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News: Oct 12 - Oral History: Cubs hire Theo  http://www.desipio.com/?p=3639
 
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1  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unreadable on: July 20, 2014, 04:49:38 PM
Mr. Telander in the Sun Times speaks out with moral indignation about O.J. Simpson's crimes,

"There are few athletes, current or past, I dislike more than Lance Armstrong.

Iím not talking about outright bad guys, such as O.J. Simpson ó whom I spoke with several times before those unfortunate murders and always found to be cordial and helpful"

Unfortunate murders?  That's serious condemnation.  Maybe you should re-think that, Rick.




"Those unfortunate murders" doesn't say anything about Simpson's participation.  Just what exactly are you suggesting here, Stew?

"Mistakes were made. People were murdered."

I like that he goes out of his way to give OJ credit for being cordial and helpful.
2  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: July 18, 2014, 08:47:38 AM
I know prospects never work out, but last night they all pretty much homered (Bryant, Baez, Russell, Soler).
This is getting absurd, and they seem to be feeding off each other.

Bryant was 3-5 with a double and homer. Baez 2-4 with a double and a homer. Russell 2-4 with a homer. Soler 1-2 with homer and 2 walks.

Another example of the failed Epstine administration - they can't even provide these so-called prospects with enough to eat.

I'm going to give you a quiet golf clap, but not a standing ovation for this. I mean, it's pretty easy to make jokes on the internet when somebody sets them up.
3  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Let's look forward to the Cardinals Methocalypse on: July 18, 2014, 08:38:46 AM
See, here's how it's gonna go down:

The Cubs will win the NLCS, advancing to the World Series.  That in itself is going to be followed by a national media firestorm the likes of which have not been seen in decades. 

Then, they will play the World Series.  It will likely be the highest rated World Series since the demise of network television.  They will win. Time will stop. 

Naturally, there will be a huge parade/rally in Chicago which will likely make the streets impassable for a day or two. The eyes of the baseball universe will be on the City for the next month, in which local and national television broadcasts will recount the Cubs history ad nauseam, nursing homes will be searched in hopes of finding somebody to interview who has been alive for multiple Cubs World Championships, several sets of obnoxious new parents will claim that their baby was born .3 seconds after Kris Bryant's walk off home run cleared the fence and thus their child is the first born into a world that knows the Chicago Cubs as world champions.  Also, Grant Deporter will coax Kobiashi out of retirement to face off against Joey Chestnut to see which of them can eat a whole goat in the shortest amount of time. 

Throughout this, of course, there will be a great wailing and gnashing of teeth from a couple of fanbases...

Sox fans: The Cubs don't deserve all this attention, we won the World Series first!
Cards fans: The Cubs don't deserve all this attention, we won several World Series!

And then we will just give them a condescending pat on the head and say "that's nice fellows, but you see, this is the CUBS.  Which mean it actually matters now."

At least, that's my plan.



Looks like I got myself a new signature...

Which mean we're all going to forget how to speak English. Which make sense because we'll all be drunk then.

let's not destroy CT's jeanyiss by picking on his Hutarded error

Means. MEANS.  Dammit, I lose my blouse.

"Shirt"... "Shirt".

Shit.
4  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unreadable on: July 17, 2014, 02:17:47 PM

Quote
While baseball isn't a celestial game being run by a dice-rolling game-master, the premise makes a bit of sense

No, no it doesn't. Sorry.

I'm impressed you got that far. There's nothing better than an article in which the very first sentence is incorrect.

Quote
Occam's Razor is a belief that "the easiest explanation is often the best explanation."
5  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unreadable on: July 17, 2014, 01:41:15 PM

Well, Al Yellon's a fucking idiot, and...


well, that's about it.

Well, Al didn't write it. He just Editor-in-Chiefed it.
6  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Totally Unreadable on: July 17, 2014, 01:24:51 PM
Can somebody explain to me what's going on here?

http://www.bleedcubbieblue.com/2014/7/16/5896215/occams-razor-arismendy-alcantara
7  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Let's look forward to the Cardinals Methocalypse on: July 17, 2014, 11:04:58 AM
See, here's how it's gonna go down:

The Cubs will win the NLCS, advancing to the World Series.  That in itself is going to be followed by a national media firestorm the likes of which have not been seen in decades. 

Then, they will play the World Series.  It will likely be the highest rated World Series since the demise of network television.  They will win. Time will stop. 

Naturally, there will be a huge parade/rally in Chicago which will likely make the streets impassable for a day or two. The eyes of the baseball universe will be on the City for the next month, in which local and national television broadcasts will recount the Cubs history ad nauseam, nursing homes will be searched in hopes of finding somebody to interview who has been alive for multiple Cubs World Championships, several sets of obnoxious new parents will claim that their baby was born .3 seconds after Kris Bryant's walk off home run cleared the fence and thus their child is the first born into a world that knows the Chicago Cubs as world champions.  Also, Grant Deporter will coax Kobiashi out of retirement to face off against Joey Chestnut to see which of them can eat a whole goat in the shortest amount of time. 

Throughout this, of course, there will be a great wailing and gnashing of teeth from a couple of fanbases...

Sox fans: The Cubs don't deserve all this attention, we won the World Series first!
Cards fans: The Cubs don't deserve all this attention, we won several World Series!

And then we will just give them a condescending pat on the head and say "that's nice fellows, but you see, this is the CUBS.  Which mean it actually matters now."

At least, that's my plan.



Looks like I got myself a new signature...

Which mean we're all going to forget how to speak English. Which make sense because we'll all be drunk then.

let's not destroy CT's jeanyiss by picking on his Hutarded error

Means. MEANS.  Dammit, I lose my blouse.
8  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Let's look forward to the Cardinals Methocalypse on: July 17, 2014, 10:00:47 AM
See, here's how it's gonna go down:

The Cubs will win the NLCS, advancing to the World Series.  That in itself is going to be followed by a national media firestorm the likes of which have not been seen in decades. 

Then, they will play the World Series.  It will likely be the highest rated World Series since the demise of network television.  They will win. Time will stop. 

Naturally, there will be a huge parade/rally in Chicago which will likely make the streets impassable for a day or two. The eyes of the baseball universe will be on the City for the next month, in which local and national television broadcasts will recount the Cubs history ad nauseam, nursing homes will be searched in hopes of finding somebody to interview who has been alive for multiple Cubs World Championships, several sets of obnoxious new parents will claim that their baby was born .3 seconds after Kris Bryant's walk off home run cleared the fence and thus their child is the first born into a world that knows the Chicago Cubs as world champions.  Also, Grant Deporter will coax Kobiashi out of retirement to face off against Joey Chestnut to see which of them can eat a whole goat in the shortest amount of time. 

Throughout this, of course, there will be a great wailing and gnashing of teeth from a couple of fanbases...

Sox fans: The Cubs don't deserve all this attention, we won the World Series first!
Cards fans: The Cubs don't deserve all this attention, we won several World Series!

And then we will just give them a condescending pat on the head and say "that's nice fellows, but you see, this is the CUBS.  Which mean it actually matters now."

At least, that's my plan.

9  General Category / The Dead Pool / Re: 0 For Life on: July 15, 2014, 11:16:21 AM
I guess the Generals were due.
10  General Category / On-Hoops.com / Re: 2014-2015 Which Team Will Apex be a Lifelong Fan of *THIS* Year Thread on: July 11, 2014, 11:47:11 AM
*sips wine in a warm bath while re-reading all of Apex's retweets over the past few days*

If that's fun for you you're AN IDITO.
11  General Category / On-Hoops.com / Re: 2014-2015 Which Team Will Apex be a Lifelong Fan of *THIS* Year Thread on: July 11, 2014, 11:30:26 AM
... I'm feeling some meatball-esque irrtation as it becomes more clear how long this rebuilding process is going to take. But hey, every chance to win is sacred and all that, right?

Depends on what you mean by "a chance."

I guess we know what Theo meant by it.

What's your particular beef - with the moves they made (or didn't make) this offseason, or something else?

Basically, this thread is not for well-informed opinions so I don't really have much to offer. I just wish the team wasn't so terrible and that the short-term outlook was better. My irrational concern is that Theo will get too wrapped up in the purity of his farm/draft rebuild effort and not want to sign free agents or trade for bigger names and they'll still be a .500-or-worse ballclub in 2015.

This is based on absolutely nothing.

If the Cubs are going to suck anyway, why throw good money after bad? Also, in order to get any decent players to want to swim in this cesspool of bad ballplayers, they'd need to give them long-term deals that would eventually block younger players from moving up.

I don't think you'll still see the Kevin Greggs of the world around here next year. 2014 will be the March to .500.

If 2014 is about watching the top prospects (we know the names) sink or swim at the top level and evaluating them before filling in the gaps through trade/free agency for 2015, I'll be satisfied with the timeline. That means, I don't care if they're at or around .500 next year but by 2015, they'd better be or else, I don't know, go Heat.

Won't LeBron be back in Cleveland by then?

No.

YUP

I'm just gonna leave this right here...

http://www.si.com/nba/2014/07/11/lebron-james-cleveland-cavaliers

*backs out of thread*
12  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: July 11, 2014, 10:55:22 AM
Soler and Bryant with home runs last night.

FWIW, I've seen the group of Alacantra/Baez/Bryant/Soler/Russell/Almora/Schwarber referred to as "The Manificent Seven", which might be selling McKinney short.

They can be the Manificent 8, too.

Or we could just not create group names for them at all.

I mean seriously, what's the point of fun anyway?

If that's fun for you you're AN IDITO.

Not sure I ever claimed otherwise.
13  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread on: July 11, 2014, 08:50:16 AM
Soler and Bryant with home runs last night.

FWIW, I've seen the group of Alacantra/Baez/Bryant/Soler/Russell/Almora/Schwarber referred to as "The Manificent Seven", which might be selling McKinney short.

They can be the Manificent 8, too.

Or we could just not create group names for them at all.

I mean seriously, what's the point of fun anyway?
14  General Category / You'll Laugh, You'll Cry, You'll Kiss Eight Bucks Goodbye / Re: Jack Pish, Bollocks Recruit on: July 06, 2014, 10:37:14 AM
I appreciate the warning.  But it does me no good if I don't know the name of the movie that I am going to avoid.

It might not hurt to just avoid Kevin Costner movies in general.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!  KEVIN COSTNER WASN'T THE PROBLEM HERE!

Best Robin Hood ever.

THE BEST ROBIN HOOD WAS THAT FOX IN THE DISNEY ONE AND I HAVE SEVERAL HASTILY DRAWN PIE CHARTS ON NAPKINS TO PROVE IT N

This is the fuckin' truth.
15  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: DA HAWKS SIGNING DA RUNNING MAN, BOWSTINKISTERRIBLE 2014-2015 on: July 06, 2014, 10:35:41 AM
Tab Banford is saying the Hawks will announce the Kane and Toews signings at the Blackhawks convention.
[/quote

Is that a new nickname you've given yourself

This is great right down the broken quote.
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