Tuesday night some of Tony LaRussa’s friends got together and roasted him for charity.  Now that seems like a good idea.  Who better than to take pot shots at than a self-important, overrated douche like Tony LaRussa, right?

The problem is that when you assemble a humorless band of dopes like Bob Knight, Billy Bob Thornton, Jim Leyland and Steve Kline, what you really end up with is just a long line of suck.

You have to watch the “highlights” that Fox Sports Midwest posted because they’re honestly even worse than you could ever imagine.

Among the things you’ll see:

– Bob Knight doing not one, but two Bob Newhart phone bits, neither of which are remotely clever or funny.  I admire Bob’s comedy strategy.  He just figures if he acts mad enough long enough that people will start to laugh out of the sheer discomfort of the situation and then he’ll feel like he accomplished something.  What a shock that this asshole and LaRussa are pals.

– Jim Leyland’s story drones on so long and has such a painful payoff that for a moment I thought he was re-enacting his tenure as Rockies manager

– Mike Shannon is really phoning it in, he doesn’t even come up with a joke, he just tells a story that anybody who’s ever seen a commercial for the best of “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson” DVD set has heard 12,000 times.

– Of all of the “roasters” only Kline seems to understand what the purpose of a roast is, as he actually insults Tony, but he’s not remotely funny.  He’s just a dick, like we all knew he was when he pitched.  Oh, and he’s got to be 280 pounds, which only surprises those of us who figured he’d be even fatter than that by now.

The one real highlight is a spot on impression a guy from one of the local St. Louis stations does of Tony, but he’s sharing the stage with John Rooney and his terrible and completely unfunny Harry Caray impression, so even that has the life sucked out of it.

Basically, it’s just as terrible as you expect it to be.  Ryan Theriot’s going to fit right in.