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1  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2015: The Back To The Future Season on: April 24, 2015, 01:07:39 PM
Quick note from Joe Sheehan's newsletter, today's topic: the Mets...

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The Mets have used 13 pitchers this season. Just seven of those pitchers have walked more than one batter. I mentioned that the league K/UIBB was 2.9; the Mets' K/UIBB is 4.9. That's not likely to continue, but yes, it would be the best ever by a large margin. (The Cubs, at 5.0, are actually posting a higher figure so far.)
2  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: April 24, 2015, 12:13:43 PM
Realistically, if Almora turns out to be the gold glove wunderkind he supposedly will be, what's the minimum level of offensive competence we're willing to accept? If you say Darwin Barney, the door's over there.

(Although if he could be a little better than 2012 Darwin Barney (2.4 fWAR) every single year, I might take that? Maybe? At least until they trade Vogelbach, Baez and Almora for Trout, obviously.)
3  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2015: The Back To The Future Season on: April 23, 2015, 09:18:06 AM
Holy shit Kris Bryant is starting in CF.

Line-up:
LF Denorfia
1B Rizzo
RF Soler
CF Bryant
SS Castro
C Castillo
2B Russell
P Hendricks
3B Herrera
4  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Starlin Castro Unbridled Manlove with a Side Order of Sploogetasticism Thread on: April 22, 2015, 03:15:32 PM

Bleacher Nation: FYC.
5  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Twatheads Twittering on: April 22, 2015, 03:07:35 PM
Arrieta's been on a Twitter rampage the last few days (@JArrieta34) and he's actually kinda witty.

He's easily one of my favorite Cubs. Thanks, Orioles! And/or thanks, Chris Bosio.
6  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: The only site I'll ever need... on: April 22, 2015, 01:45:28 PM
Not sure where else to put this, but we've ripped folks like this before: Food Blogger Famous for Curing Her Own Cancer Admits She Was Never Sick

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In the interview, Gibson—who’s been known to advocate against conventional medicine and vaccines, and once claimed her health issues were caused by Gardasil—admits “she is passionate about avoiding gluten, dairy and coffee, but doesn’t really understand how cancer works,” Women’s Weekly said in a preview of the piece.

Consumer Affairs Victoria is now investigating the fake cancer survivor for failing to make a promised $227,000 donation to charity from sales of her app. Victoria Police said last week that they wouldn’t charge her with a crime.

In her interview, Gibson gave no explanation for why she perpetrated the hoax, although the Weekly reportedly speculates she suffers from Munchausen syndrome, a condition marked by faking severe illnesses for attention.
7  General Category / Boobtube / Re: Secrets and Lies on: April 22, 2015, 01:03:12 PM
I'm not really surprised, but this is truly terrible. The wife wanted to watch it and I've succumbed to it. (Though, I don't know if that will last long) Basically, it reminds me of season 1 of The Killing where the formula for the episodes was "OMG, this person must have done the killing because x and y that are suspicious. *things happen* OMG, z is the reason x and y looked bad, therefore, this person DID NOT do the killing".

Ryan Phillipe is a stupid character. If he sees one suspicious thing, then "OMG, they killed Tom!"

Juliette Lewis is abso-fucking-lutely terrible and I want her to die everytime I see her stupid fucking face on the screen. Die. Die. Die


I've never watched this show and never will but I support this sentence in any and all circumstances.

Yeah, make that three.

She's the absolute fucking worst. 

Is she just a really bad actor or something?  I'm honestly asking.  This is really weird though:

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Lewis identifies herself as both a Christian and a Scientologist.
8  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread on: April 22, 2015, 12:57:12 PM
No joke, he has the best swing of any Cub since Billy Williams.

OK, calm down.

I'm talking mechanics. I could just as easily called him a right-handed David Justice. But if Bryant wants to put up Billy Williams numbers I'm certainly not going to complain.

Why do you think Bryant's swing mechanics are better than Sosa's? I'm not a swing expert by any stretch, but the rotation and extension Sammy got were amazing. It was basically the classic power hitter swing, steroids be damned.

He was a lot more balls-out with his swing than Bryant, more unleashing of mayhem. Bryant has a much more controlled swing.

The thing that gives me a hard on the most about Bryant's swing is that it's in a Cubs uniform.

I can get all technical about how he has no wasted movements and that his swing takes the bat to a direct path to the ball and that he has quick hands, but I've already splooshed threventeen times this morning watching that inside pitch taken off the RCF wall at PNC.

At the end of the day, if he sticks his bat up his ass and hits home runs by swinging his hips, the results are all that matter.

Just like Billy Williams.

You owe me a new monitor.
9  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread on: April 22, 2015, 09:27:37 AM
Joe West is a fucking piece of shit and Ray Charles is apparently handling replay reviews for MLB tonight. That was horseshit all around.

That's the second night on the spin that the Cubs have been hosed by the video replay retards.  And, as you so astutely point out, Joe West can go and fuck himself.  It's not about you, Joe.

Look, I just watched the replay of the replay on the MLB At Bat app. I really couldn't see anything conclusive that would tell me Bryant was safe. I want to believe that Cervelli whiffed on the tag on the back side of Bryant's legs and Bryant's shin got to the plate, but I really couldn't see if that actually happened.

I think the replay is inconclusive so the initial call has to stand.

I don't care, though. Cubs win.

Not sure what you guys are talking about as I only watch baseball to see my favorite umpires' strike three choreography.
10  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Time to firebarn Brian Schlitter on: April 21, 2015, 10:49:18 PM
Bump. Mother fucker

Fuck this fucking fuck

So we're just supposed to hate on the guy for accepting a contract and chasing his dream of playing in the big leagues?

When he's worse at his job than any of us are at ours? Yes.

Pretty sure Eli is just doing a bit guys. I know that yesterday is hard to remember, but this was a thing.

I wasn't even being remotely subtle.

Well CFIHP not getting it I understand because he comes here to troll and bitch and then buggers back under his bridge, but Fork should have known better

ERA is now 9.64. If I had a job ERA it would at least be below 4.00.

This makes zero sense. Well done.
11  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: The only site I'll ever need... on: April 21, 2015, 08:02:40 PM
DPD.  If Statcast means I can look forward to more "news" alerts to my iPhone like "WATCH: Statcast shows Cardinals OF Jon Jay hitting a max speed of 17 mph en route to a running grab," I'd rather do without.
12  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2015: The Back To The Future Season on: April 21, 2015, 03:32:48 PM
Is there a decent player comp out there that would make me feel better about him?

I'll throw out something like Aaron Rowand. Up to you if that makes you feel better or worse.

80-grade "running into walls" tools don't grow on trees.
13  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Twatheads Twittering on: April 21, 2015, 03:30:54 PM
DPD.  Looks like the great Hank White was placed on the DL to create a spot for Soto:

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However, since he wasn’t on the Cubs 25 man roster on August 31, Soto isn’t eligible for the playoffs, leaving Henry Blanco and his .174 batting average. Blanco has only appeared in four games since being activated August 21. Here’s hoping Jim Hendry can find an injury excuse (Blanco’s neck injury?) that will enable Soto to replace Blanco.

Shortly thereafter Soto was placed on the roster:

Quote
Piniella confirmed following Saturday's 4-0 win here over the Reds that rookie Geovany Soto would be on the playoff roster.

"I don't think he's going to be off the roster," Piniella said.

Based on his play over the last several weeks since his recall from Class AAA Iowa, where he was the Pacific Coast League's MVP, keeping Soto was a no-brainer for the Cubs over the light-hitting Henry Blanco.

And White had no plate appearances in the 2007 postseason so they must have DL'd him.  Missed two months with a herniated disc that season, according to Wikipedia.  Oddly enough I couldn't find any articles saying as much, although I only spent a few seconds and previously switched to DuckDuckGo so I'm sure it's out there if someone wants to find it.

Welp, looks like David Ross is going to be in a very bad car accident in September.

I might actually hate him by then
14  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Twatheads Twittering on: April 21, 2015, 03:21:35 PM
DPD.  Looks like the great Hank White was placed on the DL to create a spot for Soto:

Quote
However, since he wasn’t on the Cubs 25 man roster on August 31, Soto isn’t eligible for the playoffs, leaving Henry Blanco and his .174 batting average. Blanco has only appeared in four games since being activated August 21. Here’s hoping Jim Hendry can find an injury excuse (Blanco’s neck injury?) that will enable Soto to replace Blanco.

Shortly thereafter Soto was placed on the roster:

Quote
Piniella confirmed following Saturday's 4-0 win here over the Reds that rookie Geovany Soto would be on the playoff roster.

"I don't think he's going to be off the roster," Piniella said.

Based on his play over the last several weeks since his recall from Class AAA Iowa, where he was the Pacific Coast League's MVP, keeping Soto was a no-brainer for the Cubs over the light-hitting Henry Blanco.

And White had no plate appearances in the 2007 postseason so they must have DL'd him.  Missed two months with a herniated disc that season, according to Wikipedia.  Oddly enough I couldn't find any articles saying as much, although I only spent a few seconds and previously switched to DuckDuckGo so I'm sure it's out there if someone wants to find it.
15  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Twatheads Twittering on: April 21, 2015, 03:13:51 PM
So that would make tonight's lineup:

Fowler
Soler
Rizzo
Bryant
Castro
Coghlan
Castillo
Wood
Russell

...or, to put it another way, after the first time round:

Russell
Fowler
Soler
Rizzo
Bryant
Castro
Coghlan
Castillo
Wood

Lordy.

EDIT: Or, as it turns out, Denorfia instead of Coghlan.  Whatevs.

I haven't really had a problem with the pitcher hitting 8th, and I understand the logic behind it (with every inning after the first not playing out in general rules).... but I don't love Russell batting 9th. It's not because I don't like the Russell-Fowler-Soler-Rizzo-Bryant-Castro fun, but I don't really like the idea of sacrificing up to 70-80 PAs in a season by hitting Russell 9th. (That estimation came from a link I can't find. I remember reading something recently indicating that each drop in batting order nets a loss of 15-20 PAs over the course of a season)

Yeah if Addison hits 9th the rest of the year he's probably struggling enough that it's the best place for him and hopefully the spot with the least amount of pressure on him. If he hits like his upper projections he won't be hitting 9th for very long.

If that's the case, objection rescinded. SHOW ME, JOE

My prediction for game one of the WS in an American League Ballpark is

CF Fowler
1B Rizzo
RF Soler
LF Bryant
2B Russell
SS Castro
DH Schwarber (Sept. 1st Call up after he tears up AA Tennessee and AAA Iowa following his midseason promotion)
C Montero
3B Javy Baez

Arrieta blanks the vaunted Tigers lineup as David Price gets trounced and realizes he will never beat the Cubs and thus his only option is to join them. Boom.

Schwarber would be ineligible for the postseason roster if he was called up Sept. 1st.  But I like the rest of it.

Huh. Was Soto only allowed on the playoff roster in 2007 because he'd made his debut in 2006 or whatever? Because I thought he was a September callup.

That's a good question, I don't remember how that happened.  Usually a guy has to be on your active roster (the 25-man) before midnight on August 31.  But you get some more leeway for injury replacements.  Maybe that was Soto?  I'll check if someone doesn't chime in.

Edited for face: Had to step away from the computer while this was pending and I saw Fork/Median Desipio Chucklehead suggested injury.
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