Fuck these goddamn gutless fucking assholes

[CT III]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Why?  You afraid he can't catch a ball thrown to him?

Every foul pop would be comedy gold.

Wait wait wait.  Back up here.  You mean to tell me that Brett Jackson is WHITE?

[Yeti]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Why?  You afraid he can't catch a ball thrown to him?

Your lack of respect for the 1st baseman position is appalling.

I was a little skeptical of it at first, but I'll back Oleg up.

[Internet Apex]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Why?  You afraid he can't catch a ball thrown to him?

Your lack of respect for the 1st baseman position is appalling.

I was a little skeptical of it at first, but I'll back Oleg up.

I think he'd be like Adam Dunn only (8-year-old joke)er.

[R-V]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Why?  You afraid he can't catch a ball thrown to him?

Your lack of respect for the 1st baseman position is appalling.

I was a little skeptical of it at first, but I'll back Oleg up.

I think he'd be like Adam Dunn only (8-year-old joke)er.

I think Soto should move to first and Awfulcontractiano should catch.

[Fork]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Why?  You afraid he can't catch a ball thrown to him?

Every foul pop would be comedy gold.

Wait wait wait.  Back up here.  You mean to tell me that Brett Jackson is WHITE?

Someone alert Bill Simmons - he'll need to update his Reggie Cleveland All-Stars.

[Oleg]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Why?  You afraid he can't catch a ball thrown to him?

Your lack of respect for the 1st baseman position is appalling.

If Leon Durham can do it, so can Soriano.  It's nice to have someone like DLee or Keith Hernandez or Mark Grace.  But to put any more defensive importance on it than just to have a hitter there because he needs to play a defensive position is a waste of a resource.  I mean, Cecil fucking Fielder played 1B.

[Internet Apex]

I'm not saying it's not an option. I'm just saying he's going to suck at it and make me mad.

[MAD]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.

I guess it's possible that the light went on for Colvin once he got to Tennessee last year for his second go-round in AA. Since then he's put up some really solid numbers in both the minors and majors and I'm definitely excited about that. But if he's going to be a corner outfielder, I'm wary of his minor league track record of not getting on base and not hitting for as much power as he has the last few months.

You sound kind of asshurt.

I'm kind of pissed they didn't sweep the Tards and I'm taking it out on Colvin. Why couldn't that gutless slapdick hit another leadoff dong last night?

Fuck this, I've got your back RV. I'm not going to sit here and wave my stiff genitalia around at passing cars because Ty Colvin has shown some flashes of solidness. He's been a nice find and I hope he can keep crushing the ball. I don't think he should be hitting lead off. But he's white so he's better than Soriano.

Who do you want leading off? Eric Patterson?

Anyone as long as he's not white.

8-year-old joke.

Brett Jackson's a white centerfielder who gets on base. He couldn't be a more ideal leadoff man if he was wearing batting gloves made out of Brett Butler's foreskin.

I submit that a team with Tyler Colvin leading off or hitting 5th is not going to be very good. A team with him hitting 6th or 7th could be.

Now that's a leadoff man. Too bad Martin Borg is going to be our centerfielder for the next two years. Or is it? I don't know.

The outfield logjammin will clear up when Albatrossiano moves back to second. to first.

Hack Jew and D-Parted-Lee'd.

The thought of Soriano at first just emptied my bowels all over my desk chair.

Why?  You afraid he can't catch a ball thrown to him?

Your lack of respect for the 1st baseman position is appalling.

If Leon Durham can do it, so can Soriano.  It's nice to have someone like DLee or Keith Hernandez or Mark Grace.  But to put any more defensive importance on it than just to have a hitter there because he needs to play a defensive position is a waste of a resource.  I mean, Cecil fucking Fielder played 1B.

Leon Durham was a damn good first baseman you fucking asshole.

Guy makes one ill-timed error and all of a sudden he's stone-hands.  How dare you, Oleg.

[Fork]

McStiff eats ass.

(pre-emptive strike.)

[Powdered Toast Man]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.  

Buster Posey's .371/.407/.579 line isn't even good enough to get him mentioned in there?
If he ends up with 375 ABs with that line, he'll be hard to ignore. 

This is actually a good PenPho post.

[PenPho]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.  

Buster Posey's .371/.407/.579 line isn't even good enough to get him mentioned in there?
If he ends up with 375 ABs with that line, he'll be hard to ignore. 

This is actually a good PenPho post.

However, your re-posting of it was actually not a good IAN post.

[Internet Apex]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.  

Buster Posey's .371/.407/.579 line isn't even good enough to get him mentioned in there?
If he ends up with 375 ABs with that line, he'll be hard to ignore. 

This is actually a good PenPho post.

However, your re-posting of it was actually not a good IAN post.

Had to go and fuck that up, didn't you, slick?

[PenPho]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.  

Buster Posey's .371/.407/.579 line isn't even good enough to get him mentioned in there?
If he ends up with 375 ABs with that line, he'll be hard to ignore. 

This is actually a good PenPho post.

However, your re-posting of it was actually not a good IAN post.

Had to go and fuck that up, didn't you, slick?

What is that?

[Yeti]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.  

Buster Posey's .371/.407/.579 line isn't even good enough to get him mentioned in there?
If he ends up with 375 ABs with that line, he'll be hard to ignore. 

This is actually a good PenPho post.

However, your re-posting of it was actually not a good IAN post.

Had to go and fuck that up, didn't you, slick?

What is that?

Your face.

[PenPho]

If it wasn't for that freak show in Washington...Colvin would be right there with Garcia, Heyward, Leake, Davis, and Castro in the ROY mix.  

I don't understand how people can have anything other than stiff erection for Colvin.  

Buster Posey's .371/.407/.579 line isn't even good enough to get him mentioned in there?
If he ends up with 375 ABs with that line, he'll be hard to ignore. 

This is actually a good PenPho post.

However, your re-posting of it was actually not a good IAN post.

Had to go and fuck that up, didn't you, slick?

What is that?

Your face.

I fucked up my face by responding to IAN's post?