Over the past few weeks we've received a flood...no, a torrent (is that more than a flood?) of e-mails asking us simple (not stupid) questions about the site.  It's great that so many new people are learning the value of Desipio Media Ventures, so let's provide a quick course to get you up to speed.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What the hell does Desipio mean?
Desipio is a Latin word that translates loosely to "to make an ass of oneself."  It seemed perfect to us.

Who are these people?
The new guy -- Awful, horrible Tribune columnist Michael Holley.
Skippy Handleman -- That's our pet name for Chicago Tribune moron...er, columnist Skip Bayless.  He's just clueless enough to remind us of the Keaton's next door neighbor.  You remember Skippy, the one who had the crush on Mallory (who didn't?) for eight years.
The Wizard of Roz -- Arlington Heights Daily Herald columnist Barry Rozner
Sleeves Buford -- Chicago Cubs (ex-)center fielder Damon Buford.  If you've ever seen the enormous cut-off sweatshirt sleeves that protrude from his uniform, you'll see why we gave him the nickname.
Groundell White -- Cubs leftfielder Rondell White, who leads the universe in grounding into double plays.
Cerrano -- Cubs' first baseman Julio Zuleta, who bears a striking resemblance to the right fielder in Major League, Pedro Cerrano.  "F@#$ you Jobu!  I do it myself!"
The Hamster -- Jerry Krause

What is "going Rambo"?
Going Rambo is when one man destroys his opponent by himself.  This term derives itself from the First Blood movies and Johnny Rambo.  But more importantly it comes from Durand High School gym classes and the amount of time we played battle ball.  (Kind of like dodge ball only more violent.)  When one player hoarded all the ammo (dodge balls) and picked off the rest of the other team, he "went Rambo."  Guys like Allen Iverson, Vince Carter, Sammy Sosa and Pedro Martinez go Rambo quite a bit.

Why would an athlete have a fork sticking out of him?  Because he's done.  Recent examples include Harold Baines and Rick Ankiel.

What happened to our old favorites, Boobtube, Balls! and Desipio News Net?  
They're still around, somewhat.  Your old favorite articles are still there, but with the shift to the Daily Dose, the other three sites don't get updated every day anymore.  The stuff is still just as funny (huh?) it's just in a different spot.  It's actually easier to find now.  Trust us!

Why is the Daily Dose only updated six times a day?  
Because Saturday's newspapers suck.  So we take that day off.