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1  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unreadable on: September 22, 2014, 02:45:00 PM
Some day Skip Bayless will die and he will have accomplished nothing in life and no one will care that he's dead. 

But he'll have lived in luxury financed by our cable TV fees even if we don't give him the time of day.  He who dies with the most toys wins.

For lots of people, yes. 

But not for Skip.

He's a guy who has built his entire career on "shock and awe" and there's nothing we can do better than to not give a shit. 

I'm doing my part.

You should start a Skip Bayless blog and then not blog on it. That'd really burn him, just sittin' there every day, wonderin' when you'll post next.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't periodically checking "Pomp Culture" for updates.
2  General Category / Boobtube / Re: Justified on: September 19, 2014, 08:11:04 PM
Well, this seems promising:

http://uproxx.com/tv/2014/09/sam-elliott-and-garret-dillahunt-are-coming-to-the-final-season-of-justified/
3  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2014 General NFL Thread on: September 19, 2014, 01:27:09 PM
I mean, there are people all over Twitter saying that Devin Hester shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame.

Go fight them ALL.

Devin is a hall of famer but I'm pretty pissed at him for throwing the entire Bears organization and Jay under the bus for him failing to be an offensive weapon in Chicago when they spent 5 years trying to make that happen against the better judgment of everyone but Apex.

Buttpuddle Vindication'd.

1074 yards, 10 TDs. NEVER FORGET

Hey, I might finally be right.

Also, I'm done congratulating Brandon Marshall for not hitting women anymore. He has to own his past and it seams like he is. But from what I've heard from professionals about Borderline Personality Disorder, the chance for a relapse is always eminent. Right now, while he's rich and famous, in the public eye with millions of people paying attention to him, he might have found certain outlets for his energy that keep him in good mental shape. My worry is that when his career is in decline or over, will the anger and frustration build up and cause him to do something terrible.

Should I disown him as a fan for something he hasn't done yet? Of course not. But I've doled out my last HJ for how well he's cleaned himself up and not hit any women lately.

My mother specializes in Borderline Personality Disorder. She's written books on it. It's not about relapse. It doesn't "go away."  But, it doesn't mean that he's going to start hitting women again either. It's treatable, like most other things.  It certainly heightens during times of greatest stress and trauma, but (and I think Marshall is acutely aware of this) it's always there, just a question of how well you can manage it and/or the quality of the treatment you're receiving.

I appreciate that info. I really do hope he keeps it together. But of course that goes for anybody, not just players on my favorite team. I'm not sick of Brandon or anything, but I'm avoiding that press conference like the plague.

That's best. Whether you like Brandon or not that thing was ill-advised and just plain awkward at best.
The only thing that I got out of that press conference is that it wasn't scripted. 

Sounds like he should have sprung for some improv classes.
4  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Jake Arrieta Premature Ejaculation Thread on: September 17, 2014, 03:55:07 PM
No. Unless it's Matt Murton, who couldn't run fast enough to splatter on impact, I don't want to see Cubs outfielders splatter on the wall.

 

If splattering outfielders is what you're after, the White Sox are pleased to offer the amazing Adam Eaton for your amusement.  Running into walls in a single, tardy bound!

I'm totally on board with that.

I hate Adam Eaton and wish ill upon him

He's a modern day Aaron Rowand.
5  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Bears 2015 Draft Discussion on: September 15, 2014, 03:30:44 PM
Starting to regret my Levi's Stadium ticket purchase for Sunday.  Is there any chance the Bears don't get embarrassed in this game?  1%?

If this is "The Cutler Game" we've all been waiting our entire lives for, they won't get embarrassed.

So...this was not THE Cutler Game but it was certainly A Cutler Game.

Was it the RIGHT Cutler Game?

For that moment, yes.

Pretty sure that THE signature game won't end up with a 5.9 YPA, but considering that "THE CUTLER GAME" for Bears fans and the media to validate him will involve cold weather, taking a big hit or two, and probably beating the Packers, this was a good start.

Does Kaepernick have to deal with the flaming butthurt masses after that performance last night? If not, how come? That dude was a disaster.

Also, Harbaugh electing not to get Kaep on the move on 4th and ballgame was baffling.

Also, fuck the Niners so hard in their entire fucking face.

Not sure about the masses, but if SF's press is anything like Chicago's, I'll bet there were something like 14 columns this morning questioning whether the 49ers can win a Super Bowl with a heavily tattooed quarterback.
6  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Bears 2015 Draft Discussion on: September 13, 2014, 07:24:34 AM

That entire article has one quote from Cutler, which is him taking responsibility.

I pointed that out the other day. If Cutler was the team cancer and excuse maker everyone has made him out to be you'd think it wouldn't be that difficult to find one damn example of him throwing someone under the bus.

The article is all kinds of bizarre. Then I started reading the comments and several of them were logical and well thought out. What a time to be alive.
7  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Morning in America: Butthurt Achieved on: September 12, 2014, 04:18:53 PM
Honestly, if it would bring peace in our time I would give ISIS all the Texans they could eat.

That might be good for the country as a whole. Just have a nice little war isolated to Texas. 

Make sure to get Willie Nelson, Kerry Wood, Chris Bosh and Devin the Dude out of there and then the heathens can have it.

Pretty sure Kerry is in Chicago full time.  I'll send a chopper for the rest.
8  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Morning in America: Butthurt Achieved on: September 12, 2014, 03:05:37 PM
Honestly, if it would bring peace in our time I would give ISIS all the Texans they could eat.
9  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Twatheads Twittering on: September 10, 2014, 10:12:27 AM
Are one of you guys maury compson?

Fairly certain he is not one of us.

Kind of wish he was though.
10  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Twatheads Twittering on: September 08, 2014, 11:11:43 AM
TheKapman


do u get ur jay jersey dry cleaned or laundered

I hate to be the dongchugger, but in what world is Cutler near the top of the blame for that loss?

That was a return to 2009 Bears football where you had a situation in which Cutler had to be perfect and he wasn't. The offensive line was good enough but the receiving corps was in disarray. The defense made stops only occasionally. Would Aaron Rodgers have made that asinine Caleb Hanie-esque toss to Kyle Williams? I'm guessing he would not. In my mind that loss was on several people, and some of it was as random as Brandon Marshall fumbling and Alshon picking a bad time to tweak a hammy.

I'm one of the leading Cutler apologists in the free world and I believe that is the type of game he is good enough to pull out - and he didn't. Does that mean he's terrible? No, it means he might... <choke> ... he might not <drinks water> be as good as I think he is.

Honestly, I don't even think he saw Williams, and from his perspective, Martellus was probably open. It's the only photo I use, but:



It appears to me that Williams was probably shielded by Mills

Isn't that kind of the point of the whole Don't Throw Across Your Body Back to the Middle of the Field rule - that you aren't going to have a full view of where you're throwing and are flying blind to some extent?

No Cutler did not lose that game single-handedly, but if I was forced at musketpoint to pick a culprit it would be him. They were driving for the go-ahead score and he made a really bad decision to stop that from happening. I'm a known dumbass, but my hope/expectation was that with Trestman having two years now to grow Jay's football, that he'd expel this type of slapdickery from his system. I think I just need to come to terms with the fact that Jay is never going to have that breakout year where he puts it all together and shoots fireballs of stardom out of his orifices. He's always going to be an above-average QB who will make our buttholes pucker a couple times a game with a terrible decision, but could win a Super Bowl with the right talent around him and a few breaks in the clustermug that is the NFL.

I guess I was just hoping for better from our guy Jake.

Also, I didn't see this play, but unless there's a Buffalo Bill below the numbers that doesn't appear in this photo, it looks like he could have run for a first down fairly easily.
11  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Javier Baez 2014 ROY-MVP-World Series MVP Thread on: September 08, 2014, 09:56:56 AM
Fuck Gordo, back to Baez.

Since taking the golden sombrero in Cincinatti 8/26, he's struck out 11 times in 39 PAs, and he's also walked in each of the last two games.

I know it's not much, but hopefully this means he's going to start forcing pitchers to get inside the strike zone on him.


They said if he qualified, he'd be 7th in the majors in pitches seen per plate appearance. He'll find it.

I mean, that'll happen when you swing and miss as much as he does. But I agree, he'll find it.

that's a good point. I guess the next step would be how many balls vs strikes seen per at bat? How many fouls? I don't know. Seeing pitches is good no matter what since it tires the pitcher out just the same.

I'm flashing back to Apex's hatred of Matt Murton here, along with my favorite line of his, something to the effect that Murton's greatest strength as a hitter was not swinging the bat.

That's also a good point.

I just want to clarify, I am not comparing Murton and Baez as players.  The situation just reminded me of Pex's Murton line, which made me laugh.
12  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Javier Baez 2014 ROY-MVP-World Series MVP Thread on: September 08, 2014, 09:46:49 AM
Fuck Gordo, back to Baez.

Since taking the golden sombrero in Cincinatti 8/26, he's struck out 11 times in 39 PAs, and he's also walked in each of the last two games.

I know it's not much, but hopefully this means he's going to start forcing pitchers to get inside the strike zone on him.


They said if he qualified, he'd be 7th in the majors in pitches seen per plate appearance. He'll find it.

I mean, that'll happen when you swing and miss as much as he does. But I agree, he'll find it.

that's a good point. I guess the next step would be how many balls vs strikes seen per at bat? How many fouls? I don't know. Seeing pitches is good no matter what since it tires the pitcher out just the same.

I'm flashing back to Apex's hatred of Matt Murton, along with my favorite line of his, something to the effect that Murton's greatest strength as a hitter was not swinging the bat.
13  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unreadable on: September 03, 2014, 12:57:56 PM
If anyone could just find the proof that we all know is out there of Gordo buttfucking stray dogs maybe he'd finally get fired.

Anyone know any of the 4chan guys?

I think we all know that Thrill knows those guys.

Did I miss out on a meming?

Like anyone even knows at this point.

So it is written.



Thrill doesn't strike me as the kind of person who's ready to kill some woman because she didn't like a video game or whatever





In that second one you could be talking about literally anyone in the Shoutbox.
14  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unreadable on: September 03, 2014, 12:14:15 PM
If anyone could just find the proof that we all know is out there of Gordo buttfucking stray dogs maybe he'd finally get fired.

Anyone know any of the 4chan guys?

I think we all know that Thrill knows those guys.

Did I miss out on a meming?

Like anyone even knows at this point.

So it is written.



Thrill doesn't strike me as the kind of person who's ready to kill some woman because she didn't like a video game or whatever

Well SOMEBODY stole my nude photos...
15  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Bearbonnais 2014: Emstink's Evil Plan Hatches In Earnest on: September 02, 2014, 01:51:22 PM

WOULD BUTKUS OR SINGLETARY OR OTIS WILSON OR URLACKER ABANDON DA BEARES FOR CALIFORNYA? I THINK NOT, MY FRENT.

Oddly, I feel like Ditka would completely sympathize though.

Or else he'd forbid Briggs to go, but offer to show up at the opening himself for a 10% discount off his regular appearance fee.
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