Draftastic!The night the Cubs have been waiting for, since this time last year is here.  It’s the first day (night, actually) of the 2013 Major League Baseball Rule 4 Draft.  The Cubs have the second pick in the draft thanks to being the second worst team in baseball last year (yay, ineptitude!)  Who will they take?

Fireballing Stanford right hander Mark Appel, who reminds scouts of another west coast brunette with big calves and dreamy mechanics.  Mark Prior?  David Hasselhoff? You decide.

Oklahoma amphetamine enthusiast Jonathan Gray?  This big Okie can throw a ball 100 miles per hour while studying for a remedial math test, scrubbing the floors in his on-campus apartment and obsessively checking for tornadoes.

Desipio’s personal favorite Colin Moran is also in the mix for the top spot.  This sweet swinging third baseman doesn’t have the raw power you might look for in a corner infielder, but he shows great plate discipline, and is a pretty solid defender.  Our own draft expert is a little worried about Colin’s baseball sense though:

Where's your Camaro?

And the other player considered to be in the mix for the Cubs pick is University of San Diego third baseman Kris Bryant.  Despite the NCAA changing from dangerous aluminum bats (players often forgot they weren’t microwavable) to composite bats made of old Delorean quarter-panels and suet, which greatly cut down on the home run totals this year, Bryant outhomered 200 other college teams by himself.  Bryant is not the defender Moran is, but offensively is just as big league ready.

It’s going to come down to one of the pitchers though, because the Cubs already have third base locked down for the next decade.

Wait, who?

No, not him.

valbuena-wood-grandslam

So kick back, grab a cold one (or 30 the draft takes a couple of days) and watch the 2018 World Champion Cubs take shape.  Or, don’t.  Because all drafts are boring, but the baseball one is the fucking worst.