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4741  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Starlin Castro Unbridled Manlove with a Side Order of Sploogetasticism Threa on: March 10, 2010, 10:36:04 PM
Ron Cedeno Freddie Bynum was no Freddie Bynum. Jose Macias


Thing was, as bad as Jose Macias was, he actually had a major league career before he came to the Cubs. It's kind of special knowing that Cedeno and even Bynum got their first taste of undeserved major league service as Cubs.

Although there was a moment in time where I thought RonCe might actually have been turning into a decent hitter. I can't say the same for Bynum.
4742  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Fuck its silent in here....... on: March 10, 2010, 12:59:51 PM
With the honesty and integrity of a shady used car salesman, Nancy Pelosi pitches Obamacare to the public....

Quote
But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.

You always know your getting an awesome deal when the salesman busts out the "trust me" line or says you have to buy it first to see what you are really getting. That always helps me put my guard down and makes it easier to fork over the cash.

Or for the people not based in Nancy Pelosi's fucked up world of insanity, it makes people distrust you even more. You Democrats need to muzzle that bitch, she doesn't help you at all.


At this point, you're really just a parody of yourself.

At this point?

This fucknut crossed that Rubicon ages ago, in my book.

I just love how he comes in, doesn't comment or reply to any of the posts before his, then pumps out the crazy.  Great stuff.

It's MikeC's fucked up world of insanity.

We're just posting in it.

Have any of you Democrats put a muzzle on Pelosi yet? Muzzles aren't that expensive. I heard if you schedule an appointment with her secretary you can get in there and slap the muzzle on. How hard can it be? Oh right, it's just like you Democrats. Always passing the buck. I have an idea. Why don't you ALL go put the muzzle on at the same time? You know, like a Communistically or something.

Yeah you would do that. You make me sick.
4743  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Kerry Wood Sploogefest Thread on: March 10, 2010, 12:57:59 PM
Just trade Silva for him

Many problems solved. I don't care if Cleveland has no interest in Silva, trade them anyway. Gitrdun Jim

Of all of the annoying things you've done lately, linking to a George Castle article where he implores the Cubs to reacquire Wood may be the most annoying.

I know nothing of George Castle. Couldn't tell you a thing he did/wrote before today. Trading off Silva and getting Wood in return would spring me back into a nice boner about the Cubs.

I'd get a nice boner if the Cubs traded Mike Fontenot for Justin Upton, but that doesn't mean it's worth thinking about.

Definitely. Especially since the Fontenot/Upton thing is exactly the same as Wood/Silva

I can almost taste Yeti's Desipio butthurtedness these last few days.

Why would anyone trade for Carlos Silva? Isn't Wood a free agent after this year anyway (maybe it was mentioned in Yeti's link, but I refuse to read George Asscastle)?

How does Yeti's ass taste?

Like undigested Fritos.

So, that would be like regular Fritos then?

The BBQ kind are the shit.

Chili Cheese trump all.
4744  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Starlin Castro Unbridled Manlove with a Side Order of Sploogetasticism Threa on: March 10, 2010, 10:08:46 AM
In case anyone missed it:

http://www.thecubreporter.com/2010/03/09/alls-wells-hohokam-park

Quote
...with Starlin Castro breaking off first, Micah Hoffpauir struck out swinging on a 3-2 pitch, and Castro was called out for sliding past 2nd base (he had the base stolen easily, too). I hate to say this because it's not fair to Castro, but the play brought back nightmares of Ronny Cedeno running the bases.



At least he didn't get thrown out on a walk like RonCe did.

Yeah, it's not remotely the same thing. No one can top RonCe's retardity.
4745  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2009-2010 Blackhawks Gutless Asshole Clusterfuck Thread on: March 09, 2010, 11:52:54 PM
speaking of the Canucks how can they expect to win with a goalie that has recently given up 5,3,5 (pulled),2,5,?

They should trade for Huet.
4746  General Category / Boobtube / Re: Lost: The Final Boner on: March 09, 2010, 08:45:32 PM
I wish TDubbs were here to let me know how awesome tonight's gonna be.

(I just hit "info" on tonight's episode on Comcast's schedule, and it looks like at the very least Kerm should be pleased.)

Shouldn't it suit Morph more?

I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

And, actually, it looks like a couple people we all miss are coming back tonight.

You miss Arzt as much as I do? Hooray!
4747  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: 2009-2010 Blackhawks Gutless Asshole Clusterfuck Thread on: March 09, 2010, 06:54:57 PM
Maybe this has already been mentioned in the Basement, but I'm frankly to scared to check...

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=313064

Quote
Ryan Kesler has been on quite a roll of late.

At the recent Olympics, he scored in the men's hockey final and emerged with a silver medal as part of an impressive young U.S. team. Since returning to the Vancouver Canucks, he has three goals in four games -- with two of those goals coming in Detroit near where he grew up in Livonia.

And now the 25-year-old can celebrate being the cover athlete for the NHL 2K11 video game, following in the footsteps of Alexander Ovechkin, Rick Nash, Jason Spezza, Joe Thornton, Marty Turco, Martin St. Louis, Jeremy Roenick, Chris Drury and Brendan Shanahan.

A truly cowardly choice.

It hasn't because nobody plays that game. No one.
4748  General Category / Paperback Writer / Re: Gravity's Rainbow on: March 09, 2010, 04:02:24 PM
The tangent I'm going off on here is this: how do you recommend something to someone without using the phrase "I'm not sure if this book is for you" which implies that you're somehow smarter/better than that person? It's a real problem and this problem, in and of itself, adds to the insufferable douche factor of the whole recommendation conundrum.

So the issue with these authors and their books is that you almost have to bump into someone that happens to have already read these books as recommendation is all but out of the question. Which is another reason why I'm glad this place exists so I can talk about these pointless things with people who know what I'm getting at. Maybe.

It's weird, because movies aren't at all like that.  People never take offense to being told that they
wouldn't enjoy a movie.  I think a lot of it is that few people are actually interested in reading
literature over escapist candy novels but are also self conscious about admitting it to others or
sometimes even themselves.  I don't get it.  I like escapist books just like I love escapist movies.  I
also have no interest in the world in trying to finish War and Peace again (made it 100 pages maybe)
or anything like it and I'm not ashamed of that.

I think a lot of things are just so different that the only way someone is going to know if they like it is
by trying and that applies to everything from sky diving to 1100 page novels revolving around a tennis
academy.  There's similar things that you can use to estimate if you'll like it, but if you're unfamiliar with
the general concept then you just have to try it.

If you like to sky dive then you'll probably like to bungi jump.  Liking the Da Vinci Code isn't going to mean
you'll like Focult's Pendulum, but liking House of Leaves probably means you'll like Infinite Jest.

Maybe one of the problems is school.  I know some high school teachers act like if you don't love whatever
classic novels they chose to teach then the problem is that you're failing to get it versus maybe it just sucks.
So a bunch of people probably grow up thinking that they're not smart enough to appreciate good novels
instead of the fact that The Scarlet Letter sucks balls and they should feel good about hating it.  And they
get such a stale view into the world of literature that they think those of us that enjoy it are reading a
bunch of classic/modern day Hawthorne style tripe.


A thousand times THI

And a million times THI

Fuck the vapid popcorn novel that was The Great Gatsby, too.

But the green light meant envy!

Thanks for summing that up, Pre. It's true - kids are basically taught to hate literature. It's so very sad.

Jane Eyre anyone? Fuck that book.
4749  General Category / Mom's Basement / Re: MLB 10: The Show on: March 09, 2010, 02:45:37 PM
I tried the offset catcher camera, and I didn't like it.  Timing is easier, but judging whether a pitch was going to be inside or outside was, in my opinion, a total bitch.  So was judging the break.  It looks pretty, though.

Also, I can't hit for shit on RTTS.  I'm a Yeti-esque 1-20 with 4 Ks.  And I'm not using power swing at all.

Whenever I use power swing my timing is way off. I can't convince myself it's just another button that you use to swing. For now I just try and use contact unless I'm way ahead in the count. Even then, though, I'm trying to earn a walk that just won't seem to come my way. It's great that it's such a simple interface and yet you can still be so wrong on trying to figure out how to hit. I do know, from last year, that once my ratings go up I'll be much better at making contact and hopefully I'll start getting some home runs.
4750  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Starlin Castro Unbridled Manlove with a Side Order of Sploogetasticism Thread on: March 09, 2010, 02:40:42 PM
Weren't we (as a whole) down on Brett Jackson as a first round pick?
4751  General Category / Paperback Writer / Re: Gravity's Rainbow on: March 09, 2010, 02:30:17 PM
Crying of Lot 49 is his shortest book but it's probably the most paranoid, if that means anything. Maybe pick that one up next and see if you enjoy it - it won't take you too long to get through and it's nowhere near as arduous.

You gave this advice on the IJ thread, and I think it's solid.  Crying of Lot 49 is a good introduction.

I hate to go with basic comparisons with such singular talents as Pynchon or DFW (but I lack their
ability to not, so here we are), but Crying has a rough flow of Candide as far as absurdest plot.  I
mean, it's in so many ways different and better, but that might prepare you a bit.

Gravity's Rainbow was hard to get through because there were so many parts where I just couldn't
wrap my head around if it was a dream or a delusion or the author writing drugged crazy or whatever.
When one of the couple actual "real" (I could ascribe something like thought and motive to them)
characters was involved (Mexico/Pointman/Pirate/Katje at times/Tchitcherine/Geli) I was able to follow
along better.  Once I pretty much gave up trying to tie anything together not involving those characters
and just read each section as a self contained vignette and it was a hell of a lot more fun.  I also read it
over a lot of train rides which surely increased my sense of how disjointed things were.

I agree that Infinite Jest had far more signal to noise for me.  I enjoyed that book vastly more than GR.
I suggest IJ to anyone I think could handle it, but I wouldn't recommend GR to many people.

I've really never been able to figure out how to not sound like an insufferable douche when it comes to recommending or not recommending these books to people. I have one friend that I told about IJ and he read it and was extremely glad to have put in the effort. I don't know anyone else that would be willing to do it over 1100 pages, 300 of which are tiny footnotes. Even still, I'd recommend IJ over GR every single time. It almost makes IJ seem like a linear novel comparison when it's nowhere near.

The tangent I'm going off on here is this: how do you recommend something to someone without using the phrase "I'm not sure if this book is for you" which implies that you're somehow smarter/better than that person? It's a real problem and this problem, in and of itself, adds to the insufferable douche factor of the whole recommendation conundrum.

So the issue with these authors and their books is that you almost have to bump into someone that happens to have already read these books as recommendation is all but out of the question. Which is another reason why I'm glad this place exists so I can talk about these pointless things with people who know what I'm getting at. Maybe.

Maybe not.


4752  General Category / Paperback Writer / Re: Gravity's Rainbow on: March 09, 2010, 11:40:20 AM
The constant theme of all his books seems to be paranoia and not only are his characters paranoid, you get paranoid because you're not sure what reality or alternate reality the narrative is taking place. For example: talking light bulbs.

This.

And the transition from rational narrative to "what the hell is going on" is seamless in a lot of passages. Gravity's Rainbow is secretly about 500 pages longer than it looks because you end up going back and rereading the last page or so to figure out what you must have missed.

The best part is that the paranoia he instills in the reader is completely intentional. I remember reading the first 20 or 30 pages and thinking, "OK, so far I think I have a pretty good idea of what is going on here." And that went straight to hell immediately after the mention of Slothrop's memories circa 1944 and Blicero's disgusting exploits.

And that's where it gets fun.

Figured this deserved its own topic. Infinite Jest may be my favorite book, and everything I've read compares DFW's style to Pynchon, so I figured what the hell.

What a slog it was getting through this book. Whereas Infinite Jest was 20% maddening and 80% high entertainment, this was the opposite. I understand that the whole idea of the book is confusion and paranoia (along with boners and sexual depravity) and it's supposed to be a challenging read, but I just didn't care enough about the characters (as I did with IJ) to flip back through the book to figure out which of the 8,000 characters or narrative threads the current chapter was about.

Hooplehead.

So what you're saying is that you enjoyed the pedophilia aspects of the book? You sick bastard.

I liked the poop sex.

Which character did you feel the least apathy toward? I was a big fan of Roger Mexico.

I really enjoyed the Mexico-Pointsman stuff. Pirate was another guy I would've liked to have seen more. When the book starts with Pirate I figured it'd be about him and his strange ability, which would've been cool. But you don't see him again for 500 pages.

The interesting thing for me was all the styles of writing Pynchon can pull off. I just wish he would've written more in the styles that I enjoyed.

I don't think you're wrong at all. This book was the most challenging I've read and way more of a challenge than IJ. I hope you don't write off Tom though - have you read any of his other stuff?

I have to admit, GR was the first Pynchon I ever read. It makes everything else he's written a lot easier to digest. And I'm pretty sure it also made it easier to finish Ulysses as well.

This was my first Pynchoning. Are his other books less confounding?

As frustrating as it was, this book was worth reading solely for the fact that it introduced me to the term coprophagia. General Pudding really knew how to party!

Are they less confounding? To a certain degree, yes. I think V is pretty royally fucked up as well but I enjoyed it more than GR. I really enjoyed it actually - would say it's my favorite of his. All I have left to read of his is the rest of Mason & Dixon and Against the Day.

Crying of Lot 49 is his shortest book but it's probably the most paranoid, if that means anything. Maybe pick that one up next and see if you enjoy it - it won't take you too long to get through and it's nowhere near as arduous.
4753  General Category / Paperback Writer / Re: Gravity's Rainbow on: March 09, 2010, 11:24:40 AM
The constant theme of all his books seems to be paranoia and not only are his characters paranoid, you get paranoid because you're not sure what reality or alternate reality the narrative is taking place. For example: talking light bulbs.

This.

And the transition from rational narrative to "what the hell is going on" is seamless in a lot of passages. Gravity's Rainbow is secretly about 500 pages longer than it looks because you end up going back and rereading the last page or so to figure out what you must have missed.

The best part is that the paranoia he instills in the reader is completely intentional. I remember reading the first 20 or 30 pages and thinking, "OK, so far I think I have a pretty good idea of what is going on here." And that went straight to hell immediately after the mention of Slothrop's memories circa 1944 and Blicero's disgusting exploits.

And that's where it gets fun.

Figured this deserved its own topic. Infinite Jest may be my favorite book, and everything I've read compares DFW's style to Pynchon, so I figured what the hell.

What a slog it was getting through this book. Whereas Infinite Jest was 20% maddening and 80% high entertainment, this was the opposite. I understand that the whole idea of the book is confusion and paranoia (along with boners and sexual depravity) and it's supposed to be a challenging read, but I just didn't care enough about the characters (as I did with IJ) to flip back through the book to figure out which of the 8,000 characters or narrative threads the current chapter was about.

Hooplehead.

So what you're saying is that you enjoyed the pedophilia aspects of the book? You sick bastard.

I liked the poop sex.

Which character did you feel the least apathy toward? I was a big fan of Roger Mexico.

I really enjoyed the Mexico-Pointsman stuff. Pirate was another guy I would've liked to have seen more. When the book starts with Pirate I figured it'd be about him and his strange ability, which would've been cool. But you don't see him again for 500 pages.

The interesting thing for me was all the styles of writing Pynchon can pull off. I just wish he would've written more in the styles that I enjoyed.

I don't think you're wrong at all. This book was the most challenging I've read and way more of a challenge than IJ. I hope you don't write off Tom though - have you read any of his other stuff?
4754  General Category / Paperback Writer / Re: Gravity's Rainbow on: March 09, 2010, 10:42:16 AM
The constant theme of all his books seems to be paranoia and not only are his characters paranoid, you get paranoid because you're not sure what reality or alternate reality the narrative is taking place. For example: talking light bulbs.

This.

And the transition from rational narrative to "what the hell is going on" is seamless in a lot of passages. Gravity's Rainbow is secretly about 500 pages longer than it looks because you end up going back and rereading the last page or so to figure out what you must have missed.

The best part is that the paranoia he instills in the reader is completely intentional. I remember reading the first 20 or 30 pages and thinking, "OK, so far I think I have a pretty good idea of what is going on here." And that went straight to hell immediately after the mention of Slothrop's memories circa 1944 and Blicero's disgusting exploits.

And that's where it gets fun.

Figured this deserved its own topic. Infinite Jest may be my favorite book, and everything I've read compares DFW's style to Pynchon, so I figured what the hell.

What a slog it was getting through this book. Whereas Infinite Jest was 20% maddening and 80% high entertainment, this was the opposite. I understand that the whole idea of the book is confusion and paranoia (along with boners and sexual depravity) and it's supposed to be a challenging read, but I just didn't care enough about the characters (as I did with IJ) to flip back through the book to figure out which of the 8,000 characters or narrative threads the current chapter was about.

Hooplehead.

So what you're saying is that you enjoyed the pedophilia aspects of the book? You sick bastard.

I liked the poop sex.

Which character did you feel the least apathy toward? I was a big fan of Roger Mexico.
4755  General Category / Desipio Lounge / Re: Theodore's Bloodlust Not Yet Sated on: March 09, 2010, 12:18:00 AM
All of the attractive women (not pictured in this thread) in Chicago are
lucky that Theodore is in Arizona, because this is some perfect murdering
fog tonight.  Hell, I'm tempted to put on rain coat and partake in some
blood letting myself.

I walked the dogs a few minutes ago and half expected to run into the ghost of HH Holmes.




Boo!
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