Josh Vitters is, um, like, awesome

[Lance Dicksons Arm]

Why is Tom Dreesen funny again? Wait, why is he funny for the first time? What did he do to get famous? He's the worst. Ever.

This is a very, very good point.  I positive this observation.

My wife and I were watching the game when Dreesen appeared on the screen.  We had wondered aloud how long it would take him to mention Sinatra.  First sentence out of his mouth (paraphrase) "I'm not nervous about singing the stretch...I did a lot of shows with Frank".  At least he's stopped calling him "Mr. Sinatra".  I guess he's been dead long enough that Dreesen can finally stop kissing his ass.  The worst.

Yes, he certainly comes off like a professional ass kisser.  I wonder if you can list that as an occupation for tax purposes? 

He reminds me of Dave Kaplan.

[Lunchbox]

Honestly, can't you think of something better to complain about that the fact some super talented high school player thinks he's going to be great.  Isn't there a drama geek at your local high school that wants to be in a Scorsese film that you can go throw rotten fruit at?

Please use less teeth.  That would be nice.

[Pre]

Please use less teeth.  That would be nice.

Yeah, calling a top draft pick talented is really going over board.  Did he knock up your sister or something?

[EG]

Please use less teeth.  That would be nice.

Yeah, calling a top draft pick talented is really going over board.  Did he knock up your sister or something?

Lunchbox should be so lucky.

[Lunchbox]

Please use less teeth.  That would be nice.

Yeah, calling a top draft pick talented is really going over board.  Did he knock up your sister or something?

You are right.  Not about the knocking up thing.  I hope.

[Dave B]

He got $3.2 million, which is probably a couple hundred grand more then MLB wanted for that slot.

It will be 2011 before he has any impact, though.

[Simmer]

All this hand-wringing over a 17 year old?  17?

17 year olds, dude...

[thehawk]

Are we gonna call this kid J-Vitt, JV, or Vitty?

Hashbrowns.

[Indolent Reader]

Poptarts.

[EG]

Are we gonna call this kid J-Vitt, JV, or Vitty?

Hashbrowns.

Let's call him "Failure."

[Kwyjibo]

"Brocktoon"

[cubbiebluestew]

All new recruits should use Bo Belinsky as their role model.  That guy made the most of his time in the big leagues.

[Kwyjibo]

All new recruits should use Bo Belinsky as their role model.  That guy made the most of his time in the big leagues.

He was Joe Namath before Joe Namath was Joe Namath.

[smg]

Great.  Desipio already hates a 17-year-old kid before he's played one minor league game for the Cubs.  Nice work, fellas.

Yeah, I really wasn't a big fan of this one...was gonna write something snotty such as: Oh, I too was surprised that a 17 year old kid who had probably not had a lot of experience sitting in on a nearly nationwide broadcast sounded a little out of it.

I guess I just did.

Oh, come on.  He was really, really bad.  He had two months to think of something to say.  It might not be fair to make fun of him, but it's also not fair that he's a millionaire and I'm not, so until he learns a word besides "awesome", I'm going to reserve the right to make fun of him.

Seriously: realizing when one is 15 or 16 that one is destined to make millions, assuming that one can manage to keep all of one's limbs attached to one's body, and whether or not one ever actually produces at a Major League-level, apparently does not bode well for one's studiousness.  I realize that is not exactly an original observation.  Nevertheless, what on earth do these kids do when they flame out?  $3 million isn't enough for a 17 year old to retire on, and he probably doesn't even have a proper high school education, being too busy to bother with such things, given all the baseball and sex with cheerleaders.

[Lunchbox]

I thought 10 million was the bonus.  If it was that amount and not 3.2 mil, isn't a little jackassery called for?