There are enjoyable innings, and then there’s what the Cubs did to the Cardinals yesterday. In the fourth inning the Cubs scored 10 times and rattled out nine straight hits. Much to the uninformed delight of Chip Caray, nine of the runs qualified as “two out magic!” Despite the fact that the Cubs are only exceptional with two outs in Chip’s mind, things were going so well in that inning that he couldn’t even ruin it.
The effort, the most surreal offensive outburst in Wrigley since an eight run eighth that we’re all trying to forget, gave the Cubs a disappointing 5-5 record on their homestand and a four game split with the Evil Satanic Fowl. And so, we consult the schedule to see how the Cubs are doing on their 38-game trek that could break them. Starting with the May 25 game at Houston and ending with the final Interleague game at Wrigley against the Sox on July 4, the Cubs season could be summed up in a nutshell. They are 6-10 so far on the trek, including ten games at home. However, they are only three games out of first. A .500 or better record during the 38 game stretch, puts them in great shape the rest of the way. Anything worse than that and there’s just more work to be done.
A caller into the always brilliant Murph and Fred Show today wanted to applaud Cubs fans for booing Corey Patterson because, “He’s been hitting well over .300 for the last week. So it’s working!”
Corey’s last seven games:
6-26 (.231). That’s not well over .300 is it? He has walked four times against “only” five strikeouts, and he has been taking some more pitches. So it’s progress, I suppose. Much like being able to drool out of both sides of your mouth while recovering from a stroke is progress.
Pitch counts get a lot of lip service these days, and, of all people, Rick Sutcliffe (not exactly a deep thinker on most topics) made a good point about how you can’t put context into a number. He said there are times when you have a lead and you throw 120 pitches over eight or nine innings and you hardly break a sweat. There are other times when you’re constantly in trouble and you may only throw 90 pitches in five innings and you feel like you threw 140.
So yeah, The Lawnmower threw 121 pitches yesterday in eight innings, but for the first four innings he was nearly perfect and for the last four he had at least a nine run lead the whole time. I don’t think Carlos overtaxed his arm yesterday. Considering the Cubs used SEVEN pitchers on Wednesday, Carlos did everybody a favor.
How do we like Derrek Lee’s June so far? He’s hitting .333 in 36 at bats, has only struck out four times, has two homers, nine RBI and an OPS of 1.051.
Hee Seop Choi’s June? .308 with an .849 OPS, so Choi’s not struggling, but finally, Lee is simply outproducing him. Hopefully this keeps up.
One useful tidbit from the horrific Murph and Fred Show was John Dewan’s stat that the Cubs lead baseball in the happy stat of “runners putout at home plate.” What a shock! Wendell Kim is the Jack Kervorkian of third base coaches. Baserunners only court his assistance in going to their deaths.
The Cubs are off to Anaheim to take on the Rally Monkey and Vlad Guerrero and check out the scene of Dusty Baker’s most painful game six collapse. Yes, he’s actually had one worse than the one we had last year.
In The Wizard of Roz’s column today frequent e-mailer Sanjay H. opines that the Cubs should look to Angels’ shortstop David Eckstein for their solution at the position. This ignores two things. One, the Angels are kind of in a pennant race of their own, and could probably use their shortstop, and two, if the cost is starting pitching, who are the Cubs going to send to Anaheim in the heart of the race? John Leicester? The Meat Tray? How about we just send them Matt Clement so we can finish in third ourselves?
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The Lakers went to Detroit last night and got pantsed. The experts were right, this thing’s not really much of a series. If Kobe doesn’t throw in that three point prayer at the end of game two, the Lakers are about to get swept.
Who saw this coming? Nobody. You can’t pretend you did. But the Pistons have done it almost effortlessly. Everybody knew the Lakers were two great players; an older, dirtier, dumber version of Karl Malone; a constantly pissed off and misused Gary Payton; a useful Derek Fisher and a bench full of young, inconsistent, and only somewhat useful parts.
The Pistons are doing what everybody says they’ll do to the Lakers. Let Shaq score and hope to hell he doesn’t get 25 rebounds in the process, make Kobe shoot from the outside and dare anybody else to score. In game two, Luke Walton pulled the game of his life out of his ass, and the Lakers still almost lost. Nobody stepped up last night and it was a rout.
ESPN wants us to believe that Kobe is as good as, or better than Michael Jordan at this age. Would Michael have ever been held to one point in a half in a big game? Hell no. Was Kobe last night? Yes, he was. Go find another argument. Larry Bird’s probably good for another one.
It’s been kind of fun to listen to national radio hosts try and act offended by Bill Parcells’ “Jap plays” remark this week. If it was offensive, it was because Parcells used the word Jap to mean “sneaky”. But to listen to some of the people, they claim the word Jap is offensive. Yeah, it’s not like we refer to any other nationalities in such a way. Surely nobody’s ever called a guy from Scotland a Scot, a British person a Brit, or used the terms Turk, Euro or Aussy.
Nah. Never.
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Danny Haren’s had better days.
The Genius claims Haren “pitched well.” Huh? I suppose everything’s relative.
Dusty’s learned (the hard way) never to talk about hitting anybody else.
The Cubs needed that inning. Hell, we all did.
Ed Sherman says Ryne Sandberg is good on the radio. Ed needs a new radio.
Regular Joe’s shoulder is not.
John Smoltz with Rosey.
I watched part of Around the Horn yesterday and Mariotti ripped Larry Brown a new one, and talked glowingly about how Phil Jackson is outcoaching him. Even for Jay, this is a ridiculously quick windsock manuever. Mariotti puts down the doughnut to tell us how great Larry is.
Doug Padilla says that it’s a shame Paul Konerko’s not on the ballot at first base in the AL, because he’s the only worthy guy to vote for with his .285 average, 14 homers and 38 RBI. Well, you could vote for Frank Thomas, since he’s on the ballot and his .297 average, 13 homers and 37 RBI. I know it’s hard for all of Konerko’s fans. He’s a write-in candidate only, and most of the people you see wearing Konerko jerseys, are either too dumb, or too fat to use a pen.
The Wizard of Roz, and Sanjay and the always hilarious Alex Kaseberg. Just one time, I’d like to read one of those Kaseberg jokes and not feel like my seven year old nephew could have come up with a better punchline.
Ray Ratto sees through the BS of the “new” BCS.
Finally a good reason to go to a soccer match.
What do you wear to a visitation?
Some woman wants to admit to being Mrs. Mini Me?
Nicole Richie says she’s still a virgin. Sure.
America’s finest news source says a mischevious raccoon is wreaking havoc on the International Space Station.
I want John Smoltz.
Not like that, you morans. As our closer. Could happen? Pray that Atlanta bites it in the next few weeks.
BZZZZ
We wouldn’t say "mischevious," let alone spell it that way, that’s what makes us a fine news source.
Those stupid Kaseberg’s jokes have actually manged to get WORSE. The one today would need a laugh track to clue people into the fact that the intent was humor, and not just some weird statement.
What I find funny is that Rozner finds those unfunny lame attempts at "jokes" funny. How funny is that?
Always a treat to peruse just the links on their page.
— Costs extra to see Jerry Crasnick’s list of "Top scouting directors" – I’ve been dying for that list.
— Ditto for Sutcliffe’s "It’s time to scrap interleague" – even if there was the remotest chance it could happen and there was a point to reading it, the link pretty much sums it up for free.
— BBTN Extra. How does Baseball Tonight become BBTN? Base Ball To Night.
— Or you can read a chat with Joe Morgan, who never met an adverb he didn’t like.
Four "definitely"s in 3 the first three answers, then he gets tired of that and goes to the bullpen for an "obviously" and a combo "usually eventually," then I "eventually thankfully" stopped tortuting my eyes and brain.
I am the best general manager currently not working in baseball! Stop by the quik-e mart and i will tell you the same.
I’ve seen this BBTN abbreviation ESPN does on The Cable. Is BT just not allowed? I guess you have to assign a letter to each syllable now when constructing an acronym. Get on that PTDQ.
Why is everyone beating up on poor Andy Dolan? Andy, guess it’s your elementary school years all over again, huh?
Well, don’t worry Andy, you’re white, you can take the heat. Oh, wait.
Dudes, I talked to Andy the other day, and he is thisclose to turning this into Desipio Premium, Now With AdultCheck!
Unless one of you wants to "lend" me the subscription fee, turn off the gaydar.
"…their 38-game trek that could break them. Starting with the May 25 game at Houston and ending with the final Interleague game at Wrigley against the Sox on July 4"
While this may be a very important strecth to get through, the Cubs are certainly not out of the woods after July 4th. They have a steady diet of Cards, Stros, and Reds (not to mention the ever-annoying and slowly improving Brewers)after the 4th also.
Cubs need to get their shit straight now and not hope for a lull in the schedule. They truly won’t hit an easy patch until September when they seem to play the Expos and Pirates all month. But if they’re 12 1/2 games out by then, it really won’t matter.
LOL!
The Sloth is worried about AdultCheck for Desipio? Sloth needs to worry more about his *own* sheet being turned off by John "No Stone Boobs" Ashcroft due to the Sloth’s penchant for Under 18 Female meat.
Remember me? Here I am with the Sloth.
![]("http://www.sacredheritage.com/normita/images/sloth-3.jpg"/)
Hmm, someone without a job or life seems to be going to great lengths to insult Andy today. Could it be that Alex Kaseberg has finally found this site?
Speaking of which, does anyone have any good pictures of me?
That picture of the Sloth is hereby banned!
Oh, wait. No balls. I guess that’s okay.
And accurate.
That’s right, Chuck.
Your blog’s next, after I wipe out Sloth’s.
I wipe my ass with the constitution, by the way.
It’s us.
We finally made it back to our PC’s after littering I-55 with Budweiser cans.
Herr Ashcroft:
What’d I do? All the women I posted were over 30! Well, accept Alexa Vega. My biggest problem would seem to be a penchant for Russ Meyer-type babes. Does that violate your statue statute?
What’s up with all the vitriol on this site the last couple of days? Was there a Memorial Day sale of PCs on the South Side and in St. Louis? Did someone leak the website address to some douchebags from Missouri?
You phuckwads wasting bandwidth with this shite? Get an afternoon game.
Cold ice.
Ugly bull dyke.
Lousy Bear Quarterback.
Douchebag from Missouri.
Yeah, heh! Everyone from Missouri is a douchebag! Heh!
Oh, wait…
Oh man, that Kaseberg joke could be his worst yet.
As Bill Walton would say, "he’s terrrrrrrible."
The surprising thing is, there’s all this vitriol against Dolan today and none of it came from me. Or my Army of Aliases, which a clever boy can find through an IP address log.
Does anybody find it odd that a BC column comes up when Andy starts to take some heat?
Must let Lackey and Colon stay on the skids by drawing some walks on these slobs so there are people on for all the HRs they give up.
Escobar has been on of late, so Clement’s going to have to keep it rolling Sunday.
Andy, I just want to let you know I’m liberated now. I don’t care who’s a fag no more.
Chone Figgins? Man, didn’t yo’ mutha know how to spell yo’ first name, muthaphucka?
Okay Coach!