Insanity Workout finally gets the perfect pitchman

Posted on Nov 7, 2013 in Media Hacks, MLB |


There are a lot of fitness video programs out there.  Some work, some don’t, but the ones that sell, sell because they get results and because they have a great pitchman.

Take P90X for instance.  After taking the summer off to drink beer, I’m back on round three, and while I have done the workouts over and over by now, I find it amazing that I am not annoyed by Tony Horton or his admittedly lame jokes.  I mean this is a guy who says stuff like, “There is no part one or part two.  This is part two.”  He’s also the guy who at the beginning of the Plyometrics workout introduces Erik Stolhanske (who you may know as Rabbit from Super Troopers) as having only one leg, and Eric points out his prosthesis.  Just seconds later, during a stretch Tony says, “Now let’s do the other leg, because we have two of them.”  Well, not everybody, Tony.

Anyway, where is this going?  Well, if you have a TV, you’ve seen the infomericals for Insanity.  Where a bunch of hot chicks and ripped guys jump around showing off their abs.  Well, Insanity has finally found the perfect pitchman.  Check out who it is.

You are goddamn right it’s Hank White.

Because nobody says high intensity workout like our man Hank:

Hank White

Oh, and if you need another reason to love Hank (and you don’t) this season, in what was likely his last as a big league player, Hank hit his first grand slam in 13 years to give the Mariners a 4-0 win in a game in June.

Just two months later, Hank did it again.  And check out who he hit it off.  Another reason why he’s the best.

You can hear a couple of snickering idiots in the background wondering how Hank even “gets around the bases.”  The sumbitch does Insanity, that’s how!