"Turd Throw" and other stories from the rancid NLC.

[Apexx]

There are a lot games left. If the bullpen keeps this up... I know, I know... the Cubs will stay in it to the very end. Once they get to .500 on June 30 in a win over Milwaukee, we'll get serious. Until then we're just jerking off. But hell, the last two years we couldn't even play with ourselves. So there's that.

[CubFaninHydePark]

But hell, the last two years we couldn't even play with ourselves. So there's that.

First, how do you explain all the dead arms and limp wrists in the bullpen at the start of the year?  Or was it because they were out of practice?

Second, the NL Central all won tonight.  Can we get a 2nd night of that tomorrow, or is this just a fluke?

Finally, I positive the Marmot.  Just keep him out of the tub.

[Fork_The_Third]

Finally, I positive the Marmot.  Just keep him out of the tub.

He was the tits and the tops last night...will he be able to do this type of thing consistently, or is he our new Juan Cruz?

[DPappy]

Finally, I positive the Marmot.  Just keep him out of the tub.

He was the tits and the tops last night...will he be able to do this type of thing consistently, or is he our new Juan Cruz Andy Pratt?

Traded (and vomited).

[Shooter]

Finally, I positive the Marmot.  Just keep him out of the tub.

He was the tits and the tops last night...will he be able to do this type of thing consistently, or is he our new Juan Cruz?

In 14 appearances so far this year, he's only allowed a run once (the Lilly debacle in The ATL). That's a pretty decent stretch.

[Apexx]

Finally, I positive the Marmot.  Just keep him out of the tub.

He was the tits and the tops last night...will he be able to do this type of thing consistently, or is he our new Juan Cruz Andy Pratt?

Traded (and vomited).

I once led the world (and probably still do) in Juan Cruz splooge. But I don't even think at his 2001 best that he showed the command of all his pitches that teh Marmot is displaying right now. Nor has he for any stretch since departing. But I remember Juan Cruz too well to ever carry around a stiff one of that magnitude again. But I positive the Marmot in a slightly un-masculine way. Secretly. Discreetly. Tastefully. So not to cause alarm.

[EG]

There are a lot games left. If the bullpen keeps this up... I know, I know... the Cubs will stay in it to the very end. Once they get to .500 on June 30 in a win over Milwaukee, we'll get serious. Until then we're just jerking off. But hell, the last two years we couldn't even play with ourselves. So there's that.

I agree with Apex

[DPappy]

Karen Carpenter's elbow is swelling up during his rehab starts, derailing his pending return.  His future for the season may be known later today:
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/sports/stories.nsf/cardinals/story/E1458ADDA990A7958625731B0015B5D8?OpenDocument

Ben Sheets is having another MRI on his finger after the first revealed a partial tear of the tissue holding his tendon in place.  He could miss anywhere from 2-3 starts to 6 weeks, depending on the severity.
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=633464

I can't believe that at this point in the season, I actually feel that we've been lucky on this front.

[Slaky!]

Watching the Brewers-DBags...3-2 Milwaukee, top 8, runner on second for the Backs...COME ON.

[Slaky!]

First and second still one out. My hope is that the Brewers have gone to their set up men and closers too often lately. I know they all threw last night. And Augie Ojeda is pinch running. An omen!

Two outs...I don't think Arizona cares. Every time I turn on the game they strike out.

[Taylor]

First and second still one out. My hope is that the Brewers have gone to their set up men and closers too often lately. I know they all threw last night. And Augie Ojeda is pinch running. An omen!

Two outs...I don't think Arizona cares. Every time I turn on the game they strike out.

The bastards

[Internet Apex]

Baby Dolphins. I'm in a fucking blood rage right now.

[Internet Apex]

Bump.

San Fran had nobody on with two outs in the seventh and good ol Carlos Villanueva in to pitch. He walks the bases loaded and goes 2-2 to G-Homo G-Rod. A wild pitch and a bloop single later it's 6-4 Geeeeeee-men.

Can they hold it?

[Internet Apex]

Two on, one out in the eighth. Bonds due up. Yost comes out to talk to Grant Balfour and the stench from his trousers about gags him.

Yost: Can you pitch to Bonds?

Balfour: I don't know, Butchie instead.

Yost: Shit.

Balfour: I just dumped out.


Yost signals for the namesake of this thread and the fung begins. Oh, I can hardly f@#$ing wait. Time for a kick to the dick tip.


Pitch
1. Called strike. Miller crossed up on breaker.
2. Fastball called strike two. Shit. 
3. Wasted up and away at 97 mph.
4. Down and away at 97, it's even.
5. Called strike three, paints the black at 99.

f@#$.

[Internet Apex]

TURD THROW then serves up a 3-0 cookie to Klesko who bangs it off the wall. 7-4. You mothaphuckas!

Aurillia singles to center and it's 8-4. Oh, baby! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Bob Costas in the radio booth with Uecker, just in case bonds homers? What a penis. Why?