted Turner’s ego for the rest of the game, we aren’t scoring anything…
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:17 pm
At the very least seems as if Ortiz has thrown a lot of pitches here in the last inning or two… It’d be good to face someone like Kent Mercker as early as possible.
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 8:18 pm
Had to shut off the sound on the Fox telecast, but ESPN Radio has Joey Girardi doing color with some no-name play-by-play guy. Still better than hearing Lyons sound off.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:19 pm
FOX just had to pull out the "Last time the Cubs won a road game in the playoffs" statistic. Dang that’s been forever… (Game 3 in 1945 World Series was the answer, by the way).
Mattus
on September 30, 2003 at 8:20 pm
Was Alou there?
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:21 pm
E-Ramis draws a walk. 2 on, 0 out. Karros at the plate. Just pretend it’s Juan Acevado.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:22 pm
Moises singles to lead off the fourth. Thank goodness we have his wheels on base.
Brennaman says the Cubs haven’t won a road playoff game since 1945. What about in San Diego. Oh, never mind.
Wait, did that graphic just say E-ramis had more RBI than the great Scott Rolen this year? Could it be?
Ortiz walks E-ramis and there are two on and nobody out for Eric Karros.
Whenever you hear the "Let’s go Braves" chant. You know the Cubs fans are chanting "Let’s go Cubs" and the Braves fans are trying to keep up.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:22 pm
Alou was there along with Albert Pujols’ son. ;)
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:24 pm
Alex (Big Homer) Gonzalez now at the plate. Let’s hope he does it because the slugger known as Paul Bako bats behind him.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:24 pm
Karros dumps one in front of Andruw who dove and missed it, and I’m crapping you not, Alou almost got forced at third. Can’t he use that AARP card to advance a free base or something?
But…bases loaded, nobody out.
What are the odds that Alex doesn’t whiff here?
Maybe he’ll K, and then Bako and then Kerry can drive them in.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 8:25 pm
Just who I want up w/ the bases loaded. Gonzo, Bako, Wood. Make me feel stupid fellas.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:26 pm
Gonzalez takes a curve right down the middle for strike three.
Alex, do you ever get tired of sucking? Ever?
Here’s Bako to hit into the 6-4-3.
Baker
on September 30, 2003 at 8:27 pm
Sorry guys, should have pitch hit Simon for Gonzo there in the 4th… my bad.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:27 pm
Gonzalez strikes out. Bako is up, and even if he hits a flyball he has to hit to the track or Alou won’t make it.
Mattus
on September 30, 2003 at 8:28 pm
This is getting tense. I’ve just refreshed 4 times and no update. Come on guys. Come on Cubs.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:29 pm
Bako strikes out.
It’s up to Kerry. And he’s the best hitter of the three.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 8:29 pm
God bless… I would say this is unbelievable, but I’ve watched to many games this year to say that.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:31 pm
Damn.
That.
Sucked.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:31 pm
Woody pops out to the mullet in foul ground and doesn’t Brennaman sound a little too happy about that pathetic effort with the bases loaded.
No wonder Santo broke his jaw in 1996.
Mattus
on September 30, 2003 at 8:32 pm
Right, I get it.
No news is bad news.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 8:34 pm
In all honesty, you can’t let gonzo go up to the plate in that situation… Hernandez would not have struck out there… even a double play scores a run… damn it.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:36 pm
Can somebody please tell me when the 2001 Cubs offense showed up to replace the 2003 Cubs we saw down the stretch??? My high school’s team could have scored a run there, and they suck…
Matt
on September 30, 2003 at 8:36 pm
I vowed I would sit back and try to enjoy a playoff appearance, but I’m fucking steamed already.
B. C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:37 pm
Couldnt have said it any better.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:37 pm
Larry Wayne grounds to Karros for the first out. One pitch. Nice.
Let’s hurry up and get fat Russ back out on the mound again. He’s sweating like Bob Fick at a spelling bee.
Druw flies to Lofton. Two outs. Three pitches.
Javy whiffs and his syringe falls out of his pocket. Three outs. Nine pitches.
Fat Russ didn’t even get a chance to sit down.
Hee hee.
Light him up!
After four, 1-0 Braves.
JK to BC i meant hehe
on September 30, 2003 at 8:37 pm
Sorry BC
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 8:39 pm
Sosa, please do something.. thanks.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:39 pm
I need to mention before I go any longer that that home plate umpire needs to be replace immediately… Good God he is bad. That 3-2 pitch on Grudzielanek was somewhere between South Carolina and North Carolina.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:43 pm
Fox now showing the underside of Ortiz’s cap. And it is sweat-soaked… I think Ortiz is pitching and THEN in a spelling bee between innings.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:44 pm
Grudzielanek walks (Make-up calls?).
Sammy up with a runner on… I think we all know what this means… Double play ball. UGH!!!
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:44 pm
Kenny lays down a bunt that goes just foul. Then he grounds to Giles.
Perhaps Ortiz is wild tonight because he’s trying to read those inspirational words on the underside of the bill of his cap…while he’s pitching. He’s cross-eyed.
While Lyons and tHom go on and on about how wonderful Ortiz is. He walks Gruddy.
I hate that stupid stocking cap Sammy wears.
I also hate that he just hit into a 5-4-3 DP.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 8:44 pm
Doesn’t look good… god bless.
Kevin Tapani
on September 30, 2003 at 8:46 pm
Where have we seen this before?
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 8:47 pm
I have a feeling this will be a big inning for the Braves. Hope I’m wrong.
Bluto Blutarsky
on September 30, 2003 at 8:47 pm
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
Well, it’s not over now!
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:47 pm
Might as well just turn off the TV’s and wait until tomorrow’s ESPN game because we aren’t scoring tonight people… Either we choke it down or Russ Ortiz will get a strike on a pitch that ends up in Birmingham, Alabama’s, Legion Field.
tHom
on September 30, 2003 at 8:48 pm
I just said, "That’s no knock on Wood." I’m freaking hilarious.
Mattus
on September 30, 2003 at 8:49 pm
I sense negativity.
Andy, where’s your patented brand of slightly convincing optimism? Your team needs you…
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:51 pm
Well considering our offense just screwed up a situation that little league teams always score in there’s no reason to be anything but negative…
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:53 pm
Bob Fick whiffs on a pitch that almost hits him. Apparently Fernando Vina’s been giving him hitting tips.
Vinny swings at a pitch that barely got past the grass on its way to home plate. Vinny! Sit down.
Steve Lyons: Kerry only has four strikeouts so far.
Me doing the math. He’s on pace for ONLY nine.
He does, however, walk Vinny.
He should have gone back to that bounce pass with two strikes.
Ortiz is trying to bunt, and Matt Morris is having flashbacks. See, Wood buzzes everybody, not just Ortiz.
Ortiz whiffs trying to bunt. Pathetic. But funny. So it’s something.
Woody wants to talk to Bako.
Woody: What should I throw here?
Bako: Don’t throw that shit you threw Giles.
Woody: Gee, thanks.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:55 pm
Furcal has no chance.
tHom is telling us Kerry got married in Hawai’i. Then they show his wife. Thank god. I was afraid Kerry’s wife’s name was Steve.
Furcal whiffs on a bitch so low, one of the gophers just popped his head out of the ground to complain to Bruce Froemming.
You want optimism? This is the last time the Cubs will trail all night.
It’s guaranteed.
After five, 1-0 Braves.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:56 pm
With any other offense out there tonight I’d feel pretty good… But then again, this is the Cubs and the real Cubs players have come back to haunt us… The 75 year-old version of Moises Alou, Strikeout champion Aramis Ramirez, and one big swing away from back surgery Eric Karros due up…
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:56 pm
"Furcal whiffs on a bitch so low,"
I have no idea.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:57 pm
What color is Lyons’ tie?
Goldish yellow???
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 8:58 pm
Alou singles.
E-ramis singles.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 8:58 pm
God, here we go again.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 8:59 pm
BUNT!!!
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:00 pm
Karros singles. It’d deja vu all over again.
Gonzalez
Bako
Wood
Please, Dusty. Use the bench.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:00 pm
OK… It’s called a fly ball. We might want to try it this time Alex…
McAdoo
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 9:00 pm
Spooky . . .
Ray King
on September 30, 2003 at 9:00 pm
Don’t worry Cubs fans. I’m warming up. The rally will last a while.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 9:01 pm
Holy cow…. Dusty and I think alike… im genius.
moises alou
on September 30, 2003 at 9:01 pm
I have a non-stop obsession with clearing my spikes of dirt. After every pitch when i’m batting. And even when I get on base, i like to use my helmet to knock off the dirt
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:01 pm
Randall coming up. Think it’s a suasage. Think it’s a suasage.
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 9:01 pm
The Onanist comes into the game.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:02 pm
Randall Simon is pinch hitting for Gonzalez. I love Dusty.
Even if this doesn’t work, it’s the right move. Are we sure these are the Cubs?
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 9:03 pm
Dear god.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:03 pm
Crap!
Simon whiffs.
One out.
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 9:03 pm
Dammit, a K . . .
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 9:04 pm
I have faith in Bako…
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:06 pm
Ahh, Bako is still hitting. Why?
Just lean into one, like Rudy Stein.
Fick muffs a double play ball, gets Bako at first, but Alou scores.
The Braves aren’t really very good in the field, are they?
Game tied. 1-1.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 9:07 pm
Helllll yaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Mattus
on September 30, 2003 at 9:07 pm
Good work Andy.
Where’s all your negativity now?
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:07 pm
Just bronze him and send him to Cooperstown. Stat.
Wood doubles, both runners score. It’s 3-1 and I’m feeling pretty good about my statement at the end of the last inning.
Muahahahahahahaha!
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 9:07 pm
Hahaha! Way to go Woody!
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:08 pm
Three more words.
We.
Got.
Wood.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:08 pm
Ray King is in and suddenly the gloom has lifted.
Anybody having fun yet?
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 9:09 pm
Fick still has a little Tiger in him after all… thanks Fickee.
kerry wood's wife
on September 30, 2003 at 9:09 pm
*I* got wood. oh, well, *I* don’t, but my husband does. Well, he will tonight!
Dennis
on September 30, 2003 at 9:10 pm
Ironically enough, Baker might give the game ball to Ortiz after this one as well.
kerry
on September 30, 2003 at 9:10 pm
you will tonight!
kerry wood's wife
on September 30, 2003 at 9:10 pm
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 9:10 pm
Time to bat around on these guys . . .
kerry wood's wife
on September 30, 2003 at 9:11 pm
Lofton singles and Wood flies around the bases (OK, trots) and scores. It’s 4-1.
Lyons is an idiot. He’s giving Wood credit for running on a blooper. Uh, there are two outs, Steve.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 9:12 pm
What is lyons talking about there was 2 outs… a retard would of scored on that.
drama
on September 30, 2003 at 9:13 pm
Fuck the braves. They can’t even fill their damn stadium!!!!!!!! Cubs rule! This is our year!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 9:13 pm
I’m w/ ya on that Andy.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:13 pm
Did I predict 4-1? Uh, I meant 14-1.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:13 pm
This went from real bad to real good in about 70 seconds.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 9:15 pm
Andy, I need a job, can you help me w/ that?
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:16 pm
Coach Ditka’s favorite pitcher, Kevin Grybowski is in for the Braves.
tHom is lusting after Kerry’s hot bod. He also just outed Kerry for violating this contract by playing full court basketball in the offseason.
Gruddy grounds to Furcal.
The Cubs score
One
Two
Three
Four times and it’s 4-1 Cubs.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:17 pm
OK, Kerry there’s your four. Go get ’em champ.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:18 pm
I just got an e-mail from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s campaign. I’m not political analyst, but I don’t think I get to vote in Cal-ee-four-nee-yah.
Do I?
By the way, Arnold says Cubs in three.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:19 pm
At this point, would I be desperate in saying I’d keep Kerry in even if he gets to a pitch count of 180?
McAdoo
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:20 pm
E-ramis makes a bad throw to first, but Karros digs it out and Giles is hurt.
Nice play, Aramis!
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:22 pm
Sheffield pops to Bako in foul ground.
Kerry’s pitch count is fluid. It’s one more than whatever’s he’s thrown.
The bullpen is closed.
Repeat.
The bullpen is closed.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:24 pm
0-2 count to Larry Wayne and the Cubs fans are standing and making a ruckus. We’re like the burnouts who follow the Dead.
Woody makes Larry look pathetic on a curve.
After six. Cubs 4, Braves 1.
kerry wood's wife
on September 30, 2003 at 9:24 pm
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:24 pm
Besides, we need to keep the bullpen rested if Dusty gets a strange idea like starting Shawn Estes in Game 4 of the NLCS.
McAdoo
Dennis
on September 30, 2003 at 9:25 pm
I think Wood dropped two changes on Larry. If he gets that pitch wooking consistently, watch out NL.
Bob McAdoo
on September 30, 2003 at 9:25 pm
B.C., are you taking my name punk???
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:26 pm
No, just starting a cult.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:27 pm
Jaret Wright is in for Atlanta. Is Bobby going to use every pitcher? Who’s next Alejandro Pena or Kerry Ligtenberg?
Marcus Giles is out and some guy named Jesse Garcia is playing second. I’m going to be kind to Jesse.
He’s…fat.
Marcus Giles
on September 30, 2003 at 9:27 pm
I feel like I’m going to cry like a 4-year-old kid if I keep getting out to this Wood guy so I’m taking myself out of the game… Sorry Atlanta fans.
Ronald McDonald
on September 30, 2003 at 9:28 pm
No, he’s taking my trademark
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:28 pm
Sammy walks to lead off the seventh.
Gene Garber is up in the bullpen for the Braves.
Terry Forster just went to get a sandwich.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:29 pm
I’m not making this up.
Samuel Peralta Sosa just stole second base.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:29 pm
Sammy Sosa just stole second. No, I’m not kidding.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:30 pm
Sammy even gave it the Gary Matthews, Sr. helmet flip at second. Who are these guys? I hope they never leave. I can get used to this.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:31 pm
Now Andy and I are just channeling… I never thought it’d be so, um, disappointing…
Just kidding Andy.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:37 pm
Alou whiffs. One down.
I think he’s still in shock that Sammy’s at second.
Hey, Sammy, steal third!
E-ramis walks.
Karros whiffs. He swung and missed at a hanger for strike two. Should have killed it.
Two outs.
kerry wood's wife
on September 30, 2003 at 9:40 pm
*I* got wood. oh, well, *I* don’t, but my husband does. Well, he will tonight!
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:40 pm
BC, this just proves anybody can do this job.
Ramon is up now that he’s playing short.
Ramon takes strike three.
Sammy walked and stole second with nobody out and is left standing right there.
Wouldn’t want to make this easy, now would we?
After six and a half, Cubs 4, Braves 1.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:40 pm
Hey Kerry Wood’s wife, you’re repeating yourself.
Mattus
on September 30, 2003 at 9:42 pm
Hmmm, a couple of minutes without updates – I knew that wasn’t converted…
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:42 pm
Easy, no… This IS the Cubs!
Does anybody think Joe Buck would have called Sammy "Speedy" just minutes after stealing that base like he called Sammy "Corky" just minutes after corking the bat?
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:44 pm
Did anybody else just hear the two consecutive cuss words Bobby Cox yelled out at the first base umpire? I love Fox…
Mattus
on September 30, 2003 at 9:44 pm
"Stealy"
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:47 pm
Druw whiffs on a check swing.
The field mic just picked up Bobby Cox giving some praise to first base ump Hunter Wendelstedt, I believe it was, "You’re a f@#$ing joke!"
Javy singles with one out.
tHom thinks this is the first time Kerry has used the stretch.
OK, he just corrected himself. First time since the second inning.
I was going to say, "What did he do after those walks?"
Froemming strike zone is huge. But that one was a nice pitch.
Fick reaches on a fielder’s choice, but Gruddy retires Javy at second. Two out.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:47 pm
Classic. Ortiz gets at least ten borderline calls tonight and Wood gets one and Fick goes all Terrell Owens on the umpire. Great…
McAdoo
Vinny Castilla's mullet
on September 30, 2003 at 9:48 pm
I am mucho grande.
Viva 1982!
Kerry's wife's button
on September 30, 2003 at 9:48 pm
I am barely hangin’ on here…
Oscar Acosta
on September 30, 2003 at 9:49 pm
Hey look! I’m sitting next to Kerry Wood’s wife! I even have my old Iowa Cubs hat on!
Somebody in Iowa please verify that it’s me.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:50 pm
I’m sorry, but I’ve got to announce the start of my Bob McAdoo cult… Man that guy was good. Of course, nobody’s better tonight than Kerry Wood. Or at least that’s what his wife has been saying. Over and over…
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:50 pm
Oh, by the way, Vinny and his mullet went down on a called strike three. Froemming is calling anything close a strike for Kerry right now.
I can used to this, too.
After seven, it’s Cubs 4, Braves 1.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:51 pm
Whose knees are going to be weaker after the end of the night?
The Braves’ hitters?
Or you know who?
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:52 pm
Kent Mercker is in for the Braves. How many pitchers have they used? Seventeen?
Kent Mercker? Really? I thought his arm fell off.
Mercker apparently bought out Chris Hammond’s deal with the devil. Hopefully it expired after game 162.
Apostrophe Man
on September 30, 2003 at 9:53 pm
I think that should that be "Braves’ hitters’".
kerry wood's wife
on September 30, 2003 at 9:53 pm
I’m gonna lick kerry’s ass tonite.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:55 pm
Bako takes a walk-o. Hey, I’ll be here all night! Enjoy Steppenwolf!
Kerry Lee Wood is up, and he’s bunting.
Hey, Elvis doesn’t open for anybody else, you don’t gut on Superman’s cape and Kerry doesn’t bunt.
The Cubs crowd is chanting Ker-ry! Ker-ry! Ker-ry!
Lyons is channeling Orville Overall.
Wood just bunted foul, struck out and yelled "F@!#!"
Lofton’s up with one out.
Oh, and Jeanne Zelasko just figured out that the Yankees lost this afternoon.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:55 pm
Orville Overall?
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 9:55 pm
This game makes me want to do a fat chick tonite… who hoo!
dramadog
on September 30, 2003 at 9:55 pm
Who cares when the last cubs pitcher was to drive in the game winning run in the postseason? What horseshit? Some stats are sooo stupid
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 9:56 pm
Kent Mercker’s deal with the Devil ended… Oh that last pitch…
Kent Mercker
on September 30, 2003 at 9:56 pm
To the trainer: "Yeah, my arm just fell off. No, literally, I’m gonna need some gauze, some 40 weight oil and some ball bearings."
Trainer: "Ball bearings?"
Kent: "It’s all ball bearings these days!"
dramadog
on September 30, 2003 at 9:56 pm
Merker can take as many warmups as he wants. He still sucks
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 9:57 pm
"What are you doing, some stunt flying or something?"
Mercker’s arm is reattached, Lofton grounds into a 6-4-3 double play.
We head to the bottom of the eighth, still 4-1 Cubs.
kerry wood
on September 30, 2003 at 9:58 pm
before every inning, i take a drink of my magic water.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:01 pm
We get a strikeout and they get on base because it got away from Bako… I thought he was in there for defense… UGH!
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:01 pm
Kurt Russell’s nephew, Matt Franco is pinch hitting for the demon spawn.
Franco strikes out, Bako kicks it away and Franco is on first. Bako has to catch that ball.
Woof.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:05 pm
Is it just me, or is everything connected with Kerry Wood tonight a piece of work??? His pitching, his wife…
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:05 pm
Furcal strikes out.
Fox says his nickname is Fookee. Put an umlatt over one of those o’s and you’ve got an FCC violation on your hands.
Two strikeouts. One out.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:08 pm
Mark De Rosa is hitting for Jesse Garcia. You have to wonder, why did they use Garcia at all? Bobby Cox is a genius, isn’t he?
Just like his moronic protegee, Jimy Williams.
Mound conversation:
Bako: It’s Mark De Rosa, just throw him a damn strike and let’s get the double play.
Woody: OK.
Oops. Wood walks De Rosa.
drama
on September 30, 2003 at 10:09 pm
Oh shit!
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:09 pm
This has Kevin Tapani to Javy Lopez in 1998’s Game 2 written all over it.
drama
on September 30, 2003 at 10:09 pm
Good first pitch
drama
on September 30, 2003 at 10:09 pm
Nice
drama
on September 30, 2003 at 10:11 pm
Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 10:11 pm
Shit fire.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:12 pm
tHom just announced Sheffield 0-6 in his career against Wood.
Oh, shut up.
Kerry walks Sheffield.
Bases loaded and Remlinger is coming in.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:13 pm
Oh geez… This is getting serious Rolaids-time now.
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 10:13 pm
Not only that, but Lyons says "dead red" WAY too often. Yeah, we get it, you played major-league ball . . .
Argyles
on September 30, 2003 at 10:15 pm
ROLAIDS!! Now extra-illegal strength in the super-jumbo six-finger size for El Pulpo appearances.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:17 pm
Jones grounds to Ramon who forces the runner at second and I thought Gruddy finished the double play.
The replay shows it was a bad call. The inning should be over.
Twice. First on the passed ball on strike three to Franco, now on that. The Farns is coming in and it’s 4-2.
Two out.
Whew.
drama
on September 30, 2003 at 10:17 pm
He was so out!!!!!!!!!!!
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 10:17 pm
Bad call… replay shows him out.
Dave Wannstedt
on September 30, 2003 at 10:18 pm
Hey, throw the replay challenge flag. Where is it? It’s in my pants! Where’s Tony Wise when I need him?
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:19 pm
It figures that to get out of this inning we have to face the man that killed the 1998 hopes… Javy Lopez. Call me when I get out of the bathroom after crapping my pants.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:20 pm
Oops, forgot my Atlanta lineup.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:21 pm
Farns walks Druw.
Bases loaded again.
Javy’s up.
Gulp.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:23 pm
Lyons wants to know if Borowski is ready in the bullpen.
Then they show the bullpen and Joe gets up and starts warming up.
What do you think, Steve?
Farns gets Javy Roidpez to ground to Ramon.
Cubs lead 4-2. Let’s get that run back!
We’re off to the ninth.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:24 pm
Thank you God, you still have a soul!
hawk
on September 30, 2003 at 10:24 pm
HE GONE
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:24 pm
B.C.
Why do you go to the bathroom to crap your pants? Might as well do it right in front of the TV set.
Like I do.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:27 pm
Roberto Hernandez is in now. This ought to be good for a run or two.
Gruddy lines to De Rosa.
Sammy, we’d like a homer now, please.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 10:27 pm
Hawk, don’t bring that here.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:28 pm
Uh, Sammy?
Sammy gets a fourth of his homer, then gets nailed by Sheff trying to go to second.
Lyons likes it, tHom likes it. I do not.
He was out by five feet.
Even Wavin’ Wendell cringed on that.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 10:29 pm
Sosa steals one base and the thinks he is Carl Crawford.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:29 pm
Moises flies to Druw.
We go to the bottom of the ninth. Regular Joe is coming in and it’ll be
Fick
Mullet
Pinch hitter (Julio Franco?)
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:31 pm
Will Dusty put in the defensive replacements?
He should.
Somebody for Aramis particularly.
He has been killing me with his defense tonight.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:33 pm
Fick shows bunt? Oh, just stop it.
Fick strikes out looking.
One out.
Marcus Giles
on September 30, 2003 at 10:33 pm
Aramis killed me with his defense, too.
Robert Fick
on September 30, 2003 at 10:34 pm
I am as frozen as a popsicle…
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:34 pm
Nice to see Fremming can’t decide his strike zone.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:35 pm
Vinny Mullet-ia is up. Joe probably pitched to him in the Mexican league.
The mullet singles.
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 10:35 pm
Should have been caught.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:35 pm
Ramon Martinez can’t find his decent-fielding glove…
Julio Franco
on September 30, 2003 at 10:36 pm
I’m ready to tie it up!!!!
Think Garvey back in 1984!!!!
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 10:36 pm
I always thought it was Franco, not Fronco.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:37 pm
Julio Franco shows why the only people in baseball older than him are Moises Alou and Albert Pujols.
Two down.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:37 pm
Julio Franco pinch hits for Roberto Hernandez.
He did play in the last Cubs road win in the playoffs in 1945.
Julio strikes out swinging.
Two out.
hawk
on September 30, 2003 at 10:37 pm
HE GONE
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 10:39 pm
One more strike!!
JK
on September 30, 2003 at 10:39 pm
Yeah baby!!!!
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:40 pm
Speaking of old guys, here’s Rafael Furcal.
Strike three.
CUBS WIN!!!!!!
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:41 pm
Any guess who the Desipio.com player of the game is?
Let’s examine the nominees
a) Kerry Lee Wood — Winning pitcher, allowed two widdle hits and one earned run in seven and two thirds. Drove in two runs, had two hits and the game winning RBI.
b) Bob Fick — Kicked one in the sixth that started the rally.
c) Eliza Dushku, just because she’s hot.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:42 pm
Somebody needs to make sure Santo’s still alive…
1-0 Cubs in the series, with Andy’s man crush Carlos Zambrano going tomorrow night.
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:43 pm
Aw, hell, let’s give it to Kerry.
And, Desipio’s record in live GameCasts of Cubs games is now 5-0.
Whew. I’m a wreck. Are all of these games going to be like this?
I guess we should hope so.
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:43 pm
I think it should be A, Andy. Of course if you can find a picture of C that’d be nice too… ;-)
Carlos Zambrano
on September 30, 2003 at 10:44 pm
We have to go out there and kill the Braves.
Mark Grace
on September 30, 2003 at 10:46 pm
Hey, Kerry’s wife is hot! Can I get a piece of that?
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:49 pm
Eliza…
B.C.
on September 30, 2003 at 10:49 pm
Hey, are the Braves just the playoff version of the Saint Louis Cardinals???
Nuke LaWood
on September 30, 2003 at 10:51 pm
I just wanted to announce my presence with authority.
Hey, I think I did!
Raefal Palmeiro
on September 30, 2003 at 10:52 pm
Hey Grace, you got to get through me and my Viagra first…
Andy
on September 30, 2003 at 10:59 pm
So, the happy totals
Cubs 4 runs, 10 hits, no errors
Braves 2 runs, 3…three goddmamn hits?, one error
The Cubs lead the best of five series one game to nothing.
We’ll be back here at 7 p.m. tomorrow night. See you there.
Go Cubs!
Matt
on September 30, 2003 at 11:00 pm
" I hope Mark Prior takes a line drive off the forehead and we never have to see him again" Cardinal scumbag Steve Kline, from an AP report
Mark Grace
on September 30, 2003 at 11:00 pm
Hey Raffy, didn’t I see your beard in the Packers locker room? She mentioned something about "the end-around."
‘Creation science’ has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and because good teachers understand exactly why it is false. What could be more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our entire intellectual heritage – good teaching – than a bill forcing honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any general understanding of science as an enterprise? by online poker
Hello everybody. You’re looking live at your computer…er…at Turner Field in Atlanta, where the National League Eastern Division Champions, the Atlanta Braves take on the champions of the National League Central…the Chicago Cubs.
That just sounds cool, doesn’t it?
are we doing predictions?
ChC – 4
Atl – 3
Man, I am freaking nervous. I feel like Shawn Kemp waiting for a DNA test result.
Hey, when was the last time the Cubs won the World Series? 1908? I had no idea.
What is with Jeanne Zelasko’s hair? The straightener is a dangerous tool, apparently.
The Twins dumped the Yankees (hee hee) and the Marlins lost in San Francisco. Somehow it’s Jack McKeon’s fault that he walked Barry Bonds intentionally and he scored when Juan Pierre played an out into a double?
Whatever.
What’s up with Jeannie Zelasko’s hair?
I’m sweating like me at a calculus test.
Sure. Predict away.
Cubs 4, Braves 1
Okay, next time I read the old posts . . .
Hey, don’t you have more important things to worry about than my hair?
Oh, and the drapes match the carpet. ;)
Wait, was that out loud?
These people never heard of the AL and NL championships (i.e., pennants) of which, yes, Boston and the Cubs have won a few over the years (ahem, fewer for Chicago)/ Now Kennedy’s yammering about the goat. Put my eyes out now.
Can we cut the stupid curse crap? I swear to God, the thought of a Red Sox, Cubs World Series and all the angst the media will try and churn up is already making me tired.
Besides, the goat curse is the dumbest one ever. What self respecting team would let a goat into it’s ballpark.
I mean sure, Jim Edmonds is allowed to shag flyballs with a puppy in his pants…but I said "self respecting team."
I’d rather look at Jeannie’s carpet than Kennedy’s rug. . .
What is my show about this year? Somebody puts anthrax in cocaine? I think Charlie Sheen has actually done that before.
Or maybe he did coke WITH Anthrax. Those guys rock.
Hey, we want our Tomahawk Chop gimmick back.
If it was a horse, it’d be dead and you hillbillies would still be beating it.
Do you think the fans are actually making the chop noise or is it being piped over the speaking Milli Vanilli style.
Did Steve Lyons just say Kerry has an edge because the Braves haven’t seen him pitch in two years.
Don’t they have cable?
What are the odds that Thom Brennaman will work a Diamondbacks reference into the first inning?
Oh, and we will have a special guest in the "booth" tonight from time to time. Fictional former major league manager Lou Brown will stop by to do some color analysis.
Oh, Lou…
Didn’t the Cubs have a player called "chop noise"…
The media thinks the Cubs could save themselves a lot of time and trouble if they just went out and shot themselves.
Me, I’m for wasting sportswriter’s time.
So let’s go on out there and give them all a big s@$%burger to eat.
Maybe the foam tomahawks have a digital chip inside, like those cheap Christmas ties that play "Jingle Bells."
That’s me!
What is more useless?
1.) A bible on Temptation Island
2.) A plot in a porno
3.) The ‘h’ in Brennaman’s name
Cubs
CF Lofton
2B Gruddy
RF Sosa
LF Alou
3B Ramirez
1B Karros
SS Gonzalez
C Bako
P Wood
Test
Lofton strokes a hit!
Bruce Froemming is the home plate umpire. What are the odds Kerry gets tossed by the fourth inning?
Lofton singles to start the game and the Cubs fan just shouted down the Braves fans.
I love us.
I hope Gruddy’s not dyslexic…
Low bridge, Grudz goes down
Lyons just said you need a run to win the game. So that’s what they pay Lyons for.
Yikes! Gruddy bunts one and his bad snaps back and raps him in the chin. That had to suck.
Foul ball.
"Fabulous trade"–because the Cubs got Grud and Karros and unloaded The Turd Hundley.
That should read "bat." The only guy with a "bad" in the lineup is Bako.
Gruddy goes down and he’s just happy to be alive.
Dig the big Waveland sign in the crowd!
I’m calling it. Sammy goes yard right here.
Sammy’s locked in. 3-0, Lofton steals second. And now, Booby Cox knows I’ve called Sam’s shot, and they’re putting Sammy on.
Oh, Moises!
Damn, veery close at first . . .
Pfffft.
Moises hits into a double play, even though Furcal bobbled the ball before he made the toss to second.
I’m not saying we’re slow…
I’m giving Kerry the high fastball.
I think no hitters are cool.
Oh, wait…forgot about Milt Pappas. But I didn’t cost him the no-no, just the perfecto.
Damn, how old am I?
Well, not THAT high.
Anybody else remember the Cubs-Diamondbacks game on Fox when Brennaman just buried Wood, said he was overrated, he’d never amount to anything. I’d like to see Kerry waste one into the TV booth.
But that’s just the Steve Kline in me.
Hey, you guys like my goatee? My twelve year old nephew has one just like it!
I hate the one second delay between WGN radio and Fox Network picture.
Hey, someone get all these Yankee fans off me.
Ortiz threw about 25 pitches in the top of the first and about five of them were strikes. Why, then, is Brennaman so obsessed with Wood’s balls and strikes.
Perhaps he’s just obsessed with Kerry’s balls?
Lidge, Dotel, and Wagner
It’s not a delay. I’m prescient.
I knew Kerry would whiff Larry Wayne a second before he did it.
Yankrees stirr go to Worrd Selies!
I read the way!
Forrow me!
Wait, the new Joe Millionaire is an 11,000 a year ranch hand who fools foreign girls into having sex with him?
I’m going to start hanging out at the immigration office.
Is Javy Lopez the first mongoloid to hit 40 homers in the big leagues?
Keep hitting it at Furcal. He throws every third one into the dugout.
The Sprint Virtual Manager question is what’s better the exprience of the Braves, or the youthful exhuberance of the youth.
I love the youthful exhuberance of Kenny Lofton, Eric Karros, Gruddy, Mike Remlinger’s white goatee and..of course that pup, Moises Alou.
I need to start doing this. After one and a half it’s scoreless.
Boo!
That was a little too easy
It’s exuberance.
Though, I wish the Bears had an ex-Hub-erance.
Has anyone dipsticked Javy’s urine yet? Just asking.
Not getting much slack on the strike zone this evening. Also looks like Kerry is mixing in a little backdoor slider.
Andruw pops to Sammy.
Oh, joy, tomorrow night’s game is on ESPN. Do we get the Anti-Christ and John Miller or the buffoonery of Chris Berman and Rick Sutcliffe as they hold Tony Gwynn hostage.
Javy hits one off the ground and drives it to Sammy in right. Two dead.
Bob Fick is creepy looking. I’ll bet the Braves team photog is tempted to take his picture from the front and in profile.
Kerry walks the serial killer.
Steve Lyons is analyzing Kerry’s pitching motion. That’s like hiring Paula Abdul to analyze singers.
Oh…wait.
Vinny Castilla’s mullet is batting eighth.
Vinny taps one back up the middle and Kerry makes a backhand grab (literally) and throws him out.
After two, no score.
let’s play Spot The Kobe Reference…
Backdoor what?
Oooh.
i brake for a cubs championship.
Kobe likes the brown eye, and it’s an interesting strategy. I’m a camel toe man myself. You’ll notice that while I pay a lot of child support, I have not had to plea on a sexual assault charge.
I’m just saying.
Bako just matched his season HR total.
don’t give me one of those wimpy warmup jackets to run the bases
Cubs developing a threat thanks to slugger Kerry Wood and an error by Marcus Giles…
Come on Cubs… Mark Grudzielanek has gotten big hits all year, certainly he can get one here.
You shitting me w/ that call??
Terrible call on that 3-2 pitch… Terrible.
MLB needs to take some lessons from NBA refs on how to throw a game.
I am clutch.
Ortiz is obviously afraid of Paul Bako, he goes 3-0 on him.
Bako swings at ball four. Guh.
He swings at it twice and strikes out.
Wood singles to right. Hard. Hee hee.
So far, Kerry’s had the best approach at the plate. This is good, but also bad.
Lofton hits a double play grounder to Giles. Giles makes like Heather Mitts and boots it.
Everybody’s safe.
Brennaman says two thirds of the teams who won the opener in a Division Series won the series. Big whup. Tht means a third of them didn’t care that they were down 1-0.
Lyons says the Franchise is standing on second. What, Prior is pinch running? Oh, it’s Wood.
Gruddy takes strike three. Gulp.
Two outs. Sammy.
Sammy whiffs.
After two and a half it’s still scoreless.
Did anybody read about the monkey who got loose in Boston?
I’m surprised Calvin Schiraldi would want to even be in Boston come playoff time.
Thom Brennaman at least doing the game. He isn’t great but he’s better than the moron with a good name, otherwise known as Joe Buck. Of course, we all know about announcing morons who have a good name, right Cubs fans??? (Chip ring a bell?)
Brennaman and Lyons brag about what a good hitter Russ Ortiz is. He whiffs on three pitches.
Lyons describes a big Wood curve as a "yakker." So is Lyons.
Furcal grounds Karros to Wood.
Bako goes to the mound to chat with Wood. Our Desipio mic picks this conversation up.
Bako: Hey, throw this moron a strike.
Wood: Shut up and catch.
Wood throws Giles a strike. Giles hits it out. 1-0 Braves.
Well, I said it’d be 4-1. There’s the one.
Sheffield lines to Lofton.
After three it’s Braves 1, Cubs yet to explode–but it’s coming. Really.
Well, if the strike zone for the Braves is as big as Ted Turner’s ego for the rest of the game, we aren’t scoring anything…
At the very least seems as if Ortiz has thrown a lot of pitches here in the last inning or two… It’d be good to face someone like Kent Mercker as early as possible.
Had to shut off the sound on the Fox telecast, but ESPN Radio has Joey Girardi doing color with some no-name play-by-play guy. Still better than hearing Lyons sound off.
FOX just had to pull out the "Last time the Cubs won a road game in the playoffs" statistic. Dang that’s been forever… (Game 3 in 1945 World Series was the answer, by the way).
Was Alou there?
E-Ramis draws a walk. 2 on, 0 out. Karros at the plate. Just pretend it’s Juan Acevado.
Moises singles to lead off the fourth. Thank goodness we have his wheels on base.
Brennaman says the Cubs haven’t won a road playoff game since 1945. What about in San Diego. Oh, never mind.
Wait, did that graphic just say E-ramis had more RBI than the great Scott Rolen this year? Could it be?
Ortiz walks E-ramis and there are two on and nobody out for Eric Karros.
Whenever you hear the "Let’s go Braves" chant. You know the Cubs fans are chanting "Let’s go Cubs" and the Braves fans are trying to keep up.
Alou was there along with Albert Pujols’ son. ;)
Alex (Big Homer) Gonzalez now at the plate. Let’s hope he does it because the slugger known as Paul Bako bats behind him.
Karros dumps one in front of Andruw who dove and missed it, and I’m crapping you not, Alou almost got forced at third. Can’t he use that AARP card to advance a free base or something?
But…bases loaded, nobody out.
What are the odds that Alex doesn’t whiff here?
Maybe he’ll K, and then Bako and then Kerry can drive them in.
Just who I want up w/ the bases loaded. Gonzo, Bako, Wood. Make me feel stupid fellas.
Gonzalez takes a curve right down the middle for strike three.
Alex, do you ever get tired of sucking? Ever?
Here’s Bako to hit into the 6-4-3.
Sorry guys, should have pitch hit Simon for Gonzo there in the 4th… my bad.
Gonzalez strikes out. Bako is up, and even if he hits a flyball he has to hit to the track or Alou won’t make it.
This is getting tense. I’ve just refreshed 4 times and no update. Come on guys. Come on Cubs.
Bako strikes out.
It’s up to Kerry. And he’s the best hitter of the three.
God bless… I would say this is unbelievable, but I’ve watched to many games this year to say that.
Damn.
That.
Sucked.
Woody pops out to the mullet in foul ground and doesn’t Brennaman sound a little too happy about that pathetic effort with the bases loaded.
No wonder Santo broke his jaw in 1996.
Right, I get it.
No news is bad news.
In all honesty, you can’t let gonzo go up to the plate in that situation… Hernandez would not have struck out there… even a double play scores a run… damn it.
Can somebody please tell me when the 2001 Cubs offense showed up to replace the 2003 Cubs we saw down the stretch??? My high school’s team could have scored a run there, and they suck…
I vowed I would sit back and try to enjoy a playoff appearance, but I’m fucking steamed already.
Couldnt have said it any better.
Larry Wayne grounds to Karros for the first out. One pitch. Nice.
Let’s hurry up and get fat Russ back out on the mound again. He’s sweating like Bob Fick at a spelling bee.
Druw flies to Lofton. Two outs. Three pitches.
Javy whiffs and his syringe falls out of his pocket. Three outs. Nine pitches.
Fat Russ didn’t even get a chance to sit down.
Hee hee.
Light him up!
After four, 1-0 Braves.
Sorry BC
Sosa, please do something.. thanks.
I need to mention before I go any longer that that home plate umpire needs to be replace immediately… Good God he is bad. That 3-2 pitch on Grudzielanek was somewhere between South Carolina and North Carolina.
Fox now showing the underside of Ortiz’s cap. And it is sweat-soaked… I think Ortiz is pitching and THEN in a spelling bee between innings.
Grudzielanek walks (Make-up calls?).
Sammy up with a runner on… I think we all know what this means… Double play ball. UGH!!!
Kenny lays down a bunt that goes just foul. Then he grounds to Giles.
Perhaps Ortiz is wild tonight because he’s trying to read those inspirational words on the underside of the bill of his cap…while he’s pitching. He’s cross-eyed.
While Lyons and tHom go on and on about how wonderful Ortiz is. He walks Gruddy.
I hate that stupid stocking cap Sammy wears.
I also hate that he just hit into a 5-4-3 DP.
Doesn’t look good… god bless.
Where have we seen this before?
I have a feeling this will be a big inning for the Braves. Hope I’m wrong.
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
Well, it’s not over now!
Might as well just turn off the TV’s and wait until tomorrow’s ESPN game because we aren’t scoring tonight people… Either we choke it down or Russ Ortiz will get a strike on a pitch that ends up in Birmingham, Alabama’s, Legion Field.
I just said, "That’s no knock on Wood." I’m freaking hilarious.
I sense negativity.
Andy, where’s your patented brand of slightly convincing optimism? Your team needs you…
Well considering our offense just screwed up a situation that little league teams always score in there’s no reason to be anything but negative…
Bob Fick whiffs on a pitch that almost hits him. Apparently Fernando Vina’s been giving him hitting tips.
Vinny swings at a pitch that barely got past the grass on its way to home plate. Vinny! Sit down.
Steve Lyons: Kerry only has four strikeouts so far.
Me doing the math. He’s on pace for ONLY nine.
He does, however, walk Vinny.
He should have gone back to that bounce pass with two strikes.
Ortiz is trying to bunt, and Matt Morris is having flashbacks. See, Wood buzzes everybody, not just Ortiz.
Ortiz whiffs trying to bunt. Pathetic. But funny. So it’s something.
Woody wants to talk to Bako.
Woody: What should I throw here?
Bako: Don’t throw that shit you threw Giles.
Woody: Gee, thanks.
Furcal has no chance.
tHom is telling us Kerry got married in Hawai’i. Then they show his wife. Thank god. I was afraid Kerry’s wife’s name was Steve.
Furcal whiffs on a bitch so low, one of the gophers just popped his head out of the ground to complain to Bruce Froemming.
You want optimism? This is the last time the Cubs will trail all night.
It’s guaranteed.
After five, 1-0 Braves.
With any other offense out there tonight I’d feel pretty good… But then again, this is the Cubs and the real Cubs players have come back to haunt us… The 75 year-old version of Moises Alou, Strikeout champion Aramis Ramirez, and one big swing away from back surgery Eric Karros due up…
"Furcal whiffs on a bitch so low,"
I have no idea.
What color is Lyons’ tie?
Goldish yellow???
Alou singles.
E-ramis singles.
God, here we go again.
BUNT!!!
Karros singles. It’d deja vu all over again.
Gonzalez
Bako
Wood
Please, Dusty. Use the bench.
OK… It’s called a fly ball. We might want to try it this time Alex…
McAdoo
Spooky . . .
Don’t worry Cubs fans. I’m warming up. The rally will last a while.
Holy cow…. Dusty and I think alike… im genius.
I have a non-stop obsession with clearing my spikes of dirt. After every pitch when i’m batting. And even when I get on base, i like to use my helmet to knock off the dirt
Randall coming up. Think it’s a suasage. Think it’s a suasage.
The Onanist comes into the game.
Randall Simon is pinch hitting for Gonzalez. I love Dusty.
Even if this doesn’t work, it’s the right move. Are we sure these are the Cubs?
Dear god.
Crap!
Simon whiffs.
One out.
Dammit, a K . . .
I have faith in Bako…
Ahh, Bako is still hitting. Why?
Just lean into one, like Rudy Stein.
Fick muffs a double play ball, gets Bako at first, but Alou scores.
The Braves aren’t really very good in the field, are they?
Game tied. 1-1.
Helllll yaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Good work Andy.
Where’s all your negativity now?
Just bronze him and send him to Cooperstown. Stat.
Wood doubles, both runners score. It’s 3-1 and I’m feeling pretty good about my statement at the end of the last inning.
Muahahahahahahaha!
Hahaha! Way to go Woody!
Three more words.
We.
Got.
Wood.
Ray King is in and suddenly the gloom has lifted.
Anybody having fun yet?
Fick still has a little Tiger in him after all… thanks Fickee.
*I* got wood. oh, well, *I* don’t, but my husband does. Well, he will tonight!
Ironically enough, Baker might give the game ball to Ortiz after this one as well.
you will tonight!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Time to bat around on these guys . . .
my honey just SCORED!
Hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lofton singles and Wood flies around the bases (OK, trots) and scores. It’s 4-1.
Lyons is an idiot. He’s giving Wood credit for running on a blooper. Uh, there are two outs, Steve.
What is lyons talking about there was 2 outs… a retard would of scored on that.
Fuck the braves. They can’t even fill their damn stadium!!!!!!!! Cubs rule! This is our year!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m w/ ya on that Andy.
Did I predict 4-1? Uh, I meant 14-1.
This went from real bad to real good in about 70 seconds.
Andy, I need a job, can you help me w/ that?
Coach Ditka’s favorite pitcher, Kevin Grybowski is in for the Braves.
tHom is lusting after Kerry’s hot bod. He also just outed Kerry for violating this contract by playing full court basketball in the offseason.
Gruddy grounds to Furcal.
The Cubs score
One
Two
Three
Four times and it’s 4-1 Cubs.
OK, Kerry there’s your four. Go get ’em champ.
I just got an e-mail from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s campaign. I’m not political analyst, but I don’t think I get to vote in Cal-ee-four-nee-yah.
Do I?
By the way, Arnold says Cubs in three.
At this point, would I be desperate in saying I’d keep Kerry in even if he gets to a pitch count of 180?
McAdoo
E-ramis makes a bad throw to first, but Karros digs it out and Giles is hurt.
Nice play, Aramis!
Sheffield pops to Bako in foul ground.
Kerry’s pitch count is fluid. It’s one more than whatever’s he’s thrown.
The bullpen is closed.
Repeat.
The bullpen is closed.
0-2 count to Larry Wayne and the Cubs fans are standing and making a ruckus. We’re like the burnouts who follow the Dead.
Woody makes Larry look pathetic on a curve.
After six. Cubs 4, Braves 1.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Besides, we need to keep the bullpen rested if Dusty gets a strange idea like starting Shawn Estes in Game 4 of the NLCS.
McAdoo
I think Wood dropped two changes on Larry. If he gets that pitch wooking consistently, watch out NL.
B.C., are you taking my name punk???
No, just starting a cult.
Jaret Wright is in for Atlanta. Is Bobby going to use every pitcher? Who’s next Alejandro Pena or Kerry Ligtenberg?
Marcus Giles is out and some guy named Jesse Garcia is playing second. I’m going to be kind to Jesse.
He’s…fat.
I feel like I’m going to cry like a 4-year-old kid if I keep getting out to this Wood guy so I’m taking myself out of the game… Sorry Atlanta fans.
No, he’s taking my trademark
Sammy walks to lead off the seventh.
Gene Garber is up in the bullpen for the Braves.
Terry Forster just went to get a sandwich.
I’m not making this up.
Samuel Peralta Sosa just stole second base.
Sammy Sosa just stole second. No, I’m not kidding.
Sammy even gave it the Gary Matthews, Sr. helmet flip at second. Who are these guys? I hope they never leave. I can get used to this.
Now Andy and I are just channeling… I never thought it’d be so, um, disappointing…
Just kidding Andy.
Alou whiffs. One down.
I think he’s still in shock that Sammy’s at second.
Hey, Sammy, steal third!
E-ramis walks.
Karros whiffs. He swung and missed at a hanger for strike two. Should have killed it.
Two outs.
*I* got wood. oh, well, *I* don’t, but my husband does. Well, he will tonight!
BC, this just proves anybody can do this job.
Ramon is up now that he’s playing short.
Ramon takes strike three.
Sammy walked and stole second with nobody out and is left standing right there.
Wouldn’t want to make this easy, now would we?
After six and a half, Cubs 4, Braves 1.
Hey Kerry Wood’s wife, you’re repeating yourself.
Hmmm, a couple of minutes without updates – I knew that wasn’t converted…
Easy, no… This IS the Cubs!
Does anybody think Joe Buck would have called Sammy "Speedy" just minutes after stealing that base like he called Sammy "Corky" just minutes after corking the bat?
Did anybody else just hear the two consecutive cuss words Bobby Cox yelled out at the first base umpire? I love Fox…
"Stealy"
Druw whiffs on a check swing.
The field mic just picked up Bobby Cox giving some praise to first base ump Hunter Wendelstedt, I believe it was, "You’re a f@#$ing joke!"
Javy singles with one out.
tHom thinks this is the first time Kerry has used the stretch.
OK, he just corrected himself. First time since the second inning.
I was going to say, "What did he do after those walks?"
Froemming strike zone is huge. But that one was a nice pitch.
Fick reaches on a fielder’s choice, but Gruddy retires Javy at second. Two out.
Classic. Ortiz gets at least ten borderline calls tonight and Wood gets one and Fick goes all Terrell Owens on the umpire. Great…
McAdoo
I am mucho grande.
Viva 1982!
I am barely hangin’ on here…
Hey look! I’m sitting next to Kerry Wood’s wife! I even have my old Iowa Cubs hat on!
Somebody in Iowa please verify that it’s me.
I’m sorry, but I’ve got to announce the start of my Bob McAdoo cult… Man that guy was good. Of course, nobody’s better tonight than Kerry Wood. Or at least that’s what his wife has been saying. Over and over…
Oh, by the way, Vinny and his mullet went down on a called strike three. Froemming is calling anything close a strike for Kerry right now.
I can used to this, too.
After seven, it’s Cubs 4, Braves 1.
Whose knees are going to be weaker after the end of the night?
The Braves’ hitters?
Or you know who?
Kent Mercker is in for the Braves. How many pitchers have they used? Seventeen?
Kent Mercker? Really? I thought his arm fell off.
Mercker apparently bought out Chris Hammond’s deal with the devil. Hopefully it expired after game 162.
I think that should that be "Braves’ hitters’".
I’m gonna lick kerry’s ass tonite.
Bako takes a walk-o. Hey, I’ll be here all night! Enjoy Steppenwolf!
Kerry Lee Wood is up, and he’s bunting.
Hey, Elvis doesn’t open for anybody else, you don’t gut on Superman’s cape and Kerry doesn’t bunt.
The Cubs crowd is chanting Ker-ry! Ker-ry! Ker-ry!
Lyons is channeling Orville Overall.
Wood just bunted foul, struck out and yelled "F@!#!"
Lofton’s up with one out.
Oh, and Jeanne Zelasko just figured out that the Yankees lost this afternoon.
Orville Overall?
This game makes me want to do a fat chick tonite… who hoo!
Who cares when the last cubs pitcher was to drive in the game winning run in the postseason? What horseshit? Some stats are sooo stupid
Kent Mercker’s deal with the Devil ended… Oh that last pitch…
To the trainer: "Yeah, my arm just fell off. No, literally, I’m gonna need some gauze, some 40 weight oil and some ball bearings."
Trainer: "Ball bearings?"
Kent: "It’s all ball bearings these days!"
Merker can take as many warmups as he wants. He still sucks
"What are you doing, some stunt flying or something?"
Mercker’s arm is reattached, Lofton grounds into a 6-4-3 double play.
We head to the bottom of the eighth, still 4-1 Cubs.
before every inning, i take a drink of my magic water.
We get a strikeout and they get on base because it got away from Bako… I thought he was in there for defense… UGH!
Kurt Russell’s nephew, Matt Franco is pinch hitting for the demon spawn.
Franco strikes out, Bako kicks it away and Franco is on first. Bako has to catch that ball.
Woof.
Is it just me, or is everything connected with Kerry Wood tonight a piece of work??? His pitching, his wife…
Furcal strikes out.
Fox says his nickname is Fookee. Put an umlatt over one of those o’s and you’ve got an FCC violation on your hands.
Two strikeouts. One out.
Mark De Rosa is hitting for Jesse Garcia. You have to wonder, why did they use Garcia at all? Bobby Cox is a genius, isn’t he?
Just like his moronic protegee, Jimy Williams.
Mound conversation:
Bako: It’s Mark De Rosa, just throw him a damn strike and let’s get the double play.
Woody: OK.
Oops. Wood walks De Rosa.
Oh shit!
This has Kevin Tapani to Javy Lopez in 1998’s Game 2 written all over it.
Good first pitch
Nice
Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shit fire.
tHom just announced Sheffield 0-6 in his career against Wood.
Oh, shut up.
Kerry walks Sheffield.
Bases loaded and Remlinger is coming in.
Oh geez… This is getting serious Rolaids-time now.
Not only that, but Lyons says "dead red" WAY too often. Yeah, we get it, you played major-league ball . . .
ROLAIDS!! Now extra-illegal strength in the super-jumbo six-finger size for El Pulpo appearances.
Jones grounds to Ramon who forces the runner at second and I thought Gruddy finished the double play.
The replay shows it was a bad call. The inning should be over.
Twice. First on the passed ball on strike three to Franco, now on that. The Farns is coming in and it’s 4-2.
Two out.
Whew.
He was so out!!!!!!!!!!!
Bad call… replay shows him out.
Hey, throw the replay challenge flag. Where is it? It’s in my pants! Where’s Tony Wise when I need him?
It figures that to get out of this inning we have to face the man that killed the 1998 hopes… Javy Lopez. Call me when I get out of the bathroom after crapping my pants.
Oops, forgot my Atlanta lineup.
Farns walks Druw.
Bases loaded again.
Javy’s up.
Gulp.
Lyons wants to know if Borowski is ready in the bullpen.
Then they show the bullpen and Joe gets up and starts warming up.
What do you think, Steve?
Farns gets Javy Roidpez to ground to Ramon.
Cubs lead 4-2. Let’s get that run back!
We’re off to the ninth.
Thank you God, you still have a soul!
HE GONE
B.C.
Why do you go to the bathroom to crap your pants? Might as well do it right in front of the TV set.
Like I do.
Roberto Hernandez is in now. This ought to be good for a run or two.
Gruddy lines to De Rosa.
Sammy, we’d like a homer now, please.
Hawk, don’t bring that here.
Uh, Sammy?
Sammy gets a fourth of his homer, then gets nailed by Sheff trying to go to second.
Lyons likes it, tHom likes it. I do not.
He was out by five feet.
Even Wavin’ Wendell cringed on that.
Sosa steals one base and the thinks he is Carl Crawford.
Moises flies to Druw.
We go to the bottom of the ninth. Regular Joe is coming in and it’ll be
Fick
Mullet
Pinch hitter (Julio Franco?)
Will Dusty put in the defensive replacements?
He should.
Somebody for Aramis particularly.
He has been killing me with his defense tonight.
Fick shows bunt? Oh, just stop it.
Fick strikes out looking.
One out.
Aramis killed me with his defense, too.
I am as frozen as a popsicle…
Nice to see Fremming can’t decide his strike zone.
Vinny Mullet-ia is up. Joe probably pitched to him in the Mexican league.
The mullet singles.
Should have been caught.
Ramon Martinez can’t find his decent-fielding glove…
I’m ready to tie it up!!!!
Think Garvey back in 1984!!!!
I always thought it was Franco, not Fronco.
Julio Franco shows why the only people in baseball older than him are Moises Alou and Albert Pujols.
Two down.
Julio Franco pinch hits for Roberto Hernandez.
He did play in the last Cubs road win in the playoffs in 1945.
Julio strikes out swinging.
Two out.
HE GONE
One more strike!!
Yeah baby!!!!
Speaking of old guys, here’s Rafael Furcal.
Strike three.
CUBS WIN!!!!!!
Any guess who the Desipio.com player of the game is?
Let’s examine the nominees
a) Kerry Lee Wood — Winning pitcher, allowed two widdle hits and one earned run in seven and two thirds. Drove in two runs, had two hits and the game winning RBI.
b) Bob Fick — Kicked one in the sixth that started the rally.
c) Eliza Dushku, just because she’s hot.
Somebody needs to make sure Santo’s still alive…
1-0 Cubs in the series, with Andy’s man crush Carlos Zambrano going tomorrow night.
Aw, hell, let’s give it to Kerry.
And, Desipio’s record in live GameCasts of Cubs games is now 5-0.
Whew. I’m a wreck. Are all of these games going to be like this?
I guess we should hope so.
I think it should be A, Andy. Of course if you can find a picture of C that’d be nice too… ;-)
We have to go out there and kill the Braves.
Hey, Kerry’s wife is hot! Can I get a piece of that?
Eliza…
Hey, are the Braves just the playoff version of the Saint Louis Cardinals???
I just wanted to announce my presence with authority.
Hey, I think I did!
Hey Grace, you got to get through me and my Viagra first…
So, the happy totals
Cubs 4 runs, 10 hits, no errors
Braves 2 runs, 3…three goddmamn hits?, one error
The Cubs lead the best of five series one game to nothing.
We’ll be back here at 7 p.m. tomorrow night. See you there.
Go Cubs!
" I hope Mark Prior takes a line drive off the forehead and we never have to see him again" Cardinal scumbag Steve Kline, from an AP report
Hey Raffy, didn’t I see your beard in the Packers locker room? She mentioned something about "the end-around."
weeeeeeeeee!
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