This is the kind of shit that we’re really going to miss when funnyman righthander Ryan Dempster is walking seven guys in three and a third in a playoff game this fall.
Dempster’s been a durable pitcher for the Cubs, though several of his seasons have ended early when he blew out a hamstring running to any camera with a light on top of it. And my sources tell me** that the Cubs actually had a trade worked out yesterday morning, but Dempster refused to waive his 10-5 rights to allow the trade to go through because he wanted to hang with Zach and Will last night. I mean, how can you not put your career ahead of a chance to pay back the restaurant that waives the banquet room fee for your charity events, by eating one of their pizzas on the Wrigley Field mound, before a game, with the stars of Out Cold** and Curious George?
I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m sure somebody has a hilarious video of Ferrell and Dempster trading awful Harry Caray impressions.
Oh, how we’ll miss Ryan Dempster.***
* – I just made the stuff up about Dempster turning down a trade to hang around one more day to meet Galafanakis and Ferrell, but it seems plausible, right?
** – I liked Out Cold enough that I bought a copy of it.
And, hey, Lee Majors is in it!
*** – My dislike of Dempster has always been irrational, but it stems from a very real place. His role in the Victor Diaz debacle the second to last Saturday of the 2004 season and his pants-shitting in his Game One start against the Dodgers in 2008. I appreciate how he’s pitched out of his mind so far this year to dramatically, and artificially spike his trade value. Fact is, he’s 35, his numbers dropped in every major category for four straight years and I’d be shocked if his regression to the mean doesn’t start post-haste. Congratulations to whatever team trades for the guy with the 1.86 ERA and “great clubhouse chemistry” and gets a guy with a handful of terrible impressions, lame magic tricks, and an ERA likely to be on the wrong side of five the rest of the way.