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News: Oct 12 - Oral History: Cubs hire Theo  http://www.desipio.com/?p=3639
 
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1  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Let's look forward to the Cardinals Methocalypse on: Today at 08:19:08 AM
If Chuck wants to bitch about Crane Kenney or whomever becuase the Cardinals just signed a 1 billion dollar TV deal and the Cubs have to wait lord knows how long to do the same I'll allow it. Goddammit.

Let's definitely keep giving them free draft picks to help those poor people try to compete. Bless their hearts.
2  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Fuck these goddamn gutless fucking assholes on: July 29, 2015, 11:40:23 PM
I still know enough to know that Jon Lester, is still a worthless asshole. Getting hit hard by the AAA Philadelphia Soup Cans, not what you want out of an "ace."

Definitely.

He will end up with a sub-3.00 ERA. That's ace-like.

Yeah but he pitched bad that one time I wanted him to pitch good therefore he sucks
3  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Reasonable Trade Discussion on: July 29, 2015, 09:21:26 PM
Mets are getting Carlos Gomez for Zack Wheeler and Wilmer Flores.  Bah.

Notsofast... Flores still playing tonight.

Also, Rangers got Hamels, per MLB.

If we can't trust MLB.com push alerts, then who can we trust?
4  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Reasonable Trade Discussion on: July 29, 2015, 08:09:24 PM
Mets are getting Carlos Gomez for Zack Wheeler and Wilmer Flores.  Bah.
5  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Javier Baez 2014 ROY-MVP-World Series MVP Thread on: July 29, 2015, 03:08:02 PM


Would like to reiterate that while I am fine with Russell moving to SS, I am also equally fine with him just being the most dominant defensive second baseman in the majors already and would be cool with them trying to make Javy stick at SS.

I mean Russell's so good he'd probably be a fine defensive SS, but if he's already the best defensive 2B as a rookie is that worth messing with? I feel like sometimes SS is a bit overrated vs second base in terms of that being where your best defender has to play. Maybe ChuckD can show some numbers as to how many runs the best 2B saves each year vs the best SS or whatever.

This. I keep hearing Russell being compared to Barry Larkin, which is fine. But I haven't seen a second baseman like this since Ryno. He's fucking amazing.

Well I mean if shortstops really can be worth that much more than second basemen, I get making the switch if you think Addison can be that good over there, but I kinda feel part of that is just the perception of the position. It's like right vs left tackle in the NFL. Every study ever done shows that there's really no real difference between the two and that both need to be good at pass blocking, but teams still pay way more for "left tackles". I'm wondering if SS vs second base is that much of a gap that it's worth messing with what Addison's got going on over there.

Fucking stop it. Shortstop is a lot more demanding and if the kid has the gun to play the position, you move him. Best 2nd Baseman since Ryno... What in the entire fuck.

If you're confused by this concept, head out to your local dirt lot and have a friend pound grounders to you at both spots and see if even your own beltless ass doesn't get the picture.

I mocked his dumb point last time and I'll do it again. Russell's the best at the 9 spot in the order so let's leave him there! Best since Zambrano!
Kyle Long is the best at right guard so why move him to left tackle? Best since Garza!
[Hypothetical Competent Cubs Reliever] gets a ton of guys out, better leave him where he's at instead of using him in higher leverage situations! Best since Sean Marshall!

I'm not convinced that Javier is unquestionably the superior defender therefore his existence precludes anyone else from playing it. Let's see if Addison is as good as advertised there. What's the harm? And if it gets Starlin Castro's limp-dick bat out of the lineup, all the better.
6  General Category / You know why critics like Elvis Costello? / Re: New Music & Stuff I Recently Acquired on: July 28, 2015, 09:33:03 PM
The new CHVRCHES track is great. I like them.
7  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Reasonable Trade Discussion on: July 28, 2015, 09:29:21 PM

DAMMIT. After hearing so much about him and the Cubs for like a year I'm kinda pissed he has to go make Ned Yost look smart instead.
8  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Emstink Is History: The Chicago Bears and their search for relevance on: July 28, 2015, 09:26:23 PM
I'm free. I'm finally free.

Wish I could say the same for the rest of us. (If you're just gonna softball 'em in like that...)
9  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Pollyellon banned me on: July 28, 2015, 09:19:55 PM
I witnessed one of the best pitching performances in recent history. And it really pissed me off. I wish Bryant would have poked that ball in the seats so Hamels had to stay out there and throw another 10-20 pitches. There was nary a Phillie even stretching in the pen. I wish he would have thrown 160 pitches and then gone to the emergency room for an IV and then visited Dr. Andrews next week.

Fuck him.

This is how I feel. Fuck history.

One of my favorite moments in Wrigley Field was Tarzan Wallis breaking up a Tom Seaver no-hitter in the 9th with a triple, then the Cubs winning it in the 11th. Alvin can eat shit.

We have to include Brett in this too, because he said the same thing.
10  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Reasonable Trade Discussion on: July 27, 2015, 11:44:00 PM
Colorado trades Troy Tulowitzki to Toronto. Thanks, Rockies, for your help with this series.
11  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread on: July 27, 2015, 10:49:01 PM
BOOM
12  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Fuck these goddamn gutless fucking assholes on: July 27, 2015, 12:56:35 AM
Lemme just get all of these dark evil things off of my chest at once and then we can forget I ever said them once all of these guys are awesome again

Hey Dexter Fowler,  who taught you how to run the bases? Ron Santo would get thrown out less, post amputations, than you.

Oh look, I'm Starlin Castro. I just up and stopped being good at anything and unlike Lou Gehrig I don't have the decency to blame it on a disease and allow the team to get outta my contract.

Look at Kris Bryant over here, who'd have thunk major league pitchers would throw changeups sometimes am I right, pal? I'm as shocked as you are every fucking time.

How about your buddy Tony? Guy's been hitting like the Don of the rival family is gonna off his mama and her spicy meatballs recipe if he gets a fucking extra base hit.

Jorge Soler was supposed to be Vlad Guerrero but I'm not sure he'd strike out less than Vlad Lenin if you propped that fucker's embalmed corpse at the plate four times a day.

Chris Coghlan still sucks at defense and I think he's a prick. Fuck your numbers, Yeti.

Rafael Soriano throws a fastball that I can only describe as sad. Like the ball itself feels fucking shame at being a part of it.

I wish Jason Motte was Dominican so the meatball narrative would be that he's too fucking lazy to learn how to throw a slider. Also I'm almost glad he shit the fucking tub Friday so I could stop pretending I don't hate the fact that he dug Scott Spiezio's pubes out of a trash can and glued them to his face.

Speaking of sliders, still fucking pissed the one time that Pedro Strop didn't throw four in a row in the dirt was the one time it might have won them a series against the Cardinals.

And lastly, you people. You spent months trying to deny the God given ANGER in your own hearts and look where it got you. Who's the twat now, huh?  Who's the twat now?






I know, it's still me. But fuck these goddamn gutless fucking assholes.

1. Are you here all week?
2. How's the veal?
3. Should I or should I not tip my waitress?

Please advise.

I am so now hoping Cutler's first three throws of the season are picks.

If I still cared about the NFL I would want a high enough draft pick to take a young quarterback, so I'm all for the Bears being awful.  Consecutive picks sound promising.  But that's not why you called.
13  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: I admit it... on: July 26, 2015, 05:58:54 PM
I'm okay if the Cubs don't make a deal.

I'd be okay with sending certain guys down to get back on track at the plate. Russell, his home run notwithstanding, is at the top of the list. I can't see how this is helping him. The Rizzo Plan, HIS struggles notwithstanding, might help him.

Once Baez is ready I'd swap him and Russell.
14  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: I admit it... on: July 26, 2015, 05:54:04 PM
I'm okay if the Cubs don't make a deal.

I'd be OK if they "sold." Not sure what saleable pieces they have... maybe Coghlan, Denorfia, Fowler, Hammel, Motte, Rondon, James Russell. This team's not ready.

That didn't take long.
15  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Fuck these goddamn gutless fucking assholes on: July 26, 2015, 05:53:24 PM
Lemme just get all of these dark evil things off of my chest at once and then we can forget I ever said them once all of these guys are awesome again

Hey Dexter Fowler,  who taught you how to run the bases? Ron Santo would get thrown out less, post amputations, than you.

Oh look, I'm Starlin Castro. I just up and stopped being good at anything and unlike Lou Gehrig I don't have the decency to blame it on a disease and allow the team to get outta my contract.

Look at Kris Bryant over here, who'd have thunk major league pitchers would throw changeups sometimes am I right, pal? I'm as shocked as you are every fucking time.

How about your buddy Tony? Guy's been hitting like the Don of the rival family is gonna off his mama and her spicy meatballs recipe if he gets a fucking extra base hit.

Jorge Soler was supposed to be Vlad Guerrero but I'm not sure he'd strike out less than Vlad Lenin if you propped that fucker's embalmed corpse at the plate four times a day.

Chris Coghlan still sucks at defense and I think he's a prick. Fuck your numbers, Yeti.

Rafael Soriano throws a fastball that I can only describe as sad. Like the ball itself feels fucking shame at being a part of it.

I wish Jason Motte was Dominican so the meatball narrative would be that he's too fucking lazy to learn how to throw a slider. Also I'm almost glad he shit the fucking tub Friday so I could stop pretending I don't hate the fact that he dug Scott Spiezio's pubes out of a trash can and glued them to his face.

Speaking of sliders, still fucking pissed the one time that Pedro Strop didn't throw four in a row in the dirt was the one time it might have won them a series against the Cardinals.

And lastly, you people. You spent months trying to deny the God given ANGER in your own hearts and look where it got you. Who's the twat now, huh?  Who's the twat now?






I know, it's still me. But fuck these goddamn gutless fucking assholes.

1. Are you here all week?
2. How's the veal?
3. Should I or should I not tip my waitress?

Please advise.
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