Our good friend Al Yellon is the proud editor of a fine Cubs preview publication titled…well, actually that’s kind of what we’re confused about.
Check out the cover over here. Either Derrek Lee’s head is covering up a pretty important pair of letters, or this is the kind of magazine that just reinforces a very misguided stereotype about Wrigleyville’s resident Cubs fans.
And, as our buddy Jon Greenberg has pointed out, the fun on the cover doesn’t end there.
The subhead “The Ricketts Take Over” sounds like something that doomed a tallship trying to cross the Atlantic in the 1700s.
And as an Irish-American myself, I surely take offense to “Behind the Mic with Pat Hughes.”
And that’s not the end of the fun. No siree.
According to the page where you can order the magazine there’s an article inside by our old pal George Castle titled “You Just Have to Push It.” Sounds like a cover story, to me.
All of this almost makes me want to buy one.
Almost.
We don’t get it.
The Cubs Crack Staff: Meet Lou and his ass-istants
Bending Over Backwards: Ryan Theriot and Mike Fontenot go the extra mile for a Chicago Children’s Hospital
Roughest and Best Four Months of My Life: Jim Edmonds tells the story of his 2008 stint with the Cubs
Square Peg Meet Round Hole: Carlos Marmol’s adjustment mastering the end…of the game
Sure. Now you tell me, after I’ve signed with the Brewers
It costs $12.99? Is that Pesos?
This might make the Theriot arbitration hearing more fun.
“Bounce Back!”? Must be a cushy tushy to bounce off.
http://www.bleedcubbieblue.com/2010/2/10/1304309/2010-maple-street-press-cubs#30601735
Most. Disgusting. Reply. Ever!
“Maybe you should check out what’s inside, which is more important, I’d think. – Al”
That cover would have been better if it had been set with this as a postage stamp at top left:
http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/sheclone3.jpg
Man, Castle loves the double entendres:
Difficult Position — by George Castle
Sadly it’s not about Cindy Sandberg’s Cubs days.
This one definitely won’t suck:
Selling Jaramillo — by Joel Laarman
Kick back as Don Draper makes a pitch for Rudy Jaramillo.
Rudy Jaramillo: People keep saying that hitting coaches don’t matter, Don.
Don Draper: Says who? Just so you know, the people who talk that way think that monkeys can do this. They take all this monkey crap and just stick it in a briefcase completely unaware that their success depends on something more than their precious hitters left to their own devices. YOU are the product. You- FEELING something. That’s what sells. Not them. Not leaving dopey players to figure out hitting for themselves. They can’t do what we do, and they hate us for it.
The reason you haven’t felt it is because it doesn’t exist. What you call hitting was invented by guys like me, to sell game tickets. You’re born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I’m living like there’s no tomorrow, because there isn’t one.
What, no articles about scaffolding? What sort of Al Yellon sanctioned publication is this?
Random unrelated question. I was just thinking…what ever happened “The aught’s – Cubs best seasons of the 00′s” or whatever it was called. I enjoyed reading 2001 and 2003 and haven’t seen one since.
Stop Worrying About The Ring — by Sarah Spain
Or: How to learn to stop worrying and love the Cubs.
So, I’m assuming we’re supposed to embrace all the losing because omg you guyz isn’t Wrigley awesome?? Al published it in a heartbeat.
Have you seen the picture on BCB of paint drying? It’s on there. And you can tell from the picture which part of the park’s exterior has been painted (it’s brighter) and which hasn’t (it’s not as bright) Interesting stuff.
And if you’re really good, BCB will go by with a camera later and grab some shots of a tarp over construction materials.
*furiously masturbating at the aforementioned photos*
Leader of the Day Man
AL, I MUST KNOW THE CURRENT STATUS OF URINAL TROUGHS.