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News: Oct 12 - Oral History: Cubs hire Theo  http://www.desipio.com/?p=3639
 
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1  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Jake Arrieta Premature Ejaculation Thread on: August 30, 2015, 09:56:58 PM
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
2  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Jon Lester Jacking It Lefty Splooge Thread on: August 30, 2015, 11:06:19 AM
His inability to field his position and hold runners is going to make him worthless in close playoff games. The Dodgers have all 4 runs because this guy can't play his position.

The guy that's allowed 1 fucking run in 21 IP in two world series? This the fucking guy you're talking about you fucking chode?

You just don't understand how playoff games work now. These days they're 95% pitchers fielding comebackers and holding runners on. The rest of that shit is just noise.
3  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2015: The Back To The Future Season on: August 25, 2015, 04:03:29 PM
'

They say we're living in the golden age of television but we no longer have cheesy 80s theme songs so I call bullshit on that. The only one I'd have preferred over the Perfect Strangers theme would have been Growing Pains, which would have been extremely suitable with a team full of rookies and all.

But Growing Pains didn't take place in Chicago or have Wrigley in its credits.

This is true but I have long maintained that the Growing Pains theme song is the greatest theme song in the history of corny TV theme songs and so I must champion it wherever possible.

I won't knock you for that. I've been championing "Movin' On Up" since before I can remember.
4  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Jon Lester Jacking It Lefty Splooge Thread on: August 24, 2015, 07:53:06 PM
I lol'd at a terrified Jon making David Ross run all the way out to get that comebacker to the mound.  Then I cried when he allowed a run.

That was pretty interesting, though I'm not sure Greg Maddux himself would've been able to turn that into an out.  That fucking ball fell into no man's land.

Greg Maddux himself would have made a damn play on it and managed not to fire it into the Taco Bell drive through though. In fact I'd give him better than 50/50 to get an out at first.

I personally would have fallen down on my way to it, picked it up and from one knee sent the Indians bullpen a present they would truly enjoy "10/10 would def purchase again".

The play was what it was. What bothered me was Ross' idiotic decision to fire the ball to 2nd when the CLE runner hadn't made any kind of turn at all.
5  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Fuck these goddamn gutless fucking assholes on: August 23, 2015, 10:53:22 AM
Dan Haren must be Latin for "absolutely fucking useless." Dallas Beeler can't be the guy in the minors who was closest to the bigs....can he?

I still like the offense's chances to win a slugfest though.

Do you not know how to bump any other thread but this one

Well, his name is in the title.

ROASTED
6  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Jake Arrieta Premature Ejaculation Thread on: August 21, 2015, 08:38:03 AM
Olney tweeted that, according to ELIAS, Jake was the first pitcher in a decade to go at least 6 innings and not allow a single flyball. Jake is the fucking truth, man.

It only makes your hatred for him more perplexing.
7  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: August 19, 2015, 12:53:09 PM
Yesterday marked the 4th straight game that Javier Baez has collected 2 hits in a game.  Holding steady at .294/.366/.509 (.875 OPS) for the season at Iowa in 250 or so plate appearances.
Quick.  Trade him.  His value will never be higher than it is today.  Strike while his bat is hot.  A rolling stone gathers no moss.  Buy low, sell high.  54-40 or bust.  He who hesitates is lost.  something, something

Stew, as one of the resident history nerds here, I can't let your mistype one of America's greatest Presidential campaign slogans go uncorrected.  It is, of course, Fifty-Four Forty or Fight.
8  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Ricketts Family Annoyance Thread on: August 17, 2015, 02:37:14 PM
Anyways, this is a dumb conversation.

Hmm.  Who was it who forced his way to the front seat, grabbed the wheel, and crashed it in the ditch toward Crazytown?  I can't be expected to remember what happened ten minutes ago, man.

I'm admitting we're in crazy town. I think you are all overestimating how committed I am to my hypothetical. I doubt Theo just up and walks away either. I was just saying that if the Cubs do win a title this year or next year and he opts to walk away after cementing himself as Curse Breaker, I get it and it wouldn't be Ricketts fault.

If my original statement had just been "I could see Theo leaving if they've won a series and he wants another challenge elsewhere, and if he does leave it wouldn't be because Ricketts is too cheap to extend him, but I'm about 90% sure he'll be extended" would that be okay? I'd like to amend my statement to that.

For god's sake Andy, just give me the MODS for this place already.
9  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: August 17, 2015, 01:44:38 PM
Cubs give 1.2 million to a 17 year old Korean 5 tool player http://www.bleachernation.com/2015/08/17/chicago-cubs-sign-korean-prospect-kwang-min-kwon-for-1-2-million/.

Seems a lot of money for a lottery ticket so they must really like the kid. I would also place the likelihood of Al turning his article about the signing into a discussion of Leon Lee and Hee Seop Choi at roughly 10,000 percent.

"What If Hee-Seop Choi Was Never Traded and Was Good? An Alternate History In Ten Parts by Al Yellon."

Chapter 1: Choi gets the hell out of the way.

Wow, the possibilities are endless. For one thing, this probably moves up the appearance of hilariously racist Asian t-shirts in the bleachers by 4 years.
10  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Ricketts Family Annoyance Thread on: August 17, 2015, 10:03:35 AM
In conclusion, while I don't want to diminish Hoyer's contributions in any way, this is for goddamned sure Theo's Team and that's how it should be.
11  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: The Ryan Pace Era... BEGINS!!! on: August 15, 2015, 11:21:38 AM
DPD

Kevin White to start the season on the PUP list and possibly miss the entire season after having surgery on a stress fracture in his leg.
12  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower on: August 15, 2015, 11:07:31 AM
The Cubs have had three players from Indiana University since I graduated in 1997: Kevin Orie, Mickey Morandini and Kyle Schwarber.

Additionally, the Bulls had A.J. Guyton in a couple Tim Floyd seasons, the Bears employed Adewale Ogunleye for a few years and the Chicago Fire had Dema Kovalenko.

In the dark ages, the Bears drafted but did not sign George Taliafero, the White Sox rented Ted Kluszewski and the Bulls drafted Scott May.

Schwarber has a chance to be at least as good as any of them.

Schwarber will never be half the player that The Mick was.  Never.

Has there ever been a worse nickname than "Dandy Little Glove Man"?

I'm pretty sure Derrick May's nickname was "Derrick".

I always called him D-May.

I usually called him Derrick Maybe which eventually became Derrick Maybenot

Derrerck Maybeanzobeams

Dare eck Maymeltsteelanzobeams

*internet implodes*
13  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Kyle SKOwarber Hulking Thread of Sploogepower on: August 15, 2015, 09:21:48 AM
The Cubs have had three players from Indiana University since I graduated in 1997: Kevin Orie, Mickey Morandini and Kyle Schwarber.

Additionally, the Bulls had A.J. Guyton in a couple Tim Floyd seasons, the Bears employed Adewale Ogunleye for a few years and the Chicago Fire had Dema Kovalenko.

In the dark ages, the Bears drafted but did not sign George Taliafero, the White Sox rented Ted Kluszewski and the Bulls drafted Scott May.

Schwarber has a chance to be at least as good as any of them.

Schwarber will never be half the player that The Mick was.  Never.

Has there ever been a worse nickname than "Dandy Little Glove Man"?

I'm pretty sure Derrick May's nickname was "Derrick".
14  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: National Tonkoon's Vacation on: August 14, 2015, 01:07:04 PM
Thinking about heading down to Comiskular this afternoon.  Anything I need to know?

Redline to Sox-35th.  The Cuban sandwich stand is pretty good. Lots of places for the kids to play, including misters /shower.  Upper level isn't as bad as it used to be, but I would suggest 100 level seats.

Hmm... I had a feeling that might be the case.  There are four tickets right behind home, ninth row of the upper deck, only $33 each (which is definitely under par) but I don't want to take the kids up there if it's going to be dodgy.  I think we'll be priced out of the 100-level, though.

Day game--you'll be fine.  Just get the hell out of there afterwards as it'll be after 6 PM and then it will start to get dodgy.

I don't know if I agree with this. Especially if all they do is walk back and forth to the redline.
It's not like you are heading back to your parked car in Canaryville.

Fine.

Either way, go for it, Tonk.

The 14 year old girl response makes me feel like I've chapped Huey's ass a bit by disagreeing with his south side knowledge credentials.
Kind of makes my day.

I don't pretend to know the south side, I have no credentials; was thinking more about the obnoxiousness that one would find on an El platform after 7 PM but upon second thought I don't think it'd be any less obnoxious right after the game.

If you're down in that neck of the woods anyway, walk up Shields to 26th St. after the game, hang a right,  and get a breaded steak sandwich at Ricobene's.

Afterward it's a short waddle over to Cermak & State to get on the red line.
You're welcome.

Dammit.  A moment of silence for all the Ricobene's locations that used to be in the Loop.
15  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Score some fucking runs thread on: August 13, 2015, 04:03:57 PM
*Bursts into thread and Tommy-guns everyone to death*
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