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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2013 Epstink's Chicago Cubstinks
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on: June 19, 2013, 05:23:40 PM
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Has anybody else noticed that Cody Ransom is now batting .286/.386/.662/1.030 for the Cubs, with 5 2B and a Sosa-esque 8HR in just 77AB?
DIS KID IS ONE FOR DA FUTURE MY FRENTS.
Edit: he's actually pretty terrible against righties (except Adam Wainwright, yay) but his line against lefties is .327/.407/.827. Against southpaws, Cody Ransom is *literally* Barry Bonds.
Also, he's not even the best lefty-killer on the Cubs. Navarro is batting a chuckle-inducing .556/.652/1.056/1.708 (!) with 10 hits, 5 BB and 3HR in just 18AB.
I have. It's very weird. It's also funny that he's 78 years old. If the Cubs get anything close to worthwhile at the deadline for Gregg, Ransom or S'weenie, Theo and Jed deserve a big old sloppy buttkiss. What? No. No, no, no. |
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General Category / On-Hoops.com / Re: NBA Hoop Thread (Non-Fro Dog Edition)
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on: June 19, 2013, 01:51:59 PM
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Wow. I was listening on the radio and Tirico said something about people leaving. I got home in time for overtime and the stands still looked full, so I figured he was exaggerating or wrong. Anyone who left should never be allowed into another sporting event. According to ESPN, teams that lead by 5 points with 20-30 seconds remaining win 98.6 percent of the time. If somebody wanted to start walking out rather than watch an opponent celebrate a title on their team's home floor, I'm not going to call them a shitty fan. That's fucking illiterate. I hear all the time about awful Miami Heat fans but I follow dozens of them on Twitter that are just like everybody else. So there are some real doucherockets with season tickets in the lower bowl of American Airlines Arena. The upper reaches are always filled with fans who come early to watch LeBron put on his dunk display in warmups and stay late just like fans of every other NBA team besides the Pacers, who despite having arguably the third best team in the league, ranked 27th in attendance this year. That's lower than the Bobcats. And a word about the officiating. At the end of an NBA Finals Game 6, don't go begging for calls. LeBron shouldn't either but he did and that's the one thing about him that really pisses me off. He's got to stop doing that shit. And then this. After Ray Allen's three, the officials stopped the game to review the shot and ensure that it was in fact a three-pointer. Clearly it was. When they stopped the game, San Antonio had no timeouts and Tim Duncan wasn't on the floor. You might have noticed that when Bosh was snagging the offensive rebound and finding Ray in the corner. Well, after the review, Duncan entered the game. That's an illegal substitution. It should have been a technical foul, Ray should have gotten a free throw and the ball and the game should never have gone to overtime. Bad is bad. Cry me a fucking river. I figured a guy who left a Bears/Vikings game in 2007 before the Bears staged a game-tying comeback (before still derping the game) would defend his Heat fan brethren. I've been that guy for quite some time now. I blame my ADD and my propensity for mind-crippling butthurt. I get too stressed out because I care way too much. I don't think that makes me a shitty fan, but probably means I have some personal issues to sort out.  Even if I did this, it would have to have been because I loved her very much, right? |
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General Category / On-Hoops.com / Re: NBA Hoop Thread (Non-Fro Dog Edition)
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on: June 19, 2013, 10:22:48 AM
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Wow. I was listening on the radio and Tirico said something about people leaving. I got home in time for overtime and the stands still looked full, so I figured he was exaggerating or wrong. Anyone who left should never be allowed into another sporting event. According to ESPN, teams that lead by 5 points with 20-30 seconds remaining win 98.6 percent of the time. If somebody wanted to start walking out rather than watch an opponent celebrate a title on their team's home floor, I'm not going to call them a shitty fan. That's fucking illiterate. I hear all the time about awful Miami Heat fans but I follow dozens of them on Twitter that are just like everybody else. So there are some real doucherockets with season tickets in the lower bowl of American Airlines Arena. The upper reaches are always filled with fans who come early to watch LeBron put on his dunk display in warmups and stay late just like fans of every other NBA team besides the Pacers, who despite having arguably the third best team in the league, ranked 27th in attendance this year. That's lower than the Bobcats. And a word about the officiating. At the end of an NBA Finals Game 6, don't go begging for calls. LeBron shouldn't either but he did and that's the one thing about him that really pisses me off. He's got to stop doing that shit. And then this. After Ray Allen's three, the officials stopped the game to review the shot and ensure that it was in fact a three-pointer. Clearly it was. When they stopped the game, San Antonio had no timeouts and Tim Duncan wasn't on the floor. You might have noticed that when Bosh was snagging the offensive rebound and finding Ray in the corner. Well, after the review, Duncan entered the game. That's an illegal substitution. It should have been a technical foul, Ray should have gotten a free throw and the ball and the game should never have gone to overtime. Bad is bad. Cry me a fucking river. People that live in Miami are human refuse. Mostly. What people don't really get though is that Miami is Latin America's team. They have an enormous Latino following inside and outside of the U.S. These people aren't represented in the lower bowl of AAA or on Twitter, but they cram the bars and outdoor party areas all over the city on game days. And then there is me. Alone. In my apartment. Screaming. They seemed to be fairly well represented in the video embedded at the bottom of that post. Meh...I don't think you'd find a city in the league where you wouldn't have some fans leaving with the team down 5 with 28 seconds to go or whatever it was. I'm not justifying their actions, I just don't think this is in any way unique to Miami. Plenty of actual reasons to dislike the the team without manufacturing ones. |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Pollyellon banned me
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on: June 18, 2013, 02:12:12 PM
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Honest question after finally reading that butt dripping of a column - any chance Al is just trolling for hits with this stuff? Or do I need to come to terms with the fact that there's a huge audience out there of people reading his stuff and sincerely nodding their dented heads in agreement?
The latter, for sure. Never underestimate the power of stupidity, especially among your own fanbase. |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: The all-purpose Irish Yeti random douchebaggery thread
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on: June 17, 2013, 02:29:14 PM
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Bump for some really impressive douchebaggery in the sbox.
*stands by douchebaggery* I just sloggered that. You really shouldn't. Too late, you're lumped in with him on this. Link? Start here. I sort of agree with him but don't think he expressed himself well enough to avoid coming off like a bit of a Deutschmark. Remember back when every single car in the suburbs had a "support the troops" ribbon magnet? My parents friends actually teased each other about who had more ribbon magnets because it was some sort of way of measuring patriotism. It was ridiculous. The "thoughts and prayers" tweets can be just as empty and meaningless, so I get Yeti's point. But how creepy would it be if nobody said anything? I think there should definitely be a standardized way for everyone to deal with the complex emotional issues that surround tragedy. And Yeti should be in charge of deciding that way. |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Pollyellon banned me
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on: June 17, 2013, 02:04:54 PM
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I'm extremely annoyed by this entire thing. Al even tried to rationalize this bullshit by saying he dreamed up this piece of shit when the Cubs were winning so people couldn't call it reactionary horseshit. As if it wasn't still horseshit.
Seriously this has almost ruined my whole day.
I have a really hard time believing that you finding something you can hate with all your heart has done anything but fuel your day. |
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General Category / Boobtube / Re: Blossom
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on: June 17, 2013, 10:31:49 AM
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In addition to taking medical advice from Rob Schneider, I also look to him for investment strategies and career choices. How about 20th Century European History? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxYtPD3eIUwIt can't be the government saying that. It’s against the Nuremberg Laws. So maybe it's not so much the mercury in vaccines that he objects to as the Jews blood. Preserve our essence. It pains me to say that Rob is part Jewish. Only the good part.  |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Butthurt
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on: June 14, 2013, 01:11:46 PM
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I don't know where to post this and I don't want to start a new thread, so this will do because I am butthurt by this and I don't want to start a new thread. In this morning's Chronicle I read that in Afghanistan a doctor was stoned to death for examining a female patient without a female chaperone in the room and a 14 year old boy selling coffee was beheaded for reusing to serve a Taliban. I wondered why we are even bothering in that uncivilized part of the world? Then, in the same paper I read that a 23 year old was shot to death in North Oakland on the evening of his graduation when he got out of his car to exchange information with the driver of the car that had just rear-ended him. Who are we to talk about bringing civilization to the rest of the world?
http://www.sfgate.com/default/article/Emeryville-man-slain-after-Oakland-crash-4598670.phpMy Mother-in-Law works at a hospital in Downtown Oakland (and up until recently lived in Emeryville.) She is frequently telling us the news from that neck of the woods (including a recent story about a paramedic who was killed by 4 kids in broad daylight) and for the life of me I cannot understand what goes on there. I'm sure Oakland isn't unique to horrible displays of humanity (for God's sake they killed an innocent elk here in Boulder) but it sure seems like good reason to continue to insist that she come here to visit rather than taking the family there. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to book flights for us to come to the safe haven of Chicago this summer. |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread
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on: June 13, 2013, 12:56:17 PM
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Bryant’s total package—not just his top-of-the-charts power—makes him the kind of player that San Diego coach Rich Hill said “comes along once in a coach’s career.” Come on, now, it can't be, can it? Sadly, it's not.While I'd normally put this in the Not Dead thread, Rich Hill is not only still alive, he's still pitching in the majors. He's on the Indians and in fact, made an appearance last night. Sadly, he's rocking a 7.79 ERA and 1.90 WHIP through 17 IPs so far this year. Here's a photo of him from a recent appearance:  |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Not Dead Yet
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on: June 12, 2013, 01:15:53 PM
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Did you cite W/L record as a stat that matters? Lay-zee.
It was the only way I could shoehorn in a post about Jason Marquis. And I think we can all agree that what we've been missing here is a Jason Marquis post. |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Not Dead Yet
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on: June 12, 2013, 01:07:18 PM
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DPD to acknowledge that Jason Marquis is tied for 2nd in the NL with 8 wins. Also to point out that we've seen this before. Career splits: Pre All-Star Break: 78-57 Post All-Star Break: 42-54 I'm sure if you're someone to dive deeper in to stats, you'd find that this current pace is certainly not sustainable and probably note his 50/43 K:BB ratio and other more advanced metrics. But you'd probably also be someone to neglect his new workout regime of...stick plunging?  |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Not Dead Yet
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on: June 12, 2013, 12:52:32 PM
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Since the prior "Where are they now" thread got Ratto'd and the "Single Greatest Thread" sure as shit isn't the place for updates on ex-Cubs, I figure we needed a new repository. And, what better inspiration for this than Neal freaking Cotts (que BK?) Rangers purchased the contract of LHP Neal Cotts from Triple-A Round Rock.
Cotts hasn't appeared in the majors since 2009 but has earned a call-up with some brilliant work at Triple-A, where he's posted a 0.78 ERA and absurd 42/5 K/BB ratio over 23 innings. He'll be used in middle relief.
Cotts' last appearance in the majors was 5/25/09 for the Cubs, so, if he were to pitch today that's 1,458 days between professional appearances. For reference, Ted Williams was in WW2 for 3 years and had 1,297 days between appearances. Not to be outdone by Neal Cotts, Jerome Williams has (quietly) been racking up quality appearances for the Angels for a couple of months now. After not appearing in the majors from May 15, 2007 - August 17, 2011 (1553 days in your FACE, Neal Cotts) Williams (who actually played a fairly full season last year in the bigs) is currently sporting a 2.87 ERA and 1.11 WHIP through 62.2 IPs this year (not including today's in-progress game against the Orioles.) Shockingly, despite seemingly being around for years and then out of baseball for all that time, he's still only 31 years old. Nice move, Jim. Also, this happened. Poor Jerome. Must have been a short stint in the bullpen considering that he's starting today, 6 days after that post. |
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General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread
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on: June 12, 2013, 12:50:26 PM
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Even though it's a very visual and auditory story, there's no video so we can't hear his pitch or see him in action. What year is this? /journalism rant Have you seen the video of Baez's 4 homers in Daytona? I've taken better quality videos with my FLIP PHONE. I'm not convinced that sub-AAA ball is actually being played in this century. I don't understand this PenPost at all. What does poor quality game video taken by low-paid, if at all, interns for a minor league team (for which coming up with broadcast-quality game video is an extremely low priority, if not the lowest) have to do with a professional news organization eschewing relatively cheap, not-so-new media tools to tell a story that practically begs for it? Sorry, I thought you linked to the Daytona Beach News-Journal. |
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