Parks and Recreation

[Slaky]

"The hardest part of living in a pit is keeping my suit pressed."

There are a lot of weird people in this town.

This was a great first episode.

[Eli]

Ron: OK, here's the situation.
Leslie: Your parents went away on a week's vacation and left the keys to the brand new Porsche?
I'll just take it for a little spin and maybe show it off to a couple of friends.
That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking.
I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking.
This girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh.
She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far.
I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car.
Well parents are the same no matter time nor place, so to you other kids all across the land, no need to worry, parents just don't understand.
Ron: Someone is on fire in Ramsett Park.

[JD]

I thought the gay penguins thing was just so-so.  Sure, it sounds funny in theory, but, if you've ever had to deal with a gay pet, then you know it's no laughing matter. 


We loved you no matter what, Duke.

We loved you.  No matter what.

[JD]

Andy eating the candy necklace was pretty funny.  I also liked the cop doing the interview like it was a police report.  Or, at least that's what I think they were going for, there.

[Eli]

www.dukesilver.com

[Slaky]

I'll have your wife tonight.

[JD]

I'll have your wife tonight.

That dude is awesome.  What's his name?  Ron?  Yeah, Ron's the balls.

[Slaky]

I'll have your wife tonight.

That dude is awesome.  What's his name?  Ron?  Yeah, Ron's the balls.

Rontanamo Bay. Perfect mustache. I love him, too.

[JD]

I'll have your wife tonight.

That dude is awesome.  What's his name?  Ron?  Yeah, Ron's the balls.

Rontanamo Bay. Perfect mustache. I love him, too.

He's worked hard to cultivate a persona of fear around the office. 

[Tony]

They need a Jim to mess with the Ansari and Poehler characters. The city planner, mustachioed boss, and Rashida Jones are worthless.

You're an idiot, Weebs.

[Fork]

They need a Jim to mess with the Ansari and Poehler characters. The city planner, mustachioed boss, and Rashida Jones are worthless.

You're an idiot, Weebs.

You're a butthead, Tony.

[Tony]

They need a Jim to mess with the Ansari and Poehler characters. The city planner, mustachioed boss, and Rashida Jones are worthless.

You're an idiot, Weebs.

You're a butthead, Tony.

I thought I was a Bananahands.

[Slaky]

What kind of birds do you eat?

Chicken.

Us too.

[Eli]

Venezuela has the best patients in the world.

Because of jail.

[Slaky]

It's kind of like doing peyote and sneezing slowly for six days.