Walker
Barrett
Alou
Ramirez
Hollandsworth
Lee
Patterson
Martinez
Prior
So Terrible
on June 9, 2004 at 12:49 pm
You betta wash out, Cubs, here come the supplies!
Hawk Haro
on June 9, 2004 at 1:04 pm
Did you hear my annoying home run calls yesterday. I love making an ass out of myself.
Prop bets
on June 9, 2004 at 1:20 pm
Prior hits Morris during first at-bat: 5-1
Prior hits Morris during the game: 2-1
Farnsworth runs out of bullpen to hit Morris: 7-2
Kline hits Prior: 3-2
Kline takes line drive off forehead: 13-1
O/U on Cardinals first hit: 3 1/3 innings
O/U on number of strikes Rolen sees today: 2
O/U on number of strikes Patterson takes today: 1
O/U Prior strikeouts: 9
One more prop bet
on June 9, 2004 at 1:22 pm
Morris being an ass: even money
ESPN Jugs Gun
on June 9, 2004 at 1:22 pm
I’m broken. Can someone fix me?
E-Ramis
on June 9, 2004 at 1:23 pm
My ass.
Johnnie B.
on June 9, 2004 at 1:27 pm
I was a little too macho there…if I walk him, I have two out, two on and Lassie up. When will I learn?
intentional walks
on June 9, 2004 at 1:29 pm
We’re like the 2-point conversion and shouldn’t be used until late, when the game is on the line.
Lassie
on June 9, 2004 at 1:30 pm
My dumbass is at first today.
Todd Walker
on June 9, 2004 at 1:30 pm
Man, I hope I get 1,000 today.
Bud Selig is here for the ceremony.
All the living members of the 1,000 Hits Club are standing by.
I’m just a little nervous about having to give a speech in the middle of the game.
CT
on June 9, 2004 at 1:30 pm
1-0? A run off Prior? What the hell?
Game 6 2003 NLCS
on June 9, 2004 at 1:33 pm
Is there anything going on right now that reminds you of me?
Anything? At all?
Bill Parcells
on June 9, 2004 at 1:34 pm
Look out for something sneaky from So.
To #13
on June 9, 2004 at 1:34 pm
Bartman, get the hell out of here before I bludgeon you.
3 Innings
on June 9, 2004 at 1:35 pm
The max Prior will last today at this rate.
Scott Rolen
on June 9, 2004 at 1:35 pm
Wonder when you’ll just put me on first base?
Jim Edmonds
on June 9, 2004 at 1:37 pm
First base? After my flawless performance in center yesterday?
Wendell Kim
on June 9, 2004 at 1:38 pm
Hmm, looks like I’ll be able to have a runner on third tag up on a pop out to first.
Finally
on June 9, 2004 at 1:39 pm
Someone throw in that ball!
One thousand hits, that’s a really…um…really, uh, something, yeah…really something.
1200
on June 9, 2004 at 1:42 pm
At this rate, that’s how many hits Walker will finish with for his career.
Bases Loaded
on June 9, 2004 at 1:45 pm
Dun dun dun….
Edgar Rentaria
on June 9, 2004 at 1:46 pm
I’ve recovered enough from our latest shower encounter…er, I mean stomach flu to get back in the lineup today.
Jimmy’s legs are still a little spongey though.
Corey Patterson
on June 9, 2004 at 1:46 pm
That looked like one of my at bats
1 for 24
on June 9, 2004 at 1:47 pm
Edgar vs. Clement: I would get the flu too.
CT
on June 9, 2004 at 1:49 pm
God forbid we score a run with the bases loaded.
Suicide Watch
on June 9, 2004 at 1:51 pm
Okay, when Tony Womack doubles off The Franchise, then something just ain’t right….
Mark Prior
on June 9, 2004 at 1:52 pm
Hey, these aren’t the Pirates!
Edgar Renteria
on June 9, 2004 at 1:52 pm
I had the runs last night
Mark Prior
on June 9, 2004 at 1:53 pm
Hey these aren’t the Fort Wayne Wizards!
Mark Prior
on June 9, 2004 at 1:53 pm
My arms hanging by a thread
Wild Pitch?
on June 9, 2004 at 1:54 pm
Ugh!
Pat Hughes
on June 9, 2004 at 1:54 pm
I’ll have the runs in the 6th inning.
Grud
on June 9, 2004 at 1:54 pm
Get used to seeing Walker in the lineup, I had a set back in my rehab when I couldn’t play 2 games in a row for Iowa. Actually, I just want to stick around here and hit in this lineup when Sosa comes down to protect me.
Edgar Renteria
on June 9, 2004 at 1:55 pm
Hey Pat how come I found you in my crapper last night?
Cubs
on June 9, 2004 at 1:55 pm
Our postseason hopes are hanging by a thread.
Corey
on June 9, 2004 at 1:57 pm
A bunt. A successful bunt! Holy shit!
Joe Borowski
on June 9, 2004 at 1:57 pm
My arm’s hanging on by a thread too
CT
on June 9, 2004 at 1:58 pm
Prior gives up doubles to Marlon Anderson and Tony Womack? Corey Patterson reaches on a bunt single? Is this some sort of bizzaro world baseball game?
Sux fan in the Pepsi commercial
on June 9, 2004 at 1:58 pm
Has anyone noticed how I say "Sahmmee Sohsah" with the heavy Latin accent at the beginning of the spot — only to speak flawless English, with no trace of a Latin accent the rest of the way?
Herpes
on June 9, 2004 at 2:00 pm
Yeah but Patterson still bunted at the first pitch. Dick.
Corey Patterson
on June 9, 2004 at 2:00 pm
Im a dumbass
Todd Walker
on June 9, 2004 at 2:02 pm
Time for 1001!
Corey
on June 9, 2004 at 2:04 pm
I am bound and determined to get picked off.
Lloyd McClendon
on June 9, 2004 at 2:05 pm
I’m telling you…they can’t score with the bases loaded…put him on.
Todd Walker
on June 9, 2004 at 2:07 pm
By the way, that was career walk # 323 for me.
Matt Morris
on June 9, 2004 at 2:07 pm
I am one ugly bastard
Derrrek Lee
on June 9, 2004 at 2:08 pm
Heee, I am so happy on the cover of Vineline.
Walker
on June 9, 2004 at 2:08 pm
I will be celebrating my milestone hit by shooting bottle rockets in my bare feet, tonight at my trailer.
Bring your own Thunderbird.
Walker haters
on June 9, 2004 at 2:11 pm
Rip on him now, but just think what this year would be like if we didn’t have him at 2nd. Ramon/Macias up the middle… thats solid.
Walker
on June 9, 2004 at 2:13 pm
I know I signed for "cheap" but at 1.75 mil, you’d think I could afford a house. Or is this Cristal bottles I’m using for homemade rockets that I blew my money on?
Walker Hater
on June 9, 2004 at 2:14 pm
Yeah, I shudder to think how we would be doing had we kept Tony Womack over Walker.
At least Womack hasn’t done squat this year. Is he even playing this season?
Tony Gwynn
on June 9, 2004 at 2:16 pm
Dave quit putting your hands down there
OPS
on June 9, 2004 at 2:16 pm
2004
Walker .775
Womack .725
Chip Carey
on June 9, 2004 at 2:17 pm
With that pun about the pregnant pause, can anybody guess what my ethnicity is? (Hint: it’s the same color of the Cubs jerseys today)
Tony Womack
on June 9, 2004 at 2:17 pm
Yeah, my .235 last year was an awesome reason to keep me. Hindsight’s 20/20, you wouldn’t have kept me, either.
Jim Edmonds
on June 9, 2004 at 2:17 pm
I’m glad I’m such a defensive whiz that nobody’s tried to bunt at me at first or anything.
Tuna Parcells
on June 9, 2004 at 2:18 pm
You ain’t no Jap, are you Caray?
Hindsight
on June 9, 2004 at 2:22 pm
You’re damn right I’m 20/20, we should have never traded away Damian Miller! I mean, who didn’t think he’d hit .300 this year?
Walker Hater
on June 9, 2004 at 2:22 pm
I’m actually a Womack Hater too. I’ve just never been impressed with Walker since he took his white trash ass off the LSU campus.
He’s an overhyped, Moneyball. one-dimensional player.
And a LOSER!
Todd Walker
on June 9, 2004 at 2:23 pm
Hater, I may be a "loser" as you say, but I am being paid to play baseball, while you sit in your den, typing on the computer and eating Milk Duds. $%&* you, buddy.
Walker
on June 9, 2004 at 2:24 pm
"On this momentous occasion of my 1000th career hit, TODAY, I AM THE GREATEST!!!!"
Mmmmmm
on June 9, 2004 at 2:24 pm
Milk Duds
The Franchise
on June 9, 2004 at 2:25 pm
I guess today can be your day, Todd, since it ain’t gonna be mine.
Hater
on June 9, 2004 at 2:25 pm
At least my wife gives it to me good, since I shave and take a shower.
Maybe someone could introduce you to a toothbrush, Todd.
Cletus from St. Louis
on June 9, 2004 at 2:26 pm
I can show y’all. I just done traded in my teethbrush for a toothbrush.
hey #65
on June 9, 2004 at 2:26 pm
Are you really going to have a yo mama fight with a fake Todd Walker on a website? Please stop. And since most major leaguers have hot wives, he probably does, too.
The Franchise
on June 9, 2004 at 2:28 pm
I did too much dancing at my sisters wedding
To #67
on June 9, 2004 at 2:29 pm
Do you mean this isn’t the real Todd Walker?
I’m so friggin’ humiliated.
Sanders
on June 9, 2004 at 2:30 pm
You try getting back to 2nd w/ a 40lb chain around you neck.
Todd Walker
on June 9, 2004 at 2:30 pm
Actually, it’s really me, Augie Ojeda.
Mark Prior
on June 9, 2004 at 2:33 pm
I’m boycotting strikes.
CT
on June 9, 2004 at 2:38 pm
Who the hell is going to finish this one up for Prior?
Prior
on June 9, 2004 at 2:39 pm
Wow, I looked sharp today.
Game Over
on June 9, 2004 at 2:39 pm
Glam slam
Worthless
on June 9, 2004 at 2:39 pm
Prior start
Prior
on June 9, 2004 at 2:40 pm
Put me back on the DL.
Kidd
on June 9, 2004 at 2:40 pm
Rather lose 5-0 than 1-0… Our offense sucks nuts.
DL
on June 9, 2004 at 2:40 pm
Maybe Prior should still be on me?
CT
on June 9, 2004 at 2:40 pm
Well, let’s hope The Genius decides to bring in Woody Williams to close this one out.
Rehab Stint
on June 9, 2004 at 2:41 pm
Should have had a few more starts
Strikes
on June 9, 2004 at 2:41 pm
Prior, finally throws one, and serves one up for a homerun.
Baker
on June 9, 2004 at 2:42 pm
Thought I would leave him in a batter too long. Don’t want to ruin my streak of bad coaching this year.
Or maybe
on June 9, 2004 at 2:42 pm
Prior just had a bad outing. It happens once in a while.
The Franchise
on June 9, 2004 at 2:42 pm
Help? Go Cubbie O!!!!!
Walks
on June 9, 2004 at 2:43 pm
our pitching staff kills us with these.
LaTroy Hawkins
on June 9, 2004 at 2:43 pm
I am NOT talking to the media after this game. Vultures.
Walks
on June 9, 2004 at 2:44 pm
maybe the Cub batters should take a few
Last Year
on June 9, 2004 at 2:44 pm
Remember Drew hit a Grannie last year, that resulted in a Cub win.
Derrrrek Lee
on June 9, 2004 at 2:47 pm
All we need is a 8-run inning, I love those!
Jesus Sanchez
on June 9, 2004 at 2:48 pm
Hey, if the cubs come back and win this one, I’ll have somthing in common with the Franchise!!!
Morris
on June 9, 2004 at 2:50 pm
Prior rubbed off on me.
Kelton
on June 9, 2004 at 2:52 pm
Time to send him back down to the minors. Very useless. Once again, Baker, why are we trying to bunt here. Why try and kill a streak?
Another Biscuit For Breakfast
on June 9, 2004 at 2:53 pm
Shut up Chip.
Jim Edmonds
on June 9, 2004 at 2:53 pm
No Matt, that was me rubbing off on you.
2-out RBI
on June 9, 2004 at 2:53 pm
Unlike Bigfoot and Nessie, I actually do exist.
Lee, Patterson, & Martinez
on June 9, 2004 at 2:53 pm
These pieces of shit finally hit. Can you believe it? Why can’t he hit when the others do?
Michael Barrett
on June 9, 2004 at 2:54 pm
Once again I ask you…who dares doubt Jim Hendry?
Alou
on June 9, 2004 at 2:54 pm
time to go yard with this one.
E-ramis
on June 9, 2004 at 2:56 pm
Bye-Bye to this one! 6-5
Hanging curveball
on June 9, 2004 at 2:58 pm
I am Morris’s best pitch today. Nobody can hit it.
Fassero
on June 9, 2004 at 2:59 pm
I taught Matt Morris that pitch.
Um, #100?
on June 9, 2004 at 3:00 pm
Still 5-3.
Buyer's remorse
on June 9, 2004 at 3:01 pm
Yeah, I’m sure glad I traded Corey away for Geoff Jenkins in my keeper league last week….
Jon Leicester
on June 9, 2004 at 3:02 pm
I am not the next Todd Wellemeyer.
I’m pitching.
Leicester
on June 9, 2004 at 3:02 pm
Yes, I DO sound like I’m named after a Shakespearean Duke.
CT
on June 9, 2004 at 3:04 pm
Hey Fassero, any chance the Cards re-aquired you in the last half hour?
Brothers
on June 9, 2004 at 3:04 pm
Were Edmonds & Morris seperated at birth. Never mind they are together still.
Leicester
on June 9, 2004 at 3:05 pm
I pitch like a Shakespeare character, too.
Jon Leicester
on June 9, 2004 at 3:05 pm
I struck out Scott Rolen! The rest of you guys can learn from me.
Brushback
on June 9, 2004 at 3:06 pm
I sure helped out there.
Fassero
on June 9, 2004 at 3:06 pm
I threw yesterday against the Yankees. Only allowed two runs. Still got the lost.
Jon Leicester
on June 9, 2004 at 3:06 pm
Oops, I spoke too soon.
Andy
on June 9, 2004 at 3:11 pm
John LeICEster?
He has a superfluous ICE in the middle of this name? How ingenious!
Easily the best Cubs "lester" since Lancaster.
Basebrawl
on June 9, 2004 at 3:13 pm
HERE WE GO!!!!
Sit down, you hicks
on June 9, 2004 at 3:14 pm
EOM
Andy
on June 9, 2004 at 3:15 pm
Suddenly, Derrek Lee is my favorite Cub.
Love the point at Morris then point at LaRussa move.
Shania Twain
on June 9, 2004 at 3:15 pm
I invented the point move. Don’t y’all forget it.
Jim Malone (as played by Sean Connery)
on June 9, 2004 at 3:17 pm
"They send one of yours to the dirt, you send one of theirs to the morgue."
Derrrek Lee
on June 9, 2004 at 3:18 pm
Hey, I’m not playing like I’m dead anymore.
Michael Barrett
on June 9, 2004 at 3:20 pm
Andy, you fickle bastard. Am I going to have to hit another pinch hit grand slam to become the favorite again?
Glendon Rusch
on June 9, 2004 at 3:20 pm
C’mon Wendell, wave me around!
Glendon Rusch
on June 9, 2004 at 3:21 pm
Apparently, I’m the next Brooks Kieschnick.
Glen Don Pinch Hitter Deluxe
on June 9, 2004 at 3:21 pm
Time to go yard, again.
Glendon Rusch
on June 9, 2004 at 3:21 pm
How bad is a team when I’m a pinch hitter?
What?
on June 9, 2004 at 3:21 pm
Glendon Rusch? No seriously, Glendon Rusch?
Ramon Martinez
on June 9, 2004 at 3:21 pm
I’m the scrub of the week! Of course, when Glendon Rusch is protecting your spot, you should be able to hit.
Glendon Rusch
on June 9, 2004 at 3:22 pm
In a phone booth, that woulda been a home run.
But it’s hard to swing a bat in a phone booth. Unless Colin Ferrell is in it, and you’re cracking it over his head.
Dusty?
on June 9, 2004 at 3:22 pm
Well we have 12 pitchers (for some reason).
We have no bench without Hollandsworth.
I can’t burn up another hitter!
Glen Don PInch Hitter Deluxe
on June 9, 2004 at 3:22 pm
I was robbed.
Re6y Ordonez
on June 9, 2004 at 3:24 pm
In fairness to Dusty, would you have rather had me up there pinch hitting?
B.C.
on June 9, 2004 at 3:24 pm
Hold on folks… Prior did struggle today. But, if you look at the Womack at-bat again, you’ll see the location that was called strike 2 by Mr. Rapuano was NOT called strike three in two different occasions later in the at-bat. So, really, it should be 4-2 Cubs right now.
Cedeno
on June 9, 2004 at 3:26 pm
I better get some AB’s before my suspension.
Roger Cedeno
on June 9, 2004 at 3:26 pm
Boy, my mouth is so wet! Hey ump, check this out!
Corey Patterson
on June 9, 2004 at 3:26 pm
Who says I don’t have an arm?
Corey Patterson
on June 9, 2004 at 3:27 pm
You know, my defense does not suck. Even if one you thinks so, over and over again.
Dave B
on June 9, 2004 at 3:29 pm
Being a high school and college baseball umpire, I was hesitant to ask if Prior was getting squeezed today, but that’s the unscientific impression I got from reactions I heard on the radio.
Dusty should’ve sent Rusch out to start the 6th and smoke the first hitter with the first pitch. No big loss if he’s ejected.
Now LaRussa gets tough with no chance to face Wood or Prior the rest of the series. Z is going tomorrow, so the Morans better not dig in too much.
B.C.
on June 9, 2004 at 3:32 pm
Prior was struggling, but he would have gotten out of the fourth had the strike zone not completely changed in the middle of the inning. He got squeezed completely on Womack, and I believe he got rattled (See the next 3 pitches to Renteria) because of it.
Carlos Zambrano
on June 9, 2004 at 3:32 pm
Dave, I won’t have any problems knocking a couple of guys down. Be prepared for more of that patented Tony LaRussa whining after tomorrow’s game.
Tony LaRussa
on June 9, 2004 at 3:35 pm
To annoy the crap out of everyone, I will probably switch my pitcher every batter.
CT
on June 9, 2004 at 3:37 pm
Don’t bother Tony, your mere existence annoys the crap out of all of us.
Tony LaRussa
on June 9, 2004 at 3:38 pm
To annoy the crap out of everyone, I will continue to grow out my mullet. Because with that baby, no one can tell that I’m nearly bald & an old fuckblock man.
But my old man big bifocals kinda give it away, huh?
Todd Walker
on June 9, 2004 at 3:41 pm
Has anyone noticed how tough it is to collect that 1001st career hit?
Walker & Barrett
on June 9, 2004 at 3:42 pm
Hey, we HAD to ground out and strike out to get to that 2 out magic!
Fred McGriff
on June 9, 2004 at 3:42 pm
Try 500 home runs.
Kyle Farnsworth
on June 9, 2004 at 3:52 pm
They better just be bringing me in to bean Rolen…
Dave B
on June 9, 2004 at 3:53 pm
Can anybody recall something the Cubs did to piss off Ed Rapuano? Santo’s having a cow, claiming he’s still squeezing Farns.
Indolent Reader
on June 9, 2004 at 3:58 pm
I think the Genius’s incessant whining about the Cubs hitting batters has taken hold with the umpires; that is affecting how they call a game.
I saw the first four innings, and some of the calls were judgment calls at best, blatant strikes at worst.
But, Estes, I’M adorable, why didn’t I get tossed?
Korey
on June 9, 2004 at 4:14 pm
Sure I’m a good CF….
Unscientific
on June 9, 2004 at 4:19 pm
Gosh. If Santo, the fans at Wrigley, *AND* B.C. all claim the Cub pitchers are getting squeezed, then it must be true. And unbiased.
Impressionable
on June 9, 2004 at 4:24 pm
You’d also get the impression from watching and listening to the fans that every pop up the Cubs hit is a HR. Morans.
Innocent
on June 9, 2004 at 4:26 pm
You would also get the impression that every gimp pitcher in the league throws "90 plus" if you rely on Ren & Stumpy.
Tony Womack
on June 9, 2004 at 4:27 pm
See Walker? It’s called a three-hit game.
Good luck as you go for a three hit week.
Bullpen
on June 9, 2004 at 4:28 pm
Squeezing a few of the wild pitches would be a good idea.
Sucks Cornhole
on June 9, 2004 at 4:28 pm
Mike Remlinger.
IBB to Rolen
on June 9, 2004 at 4:29 pm
It’s a little late for me to make my first appearance.
Mike Remlinger
on June 9, 2004 at 4:29 pm
So, did ya miss me?
#9 Reprise
on June 9, 2004 at 4:29 pm
How many IBBs is that, and how are they working out?
close on book on Remlinger
on June 9, 2004 at 4:31 pm
1/3 ip, 2 hits, 5 runs, 5 earned, 3 bb
Remlinger
on June 9, 2004 at 4:32 pm
Clearly I was getting squeezed. Clearly.
Remlinger
on June 9, 2004 at 4:33 pm
Yeah, man, three of those intentional balls were fuckblocking strikes!!!!
Not B.C.
on June 9, 2004 at 4:34 pm
So, really, it should still be 4-2 Cubs! I’m only 20!
Derrek Lee
on June 9, 2004 at 4:34 pm
Okay, guys, let’s do the 8 run innings now!
It's that time again
on June 9, 2004 at 4:35 pm
We should definitely trade Leicester, Remlinger, and Ordonez for Carlos Beltran. They’d be nuts not to take that.
bullpen basher
on June 9, 2004 at 4:35 pm
our great bullpen showed our true colors again today. but really, would we want to lose a close game like always, or just get beaten to a bloody pulp. i’d go with the latter.
Animal Planet
on June 9, 2004 at 4:35 pm
It’s not good when a dog hits a home run.
By the way, Timmy is looking for his dog.
Ordonez
on June 9, 2004 at 4:37 pm
A groundout, that’s a first.
Pat Hughes
on June 9, 2004 at 4:37 pm
Well as I said earlier, the only legitimate defeat on this homestand was the Clemens game!
Counting today, we should very easily be 8-1 on this homestand.
Now excuse me while I go to the bathroom and lose a little more of my intelligence.
Todd Walker
on June 9, 2004 at 4:40 pm
How’s 2-4, on base 3 times today suit you.
Eat that slump!
Intelligent analysis
on June 9, 2004 at 4:41 pm
If you take away all of the runs the opponents have scored off the Cubs this season….they’d likely be 57-0. Or…52-0-5 or something.
How many times has this team been shutout? It feels like a dozen!
Patterson
on June 9, 2004 at 4:41 pm
Let’s get this straight- Patterson sucks on defense, streaky hitter of late and i mean of very late, and doesn’t have a clue on the base path even when he does get on. Why do we want to stick with this guy? Just asking. I don’t see the point. Can’t anybody do what he is doing?
Prior
on June 9, 2004 at 4:43 pm
What’s the chances Prior’s arm hurts tomorrow and wants to be put back on the DL. Oh, sorry that’s his pride that was hurt.
Corey
on June 9, 2004 at 4:45 pm
Hey 175, you might want to shelve your criticism of me for a game in which I haven’t thrown out a guy on the basepaths, walked, homered and scored twice. Just a tought.
If I went 4-5 with nine RBI and a strikeout, all you’d talk about was the strikeout.
Wood
on June 9, 2004 at 4:45 pm
I’d like to stay on the DL. I’ve seen enough today to scare me. I don’t want to look like a fool. Sorry I have way too much pride for that.
Conventional Wisdom
on June 9, 2004 at 4:47 pm
I think it’s high time to stick a baseball in a Red Satanic Fowl’s ass. Er, behind.
#177 Corey
on June 9, 2004 at 4:50 pm
Even if the useless bastard went 5-5 with 5 homers, I’d still say pull the trigger and ditch this kid. People need to get real, he is not the future of Cub baseball. He’s just a regular player like the rest of our great minor league so called all-stars to be. Orie,Scott,Griffin,May, etc.
Do anything guys ring a bell? Are any of these guys still in the league today. The answer is no. Patterson will be in this group in the near future.
Jimmy Anderson
on June 9, 2004 at 4:53 pm
I wonder if they would pinch hit for me if gets that far.
Considering the only pitcher that’s left is Hawkins, and he’s not talking.
Corey Patterson
on June 9, 2004 at 4:54 pm
Don’t worry, I’ll be back in the 2 hole tomorrow.
Earl Cunningham
on June 9, 2004 at 4:54 pm
How come I get no love?
bullpen basher
on June 9, 2004 at 4:55 pm
I’m sure Baker is in a panic state right now. The bullpen has been way overworked in his eyes. I guess the starting the rest of the month will have to go the whole way. That’s pretty sad Dusty. Can these guys not pitch more than one inning. Maybe that’s why they suck. They hardly ever can get into any type of groove. Anytime they’ve done good, your dumbass comes trotting out there to take them out. PATHETIC!
Corey
on June 9, 2004 at 4:56 pm
Yeah, #177, obviously this loss can be entirely attributed to me. You oughta run me straight outta Chicago!
Corey
on June 9, 2004 at 4:57 pm
Oops I mean #180
Corey #177
on June 9, 2004 at 4:57 pm
How fitting, Korey K’s to end the game! He looked pretty good on that at bat, didn’t he?
Remlinger
on June 9, 2004 at 4:58 pm
I know, Corey’s such an asshole!
Bill Murray
on June 9, 2004 at 5:00 pm
Then depression set in further. At least I had a fun time on David Letterman the other night. These Cubs really are starting to drive me crazy.
Patterson Pluggers
on June 9, 2004 at 5:03 pm
Sounds like there are alot more Patterson buttpluggers out there then one thinks. Dusty, I guess you have company in that little cornhole of Korey’s.
Womack
Renteria
Marlon Anderson (LF)
Rolen
Edmonds
Sanders
Taguchi
Yadier
Moranss
Walker
Barrett
Alou
Ramirez
Hollandsworth
Lee
Patterson
Martinez
Prior
You betta wash out, Cubs, here come the supplies!
Did you hear my annoying home run calls yesterday. I love making an ass out of myself.
Prior hits Morris during first at-bat: 5-1
Prior hits Morris during the game: 2-1
Farnsworth runs out of bullpen to hit Morris: 7-2
Kline hits Prior: 3-2
Kline takes line drive off forehead: 13-1
O/U on Cardinals first hit: 3 1/3 innings
O/U on number of strikes Rolen sees today: 2
O/U on number of strikes Patterson takes today: 1
O/U Prior strikeouts: 9
Morris being an ass: even money
I’m broken. Can someone fix me?
My ass.
I was a little too macho there…if I walk him, I have two out, two on and Lassie up. When will I learn?
We’re like the 2-point conversion and shouldn’t be used until late, when the game is on the line.
My dumbass is at first today.
Man, I hope I get 1,000 today.
Bud Selig is here for the ceremony.
All the living members of the 1,000 Hits Club are standing by.
I’m just a little nervous about having to give a speech in the middle of the game.
1-0? A run off Prior? What the hell?
Is there anything going on right now that reminds you of me?
Anything? At all?
Look out for something sneaky from So.
Bartman, get the hell out of here before I bludgeon you.
The max Prior will last today at this rate.
Wonder when you’ll just put me on first base?
First base? After my flawless performance in center yesterday?
Hmm, looks like I’ll be able to have a runner on third tag up on a pop out to first.
Someone throw in that ball!
One thousand hits, that’s a really…um…really, uh, something, yeah…really something.
At this rate, that’s how many hits Walker will finish with for his career.
Dun dun dun….
I’ve recovered enough from our latest shower encounter…er, I mean stomach flu to get back in the lineup today.
Jimmy’s legs are still a little spongey though.
That looked like one of my at bats
Edgar vs. Clement: I would get the flu too.
God forbid we score a run with the bases loaded.
Okay, when Tony Womack doubles off The Franchise, then something just ain’t right….
Hey, these aren’t the Pirates!
I had the runs last night
Hey these aren’t the Fort Wayne Wizards!
My arms hanging by a thread
Ugh!
I’ll have the runs in the 6th inning.
Get used to seeing Walker in the lineup, I had a set back in my rehab when I couldn’t play 2 games in a row for Iowa. Actually, I just want to stick around here and hit in this lineup when Sosa comes down to protect me.
Hey Pat how come I found you in my crapper last night?
Our postseason hopes are hanging by a thread.
A bunt. A successful bunt! Holy shit!
My arm’s hanging on by a thread too
Prior gives up doubles to Marlon Anderson and Tony Womack? Corey Patterson reaches on a bunt single? Is this some sort of bizzaro world baseball game?
Has anyone noticed how I say "Sahmmee Sohsah" with the heavy Latin accent at the beginning of the spot — only to speak flawless English, with no trace of a Latin accent the rest of the way?
Yeah but Patterson still bunted at the first pitch. Dick.
Im a dumbass
Time for 1001!
I am bound and determined to get picked off.
I’m telling you…they can’t score with the bases loaded…put him on.
By the way, that was career walk # 323 for me.
I am one ugly bastard
Heee, I am so happy on the cover of Vineline.
I will be celebrating my milestone hit by shooting bottle rockets in my bare feet, tonight at my trailer.
Bring your own Thunderbird.
Rip on him now, but just think what this year would be like if we didn’t have him at 2nd. Ramon/Macias up the middle… thats solid.
I know I signed for "cheap" but at 1.75 mil, you’d think I could afford a house. Or is this Cristal bottles I’m using for homemade rockets that I blew my money on?
Yeah, I shudder to think how we would be doing had we kept Tony Womack over Walker.
At least Womack hasn’t done squat this year. Is he even playing this season?
Dave quit putting your hands down there
2004
Walker .775
Womack .725
With that pun about the pregnant pause, can anybody guess what my ethnicity is? (Hint: it’s the same color of the Cubs jerseys today)
Yeah, my .235 last year was an awesome reason to keep me. Hindsight’s 20/20, you wouldn’t have kept me, either.
I’m glad I’m such a defensive whiz that nobody’s tried to bunt at me at first or anything.
You ain’t no Jap, are you Caray?
You’re damn right I’m 20/20, we should have never traded away Damian Miller! I mean, who didn’t think he’d hit .300 this year?
I’m actually a Womack Hater too. I’ve just never been impressed with Walker since he took his white trash ass off the LSU campus.
He’s an overhyped, Moneyball. one-dimensional player.
And a LOSER!
Hater, I may be a "loser" as you say, but I am being paid to play baseball, while you sit in your den, typing on the computer and eating Milk Duds. $%&* you, buddy.
"On this momentous occasion of my 1000th career hit, TODAY, I AM THE GREATEST!!!!"
Milk Duds
I guess today can be your day, Todd, since it ain’t gonna be mine.
At least my wife gives it to me good, since I shave and take a shower.
Maybe someone could introduce you to a toothbrush, Todd.
I can show y’all. I just done traded in my teethbrush for a toothbrush.
Are you really going to have a yo mama fight with a fake Todd Walker on a website? Please stop. And since most major leaguers have hot wives, he probably does, too.
I did too much dancing at my sisters wedding
Do you mean this isn’t the real Todd Walker?
I’m so friggin’ humiliated.
You try getting back to 2nd w/ a 40lb chain around you neck.
Actually, it’s really me, Augie Ojeda.
I’m boycotting strikes.
Who the hell is going to finish this one up for Prior?
Wow, I looked sharp today.
Glam slam
Prior start
Put me back on the DL.
Rather lose 5-0 than 1-0… Our offense sucks nuts.
Maybe Prior should still be on me?
Well, let’s hope The Genius decides to bring in Woody Williams to close this one out.
Should have had a few more starts
Prior, finally throws one, and serves one up for a homerun.
Thought I would leave him in a batter too long. Don’t want to ruin my streak of bad coaching this year.
Prior just had a bad outing. It happens once in a while.
Help? Go Cubbie O!!!!!
our pitching staff kills us with these.
I am NOT talking to the media after this game. Vultures.
maybe the Cub batters should take a few
Remember Drew hit a Grannie last year, that resulted in a Cub win.
All we need is a 8-run inning, I love those!
Hey, if the cubs come back and win this one, I’ll have somthing in common with the Franchise!!!
Prior rubbed off on me.
Time to send him back down to the minors. Very useless. Once again, Baker, why are we trying to bunt here. Why try and kill a streak?
Shut up Chip.
No Matt, that was me rubbing off on you.
Unlike Bigfoot and Nessie, I actually do exist.
These pieces of shit finally hit. Can you believe it? Why can’t he hit when the others do?
Once again I ask you…who dares doubt Jim Hendry?
time to go yard with this one.
Bye-Bye to this one! 6-5
I am Morris’s best pitch today. Nobody can hit it.
I taught Matt Morris that pitch.
Still 5-3.
Yeah, I’m sure glad I traded Corey away for Geoff Jenkins in my keeper league last week….
I am not the next Todd Wellemeyer.
I’m pitching.
Yes, I DO sound like I’m named after a Shakespearean Duke.
Hey Fassero, any chance the Cards re-aquired you in the last half hour?
Were Edmonds & Morris seperated at birth. Never mind they are together still.
I pitch like a Shakespeare character, too.
I struck out Scott Rolen! The rest of you guys can learn from me.
I sure helped out there.
I threw yesterday against the Yankees. Only allowed two runs. Still got the lost.
Oops, I spoke too soon.
John LeICEster?
He has a superfluous ICE in the middle of this name? How ingenious!
Easily the best Cubs "lester" since Lancaster.
HERE WE GO!!!!
EOM
Suddenly, Derrek Lee is my favorite Cub.
Love the point at Morris then point at LaRussa move.
I invented the point move. Don’t y’all forget it.
"They send one of yours to the dirt, you send one of theirs to the morgue."
Hey, I’m not playing like I’m dead anymore.
Andy, you fickle bastard. Am I going to have to hit another pinch hit grand slam to become the favorite again?
C’mon Wendell, wave me around!
Apparently, I’m the next Brooks Kieschnick.
Time to go yard, again.
How bad is a team when I’m a pinch hitter?
Glendon Rusch? No seriously, Glendon Rusch?
I’m the scrub of the week! Of course, when Glendon Rusch is protecting your spot, you should be able to hit.
In a phone booth, that woulda been a home run.
But it’s hard to swing a bat in a phone booth. Unless Colin Ferrell is in it, and you’re cracking it over his head.
Well we have 12 pitchers (for some reason).
We have no bench without Hollandsworth.
I can’t burn up another hitter!
I was robbed.
In fairness to Dusty, would you have rather had me up there pinch hitting?
Hold on folks… Prior did struggle today. But, if you look at the Womack at-bat again, you’ll see the location that was called strike 2 by Mr. Rapuano was NOT called strike three in two different occasions later in the at-bat. So, really, it should be 4-2 Cubs right now.
I better get some AB’s before my suspension.
Boy, my mouth is so wet! Hey ump, check this out!
Who says I don’t have an arm?
You know, my defense does not suck. Even if one you thinks so, over and over again.
Being a high school and college baseball umpire, I was hesitant to ask if Prior was getting squeezed today, but that’s the unscientific impression I got from reactions I heard on the radio.
Dusty should’ve sent Rusch out to start the 6th and smoke the first hitter with the first pitch. No big loss if he’s ejected.
Now LaRussa gets tough with no chance to face Wood or Prior the rest of the series. Z is going tomorrow, so the Morans better not dig in too much.
Prior was struggling, but he would have gotten out of the fourth had the strike zone not completely changed in the middle of the inning. He got squeezed completely on Womack, and I believe he got rattled (See the next 3 pitches to Renteria) because of it.
Dave, I won’t have any problems knocking a couple of guys down. Be prepared for more of that patented Tony LaRussa whining after tomorrow’s game.
To annoy the crap out of everyone, I will probably switch my pitcher every batter.
Don’t bother Tony, your mere existence annoys the crap out of all of us.
To annoy the crap out of everyone, I will continue to grow out my mullet. Because with that baby, no one can tell that I’m nearly bald & an old fuckblock man.
But my old man big bifocals kinda give it away, huh?
Has anyone noticed how tough it is to collect that 1001st career hit?
Hey, we HAD to ground out and strike out to get to that 2 out magic!
Try 500 home runs.
They better just be bringing me in to bean Rolen…
Can anybody recall something the Cubs did to piss off Ed Rapuano? Santo’s having a cow, claiming he’s still squeezing Farns.
I think the Genius’s incessant whining about the Cubs hitting batters has taken hold with the umpires; that is affecting how they call a game.
I saw the first four innings, and some of the calls were judgment calls at best, blatant strikes at worst.
Then again, maybe Rapuano’s just an a-hole.
I’m cute!!
I’m Hungry!!!
I’m squeezing everyone!!
But, Estes, I’M adorable, why didn’t I get tossed?
Sure I’m a good CF….
Gosh. If Santo, the fans at Wrigley, *AND* B.C. all claim the Cub pitchers are getting squeezed, then it must be true. And unbiased.
You’d also get the impression from watching and listening to the fans that every pop up the Cubs hit is a HR. Morans.
You would also get the impression that every gimp pitcher in the league throws "90 plus" if you rely on Ren & Stumpy.
See Walker? It’s called a three-hit game.
Good luck as you go for a three hit week.
Squeezing a few of the wild pitches would be a good idea.
Mike Remlinger.
It’s a little late for me to make my first appearance.
So, did ya miss me?
How many IBBs is that, and how are they working out?
1/3 ip, 2 hits, 5 runs, 5 earned, 3 bb
Clearly I was getting squeezed. Clearly.
Yeah, man, three of those intentional balls were fuckblocking strikes!!!!
So, really, it should still be 4-2 Cubs! I’m only 20!
Okay, guys, let’s do the 8 run innings now!
We should definitely trade Leicester, Remlinger, and Ordonez for Carlos Beltran. They’d be nuts not to take that.
our great bullpen showed our true colors again today. but really, would we want to lose a close game like always, or just get beaten to a bloody pulp. i’d go with the latter.
It’s not good when a dog hits a home run.
By the way, Timmy is looking for his dog.
A groundout, that’s a first.
Well as I said earlier, the only legitimate defeat on this homestand was the Clemens game!
Counting today, we should very easily be 8-1 on this homestand.
Now excuse me while I go to the bathroom and lose a little more of my intelligence.
How’s 2-4, on base 3 times today suit you.
Eat that slump!
If you take away all of the runs the opponents have scored off the Cubs this season….they’d likely be 57-0. Or…52-0-5 or something.
How many times has this team been shutout? It feels like a dozen!
Let’s get this straight- Patterson sucks on defense, streaky hitter of late and i mean of very late, and doesn’t have a clue on the base path even when he does get on. Why do we want to stick with this guy? Just asking. I don’t see the point. Can’t anybody do what he is doing?
What’s the chances Prior’s arm hurts tomorrow and wants to be put back on the DL. Oh, sorry that’s his pride that was hurt.
Hey 175, you might want to shelve your criticism of me for a game in which I haven’t thrown out a guy on the basepaths, walked, homered and scored twice. Just a tought.
If I went 4-5 with nine RBI and a strikeout, all you’d talk about was the strikeout.
I’d like to stay on the DL. I’ve seen enough today to scare me. I don’t want to look like a fool. Sorry I have way too much pride for that.
I think it’s high time to stick a baseball in a Red Satanic Fowl’s ass. Er, behind.
Even if the useless bastard went 5-5 with 5 homers, I’d still say pull the trigger and ditch this kid. People need to get real, he is not the future of Cub baseball. He’s just a regular player like the rest of our great minor league so called all-stars to be. Orie,Scott,Griffin,May, etc.
Do anything guys ring a bell? Are any of these guys still in the league today. The answer is no. Patterson will be in this group in the near future.
I wonder if they would pinch hit for me if gets that far.
Considering the only pitcher that’s left is Hawkins, and he’s not talking.
Don’t worry, I’ll be back in the 2 hole tomorrow.
How come I get no love?
I’m sure Baker is in a panic state right now. The bullpen has been way overworked in his eyes. I guess the starting the rest of the month will have to go the whole way. That’s pretty sad Dusty. Can these guys not pitch more than one inning. Maybe that’s why they suck. They hardly ever can get into any type of groove. Anytime they’ve done good, your dumbass comes trotting out there to take them out. PATHETIC!
Yeah, #177, obviously this loss can be entirely attributed to me. You oughta run me straight outta Chicago!
Oops I mean #180
How fitting, Korey K’s to end the game! He looked pretty good on that at bat, didn’t he?
I know, Corey’s such an asshole!
Then depression set in further. At least I had a fun time on David Letterman the other night. These Cubs really are starting to drive me crazy.
Sounds like there are alot more Patterson buttpluggers out there then one thinks. Dusty, I guess you have company in that little cornhole of Korey’s.
I think the cubs left 24 of us on