So the Cubs are billing this 2014 season the “Party of the Century.” Oh, boy.
They released the promo schedule today. Keep in mind it’s Wrigley’s 100th anniversary, so some of the giveaways are not entirely Cubs focused. For instance in July they have a promotion where you get a bobblehead version of the Dave Matthews Band tour bus and it releases liquified feces off a bridge onto your bookshelf every 30 days. So there’s that.
But let’s look at what they’re giving away. Every homestand celebrates a different decade.
So sure, we got scooped last week by the dreamy Patrick Mooney, but that doesn’t mean we’re not going forward with it. Today starts what is definitely a spring-long first-person account of the Cubs season by the greatest Cub of them all, Luis Valbuena. How long into the season this goes…well, only God, Emilio Bonifacio and Rick(y) Renteria know for sure.
So, spring training started last week. I counted and this is my eleventh one. I’ve had them in Tempe (Mariners), Winter Haven, Florida (Cleveland), Goodyear, Arizona (also Cleveland), Dunedin, Florida (Blue Jays) and Mesa (Cubs). The new park is pretty cool, but the best part is that we didn’t bother to tell Donnie Murphy that we had a new ballpark. He played catch with a chain link fence at Hohokam for twenty minutes last Monday until he figured out he was in the wrong place.
I’m really looking forward to this season. Coming to the Cubs two years ago was the best thing that’s happened in my career. They got me off waivers from the Blue Jays and I spent some time in Iowa in 2012, and then they realized that Ian Stewart sucked, they blamed it on his wrist and I’ve basically been the third baseman ever since. They’re going to pay me two million dollars this year. Two million. No way, I’d make that kind of money on a real team.
While winter up here shows no signs of letting up, the Cubs are in a brand new ballpark, soaking up the sun and getting ready for another awesome season of baseball, down there in Mesa, Arizona.
Cactus League games start on Thursday, and Desipio.com is your one stop shop for all things spring training. You want game previews, recaps, reports on what players are making a run at the roster and which are punching their tickets to the bush leagues?
Well, do ya?
It’s so easy to ignore David Haugh’s existence that after awhile you forget just how colossally stupid he is. Then, occasionally, he goes out of his way to remind us. Today was one of those days.
Maybe he figured that because he and Dave Kaplan were about to make their debut on WGN’s new pseudo-FM sports talk station The Game 87.7 FM WKQX. That’s right, even though your car stereo doesn’t go that low, they are broadcasting on 87.7 FM, and it’s also simulcast on channel 6 on TV. Not video, just the audio. It all seems so pointless. Much like employing David Haugh.
Today, Chicago’s favorite dumbshit decided to reinforce the fact that he knows nothing about baseball. Lets’ enjoy.
Spring Training starts this week…well, at the least the part where guys play catch and we pretend like winter will be over soon. So now seems as good a time as any to break down the mighty Chicago Cubs position by position.
Monday we checked out the catchers.
Tuesday we dug up some poop on the infielders.
Wednesday we looked at the sorry state of the outfielders.
Thursday you got 2,500 words on the woeful bullpen.
So today, all that’s left are the starting pitchers.