Check out this video from 1991 from the night Andre Dawson lost his shit at Joe West and threw half the bats in the bat rack onto the field. It’s just all kinds of awesomeness, when you consider who is in it:
A completely in her prime Alison Payne starts things off, and it only gets better when Dan Roan wanders in from a Jimmy Buffett concert to do a live report from Wrigley. Dan’s just starting to lose his hair so he’s in full mullet mode to compensate.
Dan makes an oh-so-timely (even in 1991) Mt. St. Helens reference to kick things off.
Then we see Andre get rung up by Joe West on a Norm Charlton pitch that’s conservatively 12 feet outside. Andre goes off starts yelling, gets tossed, shoves Joe and George Bell wanders in from the gas station in the DR he’s been managing to half-heartedly try to keep Andre from strangling Joe.
Jim Essian makes an appearance, looking refreshingly confused. Then we get a shot of Andre in the dugout throwing bats onto the field. Of course I remembered all of that, but for some reason had forgotten that the incident that happens next happened the same night.
By that, I mean Rick Wilkins somehow got to third base. How in the hell did that happen? Did he get airlifted there?
Wait, no that’s the not the important part. How about Doug Dascenzo successfully getting down a squeeze bunt, and it just happens to be the time that Rob Dibble intentionally hits him in the legs with the throw? This might be the greatest night in sports history.
West throws Dibble out of the game and Lou Piniella comes out to argue with Joe. To think the two greatest managers in Cubs history were in opposing dugouts that night (wearing the same number, no less…kismet!)
Who goes over to explain to Dibble that he’s been tossed? Eric Gregg! This is like a Cannonball Run movie with all the cameos.
Take a moment to appreciate the way Roan is sitting while he does his on field report. He’s propped up on one asscheek with his legs crossed and I’m pretty sure he’s blinking out a message in Morse code to the ladies at home that says, “Why yes, people do tell me I look like Loverboy lead singer Mike Reno. Meet you in the bar at The Drake at 10:15.”
Andre does his postgame interview shirtless, even though he was thrown out of the game like an hour earlier. He never looked more like Eriq LaSalle in Coming to America in his life.
And then, it gets better. How many of you watched Andre throw the bats on the field and said to yourself, “He’s pissed, but not like the day Eric Show hit him in the face, and then he had to pick up a couple of teeth then chase Show down and beat the shit out of him?”
Andre gets asked if this night’s incident is the most upset he’s been on the field during the course of a baseball game and he says, “Probably the Eric Show incident.” Muahahahaha.
Then Andre blames Joe West’s shit eating grin for the reason he had to throw the bats on the field. I’m convinced. Suspend Joe West for shit eating!
Then we get bonus Sox coverage. Joey Cora beats the Blue Jays and Tom Candiotti with a single to score the beautiful Ron Karkovice as Hawk pulls his pants down in the booth and starts bleating.
And then Dan reads the rest of he scores to us, because apparently we can’t do that ourselves.
They gave him five minutes that night. Hell, 21 years later, he’s lucky to give five minutes a week, on the All-Skilling all-the-time WGN News at Nine.
BONUS: How about the fact that the video starts with what appears to be Roy Leonard’s ghost? I’m sure he was just wrapping up an insightful and glowing review of that summer’s big hit…Hudson Hawk.