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News: Oct 12 - Oral History: Cubs hire Theo  http://www.desipio.com/?p=3639
 
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1  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs Offseason 2014: So, what did your team do this offseason? Isn't that cute. on: December 17, 2014, 01:58:09 PM
I'm going to guess that I was in attendance for both of Sosa's--except I don't know if either of these were with 2 outs:  He ended an 0-19 streak by going yard off Paul Wilson in late April 1996 (after Dallas Green chose to intentionally walk Mark Grace in front of him) and went yard off of Tim or Todd Worrell of LAD in extra innings  of a Sunday night in an otherwise miserable 1997 campaign.  The funny thing was I nearly got into a fight with a group of people in the RF bleachers precisely because I had been ripping Sosa all game and they didn't like it.  Joke was on those asshats, though, because they left the park before Sosa would've given them a  grand FYC chance at me.

I also would've been in attendance for one of Dunston's--off of ex-Cub Heath Slocumb in the Summer 1995--I remember this because it was the first time I had ever seen a  lead-changing walk-off home run.  I was with my 2 older brothers and my dad and we were just a little behind home plate. I had commented to my brother, before the 9th inning began, of a funny fact I had heard on the broadcast of the day before--that Phillies 3rd baseman Charlie Hayes had apparently not yet made a fielding error all year.  Sure enough, after Brian McRae (I think) got on base with an HBP in 9th, the next hitter hit a roller that Hayes fumbled.  My brother and I just looked at each other.   Then Dunston took Slocumb deep (on the first pitch, if I remember correctly) in left field and a raucous celebration was had by all.

I do not recall the *other* time Dunston did this though.

Nah, I think maybe I just have an unhealthy aversion to nostalgia.

My unconscious ability to connect many events (many sports-related) to particular dates in time is not the same as nostalgia.  Trust me, as a Cubs fan, there is much I would prefer not to remember.

Is there any way you can monetize this skill? Your recall ability is fucking amazing and freaks me out.

I guess I should add that Sosa hit another walk off homer two days after his bomb off Paul Wilson.  So he bookended a victorious weekend series win over the Mets with walkoff home runs in the first and third games.  I want to say the Sunday walkoff which won the series broke a window in the first-floor unit of the building on Waveland as Sammy's shot went through it on a fly.

And I do remember Dunston's *other* walkoff in 1990 now.  I had no recollection that it was against San Diego and Craig Lefferts but recall watching it at my cousin's kid's baptism in Franklin Park.  Pretty sure the Cubs lost the nightcap that day.

If you were anyone else, I'd be certain you were fucking with us.
2  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs Offseason 2014: So, what did your team do this offseason? Isn't that cute. on: December 17, 2014, 12:25:40 PM
I'm going to guess that I was in attendance for both of Sosa's--except I don't know if either of these were with 2 outs:  He ended an 0-19 streak by going yard off Paul Wilson in late April 1996 (after Dallas Green chose to intentionally walk Mark Grace in front of him) and went yard off of Tim or Todd Worrell of LAD in extra innings  of a Sunday night in an otherwise miserable 1997 campaign.  The funny thing was I nearly got into a fight with a group of people in the RF bleachers precisely because I had been ripping Sosa all game and they didn't like it.  Joke was on those asshats, though, because they left the park before Sosa would've given them a  grand FYC chance at me.

I also would've been in attendance for one of Dunston's--off of ex-Cub Heath Slocumb in the Summer 1995--I remember this because it was the first time I had ever seen a  lead-changing walk-off home run.  I was with my 2 older brothers and my dad and we were just a little behind home plate. I had commented to my brother, before the 9th inning began, of a funny fact I had heard on the broadcast of the day before--that Phillies 3rd baseman Charlie Hayes had apparently not yet made a fielding error all year.  Sure enough, after Brian McRae (I think) got on base with an HBP in 9th, the next hitter hit a roller that Hayes fumbled.  My brother and I just looked at each other.   Then Dunston took Slocumb deep (on the first pitch, if I remember correctly) in left field and a raucous celebration was had by all.

I do not recall the *other* time Dunston did this though.

Nah, I think maybe I just have an unhealthy aversion to nostalgia.

My unconscious ability to connect many events (many sports-related) to particular dates in time is not the same as nostalgia.  Trust me, as a Cubs fan, there is much I would prefer not to remember.

I just want to take this opportunity to point out that Huey is definitely NOT a meatball.
3  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs Offseason 2014: So, what did your team do this offseason? Isn't that cute. on: December 17, 2014, 09:53:37 AM
I heard they want Dexter Fowler or some kind of left handed hitting OF.

Probably won't be anyone that'll blow us away - something in line with the OF signings they made early in Theo's tenure. Which is fine.

Something I keep having to remind myself of is that Maddon has been known to use players creatively, at least that's what the narrative seems to be. I'm excited to see how he handles a pen, makes out a lineup, and uses the bench. It's going to be fun.

He's going to draw caricatures of all the players in the lineup directly onto the bench - with a pen - so they know exactly where to sit, when to hit etc.

At least that's the narrative. 

All the caricatures will show the players as their best selves and they will be very physically attractive with great smiles. It will be great for self-esteem and, subsequently, winning.

That's a terrible plan, caricatures by definition make the subject look ridiculous.
4  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Butthurt on: December 16, 2014, 05:20:37 PM
Wait until they finish third. I'll almost notice the butthurt in the midst of the 96 wins the Cubs accrue.

Hat tip to Slaky for this one:

5  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Bears 2015 Draft Discussion on: December 16, 2014, 11:15:10 AM
I have no hope for this franchise unless and until they clean house from Phillips on down, bring in a goddamn football executive to be the President and start acting like a real goodamn football franchise for once in our goddamn lives (save for a Jim Finks less-than-a-decade *blip*).  Christ, this team has won exactly TWO NFL Championships since 1946.  The fucking Lions and Browns have each won more in this time and we've spent so much time endlessly ripping on those tard franchises.  Rightfully so, but when you stop and consider what little this franchise has done, well fuck all.

For the Blackhawks, Bill Wirtz had to die.  For the Cubs, the team needed to be sold.  There are too many McCaskeys where any one death would precede the necessary sea change, and they're sure as fuck not going to sell the team, so the only hope is that these weirdos that are already there wake the fuck up, hit the goddamn reset button and start this thing over from the top down.  These people are smart, right?  They all went to college, right?  Come on assholes.

I keep seeing people say "the McCaskeys will never sell".  Do you think that's really the case?  I know there's been references to the family holding on to the team after Virginia's death, but I wonder how realistic that is.  It seems like there are quite a few McCaskeys who really won't reap any benefit to their team ownership unless they sell their shares.

True....it's probably not much of a revenue-generator (though it has served as a reliable safety net for nepotistic employment) and if they sold it they would get quite a bit of liquid--even after taxes.  The problem is there's like 500 of these teat-suckers so who knows if a sale would still set them up, generationally.

It will depend on if they are allowed to sell their shares individually.  I was picturing a scenario where the shares were divided equally among VM's kids (I think there are 11) each having control over their portion. My guess is that Pat Ryan would be willing to buy the shares off anyone who was willing to sell, and that the remaining members of the family wouldn't have wherewithal to match an offer.
6  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Bears 2015 Draft Discussion on: December 16, 2014, 11:01:34 AM
I have no hope for this franchise unless and until they clean house from Phillips on down, bring in a goddamn football executive to be the President and start acting like a real goodamn football franchise for once in our goddamn lives (save for a Jim Finks less-than-a-decade *blip*).  Christ, this team has won exactly TWO NFL Championships since 1946.  The fucking Lions and Browns have each won more in this time and we've spent so much time endlessly ripping on those tard franchises.  Rightfully so, but when you stop and consider what little this franchise has done, well fuck all.

For the Blackhawks, Bill Wirtz had to die.  For the Cubs, the team needed to be sold.  There are too many McCaskeys where any one death would precede the necessary sea change, and they're sure as fuck not going to sell the team, so the only hope is that these weirdos that are already there wake the fuck up, hit the goddamn reset button and start this thing over from the top down.  These people are smart, right?  They all went to college, right?  Come on assholes.

I keep seeing people say "the McCaskeys will never sell".  Do you think that's really the case?  I know there's been references to the family holding on to the team after Virginia's death, but I wonder how realistic that is.  It seems like there are quite a few McCaskeys who really won't reap any benefit to their team ownership unless they sell their shares.
7  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unreadable on: December 12, 2014, 01:14:53 PM
Yeah, thinking it over I think this article is the result of a bad writer trying to make what he thinks is satire, which in the modern Internet usage means "fake opinions delivered so seriously and humorlessly that you can't tell if the writer means it or not."

Also, we're pretty much reached the point on the internet where no fake opinion is insane enough that you can assume its satire.
8  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unreadable on: December 12, 2014, 11:38:21 AM

Too late. I need answers. I've tweeted at the author. I plan to destroy him before the end of the workday.

As somebody who has spent some time involved with the various followers of the local ice hockey collective, I can asure you this type of thinking will only propogate. Dumbasses will howl at "bandwagon fans", as if there is some badge of honor that comes with having spent more time watching professional athletes earn their living that others. They will complain about the rising cost of ticket prices and beer prices, ignorant of the fact that you need to spend money to make money, and where is that revenue coming from? Todd's only making so much at Portillo's.

If he really wants a laid-back day at the ballpark without any emotional investment, he should go to Kane County. They're not a Cubs farm team any more, and the BBQ pork chop sandwich is still exceptional.


I'm not even sure that's his point. It seems like he enjoyed having a couple of years with no expectations for the Cubs and following the guys in the minors.  I believe this may be satire. I'm not entirely sure though.

9  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Pollyellon banned me on: December 12, 2014, 10:04:45 AM
7,000 people have written about Back to the Future II in the last two days.

How ironic!



God dammit Tank.
10  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Single Greatest Thread Ever on: December 12, 2014, 10:03:09 AM
Rock Shoulders (sorry, Fork), Luis Flores and Andrew McKirahan.

Oh, and Tyler Featherston (and his ridiculously hot girlfriend) for a beautiful 5 minutes.  

WE LOST ROCK SHOULDERS???

So the way this works is that the Cubs acquire a player for the purpose of selling him to another team?  

So that he can become a drug addict who has a couple good years before fleecing the Angels, yes.

Seems a little underselling for a player who won an MVP and averaged about 4.5 WAR during a five-year span.

You're right. You could tell he was great from the CRACK of his bat.

He coulda been a HERO IN the 2011 World Series

(Sorry, Eli)

He never let his personal problems affect him between the LINES.

He abused drugs.

He voted for Hubert Humphrey and he killed Jesus.

He doesn't signal his lane changes.

He pays with checks at the grocery store and doesn't start filling any of it out until the cashier finishes ringing him up.  That cashier? Mike Fontenot.

He's more of a Beverly Hills Cop III man, himself.

He doesn't undrstand the Dempster hate.

He shares shit on Facebook, like, nineteen times a day.

He doesn't pay the fuck attention.

He's a millionaire baseball player who overcame drug addiction to remain a millionaire baseball player.
11  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Single Greatest Thread Ever on: December 05, 2014, 08:35:31 PM
Hoyer confirms everything we surmised and rubs some balm on Huey's PANKRAGE - it appears that Dempster will never be back at Wrigley Field as a Cub as long as Jed and Theo are in charge.

NOT SO FAST.

Quote
Ryan Dempster is retiring and joining #Cubs front office as a special assistant.

I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that he is never going away.









*guffaws*

*snorts*

*pounds fist on table*
12  General Category / The Dead Pool / Re: Game of Death 2014 on: December 04, 2014, 02:35:14 PM
Based on my record in this thing, please feel free to offer me money to be on my Deadpool list for 2015.
13  General Category / The Old Feedbag / Re: Beer on: December 03, 2014, 10:01:10 AM
What are some good beers people have been drinking lately? I've been drinking high life for the most part.

Been drinking Wake Up Dead Nitro and Ten Fidy at home since winter set in.

Also went to the Lagunitas tap room this weekend and had a flight of NightTime, Maximus, Lagunitas Sucks and Imperial Stout. Those were good.

I drink tons of Lagunitas Sucks.  

It's definitely a weekly purchase.

The other stuff I drink is mostly not available in Chicago, so I won't bore you.
If I lived there I'd probably just drink Zombie Dust until I was homeless.

My most recent purchases have included Ten Fidy and the always good Left Hand Milk Stout Nitro.  Also I've always liked New Holland's The Poet but I don't know if it's ever been mentioned here.

Finally, thanks to Pen for pointing out that he's such a Big Wheel down at the Beer Drinking Factory that he likes stuff you guys have probably never heard of.

It's just not available in Chicago, IDITO.

Also, I made it quite clear that you have a beer that I would drink and spend myself homeless for.

But fine, I have been drinking lots of:
Ballast Point Sculpin
Ballast Point Victory at Sea
Lagunitas Sucks
Firestone Velvet Merlin
Firestone Union Jack
Sierra Nevada Celebration
Duchesse De Bourgogne


Those the most.  You may be able to get Firestone there. Quite likely, actually.
Definitely Celebration. 
Probably Duchesse.

I'm sure there are others, but those are the ones that are top of mind.


You can definitely get Firestone's offerings in Chicago - Velvet Merlin is now back in season and is terrific.

14  General Category / The Old Feedbag / Re: Beer on: December 02, 2014, 04:42:14 PM
What are some good beers people have been drinking lately? I've been drinking high life for the most part.

Been drinking Wake Up Dead Nitro and Ten Fidy at home since winter set in.

Also went to the Lagunitas tap room this weekend and had a flight of NightTime, Maximus, Lagunitas Sucks and Imperial Stout. Those were good.

I drink tons of Lagunitas Sucks.  

It's definitely a weekly purchase.

The other stuff I drink is mostly not available in Chicago, so I won't bore you.
If I lived there I'd probably just drink Zombie Dust until I was homeless.

My most recent purchases have included Ten Fidy and the always good Left Hand Milk Stout Nitro.  Also I've always liked New Holland's The Poet but I don't know if it's ever been mentioned here.

Finally, thanks to Pen for pointing out that he's such a Big Wheel down at the Beer Drinking Factory that he likes stuff you guys have probably never heard of.
15  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: NCAA/B1G Football on: December 01, 2014, 02:44:24 PM
DPD. A fitting end to a trash season. And hopefully this means Beckman stays!

Northwestern just sucks.
Don't get me started on Michigan.

Plenty of room on this Illinois bandwagon, I just got a seat.
(bandwagon promptly plunges over cliff)

Okay, how about the Golden Gophers?
(Jerry Kill has seizure while driving bandwagon which promptly plunges over cliff)

Christ, the Big Ten is just the worst.


Indiana and Purdue were so awful yesterday that they gave the Old Oaken Bucket to Balls Tate.

As in, Xander Diamont's postgame remarks: "Apex, how do my balls tate?"



Yes, they're both shitty, and if Xander Diamont is not punchable there, I'm not sure what is. But, oh the butthurt in Tippecanoe County!

I yield. And that is an awful lot of hubris on display from a QB who just slayed a 3-9 football team.

I assume that hubris is the Greek word for eyebrows.
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