Fuck these goddamn gutless fucking assholes

[Slaky]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

[Yeti]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

No guy named Eric should be black.

[Internet Apex]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

[R-V]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

[Internet Apex]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

You're incorrect. A team with 25 Tyler Colvin's would net you a nice little World Series t-shirt and hat plus one of those blue-ray DVD things the Blackhawks are pumping. Brett Butler's foreskin though? Yes. I laughed a bit. Audibly so.

[Slaky]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

[R-V]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second.

[Internet Apex]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

[Slaky]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

[MAD]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Still better than the women's room.

[Fork]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Still better than the women's room.

No.

Nothing is better than the women's room.

[PenPho]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

I already fought with Oleg about this in the SBox, hopefully he can come here and get all worked up about it again.

[Oleg]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Why?  You afraid he can't catch a ball thrown to him?

[Slaky]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Why?  You afraid he can't catch a ball thrown to him?

Your lack of respect for the 1st baseman position is appalling.

[Internet Apex]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Why?  You afraid he can't catch a ball thrown to him?

Every foul pop would be comedy gold.