Opening. Day. Female. Odges.

[Brownie]

Hey, we're doing our part. Because of us doing the Lord's work, Yeti is taking out a delightful young meth fiend lass from Pekin.

[Yeti]

Hey, we're doing our part. Because of us doing the Lord's work, Yeti is taking out a delightful young meth fiend lass from Pekin.

And then possibly going to take her on a date?

[Slaky]

I've noticed an abundance of Cub related thoughts and well wishers on the Facebook today.

Huey posted a baseball related song and apparently he has a dickload friend named Craig (not the Sox Craig from softball who is a nice guy) who decided to use Huard's PANKCITEMENT for Opening Day to remind him that the Cubs are shitty and will always be shitty. Real solid friend you have there Huey.

Can I call him a fucking asshole or does he have guns?

Nah, he's a little twerp from Niles with whom I would occassionally smoke weed at NIU 20+ years ago.  That's the extent of our relationship.  Thank you all for doing the devil's work--you were welcome to pile on, of course, but he proved to be a rather irrepressible, in additon to being an insufferable, troll.

BANG!

[PANK!]

I've noticed an abundance of Cub related thoughts and well wishers on the Facebook today.

Huey posted a baseball related song and apparently he has a dickload friend named Craig (not the Sox Craig from softball who is a nice guy) who decided to use Huard's PANKCITEMENT for Opening Day to remind him that the Cubs are shitty and will always be shitty. Real solid friend you have there Huey.

Can I call him a fucking asshole or does he have guns?

Nah, he's a little twerp from Niles with whom I would occassionally smoke weed at NIU 20+ years ago.  That's the extent of our relationship.  Thank you all for doing the devil's work--you were welcome to pile on, of course, but he proved to be a rather irrepressible, in additon to being an insufferable, troll.

BANG!

Gotta love the patient, rational rebuttal provided by Tank in contrast to the full-frontal ad hominem attackery by Apex and me.  Either way, he's angered up my blood more than he should have.  Dammit.

[Bort]

Angering up Huey's blood is like shooting something something barrel something something potato wogs.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I've noticed an abundance of Cub related thoughts and well wishers on the Facebook today.

Huey posted a baseball related song and apparently he has a dickload friend named Craig (not the Sox Craig from softball who is a nice guy) who decided to use Huard's PANKCITEMENT for Opening Day to remind him that the Cubs are shitty and will always be shitty. Real solid friend you have there Huey.

Can I call him a fucking asshole or does he have guns?

Nah, he's a little twerp from Niles with whom I would occassionally smoke weed at NIU 20+ years ago.  That's the extent of our relationship.  Thank you all for doing the devil's work--you were welcome to pile on, of course, but he proved to be a rather irrepressible, in additon to being an insufferable, troll.

BANG!

Gotta love the patient, rational rebuttal provided by Tank in contrast to the full-frontal ad hominem attackery by Apex and me.  Either way, he's angered up my blood more than he should have.  Dammit.

I find his apparent belief that Prince Fielder playing for the Tigers is the defining failure of Theo's short tenure with the Cubs baffling.

But my biggest regret about this conversation is that no one has yet bribed Yeti into asking this dude on a date.

[Tonker]

So, here we go again.  It's time to resurrect this thread - as I do every year - in the hope that, somehow, this year will be different.  Indeed, we already know that this year will be different, because this year the Cubs aren't even pretending to be trying to win.  Nonetheless, it's been six long months since the 2011 post-season was cancelled, and I'd be lying if I said I don't have a little tingle in my ding-a-ling this morning.

Opening Day, bitches.  Go the motherfucking Cubs.

So, it turns out I don't need to come up with something new to write this year - last year's post can be handily recycled.

Go Cubs, anyway.

[CBStew]

The Cubs are opening the season on my birthday.  I think that it is an omen.  (See definition below)







A portent or prophecy of disaster, a sign of impending and unavoidable doom, an indication or sense of what is to come; often the writing on the wall. The allusion is to the Book of Daniel in the Bible, in which a hand mysteriously appeared and wrote a message on Balshazzar’s palace wall foretelling his destruction and the loss of his kingdom

[Sterling Archer]

So, here we go again.  It's time to resurrect this thread - as I do every year - in the hope that, somehow, this year will be different.  Indeed, we already know that this year will be different, because this year the Cubs aren't even pretending to be trying to win.  Nonetheless, it's been six long months since the 2011 post-season was cancelled, and I'd be lying if I said I don't have a little tingle in my ding-a-ling this morning.

Opening Day, bitches.  Go the motherfucking Cubs.

So, it turns out I don't need to come up with something new to write this year - last year's post can be handily recycled.

Go Cubs, anyway.

The quests for 162-0 and Samardzija's first Cy Young are alive and well.  Luis Valbuena and Brent Lillibridge also gave me more reasons to hate them, so all in all a good day.

[Tonker]

So, here we go again.  It's time to resurrect this thread - as I do every year - in the hope that, somehow, this year will be different.  Indeed, we already know that this year will be different, because this year the Cubs aren't even pretending to be trying to win.  Nonetheless, it's been six long months since the 2011 post-season was cancelled, and I'd be lying if I said I don't have a little tingle in my ding-a-ling this morning.

Opening Day, bitches.  Go the motherfucking Cubs.

So, it turns out I don't need to come up with something new to write this year - last year's post can be handily recycled.

Go Cubs, anyway.

The quests for 162-0 and Samardzija's first Cy Young are alive and well.  Luis Valbuena and Brent Lillibridge also gave me more reasons to hate them, so all in all a good day.

I can't hate Lillibridge - he shouldn't be anywhere near the big leagues, and he knows it.  Two of his top-ten similar batters are Eric Patterson and Carmen Fanzone, for God's sake.

[Sterling Archer]

So, here we go again.  It's time to resurrect this thread - as I do every year - in the hope that, somehow, this year will be different.  Indeed, we already know that this year will be different, because this year the Cubs aren't even pretending to be trying to win.  Nonetheless, it's been six long months since the 2011 post-season was cancelled, and I'd be lying if I said I don't have a little tingle in my ding-a-ling this morning.

Opening Day, bitches.  Go the motherfucking Cubs.

So, it turns out I don't need to come up with something new to write this year - last year's post can be handily recycled.

Go Cubs, anyway.

I can't hate Lillibridge - he shouldn't be anywhere near the big leagues, and he knows it.  Two of his top-ten similar batters are Eric Patterson and Carmen Fanzone, for God's sake.

A fair point.  I think I might still hate him though.

[Tonker]

By the way, I know it was cold, and Pissburgh and all, but nonetheless it was a hell of a performance from Samardzija yesterday.  Remember when we could look forward to an opening-day meltdown pretty much every year?  Yeah, that.

Also, good patience shown by the Cubs, by and large - yeah, there was only actually one walk but Burnett threw 98 pitches in less than six innings.  I'm certainly not getting excited about this season, but I was nonetheless encouraged.

[Bort]

So, here we go again.  It's time to resurrect this thread - as I do every year - in the hope that, somehow, this year will be different.  Indeed, we already know that this year will be different, because this year the Cubs aren't even pretending to be trying to win.  Nonetheless, it's been six long months since the 2011 post-season was cancelled, and I'd be lying if I said I don't have a little tingle in my ding-a-ling this morning.

Opening Day, bitches.  Go the motherfucking Cubs.

So, it turns out I don't need to come up with something new to write this year - last year's post can be handily recycled.

Go Cubs, anyway.

I can't hate Lillibridge - he shouldn't be anywhere near the big leagues, and he knows it.  Two of his top-ten similar batters are Eric Patterson and Carmen Fanzone, for God's sake.

A fair point.  I think I might still hate him though.

Keep hating. My deep abiding hatred of Samardzija is paying dividends I never would have expected.

[Fork]

So, here we go again.  It's time to resurrect this thread - as I do every year - in the hope that, somehow, this year will be different.  Indeed, we already know that this year will be different, because this year the Cubs aren't even pretending to be trying to win.  Nonetheless, it's been six long months since the 2011 post-season was cancelled, and I'd be lying if I said I don't have a little tingle in my ding-a-ling this morning.

Opening Day, bitches.  Go the motherfucking Cubs.

So, it turns out I don't need to come up with something new to write this year - last year's post can be handily recycled.

Go Cubs, anyway.

The quests for 162-0 and Samardzija's first Cy Young are alive and well.  Luis Valbuena and Brent Lillibridge also gave me more reasons to hate them, so all in all a good day.

I can't hate Lillibridge - he shouldn't be anywhere near the big leagues, and he knows it.  Two of his top-ten similar batters are Eric Patterson and Carmen Fanzone, for God's sake.

At least Fanzone could play the trumpet.

[Gilgamesh]

By the way, I know it was cold, and Pissburgh and all, but nonetheless it was a hell of a performance from Samardzija yesterday.  Remember when we could look forward to an opening-day meltdown pretty much every year?  Yeah, that.

Also, good patience shown by the Cubs, by and large - yeah, there was only actually one walk but Burnett threw 98 pitches in less than six innings.  I'm certainly not getting excited about this season, but I was nonetheless encouraged.

The defense looked quite good as well.