Single Greatest Thread Ever

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Not saying gay, just a little pretentious is all.

Have some goddamn perspective, you guys. It's only SPORTZ.

[Oleg]

Not saying gay, just a little pretentious is all.

Have some goddamn perspective, you guys. It's only SPORTZ.

Keep in mind, Apex is the same dude who hated Greg Maddux and was butthurt when they retired his number because...some reason.

[Internet Apex]

Not saying gay, just a little pretentious is all.

Have some goddamn perspective, you guys. It's only SPORTZ.

I felt EMOTIONZ too. I smiled. I felt a tickle in my belly. Then I punched myself in the throat, called myself a pussy and trudged on. No TEARZ.

[Internet Apex]

Not saying gay, just a little pretentious is all.

Have some goddamn perspective, you guys. It's only SPORTZ.

Keep in mind, Apex is the same dude who hated Greg Maddux and was butthurt when they retired his number because...some reason.

Because he's a Brave.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Not saying gay, just a little pretentious is all.

Have some goddamn perspective, you guys. It's only SPORTZ.

I felt EMOTIONZ too. I smiled. I felt a tickle in my belly. Then I punched myself in the throat, called myself a pussy and trudged on. No TEARZ.

Pex guys get emotional about SPORTZ like this. All other guys get emotional about SPORTZ like WRONG.

[PenPho]

Not saying gay, just a little pretentious is all.

pre·ten·tious/priˈtenCHəs/
Adjective:   Attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed.

[Internet Apex]

Not saying gay, just a little pretentious is all.

pre·ten·tious/priˈtenCHəs/
Adjective:   Attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed.

Exactly. I'm a fucking mindreader. Deal with it.

[Tony]

Not saying gay, just a little pretentious is all.

Have some goddamn perspective, you guys. It's only SPORTZ.

Keep in mind, Apex is the same dude who hated Greg Maddux and was butthurt when they retired his number because...some reason.

Because he's a Brave.

Apex, I'm with you. I don't hate Maddux, but he wasn't really a Cub. Unlike Kerry Wood, who I have a bit of a mancrush on.

[Internet Apex]

Not saying gay, just a little pretentious is all.

Have some goddamn perspective, you guys. It's only SPORTZ.

Keep in mind, Apex is the same dude who hated Greg Maddux and was butthurt when they retired his number because...some reason.

Because he's a Brave.

Apex, I'm with you. I don't hate Maddux, but he wasn't really a Cub. Unlike Kerry Wood, who I have a bit of a mancrush on.

Right! I don't disparage Maddux at all. He didn't want to leave the Cubs but they wouldn't pay him what he was worth. He didn't go and campaign to have his number retired, they just did it so Chuck and his son could have a good cry at the ballpark over a player who was very good as a Cub but achieved true greatness and won pennants and a World Series for an NL rival. I find it insulting that the Cubs would foist Maddux's Cubdom upon us when it was the former ownership's bungling of the franchise that led to his unforgivable departure.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go soothe my raging hemorrhoids with lemming tears.

[Internet Apex]

In all honesty, real-life Apex doesn't care if you want to cry for Kerry Wood or cry for Princess Diana or whatever you want to do. But Internet Apex has to police that shit because he thinks it's dorky and the best time to stickpoke people is when their nerves are all jumpy from watching people hug on tv.

And the "get a son" remark is the fruit of that labor of love, you know. DadPex would throw up in his mouth if he ever saw me cry over something like that but hopefully I'm a more evolved male than he'll ever be. Remains to be seen, I know.

[R-V]

But Internet Apex has to police that shit because he thinks it's dorky and the best time to stickpoke people is when their nerves are all jumpy from watching people hug on tv.

And the "get a son" remark is the fruit of that labor of love, you know.

I'm a troll.

Fixed.

[ChuckD]

(eyes pissing tears)

[Slaky]

I can't believe how many "Congrats on a standing ovation and a curtain call in a meaningless game for an average player" tweets/posts/etc. I had to read today. Then I realized that there are a lot of cunts in the world.

[PANK!]

(eyes pissing tears)

Is that shopped?  The E-5?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

(eyes pissing tears)

Is that shopped?  The E-5?

No.