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News: Oct 12 - Oral History: Cubs hire Theo  http://www.desipio.com/?p=3639
 
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1  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2015: The Back To The Future Season on: May 21, 2015, 02:59:38 PM

If you can get 18 batters-faced worth of that kind of production, why not take it? Maybe Jepstink can find another guy for cheap who is nails the first time through, but also struggles on the 2nd/3rd pass and just piggyback them on each other.

I don't hate the strategy as Jake Arrietas and Jon Lesters don't necessarily grow on trees, but if that's the case we need to do better than Edwin Jackson and Travis Wood.

We really should have planted that tree next to the one that grows .900 OPS first basemen.
2  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Single Greatest Thread Ever on: May 19, 2015, 09:14:46 AM
Phil Coke


*assuming he doesn't clear waivers and end up back in Iowa.


A coke problem in Des Moines is much better (understandable?) than one in Chicago.

In Des Moines, it's meth.

Actually Des Moines is mostly overrun by young white professionals and hipsters now, so it's probably just crappy overpriced weed.

I choose to believe this is a not-so-veiled shot at Oleg.
3  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Jorge Soler Zero Percent Financing Thud On The Shower Door SPLOOGE Fest on: May 18, 2015, 10:18:31 PM
I can't get too butthurt about those calls.

I can? If you call three straight pitches outside the zone a strike, fuck you. You are bad at your job.

He didn't.  Pitch 3 (the pitch that was clearly way outside) was called a ball.  Pitches 1 and 4 (just outside) and pitch 2 (might even have caught the black) were called strikes.

If you're seriously going to argue that calling all three of those pitches strikes is good umping, I'm just going to walk away. Everyone of those was outside the zone. If the best you can say about ONE of three pitches is "might have caught the zone", that's not good.

I didn't say anything about good umpiring, you twat.  You said he called three straight bad pitches for strikes.  You were wrong.

EDIT: As for the walking away bit, though, be my guest.

I don't even get why you're arguing with me if you're not defending the official anyway? I conceded your point that Jorge should have protected on strike three. If you're not trying to argue that the ump did a good job, where's our disagreement? Are you really that upset that I think something is outrageously bad and you think it was merely "not that bad?" Upset enough to call me a twat, sir?

Clearly, I am upset enough to call you a twat, because that's exactly what I did.  I quietly and politely stated facts and was met with that passive aggressive bullshit.  As far as you're concerned, anything that's not good is outrageously bad and although it might just be your schtick, after a few months it just gets really, really fucking noisy, and I really, really don't want to have to hear it any more.

Ouch. I'm afraid I'm left with no options then. I really wish it hadn't come to this.

He's a Brit. Shouldn't that be cunt?

He's Australian, you buffoon.

Also: WOOOOOOO! 346 - IN YOUR FACE MATE
4  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: May 18, 2015, 10:16:40 PM
Anyone been following this Albert Almora kid playing center field down at Tennessee? Great glove, great makeup according to all the reports, his walk percentage has jumped from an awful 2.6% last year to 6.7% this year, and his strikeout rate is less than 10%.

Anyone ever hear of that historical figure, Adolf Hitler? Gifted speaker, decorated WWI veteran, mastermind behind the Autobahn and Volkswagen.

I heard that guy was an atheist.
5  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: I admit it... on: May 15, 2015, 07:07:13 PM
I unfollowed. Dude is seriously worse than Hitler.

Still have no idea who this is.

So, he's got a TV show then?
6  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: May 14, 2015, 09:10:43 PM
The big club is interesting again, you weird minor league following pederasts can close this thread down now.
7  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Firebarn Chris Coghlan Because Fuck You, That's Why on: May 14, 2015, 12:04:07 PM
I feel like you're reaching on hating Coghlan. His numbers are not impressive, but his peripherals say he's unlucky.

I think there's now confirmation bias with this narrative. Every time he hits anything that's not totally weak, people go on again about how unlucky he is.

His BABIP is definitely low but even if you allow for some correction, it's not like he'd be some great player. He's basically performing exactly as every projection system says he should at the plate.

The acceptance of his spot on the roster remains bullshit toleration.

Who would of thought that a thread dedicated to the hatred of Chris Coghlan would contain one of the most meta conversations in internet history?
8  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Firebarn Chris Coghlan Because Fuck You, That's Why on: May 14, 2015, 11:39:15 AM

Yeah.  Way to almost fuck up the at-bat by taking your bat off your shoulder against a guy who was nowhere near the strike zone his entire appearance last night.

Huh? Am I missing something? He walked on a 3-1 count.

Should've been a 4-pitch walk had Marty McPasty just left his largely-useless bat on his shoulders the entire time.

Really?  We're getting on guys for nearly not winning the game for the Cubs, now?  Tough crowd, man.

I'm posting in the Firebarn Chris Coghlan thread; I can pick as many goddamn nits as I want. 

We're not going to say anything about Soler doing that exact same thing though.

Well, at least we know who the REAL racists are.
9  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: The 2015 Blackhawks playoffs thread on: May 11, 2015, 10:11:44 PM
I look at the remaining playoff teams and go over it in my head and keep coming to the same conclusion: this thing is the Hawks to lose.
10  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2015: The Back To The Future Season on: May 11, 2015, 10:04:55 PM
Since I'm inclined to like Joe Maddon, I'm going to say he's saying to the front office "here look what you've given me. watch these bozos pitch or fix it."

Since I think he's very smart, that's almost the most reasonable assumption. I think that's what he did with Schlitter. The trouble is if you blow a game or two trying to make a point, you're probably not going to get that back unless you're replacing the crappy player with Craig Kimbrel or something.

By June I feel like this will be a team strength.  When they can go Grimm and Ramirez and Strop and Rondon , use Rosscup as a loogy (even though he's done admirably as a set up guy, yesterday aside), and Motte is the fifth right handed option, things will be okay. I just hope they can tread enough water before this team really takes off. And it will, god dammit.

Your overconfidence is your weakness, CT.

And your faith in the bullpen is yours.

11  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: The 2015 Blackhawks playoffs thread on: May 08, 2015, 12:04:13 AM
*fires revolvers into the air like Yosemite Sam*
12  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: I admit it... on: May 07, 2015, 08:51:04 AM
So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

Frankly my wife doesn't really care if I look at them, I just can't help but feel like a creepy old man living in a college dorm when I do. Probably because I'm a creepy old man living in a college dorm.

Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?
Because if it's a girl just wait 21 years and the creepy old man feeling goes through the roof.
I haven't looked directly at a female that's under thirty for a long time.

Shit

SHIT
13  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: I admit it... on: May 06, 2015, 03:00:42 PM
There was some fuckhead Monday who called people who wouldn't agree with his shrieking hot take that it was a BIG GAME idiots and to stop following him (in which I gladly obliged).

That was Tommy Cook. I basically agree with what he was saying (even if he got a tad hysterical, probably because it was late at night and he's young and it was past his bedtime). Anyway, he's still one of my favorite Cub-follows.

Well have fun with that, then.

Eli's right - he is good.

Not sure how I feel about taking the word of the two most prolific tweeters I know as to who else is a good follow.

It's like asking a fat person what food is good. 

Pen apparently prefers to get his dietary advice from anorexics with food sensitivities and his Twitter advice from people who created an account years ago that they never update.
 

Now now, it's well established that Pen gets all his dietary advice from finicky 4 year-olds.

Says the guy who is completely incapable of distinguishing any foods from the other.

IT'S ALL YUMMY TO ME!

Yes, what kind of idiot eats all different kinds of foods?  I guess I should just eat nothing but plain hamburgers cut into tiny pieces like some guy who finds bananas to be just a little too strong for his tastes.
14  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: I admit it... on: May 06, 2015, 02:27:16 PM
There was some fuckhead Monday who called people who wouldn't agree with his shrieking hot take that it was a BIG GAME idiots and to stop following him (in which I gladly obliged).

That was Tommy Cook. I basically agree with what he was saying (even if he got a tad hysterical, probably because it was late at night and he's young and it was past his bedtime). Anyway, he's still one of my favorite Cub-follows.

Well have fun with that, then.

Eli's right - he is good.

Not sure how I feel about taking the word of the two most prolific tweeters I know as to who else is a good follow.

It's like asking a fat person what food is good. 

Pen apparently prefers to get his dietary advice from anorexics with food sensitivities and his Twitter advice from people who created an account years ago that they never update.
 

Now now, it's well established that Pen gets all his dietary advice from finicky 4 year-olds.
15  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Fuck these goddamn gutless fucking assholes on: May 05, 2015, 09:40:25 AM
Strop has dropped two steamers in a row. When do we start worrying?

Cubs got nickled and dimed to death. Nary a hard hit ball. I think that's what Huey is saying.

That game sucked but the Cubs had a 5-0 lead before the Cards even had a chance to hit. The bullpen was awful but Travis Wood, man. He's still Travis Wood.

And the Cardinals are still really good.

Yeah none of that is comforting. All of that is in fact more reason to be angry. They had a 5-0 lead and blew it. The bullpen was awful and has now cost them 5? games this year. Travis Wood is still Travis wood and he's not going anywhere.

And the Cardinals are still really good.

What were you trying to say here, really? Don't be a grief counselor. You're bad at it.

Remember those halcyon days of early April when a wide-eyed SKO was really excited about the team's bullpen?

That was a thing, right?
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