Posts Tagged "crane kenney"


Joe called Ricky

Joe called Ricky


Posted on Nov 5, 2014 in Cubs

True to his word, new Cubs manager Joe Maddon placed a call to former Cubs manager Rick(y) Renteria not long after the press conference to announce Joe’s hiring.

You might think it would be awkward for the old manager to have to talk to the guy who not only replaced him, but basically shoved him out of his job into the street.

You don’t know the half of it.

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Two of our favorite asshats collided this week, when Al Yellon decided to give advice to Crane Kenney now that the world knows of the secret shame the Cubs have been hiding for several months…that they gave Crane a five-year contract extension. It’s probably not a good sign when your boss says, “Sure, we’ll add some years to your deal, but we’re not telling anybody.”  I mean, you get the cash, which is the most important thing, but both sides are basically acknowledging that the outside world hates the idea. So basically, hiring Crane Kenney is like riding a moped.  It’s all good fun until somebody sees you on it.  Wait, that’s not how the jokes goes, is it?  Never mind.

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In an effort to needlessly remind us how incompetent they are at pretty much everything, the Cubs, to their own astonishment, unveiled a new mascot yesterday and everybody hated…him?  It?  Whatever.  Clark the Cub is meant to hug the shit out of little Cubs fans and sell a lot of swag to the gullible parents of those little kids.  That’s it.  He’s not going to be riding a four wheeler around Wrigley, crashing into the brick wall and dying…though, that would be awesome.  He’s unlikely to dance on the dugouts or stick a pie in a player’s face after the rare Cubs win.  What he’s supposed to do is wander around the concourses looking cute and distracting Cubs fans like the last Cubs mascot to not wear pants…Marla Collins.

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Al and Tom, a farce in three acts

Al and Tom, a farce in three acts


Posted on Dec 28, 2011 in Cubs, Featured

You remember, because nobody could ever forget, that last year, Al Yellon had a sitdown with Cubs “owner” Tom Ricketts, where he asked Tom 100 questions, and 94 of them were “Who owns the Cubs?” After a thorough grilling like that it’s no wonder that Ricketts and Al sat down again.  Let’s take a look at what they covered–mostly so we can see how many ways Al can ask, “Who does Theo report to?”

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