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News: Oct 12 - Oral History: Cubs hire Theo  http://www.desipio.com/?p=3639
 
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1  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2014 Chicago Cubs: Let's Go 2015 Cubs! on: September 19, 2014, 04:07:08 PM
Does anyone have a theory as to why Edwin Jackson is a starting pitcher  on the roster?

Because he's owed a lot of money

At this point, he's draft pick protection.

And excellent at it.  I'd be in favor of him making every start the rest of the season.  Not every fifth day, I mean every day.
2  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2014 General NFL Thread on: September 19, 2014, 12:53:19 PM
Hey guys, Brandon Marshall spent $100,000 to send his mom to rehab.  Best $100,000 he ever spent.  Look, here's the canceled check right here, it's on Page 1 of your packet.  $100,000!  Can you believe that?  He spent $100,000 on his mom!  Hey, $100,000 is better than $200,000, right mom??

Also, Gloria Allred is an eloquent bitch who's never done anything for victims but Roger Goodell is a swell dude and everyone should leave him alone.  And you'd better never accuse Brandon of rape, Peggy!  Got my eye on you!

pleasestopmakingmehatemyfavoriteteam
3  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: September 19, 2014, 12:40:03 PM
Cubs (and a couple other teams) using neuroscience to figure out if batters can be rewired to be better, smarter.

I have no idea how valid this is, but I freaking love our front office so much that they're at the forefront of this stuff. 

Yet another lightspeed difference from the last guys. 

Not too surprising. Chris Moore is the Cubs' new-ish Director of R&D and he studied neuroscience at Princeton.

Some examples of stuff he's written about before joining the front office:
http://baseballanalysts.com/archives/crunching_the_numbers/002316-print.html
http://baseballanalysts.com/archives/2009/12/controlling_the.php
http://baseballanalysts.com/archives/2009/12/bayesian_umpire.php


They don't play the game in your brain, though,  nerds. It's played with arms and limbs out on the field.

A silly laptop ain't never hit no ball.
4  General Category / You know why critics like Elvis Costello? / Re: New Music & Stuff I Recently Acquired on: September 18, 2014, 11:03:20 PM
I think this is an ok thread to say that I argued with both my sisters today that Kings of Leon suck, even though I don't know any of their music. They tried using some sort of logic which led me to say that I'm glad their drummer broke his leg.

I don't know why but I felt good about that.

Also a bird shit in one guy's mouth during a show and they cancelled. Birds even hate those guys. They're awful.

Kings of Leon vs Imagine Dragons.  Discuss.

That would truly be a Vampire Weekend.

Poor man's Death Cab, or shit Belle & Sebastian?  Vampire Weekend is literally the worst.  Every time I see the cunt who does the "singing", I want to beat the living piss out of him.

Do you really think you're better than Ezra?

Re-Fork'd
5  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2014 General NFL Thread on: September 18, 2014, 11:00:49 PM
DAT'S WHY DEY NEVER SHOULDA CUT DAT DEVIN HESTER! NICE CHOICE PHIL!
6  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: September 18, 2014, 06:32:01 PM
With one announcement left to make, Myrtle Beach replaces Daytona and South Bend replaces Kane County.  No word yet on their short season-A/rookie slot and Boise is still listed on the Cubs' site as their affiliate.
7  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Jake Arrieta Premature Ejaculation Thread on: September 17, 2014, 03:17:51 PM
No. Unless it's Matt Murton, who couldn't run fast enough to splatter on impact, I don't want to see Cubs outfielders splatter on the wall.

 

If splattering outfielders is what you're after, the White Sox are pleased to offer the amazing Adam Eaton for your amusement.  Running into walls in a single, tardy bound!
8  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: How you crappin'? on: September 16, 2014, 02:30:27 PM
the motion sensor toilets at work are way too sensitive. every time I move slightly to wipe my ass it flushes and sprays water everywhere, thus necessitating more wiping, thus more movement, thus more splashing. It's like an involuntary bidet.

Those things just have no dignity.


*flush*
9  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Charles Tillman will knock your balls out for you. on: September 15, 2014, 05:29:17 PM
His season is officially over; placed on IR today.  :(
10  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unreadable on: September 15, 2014, 04:23:34 PM
Why trust fancy stat-loving computers when you can ask paranormal medium Will Leitch to arbitrarily assign win-loss record to teams?  SPORTS!
11  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Bears 2015 Draft Discussion on: September 15, 2014, 03:38:32 PM
Starting to regret my Levi's Stadium ticket purchase for Sunday.  Is there any chance the Bears don't get embarrassed in this game?  1%?

If this is "The Cutler Game" we've all been waiting our entire lives for, they won't get embarrassed.

So...this was not THE Cutler Game but it was certainly A Cutler Game.

Was it the RIGHT Cutler Game?

For that moment, yes.

Pretty sure that THE signature game won't end up with a 5.9 YPA, but considering that "THE CUTLER GAME" for Bears fans and the media to validate him will involve cold weather, taking a big hit or two, and probably beating the Packers, this was a good start.

Does Kaepernick have to deal with the flaming butthurt masses after that performance last night? If not, how come? That dude was a disaster.

Also, Harbaugh electing not to get Kaep on the move on 4th and ballgame was baffling.

Also, fuck the Niners so hard in their entire fucking face.

Not sure about the masses, but if SF's press is anything like Chicago's, I'll bet there were something like 14 columns this morning questioning whether the 49ers can win a Super Bowl with a heavily tattooed quarterback.

I know it specifically focuses on the worst of each fanbase but from the gist of The WYTS: 49ers on Deadspin it sounds like 49ers fans:Alex Smith::Bears meatballs:Kyle Orton.

HE WAS A WINNAR

All the 49ers fans I know vigorously insist that Alex Smith would be leading this team to glory and I heard it multiple times yesterday too.  They all think he got a raw deal and endlessly pine for his return.  It's really weird.
12  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Bears 2015 Draft Discussion on: September 15, 2014, 01:06:09 AM
So that was pretty cool.
13  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Kyle Fuller Will Pick Your Balls Off on: September 15, 2014, 01:05:28 AM
The King is Dead. Long Live the King

Meet the new king, same as the old king. Kyle Fuller was a beast tonight. 90% of the 49ers fans around me were wondering when Devin Hester started playing D again, whether Brian Urlacher was hurt, and if Jared Allen has a brother. Not a very informed bunch.
14  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: September 14, 2014, 08:13:09 AM
Cubs haven't re-upped with Boise, Kane County or Daytona yet.

Local papers in Boise and Daytona don't seem very optimistic about the Cubs being there next season.

Only one of these I care about is Daytona that ballpark has great history and it's a really cool stop if you're traveling to watch Cubs affiliates.  Wonder what the holdup with KC is.

Problem with Daytona is the amount of rainouts/doubleheaders in the FSL the past few years.

Or every year.  It's Florida.
15  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: September 14, 2014, 01:24:43 AM
Cubs haven't re-upped with Boise, Kane County or Daytona yet.

Local papers in Boise and Daytona don't seem very optimistic about the Cubs being there next season.

Only one of these I care about is Daytona — that ballpark has great history and it's a really cool stop if you're traveling to watch Cubs affiliates.  Wonder what the holdup with KC is.
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