Posts Tagged "ryne sandberg"

Doubling down on dumb

Doubling down on dumb

Posted on Aug 29, 2013 in Cubs, Featured, Media Hacks

I’m sure I’ll be accused of basically sitting out another Cubs season only to post when someone (usually Al Yellon) writes something so dumb that I can’t let it go without comment.

That’s pretty much completely true.

So on Monday, when Al wrote his idiotic “Open Letter to Cubs Fans” I realized I was going to have to find time to rip it to shreds, and today seemed like the first real chance to do it.

But Al couldn’t wait for me.  He wanted to top that bit of idiocy and he did.

So what’s a boy to do?  I guess, I’ll just have to scream at both.

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Two idiots, no waiting

Two idiots, no waiting

Posted on Aug 19, 2013 in Cubs, Featured

So, on Saturday, the Phillies fired folksy old Charlie Manuel and replaced him as manager with Ryne Sandberg.  Cubs fans had three reactions:

  • That’s nice for Ryne.
  • Who gives a shit?

Two of our favorite deep thinkers, Chicago Tribune national baseball writer Phil Rogers and erstwhile Cubs blogger dumbshit Al Yellon both wrote predictably vapid hot takes on the subject.

Let’s hit the highlights:

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Look at this gem: Hot Days of August!

Posted on Feb 12, 2013 in Cubs

YouTube is the greatest.  Check this out.  Here’s a commercial free version of a late season special produced by WGN-TV in 1984 recapping the rise of the Cubs.  You get Steve Stone in a leisure suit, Harry in a sissy blue sweater, Jim Frey creepily staring into the camera when he talks and way too many interviews with Tony Garofalo.

Are you going to watch all 43 minutes of it?

Of course you are.

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6268__nlcs-primary-1984All winter long I’ve been tempted to take the time to watch the replay of game five of the 1984 National League Championship Series between the Cubs and Padres.  Why?  I mean, I know how it ends, and it’s ugly and painful.  But I was 11 years old when it happened, and I’ve never seen it since, so I don’t feel like I remember any of it really.  I know the famous stuff that happens, but I kind of want to re-live it.  What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?  Isn’t that what Kelly Clarkson sings while she’s eating pancakes by the table full?

So I paid my $2.99 for the offseason monthly fee to watch whatever you want on and fired up the game from October 7, 1984.  Cubs at Padres.  Rick Sutcliffe versus Eric Show Part Deux, broadcast on ABC, the afternoon that Walter Payton broke Jim Brown’s career rushing record.

The open has Earl Weaver, Don Drysdale and Reggie Jackson in awful royal blue blazers all talking about how awful it would be to gag away a 2-0 series lead.  Weaver actually admits he’s blown a 3-1 lead in a series before.

Then they send it to the field where Tim McCarver and Steve Garvey are taking about how Garvey went 4-5 in game four and hit a game winning homer off of Lee Smith.  It was 29 years ago, and I’m pretty sure that listening to Garvey now, that I’m going to kill myself.  Garvey says it was a special moment for his “special wife” and “special daughters.”  As we now know, Steve could have been referring to dozens of people around southern California.

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Last time on Mild Retardation Theater, Phil waxed poetic about…Curtis Granderson…again (I know, right?), how Kenny Williams assraped Brad Eldred’s budding career four years ago and how Marlon Byrd’s mere presence had righted whatever was wronging the Red Sox.  Let’s see what the brilliant baseball brain has for us this week:

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