Cubs fans remind us all that we’re the dumbest
Jul27

Cubs fans remind us all that we’re the dumbest

Dear Cubs fans, Knock it off.  Just quit it.  What is wrong with you?1 There’s no right or wrong way to be a fan.  But you’re doing it wrong. Yes, it sucks that this team hasn’t played well since Jhonny Peralta dumped one in the basket a few weeks ago.  The lost series to the hapless White Sox sucked, needing miraculous finishes to split with the equally awful Reds wasn’t a great sign, and falling down,...

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Kris Bryant just made Jim Bowden even dumber
Mar30

Kris Bryant just made Jim Bowden even dumber

The Cubs made three significant moves today. They reassigned Kris Bryant to minor league camp to the surprise of no one and to the chagrin of those who enjoy trying to act morally wronged.  hey sent Addison Russell to minor league camp despite manager Joe Maddon dry humping him with praise on his way out the door, and they sent Javy Baez to AAA camp so he can strike out in the relative obscurity of Des Moines for a month or two. None...

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Six questions with Jon Lester
Mar04

Six questions with Jon Lester

ESPNChicago.com’s Jesse Rogers has been doing “Five Question” interviews sporadically at Cubs camp this spring.  So I figured, “I’m better than Jesse.  I’ll do SIX question interviews.” Today, the series starts with new Cubs ace Jon Lester.1 How creeped out were you by the sweatpants wearing horde of Iowans at the Cubs Convention? They were pretty intense.  We had some weirdos in Boston when I...

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As if you don’t already like Anthony Rizzo enough
Feb16

As if you don’t already like Anthony Rizzo enough

Cubs fans have had basically a decade of great first basemen who also happen to be awesome people.1  If you didn’t get a chance to see the MLB Network features on Anthony Rizzo, his battle with cancer, his great story about the first time he met Jon Lester, his two trades, and the incredible story of the night he fulfilled Kramer’s insane Paul O’Neill homer request, here they are. Your browser does not support...

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Go to Hell, Theo
Dec23

Go to Hell, Theo

The suits at Desipio’s parent company are demanding fresh content, and so they had me pre-write this in the event that the Cubs do the unthinkable and trade Luis Valbuena over the Christmas holiday.  I think I handled it very maturely. Of course, it’s easy to take the high road when you know nothing this apocalyptic will actually happen. Fuck you Theo. Fuck you, fuck your preppy Ivy League background, fuck the mom jeans...

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