I did not have access to the “U” last night, so I spent most of the night retooling the Desipio home page (not that I’ve published the changes yet) and listening to Pat and Ron. Pat kept making excuses for the Cubs saying things like, “Nobody could hit that pitch,” or “Jason Schmidt has some great stuff tonight,” and “Wow, this coffee just goes right through me!” Or something.
Anyway, the game sounded painful, and I did manage to catch the last four innings of Randy Johnson’s perfect game, which caused me to make the following observations.
1) Randy Johnson is without a doubt the greatest lefthanded pitcher, over 6’9, with a mullet of all time.
2) Mark Grace makes Joe Carter sound like Denzel Washington.
You know things are bad when you find yourself pining for the tHom Brennaman-Steve Lyons combo in the booth.
It was torture to listen to, and because of Grace I found myself rooting for the Braves to get a hit, if only to rob Grace of the pleasure of getting to announce a perfect game.
But I will say that the Braves had no chance last night. Just none. They’ve had a fun couple of days, huh? On Sunday Ben Sheets struck out 18 of them and that the was the “good” game in the sequence. I think Bobby Cox should blame it on new second baseman Nick Green.
Nick Green? Really? Wasn’t he Mallory’s boyfriend on “Family Ties?”
I thought so.
Today the torches are being lit, the effigy is being constructed and hordes of angry Cubs fans are on the prowl demanding that Corey Patterson be benched. We’ve been through this, in a surprisingly (for us) thoughtful discussion on Monday. Hey, I’m all for sitting Corey down for a game or two, but the long term solution is not on the roster. You can’t have Jose Macias pressing his luck by getting too many at bats, and Tom Goodwin is just bad. Besides, now might not be the best time to mess with the outfield, considering the big guy in right field got the needle to the spine last night.
For those of you who want to see Todd Hollandsworth in center, I can only imagine you are not going to be standing on the pitcher’s mound wearing a Cubs jersey any time soon.
Schmidt threw 144 pitches last night. I’m all for letting a guy deal when he’s got good stuff, but 144? You wonder if he and his arm will be heading back to San Francisco on seperate flights?
Patterson wasn’t the only Cub who couldn’t hit him last night. Nobody did, really. When your only hit is a hustle infield hit by your catcher, it’s a bad night.
Lefthander Kirk Rueter (though Fred Huebner thinks otherwise) takes the mound tonight, and there ought to be a fight at the bat rack to get at his 5.52 ERA, so all should be well.
In today’s Daily Herald, The Wizard of Roz says that both the Cubs and Sox should be in the hunt for Carlos Beltran, and he says that the Sox have a better shot at him. Apparently glue’s not just for sticking things together in the Daily Herald newsroom.
Rozner contends that the Sox have an advantage because:
a) Kenny Williams is aggressive
b) The Sox have good, ready to be major leaguers in the minors
c) They’ll take on cash
He says the Cubs are at a disadvantage because they’d “have” to include Corey and The Farns and they’re too expensive, either now or in the near future.
You and I both know all of this is a pile of hooey.
a) Kenny Williams is aggressive, sure. So is my cat, but he couldn’t get a deal done for Carlos, either. Unless of course Allard Baird is big on cat toys and tuna fish.
b) The Sox have some pretty promising outfielders in the minors (none are named Joe, however), but the Royals have said they don’t need an outfielder in the package, they want pitching.
c) Had the Sox been willing to take on cash last year in their trades for the decaying corpse of Roberto Alomar and the always insane Carl Everett, they’d have been able to make both deals while giving up lesser prospects. The Sox don’t take on money, they dump it. Instead the Mets and Rangers were on the hook for large amounts of cash in both deals and were able to get higher valued prospects in the trades.
The Cubs made deals last year for Kenny Lofton, Aramis Ramirez, Jose Hernandez, Randall Simon, Tony Womack, etc., and give up nothing because they took on whatever salary the players were still owed. It’s an advantage the “big market” teams can exploit. Maybe some day the Sox will realize they’re one of the big market teams. Until then, don’t bet on a move like this.
Besides, if you’re the Royals and you have the biggest commodity at the trade deadline, do you send him to a division rival? I didn’t think so.
As for what Rozner and one of his readers says at the end of the article about the Scott Rolen deal, it’s nothing we didn’t cover here on Monday. Save yourself the trouble.
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Kevin Garnett is in hot water because he said some absurd things about “going to war” with the Kings tonight. Athletes throw inane war references around all the time. We love it when Carlos Zambrano threatens to kill opponents. But even KG had to admit he went too far, and that, well, what he said was just dumb.
“This is it,” he said. “It’s for all the marbles. I’m sitting in the house loading up the pump, I’m loading up the Uzis, I’ve got a couple of M-16s, couple of nines, couple of joints with some silencers on them, couple of grenades, got a missile launcher. I’m ready for war.”
Somebody liked his GI Joe a little too much growing up, didn’t he?
Would he be in more trouble if he’d said, “This is it. It’s for all the marbles. We’re going to detain the Kings and I’m going to strip Vlade Divac down and put a pillowcase on his head and put a leash on him and lead him around the gym! Then, I’m going to force Brad Miller, Peja and C-Webb to make a naked pyramid. Then, I’m going to tie Doug Christie to a chair and have one of our cheerleaders give him a lap dance, and I’ll let his wife bring out the WMDs on his ass!”
Probably not. And wouldn’t that quote have been more fun?
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Thanks for hitting the Google ads. Now that you’re good at it. Keep it up!
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Drew Lawrence sent this along yesterday and I forgot to link to it. It seems that Willie Gault is a real thespian after all. (Snicker, snicker) As long as he has the talents of Tim Wrightman and Mike Tomczak along side. Oh, this is bad.
Last night could have been worse. Just ask the Braves.
Kerry says he doesn’t care about pitch counts. Though he then says his should be 120.
Darren Baker only needs 800 more homers to get to 800.
Sammy’s always hurt. Jeesh. OK, so he’s still hardly ever hurt.
Yesterday somebody asked if there any columnists we actually like. There are a lot, actually. That doesn’t mean we always have nice things to say about them. The Wizard of Roz is one, Steve Rosenbloom is another. Even if Rosey has been completely shafted by the Tribune. My personal favorites are Tony Kornheiser and TJ Simers. But that’s just me.
Rick Morrissey is not on the list.
Rick Telander peaked 10 years ago. Most guys retire. He just keeps writing one sentence paragraphs and cashing checks.
Nomar would look nice on the Cubs’ DL next year. Maybe it could be a package deal and Mia could punt for the Bears?
Tim Kirkkjlkjkkjljl;k on the nutty guys in baseball. Hey, Mitch Williams made the list.
Niedermeyer! Dead!
Marmalard! Dead!
Wormer! Dead!
Tony Randall…
Speaking of Tony Kornheiser, George Costanza is going to play him on TV. Really.
America’s finest news source says that prescription-only sandwiches are delicious!
Being part of the 2% of the country that gets the "U" I can tell you that Schmidt was on last night. It was nice of Clement to pitch well and make it an interesting game until the last out (thanks also to Pedro Feliz for his Dwight Smith impression on the basepaths; otherwise, it’d be a 2-0 final), when Schmidt’s arm was adhered to his shoulder with chewing gum, Red Man, and twine, but from early on, it was obvious to anybody watching the game that he would be tough to beat.
As for Corey, his problem, in my eye, has been his nonchalnt attitude. The only run scored on a sinking liner from Feliz. If William Van Landingham happened to have been pitching for the Giants, then I say, yeah, concede the run,and keep Feliz on first base, but the way Schmidt was dealing, it was important for Patterson to come in charging the ball, scoop it and fire it home to try ot nail Barry’s fat ass and keep the game tied at nil. Instead, he waited for the ball to bounce to him, and then acted all surprised that Bonds was rounding third, and so he proceeded to make a throw that would make Corky Thatcher proud.
It barely reached the pitcher’s mound.
He seems to not want to embarass himself, which is why he didn’t charge the ball, in case it got by him, but he ended up embarasing himself anyway with his retarded throw.
I don’t think Corey should she s***t-canned liek a lot of people are suggesting here. I agree that he’ll be good. But sooner or later, someone’s got to get through to this guy.
Sooner would be nice.
Barry Rozner,
Where is the always inane quote from my client concluding your always inane article?
Yeah, well at least I’m quoted again,& I’m a helluva lot smarter than any of you. Grudz for Beltran? You bet!!!
And if BC ever gets a column, my brother Himanshu will be happy to be a frequesnt contributor.
Just because I happen to be Martin Tupper Jr…….Mallory’s boyfriend was Nick Moore.
U’z can get us fine if U move out of the sticks.
Anyone else think I should move up in the lineup? Why am I still hitting down here when Sammy’s out?
I think it should be:
1)Walker
2)Lee
3)Alou
4)A-Ram
5)Barrett
6)Martinez
7)Patterson
8)Dubois*
*I think this is a perfect opportunity to play this kid without catching too much heat. Mostly to see if you want to bring back Moises next year, but overall the experience will only help him. And he can flat rake. If it works out like we want it to, Moises gets the run, Dooby gets LF and there’s a whole lot of money to throw around next offseason for a SS or CF.
Do y’all get back to back to back to back to back episodes of me on the U tonight, now dat da Cubs is back on FSN?
After dat, stay tuned for back to back to back to back to back to back to back episodes of The Hugley’s followed by a very special Sistuh, Sistuh.
I saw Dubois play a few weeks ago and was impressed
What’s not to like about 299/382/628? The only hole is the >2 to 1 K/BB ratio. But then again, he should feel right at home in the current Cub lineup.
I’m not so sure Corey is so much non-chalant but stubborn. He is convinced that he is the next great power hitter, since he’s been told that from little league on up, until Baylor decided he would be a leadoff man.
He’s a modern day athlete. He’s gonna do it his way, and in the meantime, we’re gonna feel his pain.
Man, everybody just hates me the past 24 hours or so.
The problem with the Cubs is that the offense will look great one night and then terrible the next. When this lineup can stop getting in such cycles, then this team will explode in the winning column.
I would love to see Lee move up in the lineup, by the way. And I would love to see DuBois get a lot of starts in this two-week stretch. I have a feeling we will see neither though.
I agree with Sloth, if that is your real name…..
The best thing that could happen to Corey is that he doesn’t hit another HR all year long. Maybe then he’ll get it. His real value will be when he hits 20-25 HRs w/ 40-50 doubles and 20-30 SB’s. I’m convinced he’d be happy to hit .260 if he could hit 45 HRs. Putting it together in the field is another issue altogether.
Like his last at bat. Shoot, Paul Bunyan couldn’t hit one out last night, but you know all that Corey’s thinking is, "1-run game. A jack ties it." instead of "1-run game, I’m getting my ass on base and wheeling around to score"
If I’m aggressive, maybe I offer Magglio Ordonez to the Cubs for Matt Clement and Moises Alou.
The Cubs just may bite if Prior and Wood are indeed healthy and ready to go by early June. Alou can play right for a half a season, and then we’ll see what we’ll do with him.
Clement will be the final starter we need, and the Cubs can always keep trotting the Meat Tray out there, and they have a better chance of re-signing Magglio than we do. Clement will end up somewhere else anyway.
Your offense looks great one night and terrible the next because you strike out a ton but don’t draw walks.
My offense is the pretty similar to yours except we have a little speed. But speed doesn’t keep us from going a week or two at a time without scoring, other than solo HRs, and it drives me crazy!
I only need one run! We will not lose!
I will kill the homo Giants!
Z, are you taking a page from my vocabulary?
Lemme tell you son-ting…tonight, I throw the shutout and den I heet hon-ron…dat’s all I need, buddy.
And one more ting, buddy…I’m gonna heet Bonds on purpose…Whatchugonnado Barry?!
I ain’t a-skeered of no-ting, buddy.
Corey doesn’t need to be shit canned because he can’t hit. He needs to be shit canned because he can’t hit, can’t bunt, can’t throw, doesn’t know when to play a ball aggressively or defensively, can’t get on base to use his speed, doesn’t know to call off other outfielders when he’s got a bead on a flyball,…
If I’m missing anything, please let me know.
Hey, Mike D.
How long you gonna wait? This is year #4 (full year #3) for Corey? Sooner is now.
And I don’t agree he’ll ever be good.
Right now, he can only hope to ever be as valuable a player as Shawon ever was.
Lets’ face it…The best career move Korey could make now would be to bang the new Mrs. Sandberg….
Yep, I was right all along.
Here comes the Corey Flip-Flop. It was nice to see everyone give him 30 HRs and 30 SBs with a .290 average on April 1. Now that the real games have started, people are taking a flyer on him. Put him down the order and let him discover what it’s like to hit in front of the sure out that is Bako.
He’s not going to get traded, no matter how many people hop on that bandwagon, so give it up. The Cubs feel they have the corners nailed down and are armed to the gills; screwing with the middle of the outfield is just not on the radar.
Maybe we will find that Corey is like the Star Trek movies, where every other year is crappy, then good, in perpetuity. How many will stomach a .260 season for ’04 and ’06 if a .320 is onboard for ’05 and ’07? A show of hands, please.
Chuck,
Like I said, I’m giving time to pluck his head out of his ass. I can wait until the end of the year.
As long as Corey’s batting seventh, and we’ve got enough offense around him, I think we can stay with him, even if he is making me bald by his complete lack of awareness.
I’m sure Sux fans wished they had waited out Sosa at the end of his third year, instead of shitcanning him after ’91.
Waiting to the end of the year may be too long. The arms on this staff may be turned into shredded tendons by then. Gotta win now.
As to, "we’ve got enough offense around him," the Cubs don’t. Replace a 7th hitting, strikeout artist, defensive liability with a #3 hitter for the next 7 years.
Make the deal, Hendry.
But hey! We got George Bell!
Hmm, maybe Corey and Clement for Magglio?
When I traded for Sosa, he didn’t bust out for another 7 seasons. Before then, he was an above average power hitter who could throw bullets from left field with the accuracy of M*A*S*H’s 5:00 Charlie. In short, a 2 tool player – Power and speed.
I got "Gas Station" Bell and won a division title with him.
Yeah, the Cubs won that trade, but not by as much as everyone thinks.
Either that or you think that Carter for Sutcliffe was a bad deal. It wasn’t. Without that trade, the Cubs lose the division in 1984 and Wrigley is torn down to build a new stadium out by the WGN transmitter in Schaumberg.
See, Chuck has inordinate man love for both the recently extended Jose Vidro and the aforementioned Carlos Beltran.
He has convinced me, too, of Beltran’s manly charms, especially posed against the frustrating false start that is Corey Patterson.
I do not want to RENT Beltran, I want him long time, and all here have to admit that, if he were here now, we would be better.
His price be high, though.
It’s hard to figure out what was best of that trade…Getting Sosa or getting rid of Bell.
As frustrating as Korey is now, he gets til next year to prove something. He essentially gets a pass this year for being out most of last year. But he’s at least got to show some improvement by the end of the year. Whether it’s taking walks, not swinging at crap, moving runners over, bunting, playing defense…. Right now he brings nothing to te table. He’s the Alex Gonzales of the outfield. And one A-Gon is plenty…
Eh hem….We’re spelled with a "u".
Oh, yeah, Kenny? Shut your damn mouth, and why don’t you stay home in Plainfield once in a while and do something with your kids, so they quit trying to break into my car?
Chuck,
The Cubs are in first place without an inning from their #1 starter and top setup man, 1.5 missed starts from #2 starter, 6 weeks aithout their regular second basemen, and another week without HIS backup, two weeks (and many more to come) from their starting shortstop, a shaky closer, and now two games (and 10 more) without Sammy.
Meanwhile, Houston is one Dotel gopher ball from getting 8 wins out of Clemens, have had everybody healthy save Pettite for 2 weeks, and yet they still can’t seperate from the battered Cubs. Shoot even if their offense (and Corey) is tanking for the next month, this rotation makes it hard for anybody to believe that they’d more than four games out of first by mid-July.
Then, when Allard Baird (Or Omar Minaya, with Bud Selig pointing a gun at his head) start freaking out about getting nothing for Beltran (or Cabrera), well, because Jim Hendry wasn’t a nervous pussy and caved in before Memorial Day, then Beltran could be had for much less than he would today, if that’s what we still want in July.
Look, I’m all for being proactive, but I also happen to be anti-raped-in-the-ass. Why deal now if we’re hovering first place? Let’s be the ones, for once, that take someone ELSE to the cleaners, like Hendry did last year?
In the meantime, if some other GM wants to purge his farm sytem for a Scott Borass client in his walk year, let him. KC knows how plush the Cubs farm system is; I think that if the Cubs are legitimate suitors for Beltran, and KC would really dump him, that they’re going to wait and see what they could get for him.
I’m going to leave this website, never to return.
Once the reviews of Star Trek movies start rolling out, I know I don’t want to be associated with this place.
Just heard Corey "interviewed" by Pasty & Buffoon.
Corey said his approach will not change whether he’s hitting 2nd, 5th, or 7th.
Don Baylor, you WERE right. Corey knows it all.
What a waste of talent.
I get the the Cubs are one game out without Moses and Aaron while the Houston Pharoahs certainly seem to be doing their best, yet just barely keeping up.
Do you really see that staying that way without Moses, Aaron, the Ark of the Covenant, The Shankara Stones, the Cup of Christ, and Karen Allen’s naken butt? Now were Kate Capshaw Spielburg to be on Houston, I might see it.
I see the current standings as more luck and small sample size than a trend. Especially with more bodies out now than earlier.
For Oy, you’ve got Patterson, but you don’t have me. You’re gonna have to come back here. You’re gonna have to come down here!
FOR OY!!!!!!
FOR OY!!!!!!
Right name, no swearing, fairly cogent.
WHICH SLOTH IS IT THAT’S POSTING TODAY?
"Yeah, the Cubs won that trade, but not by as much as everyone thinks."
No, not by as much as everybody thinks. Maybe George Bell can put some tin foil on the TV at his gas station to watch Sammy’s Hall of Fame acceptance speech.
"I got "Gas Station" Bell and won a division title with him."
George Bell did jack for the Black Sox division-winning club.
Bell’s first year with the Sux was ’92, and he had an adequate year (112 RBI but also .255/.294/.418–better than Sammy but so what). Alas, the Black Sux missed the playoffs anyway in ’92. The next year, he not only sucked (.217/.243/.363 w/64 RBI), but he was a divisive malcontent who was basically not even used by the end of the year.
In fact, Taco Bell didn’t even PLAY in the ALCS. Not once did he enter any of the six games. Hell, he may not even have been on the postseason roster.
I was an All-Star for the Cubs in my one year there. Then I decided to show up late for spring training to tend to my gas station and Larry Himes traded me to the Sox.
I was never an All-Star for the Sox. That’s a bad trade any way you see it. And to say that it took Sammy seven years to become a star, check this out:
In 1993 the year after the trade, Sammy had his first 30-30 season.
In ’94 he hit .300 for the first time.
In ’95 he was 30-30 again.
In ’96 he was on pace to hit more than 50 homers when his season ended with a broken hand. He ONLY hit 40 homers and drove in 100 in 124 games.
By the way ’95 started a streak of nine seasons (it’s still going) of at least 30 homers and 100 RBI.
So yeah, it took him seven years to "bust out."
Huh?
And I thought the best part of the deal was the Cubs getting a left-handed reliever.
Hey, George and Bo were Gene Lamont’s pals. That’s why we sat in the dugout during the playoffs and yelled at him.
I sat on the bench during the playoffs & broke it.
Where’s Ms. Depesto? And Guido the killer pimp?
![]("http://www.davidandmaddie.com/images/bert-00.jpg"/)
Did you check out my latest work for the Trib, where I suggested the Sox were going to trade Carlos Lee and Magglio Ordonez (as well as a few MORE prospects) and add Randy Johnson and the decaying corpse of Steve Finley?
Anyone want to guess what I’m on?
That’s a damn fine pic of me, during my perm days. Of course, everyone had one in the 80s.
I’m breathing free and easy, now that the Chip-o-meter has been eased back from "severe".
nice site indeed
Your site looks great! Best of luck to you.