Fine, you talked us into it. Sunday evening we’ll give you the Desipio GameCast combo of Super Bowl XXXVIII and the premiere episode of Survivor: All Star. So, if you think you can tolerate us for about five hours, stop on by. Heck, even if you think you can’t, stop on by.
That’s right, even at the risk of our high powered legal team having to defend us against the meanies from the NFL we’re going to dare call the big game by it’s real name. The SUPER BOWL! Whoo! I feel like such a rebel.
There are things that make you want to laugh and things that make you want to leave a flaming bag of dog poo on somebody’s porch. Today, I say we find a diarrhetic St. Bernard and head on over to Phil Rogers’ house.
Did you catch the latest piece of fiction he’s brewed up for us? In today’s Tribune he says that the Yankees are looking for somebody to replace NBA Developmental League wannabe Aaron Boone to play third base. He starts off with a nonsensical, but not completely outrageous rumor that the Yankees might trade for Jose Valentin. It’s not outrageous, but it’s too dumb for the Yankees to seriously consider.
Then, things get hilarious.
Rogers says there’s talk (in his own head–maybe) of a three way trade that would include the Angels trading 2002 World Series MVP Troy Glaus to the Yankees, the Yankees sending some prospects to the Angels and White Sox and the Sox sending Paul Konerko and Valentin to the Angels for Jarrod Washburn and Darin Erstad. Excuse me while I laugh until I pass out.
Honestly, this thing is just so stupid and unrealistic that you couldn’t even get this thing Speedy Deliveried to the Neighborhood of Make Believe.
First off, even if the Angels are in love with hot shot third base prospect Dallas McPherson, he’s not ready to play third base and the Angels aren’t dumb enough to want Valentin playing there while he develops. Secondly, did the robust .211 that Konerko hit against the Angels last year or the .171 that he hit against them in 2002 cause them to put them on the top of their “we don’t need a first baseman, but if we did, it’d be this guy” list?
Plus, the Angels are clearly playing to win now. They didn’t steal Bart Colon away from the Sox to then give them Jarrod Washburn.
The only surprising part of this column is that he didn’t have Alex Rodriguez involved in the trade. I thought by rule every trade rumor Phil had, had to have one prominent Ranger in it? I suppose he thinks just mentioning the first name “Dallas” filled that quota?
Look, you know Phil Rogers is a lightweight moron and I know that he’s a lightweight moron, but for some reason both the Tribune and ESPN feel the need to give this guy run in their publications. It just goes to show once again that we’re too smart for this crap.
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Last night ESPN Classic did a half-assed job of a SportsCentury on the Bears’ 46 defense. Some of the stuff they had was great. They had Gary Fencik reminicing about the 1984 playoff game when Todd Bell “killed Joe Washington.” They had some great footage of Tony Eason and Tommy Kramer trying to dig a hole in the turf and get into it to avoid getting hit again. Danny White admitted that when he played the Bears he just tried to “get rid of the ball as fast as I could.” We even got to see that Eric Hipple has apparently eaten Joe Ferguson.
But the whole thing was just lacking something. These were the circa 1985 Bears, the most feared defense ever put on any football field. By the end of it, you got the feeling they weren’t that great. But we know better. We were there.
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Rosey on lots of stuff, and he tells us to all go out and see “Miracle.” Yes, sir.
In fact, I could watch this freakin’ trailer all day.
I’m just stupid enough to think that a year that starts with a “Miracle” in February, might end with one in October.
Jon Lieber has just started throwing off a mound. He was a good pitcher for the Cubs, but I just never warmed to the guy. He had a little too much Matt Clement in him. When the going got tough, he looked for an ankle to sprain or a slider to hang. I hope he does well in New York for the Yankees, but he’s got Ed Whitson written all over him.
Ed Sherman on the Super Bowl and stuff.
Jim Hendry fell down the stairs. How much you want to bet that Scott Boras pushed him?
David Huh was worried that Brian Urlacher would get hurt throwing Johnny Fair Play out of a wrestling wring. Urlacher’s more likely to get hurt doing filmwork with Paris Hilton than throwing around a 120 pound man-sissy.
John Jackson is still pissing and moaning about CBS using the “trail” cam thing too much three weeks ago. Get over it, anybody who plays Madden or NCAA College Football on the X-Box or PS2 is used to that. Suck it up. It’s a TV football game. Cuh-rist.
Dewey LaMarr Hoyt is getting a third chance with the Sox as a spring training instructor. Hell, him and Rich Dotson would still be the second and third best starters on this team.
Pudge has a bad back. Who didn’t know that? Do you really think a guy who could be a Hall of Fame catcher goes on the open market in back to back years and can’t get a sniff doesn’t have something wrong with him?
Stewey’s not so sure that Illinois can make the NCAAs. I watched the Bruce Weber show yesterday and it is so bad it’s hilarious. They actually do a “Grillin’ with Weber” segment in which he gives some of his favorite “grill” recipes. They all seem to include taking some uncooked meat and putting it on the grill. Wow!
The Warriors and Blazers are working on a Nick Van Exel and Erick Dampier for Rasheed Wallace trade. I’m going to start laughing now. That’s like trading Aleve for Tylenol. Your headache’s still there, it’s just different.
Brett Favre wants Warren Sapp to play in Green Bay. If those two ever unite the gates of Hell will open and swallow us all.
John Kerry still denies he had botulism. If he hasn’t had Botox treatments…he ought to.
In Alabama it’s OK to love your daughter. Just don’t LOVE your daughter.
America’s finest news source says that President Gee Dub is promising to restore dignity to the White House. It’s about time.
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to explode all over the street.
the best part of phil’s article is that the yankees essentially give up nothing for glaus. first, the yankees don’t even have any prospects in their non existant farm system. as for paying koch’s salary, didn’t intermin commissioner for life selig stop them from doing the very same thing with boone last season? what a assclown.
My favorite segment of the Bruce Weber Show is the horribly scripted "Bruce’s Breakdown Tip of the Day". The coach clearly reads of cue cards as Nick Smith shows the young players how to develop a routine at the free-throw line.
The Baseball Bunch, it’s not.
They’re having "sneak previews" of "Miracle" throughout the country Saturday night. I plan on attending.
I pushed Hendry down the stairs. And, I hope we never hear from that guy again.
Jim,
Are you still depressed about Daryll Kile too?
On the Weber Show I watched last night, the tip of the day involved pulling up for a jump shot. Not only did Weber clearly read the tips off a cue card, but they couldn’t show the results of Aaron Spears’ jumpers, because I don’t think any of them went in.
Oh, and if you live in the wilderness surrounding Desipio World HQ, there isn’t a Miracle sneak preview in sight on Saturday. Booooo!
I’m still dead.
A guy has a $3 Million dollar violin, but travels on Amtrak?
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=529&ncid=529&e=11&u=/ap/20040130/ap_en_ot/people_kremer
I’ve heard Joe Randa to the Yankmees as well, and I am sooooooooooooooo disappointed to not be able to chime in during Sunday’s festivities…. Blech!
The Tribune company just cancelled Sharon’s TV show!
Don’t they know I’m the Prince of ####### Darkness?
I’ll curse the Cubs for another ####### 100 years.
And, I’m not singing that ####### song again, either.
Ozzy, I was there the first time, and technically, you didn’t sing the song then either.
Here’s some more of Phil Rogers fine handiwork, this time for ESPN.com. Interesting that he’s got both The Genius and Jimy listed as managers on the "hot seat".
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=rogers_phil&id=1721918
Hey, does anyone know what Dave B is doing on Saturday?
oh wait…..
Aaron Spears shooting jumpers is unintentionally hilarious, not only because he isn’t a jump-shooter, but because he may be the one player in basketball history that fills his shoes with concrete before he plays a game. Or at least that’s what seems to be his problem. Or something like that…
Phil,
Thanks for not putting me on the list!
Wow. There isn’t even a scratch on the Vespa.
Anybody watch CSI yesterday? That was about the weirdest damn thing I ever saw.
Check Vespa’s back.
So… I tried to eat a pecker but gave up because it was too chewy.
But, I want to make sure I get this fact out. I am not gay.
I was young and I needed the money. I know now it was a mistake to make that video.
yeah I saw CSI, the one with the people in the animal costumes right? That was some weird S#!%
All I know is that this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds while he just STANDS there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him with LIGHT coming out of his mouth!
The Lo Mc character would cut you three times ’til Tuesday before you even knew what you knew.
Shut up, Mr. Burton! You were not put upon this world to "Get it."
Test, this is a test.
Test, this is a test.
to Dave B. – while we all wish Jim Hendry a speedy recovery, his injury sure puts a damper on the Hawkeye baseball banquet tomorrow night. The Sunday Gazette informs us that the owner of the Iowa Cubs will replace Jim Hendry. **I can’t think of a single question I need for you to ask him, but enjoy your $90 dinner. Cheers.
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