So the Cubs finally have a new manager. I for one was getting pretty antsy about the whole thing. Mostly because they have a game coming up…in four months.
They have hired Rick Renteria. Renteria has served the last few years as the Padres bench coach, dispensing pearls of wisdom to Bud Black. He spent eight years in the minors as a manager, including a season in lovely Geneva, Illinois managing the Kane County Cougars.
So today, Gordon Wittenmyer of what’s left of the Chicago Sun-Times decided to play Snopes and debunk five things he thinks are myths about the Cubs rebuilding plan. Because two years of rebuilding 100 years of suck is more than enough, so it’s time to expose Theo Epstein for what he really is, a big fraud who poops his pants.
Cubs’ rebuilding project has taken on as much fiction as fact
Myths? Fiction? Hey, it’s not like a headline writer’s got time to actually read the article.
How quickly will the on-field misery for players and fans continue? How many more doomed-from-the-start seasons will be endured until somebody besides the opponent is celebrating at Wrigley?
Well, it’s been 105 years of on-field misery for players and fans, so what’s a year or two or five more?
Last week was just one giant clusterfuck for the boy geniuses (geniui?) that run the Cubs. Theo Epstein claims his remarks that no decision had been made on bringing Dale Sveum back for the 2014 season that he’s contractually obligated to manage, were just a case of him “answering questions honestly.”
His honesty started speculation that the Cubs were going to wait and see if Joe Girardi and Ron Gardenhire become available before they tell Dale if he needs to take down the Slayer posters in his office.
When Theo decided to clarify things he pointed out that Dale is not being evaluated on wins and losses (good thing for Dale), but on player development and communication.
Ryan Dempster, Cubs pitcher 2004-2012
I said all along that all I wanted to do was help the Cubs, and if I could help them by being traded to a contender for some supergreat prospects, then I was happy to do it. Theo [Epstein, Cubs President of Baseball Operations] and the little guy who works for him [Cubs General Manager Jed Hoyer] asked me to make a list of teams I’d be willing to waive my 10 and 5 no trade rights to go play for. So I did.
He did make us a list. It was about six feet long, written in crayon and on toilet paper. To be honest, I don’t even know how you can write on toilet paper with crayon.
It was hilarious. And it took me like 17 hours.
The Cubs have started spring training, so winter is officially over. To celebrate, I burned all of my winter coats and threw my shovel onto my neighbor’s roof. Those kinds of traditions never get old.
When they allow him to use his actual camera, and not just his iPhone, Tribune photog Scott Strazzante does a pretty nice job. But the captions the Tribune puts on his photos are shit. So I’ve improved them. Mouse-over the photos to get a second whack at each caption.