Two idiots, no waiting
Aug19

Two idiots, no waiting

So, on Saturday, the Phillies fired folksy old Charlie Manuel and replaced him as manager with Ryne Sandberg.  Cubs fans had three reactions: That’s nice for Ryne. Who gives a shit? THE CUBS ARE SO STUPIDS! WHY DIDN’T THEY HIRE RYAN SANDBURG TO MANAGE THE TEAM, HE’D MAKE STARLIN CASTRO MAKE NO ERRORS OR ELSE! Two of our favorite deep thinkers, Chicago Tribune national baseball writer Phil Rogers and erstwhile Cubs...

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It was never boring
Jan05

It was never boring

Despite the hand-wringing of the usual gaggle of dolts who write about the Cubs when Theo Epstein said it would be a “trust but verify” situation that could get Carlos Zambrano back on the mound for the Cubs this season, it was never going to happen.  Theo wasn’t going to let Carlos pitch an inning for the Cubs this year, and if he could avoid it, he would trade him before spring training ever started. Well, it looks...

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Al and Tom, a farce in three acts
Dec28

Al and Tom, a farce in three acts

You remember, because nobody could ever forget, that last year, Al Yellon had a sitdown with Cubs “owner” Tom Ricketts, where he asked Tom 100 questions, and 94 of them were “Who owns the Cubs?” After a thorough grilling like that it’s no wonder that Ricketts and Al sat down again.  Let’s take a look at what they covered–mostly so we can see how many ways Al can ask, “Who does Theo...

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Theo and Jed are taking out the trash
Dec22

Theo and Jed are taking out the trash

Our good friend Dave Kaplan breathlessly tweeted yesterday “Breaking Cubs news: Cubs to completely rebuild.” That was breaking news in the same way that “Breaking Bears news: Caleb Hanie still sucks,” would be breaking news.  Did I miss something, or when Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer and the rest of the Beantown Boy Band showed up, wasn’t their message–hammered over and over again–that they were...

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Should the Cubs be willing to trade anybody?
Nov29

Should the Cubs be willing to trade anybody?

Every time I see outrage on the Interwebs among Cubs fans I reflexively run to the side opposite the outrage.  The reason?  Cubs fans are idiots. What caused the idiot horde to take their rage out for a spin yesterday?  Busty Olney reported the Cubs would listen to trade offers on Matt Garza. WELL HOLY SHIT MERLENE, GET THE PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES, WEEZE GONNA PAY THEO A LITTLE VISIT! A quick scan of the Cubs 40 man roster is a...

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