"A woman is very afraid of the size of her opening.
So she goes to her mother, she says what am I going to do Iím so big down there when I marry Harry heís going to divorce me.
Her mother says donít worry sweetheart it runs in the family, do what I did when I married your father. Go to the market, get some raw liver, put it in there heíll never know the difference.
So she does.
They have eight hours of sex after their marriage. She wakes up at 10 oíclock, heís gone but thereís a note on her pillow. It says My darling Harriet. To think that I waited a year to consummate our loving relationship makes my heart beat so loudly Iím surprised it didnít wake you up.
The only reason Iím not here now darling is that Iím at work to make enough money to buy you a house, apicket fence, weíll have dogs and children.
When the 5 oíclock dinner bell rings I will be home like the winged Gossamer of love in your arms, Your loving husband Harry.
PS. Your C*** is in the sink."