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Two of our favorite asshats collided this week, when Al Yellon decided to give advice to Crane Kenney now that the world knows of the secret shame the Cubs have been hiding for several months…that they gave Crane a five-year contract extension. It’s probably not a good sign when your boss says, “Sure, we’ll add some years to your deal, but we’re not telling anybody.”  I mean, you get the cash, which is the most important thing, but both sides are basically acknowledging that the outside world hates the idea. So basically, hiring Crane Kenney is like riding a moped.  It’s all good fun until somebody sees you on it.  Wait, that’s not how the jokes goes, is it?  Never mind.

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The Cubs are serious about this Wrigley Field renovation stuff.  So serious they had their de facto chairman, Tom Ricketts stare glass eyed into a camera in all sorts of casual Friday apparel to state the case why the Cubs are tired of waiting for the rooftop owners to agree with them on their renovation plan, so screw it, the Cubs are going back to their original plans and they’re going to just do it.  Probably.  Perhaps.

The video, shot on location on beautiful Wrigley Field, and in its bowels, makes the case that this time, it’s really time to get started on this renovation thing, eventually, maybe, hopefully.

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Maybe the whole NL Central sucks

Maybe the whole NL Central sucks


Posted on May 15, 2014 in Cubs

Don Zimmer, that baseball sage best known for having a metal plate in his head (and looking like a gerbil) used to say that 40 games into any season you have a pretty good idea of how good teams are.  Any team that is .500 or better probably has a chance to contend, any team under .500 at that point is probably going to stink.

The Cubs have not played 40 games yet, but at 13-25 even if they win their 39th and 40th games they’re going to be 10 games under .500.  That’s pretty awful.

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If nothing else, the 2014 Cubs will be remembered for egregious use of bat flips.  I say “egregious” because I like to use words that look like they’re Latin for Gregory, but in fact I’d argue that these batflips are not unnecessary at all.  These Cubs need to celebrate small victories, because the big ones aren’t coming.  So, if Luis Valbuena wants to bat flip a hard hit ball at the first baseman, go for it.

Last night as the Cubs pounded the White Sox, we got not one, but two great examples of how you “accept” your base on balls.  Luis and Junior Lake demonstrate:

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The State Of Being a Red-Assed Cubs Fan

The State Of Being a Red-Assed Cubs Fan


Posted on Apr 14, 2014 in Cubs

There are dozens…no, probably hundreds of people who take the time to write, at least occasionally, online about the Chicago Cubs.  Some of them are entertaining, some aren’t, some are pretty good and some are terrible.  But for some reason, one stands above us all when it comes to spewing opinionated nonsense about our favorite baseball team.  It’s not just opinionated.  Hell, anybody worth reading has an opinion, it’s especially sanctimonious opinionated nonsense in this case.

Over the years, I have taken the time to take this person to task when he’s been especially daft.  If I did it every time he wrote something dumb, it would be my full-time job.  Nowadays when he’s really asking for it, people on Twitter send up the Al signal, and I feel compelled to drop what I’m doing and respond.

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Johnny, what do you make of this?

Johnny, what do you make of this?


Posted on Apr 1, 2014 in Cubs

No regular season game gets more overanalyzed than the first one.  It’s only natural, we have nothing else to compare it to.  On Wednesday, the Cubs will play again, and we’ll have yesterday’s game to compare it to (spoiler alert: it probably won’t end well, either), then Thursday, and on and on.  But opening day exists in a vacuum at least for 48 hours or so.

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A Nice Little Place On The North Side

You might know George Will best from all those Sunday mornings he spent unabashedly flirting with Cokie Roberts back when David Brinkley was hosing the Sunday morning ABC politics show.  Or, you may know him for writing a fawning tribute to the genius of The Genius, Tony LaRussa.  Since we’re all Cubs fans here, we all know that he famously said that while growing up in Champaign, Illinois he had to make the choice between rooting for the Cubs or the Cardinals, and he chose a life of misery and disappointment–two things normally associated with living in Champaign in the first place.

I know I wasn’t the only person with a Cubs web site to get sent an advance copy of Will’s new book, “A Nice Little Place On The North Side” (apparently Random House didn’t get the “fading blog star” memo), but I seem to be the only one who actually read it.  Hell, Yellon will do anything for something free, and even he hasn’t written a review of it yet.

The book, is ostensibly a breezy history of the 100 years of Wrigley Field, and the stuff that’s gone on inside of the old ballpark.  Some of the most interesting stuff has little to do with the Cubs (not surprisingly.)  One long passage is the history of beer.  Seriously.  It’s actually fascinating and well done.

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