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News: Oct 12 - Oral History: Cubs hire Theo  http://www.desipio.com/?p=3639
 
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1  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Jorge Soler Zero Percent Financing Thud On The Shower Door SPLOOGE Fest on: August 29, 2014, 10:50:23 PM
It'd probably be cheaper to just get a washable plastic shower liner, guys.

I assume you meant to direct this dead body disposal advice to Huey?
2  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Pollyellon banned me on: August 26, 2014, 01:40:40 PM
I try to not waste too much energy on the dumb opinions of Al, but it's really something else for him to instruct people on how to FEEL about something. It's just sports, guy. If you're not going to get irrationally excited sometimes, what the hell is the point?

Quote
Just donít expect me to get all hyperventilated until there is actual success at the MLB level.

Quote
I'll have fun when there's a reason to have fun.

I have a hard time reconciling these statements with the fact that they're coming from a guy who's been sitting in the fucking bleachers for nearly every home game the Cubs have played for the last what, 3 decades?

I read his words in a Seymour Skinner voice

Which Seymour Skinner?
3  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Pollyellon banned me on: August 26, 2014, 11:10:50 AM
I try to not waste too much energy on the dumb opinions of Al, but it's really something else for him to instruct people on how to FEEL about something. It's just sports, guy. If you're not going to get irrationally excited sometimes, what the hell is the point?

Quote
Just donít expect me to get all hyperventilated until there is actual success at the MLB level.

Quote
I'll have fun when there's a reason to have fun.

I have a hard time reconciling these statements with the fact that they're coming from a guy who's been sitting in the fucking bleachers for nearly every home game the Cubs have played for the last what, 3 decades?
4  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Javier Baez 2014 ROY-MVP-World Series MVP Thread on: August 21, 2014, 12:05:06 PM
Glaus hit 34 in 1997 when the HR/G rate was ~.96.

Bryant hit 31 in 2013 when the HR/G rate was ~.42.

Either Bryant would've hit 71 dongs in 1997, Glaus would've hit 15 dongs in 2013, or math is a lie.

MORE HANDSOME BABE RUTH

I'm gonna go with that third thing and just throw "math" in the bin with "science".
5  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Javier Baez 2014 ROY-MVP-World Series MVP Thread on: August 20, 2014, 09:08:05 PM
This is really entertaining. But wrong thread.

Oh right. This is the Javy Baez thread. I'd say he could be a HOF 2B in the mold of Robbie Alomar but Pen doesn't want him spitting on umpires.

I'll take Alomar.

We can agree on this.

I actually think your Soriano comp isn't terrible here. 

In that case I look forward to the Cubs trading him for a generational talent who keeps portraits of himself as a centaur in his home.
6  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unlistenable on: August 15, 2014, 10:01:08 PM
I went to the Bears game last night and noticed the game operations people came up with this unnerving sound bite that played whenever the Bears got a first down. There's a drumbeat and then a bunch of Grabowskis yell, "Bear Down!" while a cheap looking blue graphic shows up on the big board. I think they want us to automatically yell, "Bear Down" and then shut the fuck up whenever the offense is moving. Anyway, it looks and sounds horrible and no I don't think I will.

My hope is that they're just trying this out in the preseason and will trash it if it doesn't work. I hate that they actually had to come up with a gimmick to get Bears fans to shut the fuck up when the offense is moving and that the one they thought of was executed this poorly. It looked and felt very small market to me.

The fireworks when the run out are worse than what the Chicago Wolves do.

The announcer goes "There's a time out...." Fans reply, "Where?" Announcer: "On the field!"  Fans, "Oh..." is also insanely stupid.

Watching the Bears in person feels very minor league.

It's a lot of the same nonsense in Indy and Cincinnati, the only other NFL cities I've experienced. I don't know if it's an NFL thing or just midwest. But I think they want you to feel like you're at a high school game and a part of something local and intimate, which is strange because the NFL is anything but that.

And I may be mistaken but I feel like they didn't do, "There's a timeout..." last year and might have brought it back. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

You're wrong.  They did it last year at the Bears-Vikings game and a week ago at Bears-Eagles.  Every game that I can remember.

Chuck's correct. They've done it at both stadiums since like forever.

Motherfuckers.

They've done it at every Bears game I've been to. Pre and post stadium renovation. I asked my season ticket holding friends that sometimes take me when nobody else wants to go and they said they've done it as long as they can remember, and they inherited the seats from her parents.

I think it's really stupid, but not "Go Cubs Go" stupid.

Even stupider: Kane County plays "Go Cubs Go" after their wins.

Lucky for you that you don't have to hear it very often.

78-45 this year, good sir.
7  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unlistenable on: August 15, 2014, 01:51:22 PM
I went to the Bears game last night and noticed the game operations people came up with this unnerving sound bite that played whenever the Bears got a first down. There's a drumbeat and then a bunch of Grabowskis yell, "Bear Down!" while a cheap looking blue graphic shows up on the big board. I think they want us to automatically yell, "Bear Down" and then shut the fuck up whenever the offense is moving. Anyway, it looks and sounds horrible and no I don't think I will.

My hope is that they're just trying this out in the preseason and will trash it if it doesn't work. I hate that they actually had to come up with a gimmick to get Bears fans to shut the fuck up when the offense is moving and that the one they thought of was executed this poorly. It looked and felt very small market to me.

The fireworks when the run out are worse than what the Chicago Wolves do.

The announcer goes "There's a time out...." Fans reply, "Where?" Announcer: "On the field!"  Fans, "Oh..." is also insanely stupid.

Watching the Bears in person feels very minor league.

It's a lot of the same nonsense in Indy and Cincinnati, the only other NFL cities I've experienced. I don't know if it's an NFL thing or just midwest. But I think they want you to feel like you're at a high school game and a part of something local and intimate, which is strange because the NFL is anything but that.

And I may be mistaken but I feel like they didn't do, "There's a timeout..." last year and might have brought it back. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

You're wrong.  They did it last year at the Bears-Vikings game and a week ago at Bears-Eagles.  Every game that I can remember.

Chuck's correct. They've done it at both stadiums since like forever.

Motherfuckers.

They've done it at every Bears game I've been to. Pre and post stadium renovation. I asked my season ticket holding friends that sometimes take me when nobody else wants to go and they said they've done it as long as they can remember, and they inherited the seats from her parents.

I think it's really stupid, but not "Go Cubs Go" stupid.

Even stupider: Kane County plays "Go Cubs Go" after their wins.
8  General Category / The Old Feedbag / Re: Bar-b-Q? on: August 15, 2014, 12:20:43 PM
Shocked to find that this thread has been dormant for this long.

Anyway, for you Loop persons, Blackwood BBQ at 307 W. Lake is very good.  I've been going for breakfast - the breakfast bowl consists of eggs, potatoes and your choice of pulled pork or brisket and whatever sauce you want.  The meat is damn good a pretty good value at $4.00 since it's filling enough for me to split in half and have for breakfast and lunch (note: Yeti's mileage may vary).

Haven't been there for lunch, but as it's the same meat in sandwich form, I'm going to assume it's good.

http://blackwoodbbq.com/



9  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Jake Arrieta Premature Ejaculation Thread on: August 07, 2014, 11:07:43 AM
Freakin' Coors Field.

Eh, Jake was due for a shitter.  Dude had been pitching out of his mind.  By the time he reached the inning in which he gave up 7 hits and was pulled--the 6th, I think--his season ERA had worked its way down to 2.05.

Now that he's got that out of the way, expect him to drink the blood of Milwaukee's non-believers next week, or something.

Cubs fans like this guy are why I think I hate Cubs fans most of all...

https://twitter.com/paul1994loan/status/497212840860590080

Quote from: @paul1994loan
Quote from: @BleacherNation
Arrieta's ERA for the game was 16.20. His xFIP was 3.54.

@BleacherNation why did renteria let him get drilled so badly is my q

https://twitter.com/paul1994loan/status/497208726319689728

Quote from: @paul1994loan
@Cubs_Chick mgr is an idiot tonight
lets hope doesnt crush jakes psychi

I feel like meatball sports fans who sputter stupid shit about DESE BUMS WHO'S CELERIES I PAY can be found in every fan base.

But these middle-aged suburban dad milquetoasts, who treat the major leagues like it's tee-ball and spend their days fretting about players' fee-fees and rooting for the undersized kid on the field to just have a fun time out there, seem like Cubs fandom's own very special breed of irritating.

HEY!
10  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: August 05, 2014, 11:27:49 AM
Huey is not a meatball and is very comfortable with the mental image of me riding Edwin Jackson's meathammer.

It beats the mental image of you riding my proverbial ballsack, considering nearly 1-in-3 of your posts here are geared toward trolling/stick-poking me.

Sounds like someone's un-friending finger is getting itchy.

Itchy's a jerk.
11  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: August 04, 2014, 03:25:38 PM
Here's a teaser for volume 1 issue 1's feature story:

Quote
All of (or most of - maybe some of) us know that Arkham's razor tells us about how prospects don't pan out because computers can't play baseball (they don't have arms or legs)...but what you may not have known is that there is a prospector who did pan out - for gold!



I think, and maybe this is just a guess, RV did that deliberately.

Really disappointed in you Thrill :(

Maybe you are ALL disappointed in me!



The FUTUREBONER thread has reached a new low.
12  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2014 Chicago Cubs: Let's Go 2015 Cubs! on: August 04, 2014, 09:52:08 AM
Starting to get the feeling this is the last Cubs season for a while where the win/loss at the end of each game means almost nothing. Yes, I realize losing is important for draft pick purposes and I'm sure they'll end up near the top of the draft again. Seems unavoidable. Not something I have to worry about as a fan.

If Soler and Baez are permanent fixtures next season and at least one top of the line starting pitcher comes in via FA, you can't tell me that even with people all saying "next year they'll be better but in 2016 they're going to be really good" are going to be able to help themselves. I think with those additions and the looming spectre of Kris Bryant's arrival fans are going to ready to go from day one. If the Cubs get off to a bad start people will be climbing over themselves to scream Fire Renteria because let's face it - Renteria managing games that matter is a terrifying proposition based on what we've seen.

So let's enjoy this stress free remainder of the season because I'm fairly certain this is it.

Welcome back, painful baseball.

Oh no doubt. And I don't think Bryant waits that long. I doubt they'll worry about Super 2 so I think he just needs to wait till May at the latest to get the extra year. So if you've got Baez, Soler, Bryant, and Mendy with Russell definitely lurking for a midseason callup, and some extra help in the rotation, you'd definitely think that team can win 78-85 games potentially, and with the Selig Card that'll be enough to keep them close enough to contending that we'll all be suckered in.

Would this be the right place for me to make my wild assed prediction that Baez, Bryant and Soler all get called up Sept. 1st? And that Theo lets it be known that they don't give a shit about Super 2 or arbitration status for those guys because they've got a ton of payroll flexibility and they're going to start using it? And that they intend for all 3 of them to be on the big league team to start next season?

Even if that wouldn't be the optimal decision in terms of asset management I think it would send a nice message to potential FAs (hi Jon Lester!) that they're done fucking around.

I think you just melted Gordon Wittenmyer's head.
13  General Category / Boobtube / Re: The Leftovers on: August 01, 2014, 09:01:53 PM
the AV Club reviews for this show are fucking PAINFUL.

http://www.avclub.com/tvclub/leftovers-gladys-207405

Yeah, at this point the AV Club is basically a cult of reviewers that worship Roger Ebert but can't write to save their lives.
14  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: July 29, 2014, 01:20:35 PM
Yeah, but they lost Oneri Fleita.
15  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: July 28, 2014, 03:08:24 PM
In Houston, the butthurt is palpable.

http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/eye-on-baseball/24639104/report-some-astros-players-upset-over-mark-appel-promotion-bullpen

Seriously, how is this story not about the Cubs? That's what a failing rebuild looks and sounds like. Complete opposite of what we have here.

When I clicked the link I assumed that for some reason the Astros had promoted Appel to big club.  What the fuck do players on the major league roster care about a guy being bumped from A to AA?
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