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Author Topic: Ted Lilly. A Cub.  ( 44,543 )

Ivy6

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #150 on: July 25, 2009, 10:02:42 AM »
Quote from: Eli on July 25, 2009, 09:53:31 AM
Quote from: Brownie on July 25, 2009, 09:50:05 AM
Quote from: Eli on July 24, 2009, 02:14:25 PM
And now Ted Lilly is injured while Vicente Padilla isnt.  great choice, hendry.

Um, @BaseballStone, the CDC disagrees.

Well, that's kind of weird.

Vicente Padilla is the personification of the swine flu.

fiveouts

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #151 on: February 17, 2010, 03:50:00 PM »
I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

Internet Apex

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #152 on: February 17, 2010, 04:14:42 PM »
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 03:50:00 PM
I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

I love this story. It is truly terrifying from start to finish.
The 37th Tenet of Pexism:  Apestink is terrible.

PenFoe

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #153 on: February 17, 2010, 04:29:15 PM »
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 03:50:00 PM
I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

I'm not saying you're lying, I'm just saying that if you found a full-service gas station anywhere in Arizona, you're lying.
I can't believe I even know these people. I'm ashamed of my internet life.

Dr. Nguyen Van Falk

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #154 on: February 17, 2010, 04:38:39 PM »
Quote from: PenFoe on February 17, 2010, 04:29:15 PM
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 03:50:00 PM
I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

I'm not saying you're lying, I'm just saying that if you found a full-service gas station anywhere in Arizona, you're lying.

We get it. You're a Mountain Time Zone TDubbs who can't read.
WHAT THESE FANCY DANS IN CHICAGO THINK THEY DO?

Slaky

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #155 on: February 17, 2010, 04:58:52 PM »
Quote from: Dr. Nguyen Van Falk on February 17, 2010, 04:38:39 PM
Quote from: PenFoe on February 17, 2010, 04:29:15 PM
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 03:50:00 PM
I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word.  

The salesman walked away without a single sentence.  







That salesman recognized.

I'm not saying you're lying, I'm just saying that if you found a full-service gas station anywhere in Arizona, you're lying.

We get it. You're a Mountain Time Zone TDubbs who can't read.

Look, it's a great story and I don't want to call fiveouts a liar, but if Rick Sutcliffe was really sitting next to him at Arby's in Topeka I'm calling shenanigans.

MAD

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #156 on: February 17, 2010, 05:11:26 PM »
I don't want to call fiveouts a liar, but if he's trying to convince us he had sex with Christine Hendricks, I'm calling him a liar.
I think he's more of the appendix of Desipio.  Yeah, it's here and you're vaguely aware of it, but only if reminded.  The only time anyone notices it is when it ruptures (on Weebs in the video game thread).  Beyond that, though, it's basically useless and offers no redeeming value.
Eli G. (6-22-10)

Gilgamesh

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #157 on: February 17, 2010, 05:13:58 PM »
Quote from: MAD on February 17, 2010, 05:11:26 PM
I don't want to call fiveouts a liar, but if he's trying to convince us he had sex with Christine Christina Hendricks, I'm calling him a liar.

Snozberries'd.
This is so bad, I'd root for the Orioles over this fucking team, but I can't. Because they're a fucking drug and you can't kick it and they'll never win anything and they'll always suck, but it'll always be sunny at Wrigley and there will be tits and ivy and an old scoreboard and fucking Chads.

JD

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #158 on: February 17, 2010, 05:14:24 PM »
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 03:50:00 PM
I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

What was the name of the car cleaner?
Can you help me live a little more?  I expect good news.

fiveouts

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #159 on: February 17, 2010, 05:25:06 PM »
Quote from: JD on February 17, 2010, 05:14:24 PM
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 03:50:00 PM
I was at a gas station about a mile and a half from HoHo Kam today.  As I finished filling up, some ridiculous salesman came up to me (with a weird, chubby "assistant") to try and sell me on some car cleaner "endorsed by NASCAR!"  He showed me all the ways in which this cleaner would be great for the car I was driving.  I waited for him to finish his sales pitch before I told him that the car I was filling up was a rental and I didn't need car cleaner.  That didn't stop him; he continued his sales pitch unabated for another 2-3 minutes before I just had to say "enough-I said no."  The guy shook my hand and thanked me while still getting one more pitch in.  It was exhausting.

As he finished, Ted Lilly began filling up his SUV at the station next to mine.  The guy moved away from me as quickly as possible, dragging the chubby assistant to Lilly's car, readying his relentless sales pitch.  Before the salesman said a word, Lilly looked at him.  Stared at him for about 2 seconds and said not a word. 

The salesman walked away without a single sentence. 







That salesman recognized.

What was the name of the car cleaner?



That's the strange thing.  He never said.  He told me how it (a) worked as both a cleaner and wax, (b) worked on windows (and prevented smudges for up to six weeks) and (c) could be used on rims to prevent "brake dust" from forming on my hubcaps.  But the guy never said the name of the product. 



However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

JD

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #160 on: February 17, 2010, 05:43:55 PM »
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 05:25:06 PM

However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

What size does she wear?
Can you help me live a little more?  I expect good news.

fiveouts

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #161 on: February 17, 2010, 05:47:39 PM »
Quote from: JD on February 17, 2010, 05:43:55 PM
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 05:25:06 PM

However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

What size does she wear?


About 9 inches.  Fuckin' A. 

Slaky

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #162 on: February 17, 2010, 05:51:40 PM »
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 05:47:39 PM
Quote from: JD on February 17, 2010, 05:43:55 PM
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 05:25:06 PM

However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

What size does she wear?


About 9 inches.  Fuckin' A. 

That's a tiny waist. So, just curious...how big is your penis?

fiveouts

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #163 on: February 17, 2010, 06:00:50 PM »
Quote from: Slack-E on February 17, 2010, 05:51:40 PM
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 05:47:39 PM
Quote from: JD on February 17, 2010, 05:43:55 PM
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 05:25:06 PM

However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

What size does she wear?


About 9 inches.  Fuckin' A.  

That's a tiny waist. So, just curious...how big is your penis?


Ohhhh, man.  You wouldn't even believe it.  The ladies love me.



On a completely unrelated note, how many inches are in 60 millimeters?

CT III

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Re: Ted Lilly. A Cub.
« Reply #164 on: February 17, 2010, 06:45:02 PM »
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 06:00:50 PM
Quote from: Slack-E on February 17, 2010, 05:51:40 PM
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 05:47:39 PM
Quote from: JD on February 17, 2010, 05:43:55 PM
Quote from: fiveouts on February 17, 2010, 05:25:06 PM

However, the cleaner did get me in Christina Hendricks' pants, so I can't complain.

What size does she wear?


About 9 inches.  Fuckin' A.  

That's a tiny waist. So, just curious...how big is your penis?


Ohhhh, man.  You wouldn't even believe it.  The ladies love me.



On a completely unrelated note, how many inches are in 60 millimeters?

I have no idea, but it doesn't sound like very many football fields.