Fuck these goddamn gutless fucking assholes

[Powdered Toast Man]

For the love of fucking God please get rid of Ryan Theriot.

I've tried to stay off the Theriot hatewagon, but the last few games he's been fucking brutal. Stick him in a mini cooler and ship his midget ass back to the utter shithole that is Louisiana.

Hey, fuck you, brah.

[Internet Apex]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

[Slaky]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

[Fork]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

Starlin Castro is the first Cubs rookie since Sandberg to make me shake my head and wonder how the Cubs will fuck him up. Goddamn, he's magnificent.

[Internet Apex]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

He's probably a 5 or 6 hitter with serious wheels and serious power. And unlike most lefty sluggers, he can actually square up good lefty pitching. That's a thing. Also he's a threat not to do something retarded after the 32% of his at bats that do result in his reaching base. Of course, it's hard to look retarded when you're jogging around the bases high fiving coaches and shit, but damn if Theriot doesn't pull it off with gusto. Left-handed Corey Hart sans the Midget Face? Sign me up.

[Powdered Toast Man]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

He's probably a 5 or 6 hitter with serious wheels and serious power. And unlike most lefty sluggers, he can actually square up good lefty pitching. That's a thing. Also he's a threat not to do something retarded after the 32% of his at bats that do result in his reaching base. Of course, it's hard to look retarded when you're jogging around the bases high fiving coaches and shit, but damn if Theriot doesn't pull it off with gusto. Left-handed Corey Hart sans the Midget Face? Sign me up.

I believe in Colvin (ESPN told us his mom pronounces it "COLE-VIN", but grandpaw says it "CALL-VIN"...thanks, ESPN), but Starlin is cash money.  This Cashner dude is pretty legit, too.

I'm getting pretty damn tired of the SchlitterBergStevensAtkins AAAA party in the bullpen, too.  FIREBARN those losers.  Clone Sean Marshall a couple times.  Win.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Of course, it's hard to look retarded when you're jogging around the bases high fiving coaches and shit, but damn if Theriot doesn't pull it off with gusto.

INVISIBLE FIRE TRUCK.

[Internet Apex]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

He's probably a 5 or 6 hitter with serious wheels and serious power. And unlike most lefty sluggers, he can actually square up good lefty pitching. That's a thing. Also he's a threat not to do something retarded after the 32% of his at bats that do result in his reaching base. Of course, it's hard to look retarded when you're jogging around the bases high fiving coaches and shit, but damn if Theriot doesn't pull it off with gusto. Left-handed Corey Hart sans the Midget Face? Sign me up.

I believe in Colvin (ESPN told us his mom pronounces it "COLE-VIN", but grandpaw says it "CALL-VIN"...thanks, ESPN), but Starlin is cash money.  This Cashner dude is pretty legit, too.

I'm getting pretty damn tired of the SchlitterBergStevensAtkins AAAA party in the bullpen, too.  FIREBARN those losers.  Clone Sean Marshall a couple times.  Win.

All four of those jamokes have good arms. Let's see which ones can learn to pitch. There are no better options.

And I'm not saying Colvin is Ted Williams. But if MLB is going back to the 1980s where speed and defense matter and 35 dongs is a whole shitload, the guy is more valuable than Slaky thinks.

[R-V]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

He's probably a 5 or 6 hitter with serious wheels and serious power. And unlike most lefty sluggers, he can actually square up good lefty pitching. That's a thing. Also he's a threat not to do something retarded after the 32% of his at bats that do result in his reaching base. Of course, it's hard to look retarded when you're jogging around the bases high fiving coaches and shit, but damn if Theriot doesn't pull it off with gusto. Left-handed Corey Hart sans the Midget Face? Sign me up.

I believe in Colvin (ESPN told us his mom pronounces it "COLE-VIN", but grandpaw says it "CALL-VIN"...thanks, ESPN), but Starlin is cash money.  This Cashner dude is pretty legit, too.

I'm getting pretty damn tired of the SchlitterBergStevensAtkins AAAA party in the bullpen, too.  FIREBARN those losers.  Clone Sean Marshall a couple times.  Win.

All four of those jamokes have good arms. Let's see which ones can learn to pitch. There are no better options.

And I'm not saying Colvin is Ted Williams. But if MLB is going back to the 1980s where speed and defense matter and 35 dongs is a whole shitload, the guy is more valuable than Slaky thinks.

A fair point. Colvin's going to need to slug at least .500 to be a valuable major leaguer even if we're back at 80s production levels, considering his OBP is probably never going to get past .320 or so. If he can do that I'll jump right aboard your sploogewagon.

[Powdered Toast Man]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

He's probably a 5 or 6 hitter with serious wheels and serious power. And unlike most lefty sluggers, he can actually square up good lefty pitching. That's a thing. Also he's a threat not to do something retarded after the 32% of his at bats that do result in his reaching base. Of course, it's hard to look retarded when you're jogging around the bases high fiving coaches and shit, but damn if Theriot doesn't pull it off with gusto. Left-handed Corey Hart sans the Midget Face? Sign me up.

I believe in Colvin (ESPN told us his mom pronounces it "COLE-VIN", but grandpaw says it "CALL-VIN"...thanks, ESPN), but Starlin is cash money.  This Cashner dude is pretty legit, too.

I'm getting pretty damn tired of the SchlitterBergStevensAtkins AAAA party in the bullpen, too.  FIREBARN those losers.  Clone Sean Marshall a couple times.  Win.

All four of those jamokes have good arms. Let's see which ones can learn to pitch. There are no better options.

And I'm not saying Colvin is Ted Williams. But if MLB is going back to the 1980s where speed and defense matter and 35 dongs is a whole shitload, the guy is more valuable than Slaky thinks.

They do?  It's more fun to FIREBARN them.

[Internet Apex]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

He's probably a 5 or 6 hitter with serious wheels and serious power. And unlike most lefty sluggers, he can actually square up good lefty pitching. That's a thing. Also he's a threat not to do something retarded after the 32% of his at bats that do result in his reaching base. Of course, it's hard to look retarded when you're jogging around the bases high fiving coaches and shit, but damn if Theriot doesn't pull it off with gusto. Left-handed Corey Hart sans the Midget Face? Sign me up.

I believe in Colvin (ESPN told us his mom pronounces it "COLE-VIN", but grandpaw says it "CALL-VIN"...thanks, ESPN), but Starlin is cash money.  This Cashner dude is pretty legit, too.

I'm getting pretty damn tired of the SchlitterBergStevensAtkins AAAA party in the bullpen, too.  FIREBARN those losers.  Clone Sean Marshall a couple times.  Win.

All four of those jamokes have good arms. Let's see which ones can learn to pitch. There are no better options.

And I'm not saying Colvin is Ted Williams. But if MLB is going back to the 1980s where speed and defense matter and 35 dongs is a whole shitload, the guy is more valuable than Slaky thinks.

They do?  It's more fun to FIREBARN them.

Well, by all means... Just make sure Howry is chopped up and used for kindling.

[Internet Apex]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

He's probably a 5 or 6 hitter with serious wheels and serious power. And unlike most lefty sluggers, he can actually square up good lefty pitching. That's a thing. Also he's a threat not to do something retarded after the 32% of his at bats that do result in his reaching base. Of course, it's hard to look retarded when you're jogging around the bases high fiving coaches and shit, but damn if Theriot doesn't pull it off with gusto. Left-handed Corey Hart sans the Midget Face? Sign me up.

I believe in Colvin (ESPN told us his mom pronounces it "COLE-VIN", but grandpaw says it "CALL-VIN"...thanks, ESPN), but Starlin is cash money.  This Cashner dude is pretty legit, too.

I'm getting pretty damn tired of the SchlitterBergStevensAtkins AAAA party in the bullpen, too.  FIREBARN those losers.  Clone Sean Marshall a couple times.  Win.

All four of those jamokes have good arms. Let's see which ones can learn to pitch. There are no better options.

And I'm not saying Colvin is Ted Williams. But if MLB is going back to the 1980s where speed and defense matter and 35 dongs is a whole shitload, the guy is more valuable than Slaky thinks.

A fair point. Colvin's going to need to slug at least .500 to be a valuable major leaguer even if we're back at 80s production levels, considering his OBP is probably never going to get past .320 or so. If he can do that I'll jump right aboard your sploogewagon.

He's slugging .504 for his first 260 PAs. If you don't think he cans ustain that well...FUCK YOU!!!

[BBM]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

He's probably a 5 or 6 hitter with serious wheels and serious power. And unlike most lefty sluggers, he can actually square up good lefty pitching. That's a thing. Also he's a threat not to do something retarded after the 32% of his at bats that do result in his reaching base. Of course, it's hard to look retarded when you're jogging around the bases high fiving coaches and shit, but damn if Theriot doesn't pull it off with gusto. Left-handed Corey Hart sans the Midget Face? Sign me up.

All I know is the four letter dork brigade hates them some colvin.  So, I know he's good.

[MAD]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

He's probably a 5 or 6 hitter with serious wheels and serious power. And unlike most lefty sluggers, he can actually square up good lefty pitching. That's a thing. Also he's a threat not to do something retarded after the 32% of his at bats that do result in his reaching base. Of course, it's hard to look retarded when you're jogging around the bases high fiving coaches and shit, but damn if Theriot doesn't pull it off with gusto. Left-handed Corey Hart sans the Midget Face? Sign me up.

I believe in Colvin (ESPN told us his mom pronounces it "COLE-VIN", but grandpaw says it "CALL-VIN"...thanks, ESPN), but Starlin is cash money.  This Cashner dude is pretty legit, too.

I'm getting pretty damn tired of the SchlitterBergStevensAtkins AAAA party in the bullpen, too.  FIREBARN those losers.  Clone Sean Marshall a couple times.  Win.

All four of those jamokes have good arms. Let's see which ones can learn to pitch. There are no better options.

And I'm not saying Colvin is Ted Williams. But if MLB is going back to the 1980s where speed and defense matter and 35 dongs is a whole shitload, the guy is more valuable than Slaky thinks.

A fair point. Colvin's going to need to slug at least .500 to be a valuable major leaguer even if we're back at 80s production levels, considering his OBP is probably never going to get past .320 or so. If he can do that I'll jump right aboard your sploogewagon.

He's slugging .504 for his first 260 PAs. If you don't think he cans ustain that well...FUCK YOU!!!

The whole cans?

[Powdered Toast Man]

This weekend was some of that "good baseball" I've been calling for to keep me engaged. You know, throwing dudes out on the bases, hitting an assload of home runs, beating the Tards, the kids looking good, the pen stepping up - that sort of thing. Yay.

Schlitter's rookie mistake (and Theriot/Fukudome's gross incomptence) notwithstanding, that was the most entertaining series of Cub baseball I've watched since September 2008. Castro, Colvin and Casher are going to be good. Rammy, Soriano and Soto can still play. Theriot and Lee are going to be Ghandi. This is looking good for 2011 and beyond. I'm on the Big Blue Train, female dogs. It's undergoing maintenance of every kind and won't be leaving the station for quite some time. But I've got some beer in a cooler and a couple of good books to read. And I've got porn.

See you guys in 2011!  ALL ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

I'll have what he's having?

I still think Colvin is just whatever. He shouldn't be leading off. I love Castro though. That kid is the truth like Borb Brenly.

He's probably a 5 or 6 hitter with serious wheels and serious power. And unlike most lefty sluggers, he can actually square up good lefty pitching. That's a thing. Also he's a threat not to do something retarded after the 32% of his at bats that do result in his reaching base. Of course, it's hard to look retarded when you're jogging around the bases high fiving coaches and shit, but damn if Theriot doesn't pull it off with gusto. Left-handed Corey Hart sans the Midget Face? Sign me up.

All I know is the four letter dork brigade hates them some colvin.  So, I know he's good.

That's really all the validation I need.