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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unlistenable
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on: April 28, 2013, 09:03:53 AM
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In a town that has color guys like Hawk, Zonk, Edzo and Stacey King - Jim Deshaies is an absolute titan.
Hawk is a color guy? I'm asking seriously because I have no idea what he thinks he's doing. He invented the batting glove, that grants him license to do whatever he wants. There was a dude on our new Cody's team rocking a batting glove in practice the other day. He was a bit mentally challenged, so I said nothing. But one of our other guys wondered aloud about the possibility of wearing wide receiver gloves in 16" softball. I looked around for Fork, Huey, Oleg etc. and none of them were there. So I laid into the guy vehemently and said, absolutely fucking not. What the hell have I turned into? Did you order him to get off your lawn? He's older than me, so no. If any of the aforementioned were there, he would have been more thoroughly disparaged to be sure. I was about as condescending as I could manage though. I'm sorry I'm just getting to this now. What the fuck? |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2013 Epstink's Chicago Cubstinks
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on: April 26, 2013, 11:47:28 AM
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CINCINNATI -- Cody Ransom will make his Cubs' debut Tuesday night at Great American Ball Park, playing third and batting seventh against Reds rookie left-hander Tony Cingrani.
Tickets are still available. That's a quality PAUL SULLIVAN burn. And just like that, it's bonertime in his first Cubs AB. FYPS? Cody Ransom homers in first Cubs at-bat. Can't remember last time that happened either. https://twitter.com/PWSullivan/status/326840661850587136Starlin Castro is last Cubs player to homer in first at-bat, in Cincy in 2010. I am no doubt the only Desipiot who can remember the last Ransom to play third base for the Cubs. He wasn't bad. Made the All Star game twice. Some might even say he was handsome. They would be exaggerating. Apropos of Stew's post, my 79 year dad had recently gotten an iPad and I used it to show him the wonders of baseball-reference.com. To test his memory, we looked up Frank Ernaga, as my dad had claimed that the guy hit a homer and a triple off of Warren Spahn in his first two at-bats and then largely disappeared. Turns out he was right. Apple meet tree? |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: I admit it...
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on: April 22, 2013, 04:36:25 PM
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So, the new regime has been in place for just over a year.
They have three All-Star caliber players already on the ML roster (assuming Snork continues to pan out).
The system has at least 3 top-level prospects, albeit incredibly young, who will be important pieces of the next Cubs contender (4 prospects in all on the BP101).
They have the second pick in the upcoming draft and will have another top 3 pick next June.
The system currently boasts some pretty good hitting talent/depth below the top-3.
The minor league system currently ranks 12th (after ranking 20th during Hendry's last year) according to Baseball Prospectus.
Yeah, as a Cubs fan, I see no reason to get excited or to continue to care. Fuck that.
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: I admit it...
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on: April 12, 2013, 03:35:57 PM
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...I am disappointed that Li'lBitch got a hit.
It was quite the quandary for me. Had Nillibridge been up with nobody out and nobody on, there would have been no contest - I'd have been very happy to see him continue his streak. With the bases loaded and the chance to break the game open (at least until Starlin broke it closed again) for the Cubs, though? I admit, I was torn. That was some Cody's softball shit there. Oh, to be a fly in Mike D.'s cubicle when that deal went down. I stopped watching at that stage. Call it experience, call it a premonition... I knew there was no way the Cubs were going to hang on to their lead. A FEELING? MORE THAN A FEELING? HOOKED ON A FEELING? CAN I BORROW A FEELING? YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVING FEELING? SECOND THAT EMOTION! |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2013 Epstink's Chicago Cubstinks
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on: April 09, 2013, 05:50:57 PM
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In my high school journalism class my teacher, Ben Franklin, taught us that when writing a sports article describing a home team loss one should never make up excuses. "We would'a won but every time we batted the wind blew in and every time they batted the wind blew out" Jesus, how old are you? Nice work, Pen. You went for the joke that was too obvious even for Fork and Morph. |
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7
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2013 Epstink's Chicago Cubstinks
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on: March 29, 2013, 02:02:35 PM
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Every day I come to this thread hoping to read that the Cubs persuaded Soriano to give up his aversion to becoming a Giant and that they traded him for half of the Giants' starting rotation.
In that case, next time, come to this thread after taking a hit of acid. |
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11
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Single Greatest Thread Ever
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on: February 22, 2013, 10:46:27 AM
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ZORP ragFebruary 20, 2013
The Lineup Card
11 Favorite Off-Season Moves
by Baseball Prospectus
9. Cubs trade Tony Campana to Arizona For Two Living Homo Sapiens
This is how you know Theo Epstein is a heartless, calculating bastard. Sure, Campana can’t “hit” or “get on base” or “play baseball” in a major-league sense, but he was so f’n cute. Seriously, it’s as if Ollie from “Hoosiers” left the farm and signed with the Cubs, and showed up at the ballpark in the back of a pickup truck. Campana has the strangest build of any ballplayer I’ve seen, even more so, and in a very different way, than Sidney Ponson, whom I had the misfortune of seeing in a towel. Campana is all arms and legs. He’d have the build of a hurdler if only the hurdles weren’t so danged high. He acted the way he looked, carrying that aw-shucks demeanor over to his oh-so-precious encounters with the media.
Yet he was really fun to watch, there is no denying that. His Cubs uniform was too floppy and his hat a size too big, and when he got going, he was as fast as any player in the game. His inside-the-park homer on a grounder up the left-field line in 2011 was electric. Once then-Reds outfielder Yonder Alonso overran the ball in the corner, Campana exploded on the basepaths. He could have scored and made it back to second base. He also seemed to be able to steal bases at will, even though every pitcher and catcher in the league knew that his entire value was wrapped up in that skill.
Somewhere along the line, you’d have thought that someone would have told Campana that under no circumstance was he to swing at a ball outside of the strike zone. Not that there was any reason for opposing pitchers to avoid the zone—I’m not sure Campana can actually hit the ball over a major-league fence. Still, he has an inconceivably aggressive approach at the plate. Yet for all his shortcomings, there is value in a player like him, if you have the roster spot. The Cubs aren’t at a place to get that value, but if you’ve got a solid, balanced four-man outfield core, then Campana makes an ideal complement with his game-changing speed and range in the field.
As the ultimate underdog, Campana connected with the Cubs’ fan base in a big way. During introductions at the team’s annual fan convention last month, Campana might have received a bigger ovation than Ernie Banks. It was really close. Yet, Epstein and his cronies apparently believe that actual organization building outweighs the fact that Campana is the kind of player grannies like to bake for. Cynical pricks. —Bradford Doolittle
The fact that Oleg posted this only makes it better. It does? Yes, because unlike some people, Oleg is able to copy and paste text without inserting typos into it. Maybe my keyboard is just less advanced than other's? |
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12
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Single Greatest Thread Ever
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on: February 21, 2013, 09:12:06 PM
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ZORP ragFebruary 20, 2013
The Lineup Card
11 Favorite Off-Season Moves
by Baseball Prospectus
9. Cubs trade Tony Campana to Arizona For Two Living Homo Sapiens
This is how you know Theo Epstein is a heartless, calculating bastard. Sure, Campana can’t “hit” or “get on base” or “play baseball” in a major-league sense, but he was so f’n cute. Seriously, it’s as if Ollie from “Hoosiers” left the farm and signed with the Cubs, and showed up at the ballpark in the back of a pickup truck. Campana has the strangest build of any ballplayer I’ve seen, even more so, and in a very different way, than Sidney Ponson, whom I had the misfortune of seeing in a towel. Campana is all arms and legs. He’d have the build of a hurdler if only the hurdles weren’t so danged high. He acted the way he looked, carrying that aw-shucks demeanor over to his oh-so-precious encounters with the media.
Yet he was really fun to watch, there is no denying that. His Cubs uniform was too floppy and his hat a size too big, and when he got going, he was as fast as any player in the game. His inside-the-park homer on a grounder up the left-field line in 2011 was electric. Once then-Reds outfielder Yonder Alonso overran the ball in the corner, Campana exploded on the basepaths. He could have scored and made it back to second base. He also seemed to be able to steal bases at will, even though every pitcher and catcher in the league knew that his entire value was wrapped up in that skill.
Somewhere along the line, you’d have thought that someone would have told Campana that under no circumstance was he to swing at a ball outside of the strike zone. Not that there was any reason for opposing pitchers to avoid the zone—I’m not sure Campana can actually hit the ball over a major-league fence. Still, he has an inconceivably aggressive approach at the plate. Yet for all his shortcomings, there is value in a player like him, if you have the roster spot. The Cubs aren’t at a place to get that value, but if you’ve got a solid, balanced four-man outfield core, then Campana makes an ideal complement with his game-changing speed and range in the field.
As the ultimate underdog, Campana connected with the Cubs’ fan base in a big way. During introductions at the team’s annual fan convention last month, Campana might have received a bigger ovation than Ernie Banks. It was really close. Yet, Epstein and his cronies apparently believe that actual organization building outweighs the fact that Campana is the kind of player grannies like to bake for. Cynical pricks. —Bradford Doolittle
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13
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: On the demise of WGN
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on: February 19, 2013, 02:08:23 PM
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Heh... Harp seal.
I do have a good view - but reliable internet connection is a bitch here. WildBlue isn't going to cut it for video streaming. I also agree that it is 2013 - and you would think that everywhere would be connected by now - however, I've noticed that in the little shithole community I've been in for the past four years that it has been 1955 since 1936.
Satellite Internet...ho-lee crap. The only times I've had to deal with that is in RVs in the middle of nowhere. I think streaming the Cubs is probably the least of your problems. That said...welcome back. No wonder he died. |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2011 - 20?? Bears Offseason(s) Thread
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on: February 12, 2013, 08:09:15 PM
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Rolling Stone had a great article about high school players who suffered concussions and one (they mention a couple more) who died when he was 17 from a hit. The article is not available online but I can lend you my magazine if you want to stop by and pick it up. Caveat: Needless to say, it's been in the bathroom with me.
Basically, the issue isn't just the blows to the head but also the underdeveloped brain, brain stem, and spine (the nervous system as a whole) of the dudes who are not yet adults.
There is just simply no good reason to allow kids to play tackle football. It's really scary shit. When I think about headaches I'd sometimes get after tackling drills...scares the piss out of me. /Forkstory
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