Sports fans are the worst, aren’t we?  If, back in spring training, you were assured that the Cubs would go into the All-Star Break seven games over .500, in the lead for the last playoff spot in the National League, and that Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo would be All-Stars, you’d have needed to change your shorts.

And, you’d have said something dumb like, “That’s great.  But really, I just want them to be competitive, finally.”

And, you’d have meant it.  But now, three months later, you just want Theo to “DO SOMETHING!” and fix the moribund offense, oh, and get another starting pitcher, and well, probably another bullpen arm, because every team always needs more bullpen guys, and what’s the deal with out catchers, and why can’t they just give the job to Kyle Schwarber (HE WON THE FUTURES GAME MVP!), and why can’t Chris Coghlan catch a flyball, and what’s the deal with Dexter Fowler and why does he suck so much, and…

And…welcome back.  Welcome back to games that matter, welcome back to players we care about, and welcome back to actually looking forward to watching this bunch play.

There have been some great moments already this season.  All the walk-offs.  Jonathan Herrera wearing the gum bucket on his head.  Sweeping the Mets…twice.  But the moment that made it all feel real happened just the other night.

The Cubs were an out…no, actually, they were a single strike away from beating the Cardinals for a third straight time, taking the series three games to one, moving to a season-high 10 games over .500, and…Pedro Strop gave up a two-run homer to Jhonny Peralta and the Cubs lost.

It sucked.  It sucked hard.  You felt it.  It felt terrible.

But you felt it.

During the rebuild you could always stomach the losses because in an odd way, they were beneficial.  You don’t get to draft Kris Bryant and Kyle Schwarber back to back unless you have back to back terrible seasons.

But nobody’s worried about a draft pick this year.  The playoffs are within reach.  It won’t be easy.  The Mets are only a game behind now, and the Giants (the real threat) are just behind them.  Chances are this team’s not good enough to hold them both off without a trade or two to fortify the roster.

But the wins matter now, and they don’t matter now.  They matter in the run for the playoffs.  They don’t matter in draft order (at least in the first round) because if the Cubs really do add David Price or Jordan Zimmermann in the offseason, that first round pick will be gone anyway.

So if you are Theo Epstein or Jed Hoyer, how aggressive are you in the next 18 days before the trade deadline?  You are clearly building this team to be a World Series contender in 2016, 2017, 2018, etc.  But here they are, in the pole position for the last invitation to the party.

Last year, not one but two wild card teams made it all the way to mythical, fictional land known to pretty much every team but the Cubs as the World Series.

You don’t have to be the best team for six months to win the World Series, you just need to be the best for about a month.

Common sense though, tells you that the Cubs need to toe the line between adding players to help them win now, and giving up players who they need to win in 2016 and beyond.

If the Cubs could somehow acquire a player¹ who would figure to impact the team for several more years, then you would be open to giving up players of a higher caliber.  If they could get a player who could help this year and next then you are open to giving up players of a slightly lesser caliber, or just fewer of the higher caliber ones.  But if you’re after a player who will be gone after this season, then you have to deal with the “chaff” in your system.  Given the Cubs depth, and their inability to protect everybody in the offseason’s Rule V draft, even the “chaff” is pretty good.

What if they included Starlin Castro in a deal?  He’s had a miserable two months after a nice start to the season.  Suddenly the same experts who said his long-term contract gave him added value, are saying the contract’s an “albatross.”  Truth is, shortstops are still hard to come by, and Starlin is cost-controlled.  He’s not a .603 OPS guy ², and you expect him to play better in the second half, because…well, he could hardly play worse.

But a Castro trade at the deadline seems unlikely.  And it has almost nothing to do with Castro.  If the Cubs traded him and opened up shortstop for Addison Russell–which at some point in the near future they’ll do–who’s going to play second base?

Tommy LaStella’s leg apparently fell off right after spring training.  Arismendy Alcantara isn’t exactly setting the Pacific Coast League on fire, and Javy Baez is only just now even starting his rehab from his broken finger.

So, unless you get a starting caliber second baseman in a trade, dealing Starlin just takes him out of the lineup and inserts this:

You have to think even without an addition the offense will rebound–at least some–in short order.  Jorge Soler is back in right field, and though the results weren’t really there, he’s hit the ball pretty hard, pretty consistently since he came off the DL.  His return means the Cubs can finally use their long-planned Chris Coghlan-Chris Denorfia platoon in left³, Starlin’s overdue to get out of “this”, and so is Dexter Fowler.

How much Russell is going to hit is a mystery.  He’s already established himself as an elite defender, and despite his long running slump his OPS is still higher than Starlin’s⁴.

The wonder twins are going to man the corner infield spots for about the next decade (at least seven more years).  They are awesome and we love them and we already can’t remember a time when they weren’t both in the lineup together.

So how do you improve the offense in the short term?

You could do the amazing and bring back E-ramis Ramirez from his Milwaukee exile and let him finish out the last season of his career by returning to his one true home (I’m actually petrified that his other former organization, Pissburgh, trades for him first.) and getting a few last big hits for the Cubs.  E-ramis would push Bryant to left and suddenly your bench options are pretty good with Denorfia and Coghlan.

One thing I’d love to see the Cubs start doing is the old Cardinals trick (no, not the sign stealing or the steroids, or the hacking into computers, or faking drug tests) of trading for a player they really like who is in the walk-year of a contract.  You get the guy, you brainwash him that this is the place for him and you might even get a tiny bit of a discount.  It worked with Scott Rolen and Larry Walker and looks like it’s working with Jason Heyward.  It’s finally fun and cool to play for the Cubs, why not use that?

The problem is that there aren’t very many impact offensive players in their final year before free agency.  This list is ugly.  Who’s on it that the Cubs would want short and long-term?  Justin Upton?  Maybe?

It goes to show another reason why the Cubs strategy of loading up on young hitters and being willing to buy free agent pitching is a good one.  The list of impact free agent pitchers is deep and awfully good.  Not so much the hitters.

We can’t assume that the Cubs, even with an addition or two, are going to make the playoffs.  But it’s fun to have them in the mix, and right now, in the driver’s seat.  But what we can do is imagine this tasty scenario.

Pissburgh is only 2.5 games behind the Cardinals now.  Imagine they catch the Cardinals and those teams finish 1-2 in the NL in best record.  Say they both win 100+ games.  St. Louis, even after a great season, ends up hosting a one-game wild card affair with the team their fans get the most fired up to face, our beloved Cubs.  Say, the Cubs stroll in with 88 wins, but have it lined up so Jake Arrieta gets to pitch the wild card game.

Arrieta owns the Cardinals⁵ (To the tune of 4-1, 1.63, 39 hits in 55 innings, 60K’s to 19 walks in nine starts.)  The Cubs don’t let Pedro Strop pitch in the game.

Just how are the Best Fans in Baseball going to feel about watching a hundred win team get their asses handed to them, and sent back to the Ozarks by those gay, loser Cubs?

It’s going to be great.

1. *cough* Cole Hamels *cough*
2. Holy crap, .603?  Ugh.
3. Which actually should work fairly well.
4. It’s a whopping .650, though.  Ugh.
5. One of the many things we love about him.