I didn’t expect to feel anything, but last night when I turned on Fox Sports Net and watched the Bulls and Raptors I felt two things:

1) It was good to have a real basketball team in Chicago again.

2) It was good to see Scottie Pippen back in the “real” red and black.

In my office there’s a huge Nike poster of Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman with the words “No Bull” on it. We all loved Michael, we all tolerated Dennis but Scottie had a special place. He was the wayward son who did just enough right to let you overlook his flaws.

Sit out the last 1.8 seconds of a playoff game? Forgiven (especially since the Foreign Exchange Student neighbor kid saved your bacon with a game winner.)

Get caught with a gun in your car? Forgiven (hey, you can help Marcus Fizer out!)

Father enought illegitimate children to fill the Rosemont Horizon? Forgiven (sure it’s Allstate Arena, but does anybody really call it that?)

Piss and moan about your contract, even though NBA rules prohibited the Bulls from re-doing it anyway? Forgiven (sure, $7 million sounds like a lot of money, but you’ve got to pay five percent to your agent, three percent to the accountant…)

But Scottie did so many things right. He ran the offense from the wing, he always found the open man, he took the other team’s best offensive player–regardless of position and shut them down, he never tugged on Superman’s cape, he was the perfect sidekick. Like Milt Palacio wrote in the comments section of Matt Turvey’s article today on the Antoine Walker trade (Milt Palacio?), sometimes it’s too easy to root for the Jordans of the world. Give us a slightly flawed superstar like Scottie.

MJ deserved our adulation.

Scottie earned it.

And it’s nice to have him back. Even if he is an older, beaten up version of his former self. Some things just feel right and look right.

A red Bulls jersey with a big 33 looks right, right now.
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When I was a kid no college basketball team captured my attention like the 1988-89 Fighting Illini, better known thanks to our friend Dick Vitale as “The Flying Illini.” A team made up solely of 6’4-6’8 Illinois kids who played great defense, couldn’t shoot a lick and somehow managed to run a backpick for alley oop dunks like 12 times a game, they did all the cool stuff.

They were ranked #1 for a week after an OT win over Georgia Tech.

They didn’t win the Big Ten but got the number one seed in the NCAA’s anyway.

Kenny Battle did a 360 at Northwestern that still has the rim shaking.

They destroyed, not just beat, but destroyed Michigan twice in the regular season.

Their sixth man was supposedly the greatest player in Illinois high school history. We know now that it was a myth.

They had the funky little coach with the horrible comb over.

They punked Bobby Knight in Bloomington, on senior day, and a Nick Anderson 30-foot three pointer denied the Hoosiers a Big Ten title.

Battle would get in his man’s jock and not leave for 40 minutes.

They were so thoroughly balanced on defense that they would switch on every screen and the other team never got a mismatch to exploit.

Anderson took over a late season game so throughly that Vitale screamed, “Nick Anderson won’t let them lose!”

They’d have won the Big Ten and probably the national title if Kendall Gill hadn’t broken his foot in that win over Georgia Tech.

They spit the bit in the semis against that same Michigan team, proving once and for all that the biggest opponent the Wolverines had that year was Bill Frieder.

And so, while I’m giddy that Scottie is back, part of me is just really happy that Kendall Gill is finally a Bull.

Granted, he never became the superstar it looked like he was destined to be. He went to Seattle, got SADD and then bounced from club to club. But he’s still got some game, and it’s just nice to have him around.

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A few things about your 2003-2004 Bulls. I’m woefully disappointed that by issuing a pair of numbers, it’s obvious that two of the greatest Bulls in history are not going to have their numbers retired.

Linton Johnson is wearing number 8, in a show of blatant disrespect for Dickey Simpkins.

Roger Mason, Jr. gave his old number, 12, to Kirk Hinrich and is wearing 31, and somewhere, Granville Waiters is wailing at the sky, “Why? What more do I have to do?”

Tom Dore said last night that Eddie Robinson has the perfect shooting stroke. I nearly had a stroke when I heard that. Eddie Robinson? Really? Oh, Tom, there has to be some limits to your Bulls fan boy act, doesn’t there?

Johnny “Red” Kerr was on his game last night, but it’s early and the senility will creep back into the act. But when it does, it often produces hilarious results, like when he describes a shot that rolls around the rim and falls off, a “rim job.”

Eddy Curry spent the night working on his 15 foot jumper (not good, but he ever starts making them, he’ll be completely unguardable–which’s he’s already pretty close to) and making all 10 of his free throws.

Linton Johnson has kind of a “Cliff Levingston without the charm” quality about him. I like him.

Jamal Crawford will be great when the Bulls finally launch Bill Cartwright. Take my word for it. Cartwright doesn’t trust him, but he should.

The Bulls have no backup for Curry. Granted, Tyson Chandler was out with his “facet syndrome”, but even though he’s 7’1 he’s not a center. So they use Corie Blount in the middle when Eddy’s on the bench to rest or in foul trouble. This, is not a good thing. Corie Blount is like an orange cone on the freeway, you see him, but there’s nothing he can do to really get in your way.

The starting lineup when everybody’s healthy will be Jamal Crawford, Jalen Rose, Scottie Pippen, Tyson Chandler and Eddy Curry. That’s 6’6, 6’8, 6’8, 7’1, 7’0. That’s pretty freakin’ big.

The Bulls actually played some defense last night. Not much, but some. The biggest difference, they seem to actually be trying to play defense. That’s a very good sign.

However, they almost lost the game when in the final seconds, nobody came out on Milt Palacio (there’s that name again) so he drove to the lane, then both Curry and Marcus Fizer collapsed on him and he made an easy pass to Chris Bosh for a dunk. Honestly, it’s the kind of defense that would get you benched on a junior high team. But they’re improving.

Then again, they had nowhere to go but up in that department.

Would it kill Fox Sports Net to have Gail Fisher do the Pre and Post? She’s not exactly Jessica Simpson, but she’s no Damon Andrews either. Yikes.

Nobody says “att-i-tude” quite like Norm Van Lier. Besides, he hasn’t chased a landscaper with a shovel for like four years now.

That’s a long story. But a good one. But I think you can figure it out.

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As of this writing we have 11 people signed up for the Desipio Fantasy Basketball League on Yahoo! We can fit as many as 20, but that seems a little extreme, so we’ll probably hold it to 15 or less. But if you want to sign up, you’re more than welcome. I’ll make the league “live” on Friday, which means everybody who signs up needs to reorder their draft list by then.

http://basketball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/nba
Desipio Basketball League
ID: 124445
Password: yikes

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Jessica just e-mailed me to tell me that a) Chicken of the Sea is apparently tuna (I didn’t know either, Jess) and that b) Buffalo wings are not made of large bovine like creatures. Thanks, hun.

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I don’t get her husband, Nick Lachey. I never listened to 98 degrees, and I know I’ll never hear one of his songs now that he’s solo. But in the few things they show on “Newlyweds” he’s about as talented as Dustin Diamond.

What I do like is that he’s in his mid-30s (ok, early 30s) and his wife is a superhot, newly deflowered virgin, and she’s loaded. What I don’t like is that her dad comes over to the house, watches footage from her new video and says, “Now that’s sexy!” Creepy.

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I watched some of espn2’s new morning show, Cold Pizza today and I’m still trying to stop the blood from oozing out of my eyes. The host is some guy with teeth roughly the size of a Land Rover, and the female “host” is Kit Hoover.

Kit Hoover?

I’m not even making this up. She’s a former Fox News correspondent, oh and former MTV Road Rules contestant.

You knew this show sucked when they had no idea how to promo it. “Here’s Kit, she’s the co-host of Cold Pizza and she likes to…dance!”

She’s cute though. There’s no denying that.

So yeah, I’ll watch it tomorrow.

But that’s because I’m easy.

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Rosey starts us off today.

Chris Chandler will get the start Sunday against the Lions. The Bears had to announce this today so that the mechanic can change the oil in the ambulance.

The Sox have narrowed their search to Ozzie Guillen (yappy and annoying) and Cito Gaston (comatose). Honestly, it’s Cito Gaston just Gene Lamont with two World Series rings? He’s never likely to get the third one.

Linton Johnson is about to become a household name. That household is in Alsip.

Kevin (expletive) O’Neill has the (expletive) Raptors playing (expletively) hard. (Expletive!)

Coach Ditka and Marv Levy will co-host some stuff for the NFL Channel. Great, a cable channel has better football minds on it than the Bears do.

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to say the Sox should hire Ozzie. I’ll bet Jay already wrote his first “fire Guillen” column, too.

Anybody who thinks the Bulls won’t trade Eddie Robinson this week, raise your hand! Anybody? Anybody?

Groucho says the Bulls have no excuses.

Peter May explains why Danny Ainge traded Antoine Walker.

The Rockets have a new coach and new uniforms. But they still have Maurice Taylor and he still won’t rebound.

Stewey thinks Steve Spurrier should go back to Duke. I think Stewey should go back to editing the agate pages on the Aurora Beacon News.

Great. Vlad Guerrero says he wouldn’t mind playing for the Yankees.

Scott Layden is trying to trade Othella Harrington (who’s hurt) and Travis Knight (who sucks–and needs a haircut). Good luck, Scotty.

Rodney White thinks Nuggets teammates Junior Harrington and Jeff Trapagnier are gay. OK, not really. This is how much I don’t care about the World Series. I watched a documentary on the Nuggets training camp on NBA TV instead. Yikes.

Pammy Lee says she’s only got ten years to live.

Intrepid reader Doug Selky sent me a link to a different article about David Gest suing Liza Minelli for $10 million because she “beat him up.” Gest claims that when Minelli was drunk, “the alcohol gave her remarkable force and strength.” Sort of like when The Hulk gets mad, I suppose.

The Smoking Gun has the actual papers.

TV execs can’t figure out why ratings are down. Because you’re giving us lots of crappy shows! Plus, we all have TiVo now so we don’t have to watch your crap when you try and force it down our throats. Viva TiVo!

Finally, women can pee standing up. You’re welcome.

America’s finest news source on Gubernator Schwarzenegger.